Sick on Son's Birthday,

I feel for you. I was pregnant with my 2nd child and on bed rest for my son's 1st birthday. Talk about guilt! The 1st birthday is one of the biggest! I had to have the party 3 months after his birthday. I think the only one it really bothered was me. He doesn't remember and we still had a really big party for him. Please don't let it bother you too much. You can still give him the best birthday possible when you are feeling better. Get well soon!

Everyone understands when someone is as sick as you are. And you are so right, he does not know it is his birthday. Plan the affair another day. Also, there is plenty of time to take him for his pictures. And fun can happen on other days. It is the memory that will live forever not what day you actually did everything on.

Hello, first of all I am sorry to hear about how sick u are. Hope u get well soon!!!
About your guilt....are u kidding me??? Think about yourself, I know being a mom it is difficult to put yourself first ever!!! He is 2 yrs. old and would appreciat you in any shape your in, as long as you are physically there, he doesn't mind. Postponing the party was the best and only way to handle the situation. You would not have enjoyed it and probably would have been unpleasant company anyway. This is a memory you will want to be well for and think about the pictures too!!! Do you want your son looking back in 15 yrs. and seeing mommy sicker than a dog at his party? Don't feel guilty at all. He will still get his big day.. only when he does YOU will be there completely and healthy. Feel better soon!!!!

You poor thing! He's 2 he doesn't understand dates on a calendar yet and therefor doesn't really get that today's his birthday. Get better, and then in a few days wake him up and say "it's your birthday!" and celebrate it that day. He'll never know! and you won't miss out. We did that when my son was 2. My husband couldn't get out of work and so when it was his day off we got up and said "Happy birthday! Did a special breakfast and spent the day doing fun stuff!"

R., do you love him?? That's really all he needs right now. You and your husband's love. He will not remember this birthday and it doesn't matter that you can't do it today. You didi not ruin it in any way, shape, or form! People get sick, and it never chooses the opportune time to hit. Everyone needs to lighten up about the guilt thing. You didn't plan this and you just need to adjust the celebration. No big deal. I pray you feel better tomorrow, but if not, it's not the end of the world. You are more disappointed than your son is. Hope this helps, L.

Happy B-day, Sorry to hear your under the weather, even if he were 10yr, or 16yr. if mom is sick, you need to take care of yourself, it's not like you planned this, no one wishes to be sick. I understand the guilt, but please don't feel bad, sometimes we have had a blow out B-day party, and some year's only 1 guest show's up, I actually left that year to go shopping at Kohl's with my older daughter, and left the B-day girl and her 1 guest with my husband for about an hour. She invited over 15 friends, and relitives, 12/23/99 is her B-day, that was 2 years ago, snow was unbelievable, white-out. Ashley says she is the luckest girl in the world to have her B-day two days before X-mas, only 1 guest and they still had a great time. Lots of hot tea, and soup. My oldest daughter lives in Deerfield, last yr. I drove 45min. just to take her mom's homemade chicken soup. You need that to get better. Your his mom everyday, forever, remember that, you can make it up to him, once your feeling better. Mom of 4 daughter's, grandma of 3 boys, one girl, and one girl on the way, in July 2009.

If your husband is there to take care of him, I would suggest that he take him on a "special date" to do something fun. I would suggest someplace like Jungle Java (in Ann Arbor or Canton). It is an indoor play structure and is a ton of fun. The good thing about him being 2 is that they were your plans not his so if your husband makes a big deal out of whatever he does with him, your son won't know any different.

The best present you can give him is a Mommy that feels better. Take very good care of yourself and he will be grateful. I wish I knew a remedy to get rid of guilt but alas I am also a mommy so I know it goes with the territory. Feel better. Drink lots of liquids. He doesn't know how to read a calendar so whenever you celebrate will be just fine for him! Take care.

I also had to postpone my daughter's 2nd birthday party...twice. My sister was very ill (breast cancer) and we were out of town to help care for her and her family. She passed away and we were out of town for quite a while. We ended up celebrating my daughter's August birthday in October. She did not care a bit, and certainly has no recollection of it now. Put aside your guilt and worry instead of taking care of yourself. You will get well and then you can celebrate your child and family. As you look back on this time, you will (trust me) see that it is no major deal and you stressed and worried for nothing. Feel better!

1. He's young enough that it won't be totally devastating
2. This is REAL life, its not like you're skipping his birthday, you're just postponing it
3. You don't have an option, you're too sick to move, so just focus on getting better.
4. Once you're well, follow your original plans and enjoy it!
5. Lose the guilt, he'll live, and he needs to learn (early is good) that the world does not revolve around him. He's part of this family and you'll give him the celebration when you're able to. His birthday is NOT ruined, just postponed and it sounds like he's getting spend some extra one on one time with Daddy today, so that's going to be special!
6.Smile it will all work out!

I had to cancel my son's first b0day party. Don't worry--- it means more to you than him!

He's 2....
He will have NO memory of this day...
he got to spend the day with daddy... That makes it awesome.

Us moms have some quite high bars set for ourselves. You gotta let yours down a bit. YOUR SICK!!! REST!!! Be thankful that you got sick over the weekend and not monday morning when Hubby would not have been around to give you a break. (assuming he works that is)
As for the all around fun day... I don't know about at your house... But unless you are a duck, today was a pretty bummer day. So you would have just hung out inside anyways.

Relax, recoup, and party when your feeling better. The odds are that in future years you will have more partys and celebrations for his birthday on days that are NOT his birthday than you will have ON his birthday. And don't worry... He will not be scared for life from this.

Now go cuddle up and go to sleep!

I hope that you are feeling better today! We can't always take care of everyone else while we are sick. I pray that you can be more gentle and forgiving with yourself. I, too, am very blessed with a husband who can pick up and carry the load when I have been too sick to get out of bed. Though it felt like forever, it was only one evening. I barely made it through the day with my daughter, needed my mother-in-law to pick up my son from school and went straight to bed the instant my husband got home. Everyone will have more fun when you are all better. And, a very happy birthday to your son!

Stop the guilt! Take care of yourself... mommies get sick too. Your son is too young to remember and probably won't even know the difference. If he seems upset, just promise him you'll have fun when you get better. One of the best things we can teach our kids is not everything works out as planned all the time. Life happens. Let your husband take over and get some rest. Feel better soon!

My daughter just turned 4, and with the exception of her 1st birthday, every birthday has been postponed! This year, it was me...I had the flu also! We gave her the choice of having her party anyway at my in-laws and without me, or waiting a week for mom to feel better and having everyone here. She chose to wait a week. In fact, she told me that she would "skip her birthday" until I was better! She knew it was her big day and wanted to wait. Right now, he won't know that you are doing a different day...and you can make it all that much more exciting for him if you want! Take him to Toys R Us and let him choose one toy or where you eat when you do go out! As a mom, I have discovered that celebrating their birthdays is as much about them gaining another year of life and all of the memories and milestones that come with it as it is celebrating another year of being a mom! I think that's why you feel so guilty...this day is a huge deal for both of you! Let the guilt go...he still have his celebration and you'll feel better when you do!

The same thing happened to my husband on our daughter's first birthday. He was SO sick, we had to change the party and get her pictures another day. I was so sad at first, but it can't be helped. It's not like you forgot, or you're just being lazy, you're sick...and all the fun things you have planned he won't remember, but you will, and you'll tell him the stories...so they'll be better stories if you wait and go when you're NOT sick! I know it's hard as a mom...I feel guilty about things I shouldn't, but you really have to just try to let it go. Talk about his birthday today and tell him that when mommy feels better we'll do all these fun things for your birthday, he'll probably be excited he gets to have a birthday twice! Take care of yourself and feel better!

Yes your his mom your his savor your his anchor. If your not well your none of them. So what should be on your mind is getting better so you can do all those things with him in a couple of days. You should not feel guilty people get sick. It happens! You need to get better and than you can enjoy a day with him. Meanwhile as long as hubbie is feeling good have him take the day off and enjoy the day with his son. Have hm do those things you planned and they will have a blast having a daddy and son day. Than when you feel better and your back on your feet you can do something nice for him maybe it will be warm enough to take him to the park! Remeber no one benefits if you aren't healthy! Not even your husband and also remember your husband is doing his best while your making yourself better. Your son understands. If it seems he doesn't he will one day Just do whats best for your family!!! Get Well Soon!

Hi R.,

Life happens. Cut yourself some slack- get better! No guilt allowed, life is too short for that stuff. He's only 2yrs old, he doesn't get it yet. I just had emergency heart surgery about 3 weeks ago (complete shock, as I am fit and a runner). My daughter will be 2yrs old next Friday, and I can't even walk (this recovery is a very SLOW, and I'm pretty much an invalid right now, b/c I can't do a thing- I do email for a couple of minutes a day, so to feel a little connected to the world). Obviously, we are just going to have a cake and some balloons. That's life. When kids are 3yrs old, they get it a bit more, not now. Be fortunate he's only 2 yrs old and won't know the difference. Rest and get better(: Take care.

Off topic, but if have you ever thought about working from home? I do that now after the kids, b/c I didn't want to be away from them. Maybe you want to check out my website. If you like, you can drop me a line and I can give you the address.

C.- mom to a 3 1/2 yr old boy and almost 2 yr old daughter.

That's hopefully what your husband is taking care of. The best you can do is get better, let him do his share, and then you'll be in top form.

There's no Rx for this malady. Just feel better, ditch the guilt, and have a great time when you can.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. You are completely right...he won't know the difference, but he will know that you aren't feeling well. Take care of yourself and get better soon and then you can schedule a post birthday party/pics/all-around fun day. I know how disappointed you must be (we had to cancel my first son's 1st birthday bash because he had a fever and wasn't up to it...not the same thing, but still disappointing) but taking care of yourself is just as important for your son as it is for you.
Happy Birthday to your son, and GET WELL SOON!! :)

He doesn't know when his actual birthday is - you can celebrate it another day in the same fashion that you were planning on. I had a similar issue the weekend before my daughter turned 4 (her birthday was on a Monday). We had planned to take her to see Great Grandma and go out for lunch with her. At about 8:30 that Saturday morning we got a phone call that changed the day - Grandma had a heart attack and was in the hospital. Needless to say, my husband and I spent some time at the hospital, we brought our oldest to say good bye and spent some time at the mall with her (our youngest was only 2 so stayed with my mom). About mid-afternoon we got the test results of Grandma's heart, and it wasn't good. We decided that we needed to up the family party (just us and our moms) to supper that day. Grandma passed away later that night and we spent our daughters birthday at the funeral home. However, she never knew - she thought her birthday was on Saturday, and she still got to see Great Grandma. My point is, you can re-plan the day for this coming Saturday, have fun, take him out to supper, pictures - whatever you wanted, and he'll just think that it is his birthday. Or give him a little bit each day with a big cap of this coming weekend. Then he'll think his birthday is all week. They're pretty flexible at that age.

Just do it all next week when you're feeling better. No one will care if it's not ON his birthday. The fun won't change! No biggie! My daughter was sick on Holloween of all days, and couldn't go trick or treating the year she was 6. I felt awful about it but she doesn't even remember she missed it - obviously not a traumatic event for her. Really, no biggie! Have fun!

Awww... hon ... don't beat yourself up!!! You are there for him every other day of his life. You need to rest so you can continue to be there for him. If you're sick... you can't.

So.... have hubby take the little guy out for special 'Daddy/Son' time. They can celebrate his birthday ... and then once you're feeling better ... he can have ANOTHER celebration with Mommy! :-) Seriously ... what kid isn't going to just LOVE being the 'special birthday boy' TWO days!! He will love it!

There are tons of places that daddy can take him to... Jungle Java, Bounce U, Ann Arbor Hands On Museum.... the list goes on. Then, you can do all your special things when you feel up to it.

You couldn't control getting sick. It happens. Your little guy isn't going to remember this in 3 years and by RESTING you are doing more for him because you will speed your recovery and be able to be there for him sooner and be the awesome mom you are.

So, lay down ... drink your fluids (sips only) and get better!

You poor thing! Rest and get well. Your son can't read the calendar and had no expectations about any certain day, and will have no memory of the delay. Just do it later and enjoy it then! STOP FEELING GUILTY! That's an order! You are a good mom to be so concerned. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we hope. Everything's going to be fine. Just get well!!

What is stopping you about giving your son "the best birthday possible" when you are well? The beauty about little ones is that they have a terrible sense of time, and in fact, I suspect your 2 year old (provided you didn't tell him) should have no clue that it was his birthday or that you are celebrating it late. Enjoy him and these "time span" tricks while he is young!! Get better and get over the guilt! You've got many years ahead of you and more important things to feel guilty about!!

Let me add: My kids' birthdays are either on or near holidays, so we rarely do a big celebration on their actual birthday and schedule it when it works with our schedules.