Social Developement Concerns- Please Help

D., I don't know. It's better to be safe then sorry. Call first steps. they will evaluate her for free. If she needs therapy, they will come into your home and do it. There is nothing to ashamed of. my daughter needed ot and pt when she was little. Now she's ahead of schedule. good luck1 J. (mom of 3)

Everyone else seemed to jump right to the fact that your child probably does have something wrong, but I looked at the situation from the other side. My mother in law is always right and everyone else is always wrong. Every time my children do something different from the way her children did things it's because of some major issue and I should rush them to the hospital right away. Example: She was a firm believer in rocking your children to sleep I believe in teaching them to fall asleep on their own. So when she would baby sit she would try to rock my kids to sleep and the would fall asleep. I knew it was because rocking was different from what they were use to. My MIL was convinced they weren't falling asleep because they had sleep apnia and couldn't breath at night. If no one else is seeing issues with your daughter and your MIL has autism on the brain because for this boy she knows ... don't worry about things so much. At the next dr. visit say that you think she is fine but MIL has issues and see what the dr. thinks.

D.,
I have a son with Autism, Asperger's Syndrome. I think you should follow your instinct, but it can't hurt to have her evaluated by First steps as mentioned in another post. They are pretty good and it will give you the tools you need. Don't worry, she will be just fine. Let me know if you ever need to talk!

Hi Dehah !

I'm the grandmother of two Austic boys(3&4).I understand all the concerns that you and others have.My oldest wasn't diagnosed untill he was over 2 years old.The same with his younger brother.The doctors and I knew what was going on.It's the diagnoses that takes so long.
Poor or little eye contact is only one of the 8 signs of Autism.The best source I can tell you about is the Autism web site. www.autismspeaks.org.Read about the warning signs.Then if you still have concerns,please contact your doctor.He or she can help you get the help you need for your daughter.
I hpoe that this helped.

My oldest daughter is 10yrs old. She has selective mutism, she doesn't do eyecontact and she can't or has hard time talking with adults, besides mom and dad. I know my mom use to comment that she felt my daughter didn't like her based on some of her actions, but it was the same with my mother-in-law. We just assumed she was shy, then I took her to a doctor for something else at the age of 9 and she diagnosed her, which is late. But we are working on it with meds and therapy and it is going better. I think if you talk with your doctor at her well check- go with what he/she says. Kids do develop at different rates, sometimes changes happen overnight. I wouldn't worry, just keep it in mind when you go for dr visits.

I wouldn't worry too much at this point. I know it is hard to ignore other family members' perspectives, but trust yourself. Having your daughter evaluated might relieve some of your stress.

Look into www.infirststeps.com. First Steps is Indiana's program to evaluate and provide developmental services for infants and toddlers(up to age three).

Our son was late in talking (no words by 22 months, just babbling) and First Steps sent out two therapists to evaluate him. He was determined to be behind his age group in talking and has had weekly sessions with a developemental/speech therapist in our home since. First Steps is state supported; the evaluation is free and therapy sessions have a small co-pay based on your income. The team will also help direct you to additional resources (like good preschools when the time comes). It has helped him make quite a bit of progress and quelled some of my worries.

Good luck.

I have a son with autism, so that part about the eye contact is a little concerning. However, you don't need to get all worried about that because you can take steps to have her evaluated. When my son was 1 year old they did a test called the Denver Developmental test. That showed all the areas where my son was developing slowly. It can't hurt to have her evaluated! I know it's frustrating to have your mother-in-law getting involved. However, if you have her evaluated and your daughter isn't deficient in the social-emotional area then you can prove you MIL wrong! That can't be bad! ;0)

I know alot about autism since my son has it but I also know it could be other things that could cause your little one not to have no eye contact.. Have you had her eyes tested?? Sometimes a baby can have a eye condition and you may not even know it and that could be the reason she is not having eye contact with people.. There are always other issues than Autism that causes lack of eye contact.. If it were me I would have her eyes checked ( just to rule that out ) and than if that comes back ok have her tested for other reasons for the eye contact issues. As far as everything else goes she sounds like she is right where she should be.. I hope this helps..

It sounds to me that your daughter is doing a lot of things right for her age. The issue with eye contact is the only thing that would make me think that further evaluation might be needed. Babies usually love to look at their parents for relatively long periods of time. You certainly can't go wrong asking for your pediatrician's opinion and possibly the opinion of another doc in the group. She's probably just fine and their opinion will put this issue to rest. Otherwise, they may suggest that she is in need of some extra support. Bless you and your family!

Hi D.,

It sounds to me like your daughter is fine. It is fine to keep an eye on things (and if you are concerned, postpone the MMR shot until she is 2 years old, ask that at that time they split it into 3 shots, given 6 months apart) But really they say crawling is not even a milestone, some kids skip it altogether and go to walking. She is already saying some words and associating them with people. I would not worry at this point.

Good Luck!

HI I have a son who is 9 now, he lives with Autism. I was in youe shoes a long time ago. My parents and mother in law were telling me he was not developing socially. I got mad and didnt talk to any of them for months because I thought they were telling me my son was stupid. That was not the case at all, they were concerned, I finally got my head out of the clouds and started watching him more closely. He was talking, walking all the "normal" stuff. His pediatrition was very concerned also, I finally got him tested at 18 months and he was/is autistic. I got him in therepy right away. He has come along way, but it took me some time to come to grips with it. Autism is a scary word! BUT it is not all bad. If you love your child you can get through anything! I would keep my mind open, and just keep an eye on her then maybe ask her Dr if he/she thinks there is anything there...the worst thing you can do is get her tested and she NOT have autism, what have you lost? If she IS autistic you can get her the therepies she needs and have a jump start on helping here that other parents dont have because they dont want to see it. Good luck and God Bless, I hope everything works out for you and your little gilr. I will be praying for you all!

B.

At the age of one when you are talking to her and she is babbling she should keep eye contact for a short period of time. At that age they will not keep eye contact for a long period anyway because they do not have the attention span to do so. You can have her checked out if you'd like but I don't seem to think that there is any real reason to worry. Kids develop at their own rate and she may just take a little longer which is fine. I don't really foresee and issue with autism at this point in time. You can't tell for sure at that young of an age anyway. I'm sure she will be just fine. Autism isn't always picked up at 18 mo. to 2 yrs. either sometimes it can take longer.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7, and 4.

I think all children grow at their own pace. My son never crawled! He rolled until he was over a year old or did the army crawl. He never actually crawled on his hands and knees. Then when he was 13 months he took his first step and then he was off and running. Now he's 11 and he's perfectly normal. I've known kids that never really talked all that much until they were 3 or 4. My cousins little girl just turned a year in May and she still doesn't say much. She calls her mom MMMM and that's pretty much her vocabulary right now. Besides your daughter is only a year old! What child that age sits long enough to seek out a conversation or much less hold eye contact? I wouldn't worry about her development unless you see she is suffering in some way. Before you know it she will be chatting your ear off and running you in circles. While your mother in law may have the best intention why create a problem when there isn't one? Just take her opinion for what it's worth. Don't stress yourself out over this and worry about nothing. Use this time to get the extra rest you need because in a few months I'll bet you'll need all the energy you can get!! Good luck!

Contact Help me Grow ( you can google them for the phone number) tell them you have concerns and want your child evaluated. They will send someone to your home to play with your daughter and evaluate her. They will be able to tell you her strong points and weak points and refer you for help if she does need it.

This is a free service.

You might speak your concerns to her doctor at the one year visit. I went through the same thing with my oldest son who is now 5 1/2. He didn't say much but the basics (mama, dada, hot)till he was at least a year old. And it was still several months before he really picked up his vocab. His dr. was concerned at his 1 yr. checkup and had him evaluated by both a speech and physical therapist. he was also not walking at all at one year. The visit from the therapists was very helpful. They felt that he was progressing well enough and showed me different exercises to do with him (I was at home with him)to encourage those things. Check with your dr. to see if the First Steps program is available to you. The therapists were sent through first steps program and continued to stay in touch with me and check on his progress. My son didn't end up walking until he was a year and a half and was just fine. Now he doesn't sit still and will talk to you until you are blue in the face.
I am with you as far as feeling like you know your child. Trust yourself and let your dr. know how you are feeling. My second son has showed me in comparison to my first that...kids really do grow and learn differently and NOT always by the book.
Good Luck ...

Its hard to tell this early weather or not she may have autism, but it never hurts to have her evaluated just to get ideas on what is appropriate for that age.. it could put your mind at rest or give you options to work on w/ her. I do understand your concern.. I am a mother of a 4 1/2 year old son w/ autism, I was in total denial and they said from early on that he had it but I fought them up until he turned 3 when I realized that he still had no desire to speak... he is very smart, very loving, I get kisses and hugs all the time so he didn't have typical traits.. he just but scooted everywhere until he walked, he never crawled and still hasn't spoke but he does understand and does do some signing.. ANyway your pediatrician could give you some tips or reccommend you to be evaluated by 1st steps..

There are a lot of signs to look for in Autism. Eye contact is one, but there are many others. Just do a quick search on signs of Autism, be honest with yourself when you go down the list, and if you see other traits-there is no harm in having your child evaluated. Early intervention is a big key in treatment so it's better to find out now, rather than wait.
My Mother in law is the one that mentioned it to us. We knew our son was delayed in some areas, had some odd quirks, but doesn't everyone? I'm really glad now that she cared enough to say something. Through various therapies my son has progressed amazingly:)
It took a bit of time to get used to the diagnosis, but just remember if she does have it, it's not the end of the world. She is still the precious gift you've always thought her to be:)

D.,

I usually tell people to trust their guts, but often, we do not know what to be concerned about. I would find out why your child is not making eye contact and not seeking joint attention. We have had the most sucess with developmental pediatricians for our children with autistic spectrim disorders.
Try not to look for the "signs" that prove that she does not have it, you may be very wrong indeed, there is no one thing that they do that will disqualify the diagnosis, many children walk and talk and still have an austistic spectrim disorder. Get you information from people who diagnose it everyday. Check the list on autism speaks web site, it is very good, but do not count on your regular pediatrician knowing squat about it, many don't have a clue, and waiting to "see" is the absolute wrong thing to do, the earlier you intevene, the better the outcome, period.

Our children with autism had signs from the day they were born, but we did not know what we were looking for. You have your first warining sign, take it seriously, and at the very least, do not ignore anything else with this child that makes you say "is this typical?" Any feeding problems, sensory issues, sleeping issues, anxiety and fears(including being clingy) slow fine motor development, slow gross motor developement or awkward gross motor skills could be early signs.

I'm sorry but your mother in law is over the top. I hope you are able to enjoy your child and the way she is growing. You cannot compare one child to another. We all are made up differently. It is hard enough being a parent without someone standing over your shoulder telling you what to do. Just relax and watch her grow and at her check ups discuss any concerns with your pediatrician. My son was identified at 3 with speech delay. At 2 to 3 I noticed things that made me investigate further.On top of that a person's personality is also the make up of each one of us. AN introvert is less likely to have eye contact over an extrovert.There are just way too many variables. And by the way each person , all of us, have something that we are not good at, it does not mean we are autistic.I guess your message hit a nerve in me. People don't really understand what autism really means and that are many variables and that are some wonderful individuals with autism. PLEASE enjoy your children and DO NOT let your in laws scare you . You will, in time, know if there is any basis to what they are saying.ENJOY.

Hi D.,

IMHO your baby sounds perfectly OK. We all develop differently.

Have you read the book "What to Expect the First Year" ? sorry, can't remember the author. That gives guidelines for what to expect each month. Also, two authors wrote books for each year of a child's life, up til 5 or so, maybe more, called "Your 2 year old" " Your 3 year old" or something like that. Their last names are Ilg and Ames. One of my La Leche League leaders swore by them. The ones I read seemed to be pretty accurate for my kids. You can judge if she is on track with them or a little ahead or a little slow, because you know her best.

By all means it doesn't hurt to ask the doctor, that's what you pay him/her for!!

Good luck and enjoy your baby.

K. Z.

HI D.,

DOes your son not make eye contact with anyone? Or if he does, how long?
I am the "better safe than sorry" type.

My son wouldn't eat solids by 10 months he was rejecting the food. He wasn't sitting up at 6 months. He was loosing weight. Anyway... everything is fine now, he is thriving great, eating and drinking milk, he just turned one on the 9th and is 3 lbs heavier and very healthy.

I had First Steps evaluate him and they determined he didn't need services. He ate great for them and they gave me tips to get him to sit up. I was babying him too much basically ha ha ;)

So you loose nothing by having him checked if there are things that concern you. :)

That's what I'd do.