Should They Have the Right to Choose.

You definitly have the right! I would be very upset to see my daughter was coming home with marks on her because he feels it is ok to drop her off so he can attend church. Also it is not fair to your daughter to just be dropped off in a strange place for a hour with people that she is not familiar with. Maybe a way to work around this though is that he find a church that does services that allow children. I know most churches in my area have services that do this. Not sure about churches in your area though. Maybe it is something you can look into. And if they don't ask him to bring her home to you before he goes.

W.,
This is a child-protection issue. There isn't a single answer or piece of advice any one person can give you on this. However, there are steps you can take to get through to your ex. The first thing to do, as soon as a bite mark appears on your daughter, is to get an appointment with the pedicatrician as soon as possible. The bite marks will be examined closely and thoroughly and made a permanent record in your child's chart. Do everything the pediatician's office tells you to do to care for your daughter's injuries. Then speak with your ex about your daughter's injuries and what the pedicatrician says and his/her recommendations. If your daughter continues to come home with injuries while on visits with her father, the next step, would be for you to call your local child protective services agency and speak with one of their associates. Tell the person you speak with about the injuries, the steps you've taken (e.g. documented w/pediatrician, speaking w/your ex). Ask them what their recommendations are to help you protect your child from future injuries. If you're not sure where to start or how to find this agency, you can start with the main page for your state (www.maine.gov) or you can look in your local phone book white pages under the heading "Maine, State of". It would be a government listing.

Let me know how it goes.

I have to disagree with this being child protective quite yet (if you are sure that the bruises etc. happen at the nursery and not at the hands of dad or stepmom). It's true that accidents happen in child care. I worked in a full day care center for infants and toddlers, and bites happen. It does need to be addressed- by her dad with the care providers. It may be that the care is inadequate and the church needs to fix that or your daughter should not be in the nursery anymore. If your ex is reluctant to address that, then it may become an issue for child protective. Yes, call the pedi and be sure it is documented. Human bites can cause infections easily if they break the skin. As for the church issue, it may be that you talk about it, express your concerns (that your daughter should be able to choose), and he expresses that he wants to expose her to it so she can make an informed choice. And you may agree to disagree, and he will continue to take her to church because he can. But the biting issue MUST be addressed- he may not know how bad it is if you're finding the bruises later at bathtime. Every other weekend you will have the opportunity to show her something else, and when she's old enough to ask, you can talk about why you don't go.

Hi, the question you ask is "should they have the right to choose" My answer to that is yes. He is your daughter's father. My husband and I also bring my son to church each week (he is 2). We also leave him in nursery for 2 hours. My son loves it in nursery. They play games, sing, and learn about God - as much as a 2 year old can comprehend. I believe that church teaches morals and discipline that is not being taught by so many parents these days. Church helps in so many ways. I also have a step-daughter and when she comes to visit every other weekend we bring her to church with us. In her normal environment she is not exposed to anything religious. Are you sure that your child is getting bite marks and bruises from nursery? I would suggest that you attend church with them one weekend and see for yourself. I am sure that it is not as terrible as you think. It is possible that she is getting the bite marks and bruises from somewhere else. Does your husband and new wife have other children? It sounds like to me that you just don't want your husband to bring your daughter to church. If you really don't like your daughter going to church.... take a look at your custody papers. In our case, since we have joint custody and she lives with her mother, her mother is the one to make those major decisions for her. We spoke to my husbands ex and she is ok with us bringing his daughter to church however if at anytime she is not ok with it, we would have to stop bringing her. Do some research online and find out what your legal rights are.

I am not a very religious person and I too belive that it should be a person's choice. However my husband is Catholic and we have decided to raise our son as a Catholic because he will not be able to make a decision if he is never exposed. If he decides later on that it's not for him then so be it. It can't hurt and your daughter may actually grow to like it.
As far as the bites and bruises are concerned I would ask her father about them. I too work in day care and kids get hurt from time to time but it shouldn't happen constantly. Maybe he has not even noticed them and they could be from something else (a sibling, a pet, etc...).
Good Luck

Wow, that's a tough one. I tend to agree with you, that kids should be allowed to choose a religion. However, they need to be given the opportunity to learn about religion in order to make an informed decision. I personally would argue that she is probably a little young for this to happen. Plus, if she's just getting "dumped" in the nursery, she's probably not really benefiting from the experience. Unfortunately, your ex has parental rights too, so it might be something you'll just have to deal with until she is old enough to make her own decision. However, the safety factor is a little alarming. Accidents happen in daycare, but she shouldn't consistently be coming home with bruises and bites. That's evidence of bad care. You might not be able to fight the church issue, but you should firmly question the care she is receiving and put your foot down if needed.
Good luck, from one Maine mom to another.

id get urself an attorney fast if she got marks on her...thats awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GO TO COURT

I think you should talk to your husband about the injuries. Ask him to address it with whoever is in charge of the nursery. Anytime you have kids in a childcare type setting (or even the early years of school) bites and bruises can happen from other kids. Even though religion is not a big part of your life it is part of your husbands and you should have respect for that. At the same time I understand about being concerned for her safety.

I belive you don't have to go to church to be a good person although I believe in god. but if she is just being droped off at the nursery she is not even understanding the meaning of church. and if she has bite marks and bruises she is not well watched so its a bad experience for her. I think you should do what you need to do to keep her safe and not confused.

you absolutely have the right to request that he not take her because she DOES come home with the bite marks and bruises. You can ask him to either him her with him or not go to church at all when shes with him.