Should This Be the Last Straw?

Tangela,
Since you are talking to the director today, I would probably propose this. "Since my childs food allergies are not being watched, i will start bringing her breakfast and lunch every day. Since I will be bringing her food for her to eat, you will need to lower my tuition by $10-$15 a week to compensate for my having to bring her meals." This is what i would do. There is no reason for any day care to over look a childs allergy. For all they know she could possibly need an eppy pen (which you may or may not have), and if they can not treat her promptly, in the case of having a sever allergic reaction, then it could cause prolonged issues or even death. They need to be held accountable for their non organization of information.

I would find a good in-home daycare. Typically just a few kids and one to two teachers. The kids develope a strong bond with their care-taker and the other kids. Plus you won't have the communication issues because you will directly working with just one person.

I would be worried too, what if it was something more serious? Next time may not be so lucky. How old is she?

If this is the daycare you can afford, and your baby is comfortable there, I would just stay on top of them. Lots of kids, lots of teachers---things are going to happen. We all make mistakes. When you talk to the director, ask what she's doing to make sure this doesn't happen again. If you're satisfied with what she says, stay. If not, go. At 16 mo. your baby doesn't need social skills, so maybe you could find a friend or friend-of-a-friend to care for her at home.

Finding a daycare that you like and trust is always a challenge--especially when you have to be budget conscious. There are always going to be some compromises...we all hope our child's safety won't be one of them.

Did you also inform them in writing? I find these things are best communicated via the director. Many centers have protocols in place for keeping staff up to date on such changes. Some centers require a doctor's verification of allergies. A verbal comfirmation is fine, but writing is always the best...especially in a more serious event.

I faced a similar situation a little over a year ago right before my daughter turned two. I loved 95% of what they were doing, but I witnessed a near accident that made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been there.

I moved her to a new facility within a couple of weeks. It was tough...it took TWO weeks for her to adjust to the new schedule, the new people, the new teaching style. But, I'm glad I did it. Ultimately, I found a better place with a more structured setting, better educated teachers, and consistent staff. Do I love everything about it? No! (way too many "treats" and not nearly as flexible) but I don't question her health and safety.

Meet with the director, but I believe it is time for you to look at other options. You will have a hard time trusting them. If nothing else, it will reassure you that you are still at the best place available.

It is also important to remember that a daycare IS NOT a school. For the most part there are no teachers...just caregivers. That isn't to say that my daughter hasn't learned some wonderful things, but lets be realistic about qualification requirements for the job.

The problem is, you have no guarantees another facility won't have problems keeping track of these things too. Will this daycare allow you to pack a lunch and/or snack for your daughter so that they do not need to feed her at all? I know it's an added hassle for you but if overall you like the facility and you don't want to have to change this might be an option.

Good luck,
K.

Im sorry but the fact that they didn't listen to your request is enough to take her out. The thing is if you keep her there you are gambling at the expense of your daughters health. I understand what you are saying about sending her to a new school but that's life, at some point in life she will change friends and so it's ok to expose her to that now while she still has no real idea of what that means.

I took my daughter out of her daycare because I didn't feel she was being taught properly and I kept hearing incidents of other kids hitting her and that's unacceptable to me. When I am spending my hard earned cash to send my daughter to a school that says she's learning and that problem children will be dealt with and I find out the contrary is happening, it's no questions asked. She has to be removed from the situation. You have to look at it the same way as if you were going to a restaurant, if they messed up your food the entire time you were there and you were still required to pay, then you would not go back to that place so why continue to send your daughter to a place where there is a lack of communication as well as the other problems you addressed? It doesn't make sense. There are so many good daycares to choose from that settling for one that clearly doesn't listen to something as important as allergy concerns is not a good idea.

I wouldn't leave this to chance, I would take her out and find another place.

Its time to go to another day care. Actually, when it comes right down to it, you will be the best care giver for your daughter. Too bad you can't be a sahm. That would be the best for you and your daughter.

How ever, another day care couldn't do any worse for your daughter. I'd try another day care. If you could find a friend that was a sahm and pay her what you pay your day care provider, that would be the best.

Good luck.

it sounds as if there are more pluses, it's just that this minus is so HUGE and potentially dangerous that it might outweigh all the pluses.
if it were me, i would have a come to mama session with 'em. you are extremely pissed, rightfully so, and i suggest you show it. (obviously not with discourtesy or ugliness, but anger can be properly and correctly displayed in circumstances like this.) tell them that they are one rash-spot away from a lawsuit. tell them just exactly what you told us here, that your daughter is happy there and you are pleased with many things, but this is non-negotiable and will not be tolerated. are they willing to tighten up their ship, or do you pull your kid AND report them to your local oversight companies on your way out the door?
hopefully you will get not only sincere apologies but a concerted effort to do better and to demonstrate their genuine concern and desire to right by you and your child.
if you're not happy with the response, pull her out and let them angst and bite their nails in your thunderous wake.
khairete
S.

I think for everyone's sake, you should take your daughter out of that daycare situation.
This isn't the first food related question you've asked and you say that if your daughter's rash had been worse because of the pineapple, you would have been in court over it.
"Why would you give my child something I tell you she's allergic to?"

Why would you keep her somewhere that has showed a lack of communication and organization...to the point you mention court?
You wouldn't have much of a court case for negligence if you keep your daughter there because you haven't found somewhere else you like and can afford. She has stranger danger issues but there is new staff at the daycare she's in as well.

You say you've had issues for the past year but kept her where she is because she was safe and happy. If that's no longer true, take her somewhere else. End the debate.

Best wishes.

I would remove her. Remember that you employ them, so they work for you. We had a similar issue with our daycare, my kids developed an apple allergy. I am now a stay at home mom that keeps kids. If you werent so far, I would say I would keep your daughter. But I am in Saginaw, kinda far from you. Good luck.

Maybe you should get her one of those medical alert bracelets so EVERYONE in the future will know what her allergies are. You can google 'medical alert bracelet' & find the website. The bracelets are only $9.95 & they make them in kids sizes too. Good luck!

That daycare is EXTREMELY lucky your daughter had such a mild reaction to the pineapple. Next time, it could be worse. Do you feel safe that this was a wake-up call for them and there won't ever be a "next time"? Are they even equipped to handle a more serious reaction? Since your daughter has allergies, how a daycare/pre-school/school handles their allergy policy (if they even have one) is one of the most important things for you to research. If they blow you off and seem lax about it, remind them of their position if a child goes into anaphylactic shock and ends up in the ER (or worse!) on their watch. If they STILL seem to disregard the seriousness, take your daughter out. Honestly, I'm shocked that your child was fed a food that was SPECIFICALLY on the allergy list.

Having a good daycare is so important. It's hard enough having to leave your kids anywhere.
I have been blessed with my sons daycare, but if it was me, I would talk to the director once. If there she/he doesn't convince you, start looking elsewhere. I will say one thing about turnover with staff. NOT GOOD. It is so important that the "teachers" know all of the children. All of the teachers talk at my sons school. They have meetings about the kids and even the teachers that aren't in his room, know him and even better, he knows who they are.
Good luck. I know this is a really tough thing.

I wouldnt pull my child just because of this. I know you told the teacher, but you need to take a little responsibility as well. You didnt take precautions to make sure the director or your childs teacher knew. The directors are the ones that put up and pass around allergy information. Unfortantly, like someone said before this isnt a school, its a daycare, and with daycares you get young people, who are usually not the most responsible for passing on information.

Yes, I agree since you saw it written down somewhere that the new teacher should have checked the allergy list, and that is the directors fault with lack of training.

Now what I would be concerned about and why I would pull my child is the turn around in teachers. You cant expect your child to learn, because from the way you talk by the time a teacher gets to know your child and can start to figure out what and how each kid learns they are gone.

Sometimes, you get what you pay for.

Good Luck

Did you talk to the daycare about the incident? Maybe a child next to her had pineapples and happily shared with your daughter. Did a teacher actually serve her the pineapples? Either way, it's still a concern, but your response should reflect the truth of the situation. If it's a case of sharing, then I would talk to the teacher about seating her away from children who are eating what she's allergic to, and monitoring that other children aren't sharing with her. Also, if you haven't already you need to have your daughter learn what she is allergic to and why it's so important she not eat those things. It'll obviously take some time, but it's better to start now - it's amazing how quickly kids pick up on things! I know many 2 year olds who can rattle off their food allergies and will refuse the foods if offered. Since teacher turnover is an issue, something I've seen parents do is to have a small laminated note pinned to the back of the shirt listing the child's food allergies. Finally, if an adult staff did actually serve your daughter the pineapple, then you need to decide how many incidents are too many. Is the daycare willing to take responsibility and take action to ensure this doesn't happen again? Or do they make excuses and say the same old thing again? If you're willing to give them a chance, let them know that if it does happen again, you will pull her from the daycare, and then follow through. If she's been there for a year, they really should have a handle on her needs.

I don't know what your other issues are, but to me, this should not be the last straw. When you meet with the director today, I would ask her/him what precautions are NOW in place since this incident to make sure this never happens again. You definitely have the right to be concerned, but I doubt the food allergy training will be that much better at a different daycare unless you step in.

Get an action plan for them to follow if she has another reaction to anything. You will need to get this from a doctor, and have them write down everything to do from a reaction such as a rash, to a full-blown anaphylactic response. You will need to provide the daycare with all medications, and make sure they are all listed on the action plan. You will also need to make sure they are kept current, replaced when needed, and get a new plan each year.

You cannot expect your daughter to go through life without being mistakenly exposed to potential allergens, so you need to be ready for the worst case. PLAN that it WILL happen; HOPE that it DOESN'T!

Also, ask the director how she plans to train staff, and even offer to help. Make sure there is a plan in place for new hires, and subs if your daycare uses them. If you see a new face, make sure you mention your daughter's allergies. Make sure they all know how to use an Epipen, and what to do afterwards if need be.

Now that there has already been an incident, this might be the safest place for her, as they will be even more aware of her allergies. These are just people, and pineapple is not a common trigger food, so you cannot expect that honest mistakes will not be made. Plan accordingly to keep your daughter safe.

If the director cannot help you to feel like this situation is resolved, then get her out of there. Good luck!

You should probably move her to a new daycare. The fact that there are always new teachers is not a good sign. Her teachers are her main caregivers during the day, so it's important that she can attach herself to the same ones.

The pineapple situation isn't good either. Suppose her allergy was more serious?

Good luck! I may have to change my daughter's preschool next year due to financial reasons and I dread the thought of my daughter having to meet completely new friends.

Take her out. Why would you have to wonder EVERYday if they are getting it???
go with your motherly instincts.

I wouldn't keep my daughter there. They are doing something that is endangering your child. It was just a rash this time, but it could get worse or some other item could have a worse reaction. I would take her out!

Find another school....

I would take her out of the daycare, they sound irresponsible. I would like to know why they did not call you and tell you that your daughter was developing a rash during the day and that you did not find out about the rash until you picked her up. This is a serious situation, you are lucky that your daughter did not have a more severe reaction, next time she might. Most facilities will not even serve a food that one of the children are allergic to.

I agree with most of these moms...pull her out. However, one thing to keep in mind with this day care (or any other that you may find) is that at 16 months these toddlers tend to take food off of other kids trays/plates and need to be separated from the table when they have a severe allergy. It usualy isn't until they are about three or have a major reaction that they will keep their little fingers off their buddies plate. So, when shopping for day cares, I'd make sure they have an allergy table or have enough space between little ones so that when the child care provider turns around they can't reach over and steal a bite. Good luck to you, I know how frustrating and scary allergy issues are.

You've given them enough time to get it together, take her out. Her safety is much more important, don't wait for it to be a major thing. When you find a new place take your daughter to them a few times before she actually starts and stay with her. Good luck!

I don't mean to sound harsh but are you kidding? You said there have been several reasons/incidents that you've felt maybe she should be removed from this place and yet you haven't? Alleriges CAN be terrible, and each exposure can lead to a worse reaction. She needs to be removed. If you truly can't find a place that you can afford and is any better, You'd bet the director would know that I was extremely upset. I would tell her that I feel like my hands are tied b/c I can't find another place, and yet I'm fearful of my daughter's safety at this center. The face that there are new teachers all the time tells me it's probably not a great place to work, which means the teachers have no incentive to be good...good teachers that are treated well where they work and are happy in their job don't keep leaving all the time. I think you've got some BIG warning flags here. If the allergy list isn't handled, what about leaving kids in the car? Having one left in the classroom when everyone goes outside, or vice versa! I feel you pain about not having another place to take her, but I think I'd make that a HUGE priority!

Could you hire a mom who wants some extra money to take care of your child @ your home? Then you would be in charge.

You may be feeling uncomfortable for a good reason. Don't ignore your mother's intuition. It sounds like cost is an issue (isn't it always with child care-LOL) but there are some great resources out there to evalute if your child is in a QUALITY child care program and help you find one if it isn't. A recent article in the Washington post just outlined the importance of quality early care (birth to 41/2) in longstanding success in school, social settings, etc.
If you get in touch with the Child Care Resource and Referral service (google it or look on NACCRRA web site) for your community they not only can help give you some additional options for child care, they usually provide you tips and guidelines for "quality" programs and red flags.
finally, I would check the child care licensing web site to see what other deficiencies they have had over the past few years.
Good luck, change is hard, but at 16 months, if you choose to move her, she will adjust :)

Your child is the most precious gift you have in this world. If your instincts are telling you there is something amiss then there usually is.
Also you stated there seems to be a turnover that's enough to cause concern.

TAKE HER OUT!!! There are a million daycares out there, and some of them are even competent. I would search for one carefully and make sure you are comfortable with the director and the teachers and that they will respect your wishes with your child. It would probably also be a good idea to find a day care where you bring your own lunch if possible. Never keep your child someplace you are uncomfortable with the way she is being cared for, she is too precious. We have been in preschool the last couple of years at Little Saints and it is an excellent program. I don't know what part of town you are in, but if you are anywhere near the North Dallas/ Addison area, I can highly recommend The Bent Tree Child Development Center - it is a daycare I had my child in while I was working, though I'm not now. They take a personal interest in each child. My daughter is a heart transplant recipient and they were very careful with her needs. I would stay away from daycares that are too big and commercialized - sometimes too many kids equals too many sicknesses - that's how my child got the virus that led to her heart transplant. Scary but true. It was a well known chain. On the other hand make sure the smaller ones have all they need to give the care your child needs and deserves - its a slippery slope I know. I would ask them not only about how they treat situations with allergies, but what their sick kid policy is too. If they have a loose sick kid policy run! I hope you have some good options and good luck to you, I know its hard.

My sister had the same issue with a daycare that is pretty big and well known in the T. area. They were giving my niece strawberries, which give her a rash and my sister talked to them about it a few times and it didn't seem to help the problem. Part of the bigger problem, was there was so much turnover in the teacher department, that my niece had 3 different teachers in about a 4 month time period, which was horrible, because her first teacher, and the main reason my sister enrolled her, was so awesome and really good with the kids. The next two teachers were so bad! It was amazing that they were in the profession, because they didn't even seem to like kids! My sister ended up taking her out of school and I happpened to be staying home with my son, so I am watching her now and it is so much better for her. She is very shy and she seems way less anxious and has so much fun with me and my son. She doesn't get lost in the crowd, like she did at daycare. I am in the Little Elm area, and have room to watch one more child, so if you are interested in hearing more about me and my experience, I would be happy to talk with you and give you my resume and referrals. Good luck to you and your daughter!

S. L.
____@____.com

We found the most excellent licensed home care through the state of T. licensing board. You search there by your zip code. She loved and cared for my child better than I could have (a professional with over 20 years of experience)! Since I knew only one person was in charge of my child, she was going to be the one carrying out the messages I gave her in the morning.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...