Birthday Party/mothers Day Delema?

Updated on April 02, 2013
G.A. asks from Apollo Beach, FL
20 answers

Hi all my delema is my sons birthday is the day before mothers day, problem is both my mom and mother-in-law live aways away,so I was thinking sense we all r going to be together already for the b-party, why not just celebrate both the day of the party,or like after the party,how do I ask ask them both if it's ok to do that witout hurting anybody's feelings?

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

If Mother's Day fell the day after my grandchild's birthday, I would have no objection to celebrating both together. In fact, I would say let the kid have his big kid party, and let the mamas just go out for lunch together before or drinks together after.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

maybe a few other things to consider. you could do kids bday at lunch time and do a mothers day dinner or vice versa.

The only reason i could see things being a little weird was if you were having DS bday at chucky cheese with his school friends and were just going to buy granny some mothers day skiball tokens.

but if you are doing a house party and have a small gift for the grandma's i think it will be fine, just explain to them what exactly is going on.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

If they are reasonable people, they'll just understand. Maybe have them each wear a corsage, or give them each a bouquet of flowers at the party.

eta: Today is my 2 yr olds birthday; tomorrow is my BIL's; Friday is my sister's; hubby's birthday is in May; my oldest son's was in Jan; my middle son is in June. My parents are coming into town Memorial Day Weekend, which is our 8th wedding anniversary. We'll be celebrating ALL of those occassions, plus Mother's Day, then. We do what we can when we get the chance to.

7 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

If both your husband's mother and your mother are planning to attend your son's birthday party (which should probably be held as early in the day as possible).....Let them both know that you and your husband have also planned a "SPECIAL" surprise for them in the late afternoon or early evening. If you can afford....a nice dinner out....if not a special dinner at home with some of there favorites.

In OTHER WORDS...don't ask just let them know (in advance) what the plans are and put the ball in their court.

5 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I see no reason they would have hurt feelings. You are being efficient. And it's the day before. Unless they are totally Ms. Crankypants types, I would think it would be fine :)

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Or you can celebrate them both on Mothers Day. I don't see a problem either way.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that, once people become grandparents, they are happy to do things for their grandchildren and don't get offended by little things. It's not like you're asking to ignore mother's day completely; you just want to celebrate on a different day. So ask them like this:

"We're so happy that you're coming to town for Tommy's birthday party. Since you'll already be here, we would like to take you out to dinner later that night to celebrate Mother's Day. Does that work for you?"

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Miami on

How? Simple:
"Hi Mom/MIL. We are so glad that you are coming for Joey's birthday party next month. Bob and I were thinking that since we are all going to be together that afternoon for the party that we could extend the celebration and have the family stay for dinner in honor of Mother's Day as well. What do you think?"

Considering that their other option is to NOT see you all the next day, my guess is that they will be fine with it.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Does your family always place a big importance on Mother's day? I sent my mom, MIL and grandma cards, and that is the end of it.

If you guys usually do something for Mother's Day, then have the birthday party early in the day and then you ladies can go out to dinner and celebrate yourselves. Your mothers-day gift to each other? Getting to go to a nice grown-up restaurant without the kids. :-D

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

A good friend of mine had her daughter on May 9. They regularly celebrate Mother's Day and her birthday at the same time, because all the family is together. She will turn 15 this year, so they've been doing it for a long time. Works out well for them. Nobody has ever had hurt feelings over it that I know of.

2 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd celebrate at the same time, we've combined many celebrations over the years. My guy's birthday is next week, his party is on the 13th. We're having his whole thing, plus a lemon cake in honor of my Mom's birthday, the 8th, she passed last November. Plus, my sister's MIL, she and our Mom share the same birthday, PLUS my 11 year old nephew earned his black belt in Tae Kwon Do last Saturday, we're celebrating that, too :)

I wouldn't think their feelings should be hurt, I would say since they live aways you'd like to make it easier for everyone and celebrate his birthday and Mother's Day together, have a special dessert for each person, make it a big deal. BTW, my grandson's first birthday party was at my wedding reception!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I don't see it being an issue. You stated they don't live close and if they are in town for your sons bday I think they would be fine with it . We combine things all the time. Just say hey since your in town how about celebrating on sat instead of Sunday.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Just ask them! I would have no problem with this and would appreciate that you are thinking of it in advance and trying to work out a plan! I would say "since you guys are going to be in town for cuties birthday, which as you know is the day before mothers day, could we make arrangements to get together to also celebrate mothers day while you are in town?"

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

We did this before. We had my sons birthday, and my MIL birthday on the same day. First, I made sure it was ok with MIL to have a dinner party for her, first. We all threw together a nice dinner, and afterward everyone else came over for cake for my son. It was nice.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Sounds reasonable to me.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I share a bday with mother's day all the time. It's always been that way. Usually, though, my bday has the shaft and it's about my mother --she makes everything about her.

Last year, when my bday fell on actual Mother's day, I suggesed we all just go to the Zoo and have pizza afterwards. it was great. I'm doing the same this year, with or without my mother.

I'd just call them and say "hey, X's bday is right before mother's day, how shall we handle celebrations this year? I was thinking it might be best if we ____________________"

1 mom found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Just let them know kindly and a matter of factly that this year the plans will be____________________________________.

Get it all worked out in your mind and on paper first how you're going to do it, where, time, food etc. You can always find a way to make it special for everyone.

I would think that at their ages they've had plenty of mother's days and it's not a negative to share it with their grandson. They may even think it's great. That's the way I'd look at it; everyone is celebrating together, something that doesn't happen every year. For me, my b-day lands on Easter every once in a while, and so I always think of it as extra special even when I was a kid. So maybe it'll be extra special to them and/or you can make it sound that way to them.

Anyway, just do it. It'll be fine.

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

What kind of MIL and mom do you have? Are they all about their grandkids, or all about themselves? Why not ask them how they feel about it? Tell them why you are considering it. Then if they are both in agreement, go for it. If someone balks, change the weekend and see who shows up.

Dawn

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You could have the birthday party the we before or after.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I guess it depends on who you are going to invite. My daughter's bday is around father's day, in the past when we did the party that weekend almost nobody came and the family that came preferred to celebrate her and then they were going to do their own father's day celebration.
I would totally ask my mom (she wouldn't mind) but my MIL (I think she would say it is okay but I would feel like I am forcing her...)
Talk to them :)

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