My 2 year old has always been a good sleeper, but never a long sleeper. For the first half of this year, she was going to bed around 9 pm, and waking up around 7 am, so 10 hours. Well for the past month or two, even though we still put her to bed at 9 pm...she has not been falling asleep until 10:30 or 11 pm! AND...she still wakes up at 7 am. AHHHH! So for napping, she has always taken an afternoon nap for 1.5-2 hours a day. So I thought, let's try taking out the nap. As much as I LOVE nap time (its when I get things done!), when we took out her nap over the weekend, she was fast asleep by 9 pm. So I guess this means she is ready to phase out naps.
Okay, now here's the problem (and the reason I'm looking for advice). I work full time M-F and she is in daycare. Everyone has nap time in day care. Even if my daughter is told she has to lay down for "quiet time," just being in that setting she will fall asleep anyway. How I am supposed to ask someone who takes care of 3-5 other children to give up her only free time in the day to let my daughter stay awake??? I did talk to her about it, and suggested that she sleep only 45 min to 1 hour at the very most. That's okay, but it was still 10pm before my daughter fell asleep last night. AHHHH! It's just weird to me that my daughter will not get more than 10 hours of sleep (nap & nighttime combined) in a 24 hour time period.
So....does anyone have any advice for me? Does anyone else have a child like this?
FYI it is state law that they have a rest time, so there may not be much that the daycare can do to keep her up if she wants to sleep.
Maybe you should try to put her to bed earlier. ( is kinda late. My 2.5 daughter goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00p. She actually sleeps longer if i get her in earlier!(until 7:45 and 9:00am). She naps about 1-2 hours in afternoon. Good luck.
Hi-
It can be so frustrating! What worked for me (my more experienced friends suggested it) was the sage advice in a book called "The Seven O'clock Bedtime." Easy to read, not dogmatic (no "system!"), practical, (also recently out of print, try amazon or library.) Basically - kids need ALOT of sleep, usually, and if I wait until after 8:30 to put my kids to bed, they are ALWAYS up for another hour falling asleep. Kooky as it sounds, try the afternoon nap AND putting her to bed EARLIER, like 7pm. No kidding. Now, can be infinitely tough when you get home in evening after working, seems like no time together, BUT - calmer kids. My 6 & 8 year old boys STILL gratefully lay down at 7 and fall asleep easily (mostly), but if I miss the window and put them down after 8 pm, they've gotten their second wind and it's MUCH longer. Means I sometimes pull the 'black-out' curtains shut "It's nighttime :) " to get it dark in seasons where the time change has made it still light out then. A regular bedtime rhythm that is soft and quiet also helps (little ones love to have a candle lit as part of a quieting down ritual, along with the privledge of getting to blow it out at the end.)
Good luck! B.
My little guy is 27 months and he has never really slept more at night than 9pm-6am. As long as he wakes up happy and has a good day, we have learned to just put up with it - sometimes my hubby and I take turns getting up with him in the morning, but in general we have to get going to work anyway so it's not a huge problem. We think he just doesn't need a whole lot of sleep. He takes a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap during the day.
But your current problem is that she won't go to bed until so late. I know whenever we have tried to cut out naps, the little guy has just fallen asleep around 5 or 6pm and then wakes up at bedtime instead of staying asleep all night. Personally I would try a good bedtime routine, being firm about going to bed, and keep putting her back to bed if she gets up - no "reward" of any kind for getting up - no talking, no cuddling, etc. Let her bring something to bed with her to look at if she wants, but teach her that it is night time now, the house is quiet, and she has to be quiet. Just like day care, if the environment is conducive to sleep she will fall asleep.
Another alternative is that maybe day care can let her sit up and look at books quietly or something instead of laying down taking a nap. They have to have been through this nap transition before and need to be flexible about different children's needs. My day care has a quiet corner with beanbags where kids can go if they are upset, or where the older kids can hang out during nap time and just have some down time.
Good luck! I know it's hard being a working mom and needing your sleep, time to get things done, and time for yourself or with dad. I just keep believing things will get easier!
If your daughter will still nap in the afternoon I would say that she probably isn't totally ready to drop the nap yet. I would try keeping the nap and putting her to bed a little eariler at night. Maybe she just needs to have some "wind down" time in her bed before she goes to sleep. Try putting her down at 8:00 and see it that helps her to unwind by 9:00ish. I would keep the nap if she still seems to want to take it. Good luck.
C.,
I used to work at a day care center before my daughter was born and I worked with 2-3yr olds. It wasn't unusual for parents to request that their child only sleep for a specific amount of time so they would sleep at night. We also had a couple parents who didn't want their child to even take a nap. While yes it is of course very nice to have all of the children sleeping for a spell, its also very easy to entertain one or two children who don't take a nap. So don't feel bad about asking them to not let your daughter take a nap. She can color, read books, have nice one one one time with the care giver helping them prep and prepare for anything they will be doing next. The kids who did stay up loved it because they got to do alot of different things with the care giver that they would never have been able to do because it was just one or two of them and that is much easier to manage.....
So feel free to ask them to not let her sleep.... you are paying for her care and they are there to serve you and your child :-)
B.
A wise woman told me that my son will sleep when he is tired. Guess what. She was right. Try not to worry so much about how much sleep she is getting. I think you hit the nail on the head with taking nap time out of your house. However, most day cares and some preschools have a "quiet time". Some Kindergartens still have them. Eventually, she will learn to be quiet and only fall asleep if she needs to.
Can't fault anyone for that! :)
Be strong. It's going to be h*** o* YOU!
S.
when daycare and I had these parenting differences as I like to call them we got a nanny. Is that a possible solution for you now?
I have a child like this!
My 2 year old son sleeps 9 hours/night with a 2 hour afternoon nap. I tried to skip his nap yesterday and he fell asleep in the car at 5pm. It was impossible to wake him up so I let him sleep for 40 minutes and once again he didn't go to bed until 10:30!
I completely feel your pain! It seems like my husband and I never get a free minute (child-less) to ourselves.
I've worked as both a nanny and in a child care center. As a child care worker it is nearly impossible to keep one child awake while all the other children sleep. I think the suggestion of hiring a nanny is a great one! If your child's sleep schedule continues to be a problem, I would definitely consider it.
Good Luck
Yes - all my three children dropped their naps at 2 years old. My 11 year old has never ever needed more than 10 hours. My five-year-old has also gone to bed at 9pm and woken up 7ish for several years. Some children just need more sleep than others - just like adults. My mother and sister need more than eight hours to function at all - I'm fine with 6 to 7. I guess that during day care you're going to have to let her sleep for that hour, but at weekends you can just drop the nap so she'll go to bed earlier. Good luck - Alison
I honestly don't feel that you can ask the daycare provider to allow your child to stay awake because if they make an exception for her then none of the children would want to nap. It is also a good idea that she learns to have quiet time even if she doesn't actually fall asleep. Maybe you could try the quiet time at home so that you are still able to get some things done. I have found that my 3 year old stays awake much later when he is overtired. It seems that adrenaline kicks in and he refuses to sleep. Since he has been taking naps again, he seems to fall asleep earlier. It doesn't seem that a one hour nap would make such a difference but it really does. Good luck! :)
Hi C., my son was 2 when he dropped his nap and then he would sleep from 8-6. Wow, those felt like early mornings! I did try the go to bed early suggestion before I dropped his nap but he was then getting up at 4-5 am and I just couldn't handle it. I guess I don't have any advice. I just wanted to give a little moral support! Good luck!
instead of taking out the nap I would try putting her to bed earlier, around 8pm. Both of my kids have always had a problem falling asleep if they are overtired and get wound up and an earlier bedtime worked like magic!
