Should I Let My Child Continue at Childcare After Payment Dispute?

Updated on November 02, 2015
J.F. asks from Greensboro, NC
12 answers

My childcare provider which is a friend of a friend's decides out of nowhere owed her a large sum of money. My child's father and I went to sit down to go over her receipts and in doing so we found I had over paid her by $100. She went in a tangent about we need to part ways but my child's father said they talked and everything was fine... am I wrong to feel uncomfortable with her keeping him at this point? What do I do?

To clarify the overpayment my son was sick one week he didn't go the next week he was only there the last two days of the week so the following Monday I paid extra and the week after that I paid extra to catch up. She says the extra doesn't pay for the first two weeks for some odd reason. Otherwise I have always been on time paying her. She has been going through some hard times lately she had mentioned that before but she insisted the first two weeks of the month are still not paid is her issue. Thank you all for your answers!!

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answers from Boston on

Because she went on a tangent about parting ways you need to part ways. Even if your child's father talked her into having your child stay in her care you still need to part ways. If you ran into one problem I'm sure you'll run into more down the road. She's not a good fit for your family.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

If your provider is saying you need to leave - then I'd consider that a sign that I need to find another sitter asap.
That your baby's dad smoothed things over for now doesn't mean the issue(s) will stay smoothed over.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I agree with moms below.
If you I feel uncomfortable then there is your sign. Trust your gut.That's your mommy instinct. Pay attention to it and don't let anyone let you be talked out of it including daddy.
To me this and the other question you posted which I also answered make it sound like the much bigger issue is that the no clear communication going on between you and the dad. Everything will be difficult in raising this child until you come to an agreement in how things will be handled.
As for the sitter it doesn't make a whole lot of sense but at the very least she sounds a bit funny and unstable from what you've written here. Also that she doesn't sound like she wants to continue arrangement. If you need clarification speak to her yourself. Good luck :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Without question, I would look elsewhere for childcare.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Indianapolis on

If she suggested that you look elsewhere than I would. At this point I wouldn't trust her at all.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't think twice, I would be moving my child to a more stable daycare.

Just curious - how do you overpay or underpay? When my youngest was in daycare money was due when we walked in the door every Monday. I paid her biweekly, so every other Monday. If I didn't pay, he couldn't go. And there was no overpaying because I wasn't going to pay her for more than what I owed at a time...there was no room for confusion.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia!

I was an Assistant Director at Kindercare for a few years. Tuition was due every Monday. If you paid in advance? We gave a 10% credit.

You need to pay by check, money order or cashiers checks so there is a paper trail. NO CASH TRANSACTIONS unless she is giving you a receipt of payment.

Since this is going on? I would NOT want my child there. Period. I would be looking for new opportunities for my child RIGHT NOW.

Her financial hard times are NOT your responsibility. If you have your records, your contract on what you paid her and that you are current and she says otherwise? No. My kids won't be there.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

weird that the money is so off
if the provider said to part ways then it's time, she is telling you she is done with your family and it's time for you to find a different place

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

You're not comfortable, and the provider wants you to part ways. Then it's a done deal.

I'm not sure how you overpaid, unless your child's father is paying some of it and you aren't aware of those payments. But if she went off on a tangent, she's not focused enough to provide care or she's deflecting your attention from other irregularities. She said you owed money, but in fact she owes you money? She's either unethical or she's disorganized. Either way, red flags.

Is this "friend of a friend" licensed to provide child care? If not, get out anyway (regardless of your feelings) and find a neutral provider where there are more standards.

From your other post, it seems that your son's father isn't particularly sensitive to your feelings. I hope you find enough backbone to do what you think is best for your child and stop being pushed around or influenced by what others think you should do.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Find someone else. I wouldn't trust anyone who told me I owed them money, and it turns out that you overpaid, and they STILL say you owe them money. Her hard times don't mean that she gets to shake you down for money, ignoring reality.

Do you know how to do an Excel program? Sit down and put the payments down on an excel program, or get a friend to help you, so that there is no question that you are right. Do it now. If she still insists that you owe her money, find someone else ASAP.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I guess I don't have enough information. If they were missing a receipt and thought you were not paying right then it's a simple mistake. One that could have been taken care of by either of you.

Plus, the business end of child care has little to do with the care your child receives. If they are caring for your child in a way that you like then this isn't anything I would hold against them.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

I don't know, but she sounds unstable. First she says you owe suddenly and then in a tangent and then says everything is fine. Which one is it. Did they work things out, if so why weren't you aware of it. You aren't wrong to feel uncomfortable. You need to talk to her and see if everything really is fine. If you don't feel right about it or she seems not quite on the up and up, take him out and find someone you can trust, even if it means having him stay with a friend or relative till you can find the "right" person. You don't know that she is going to take her frustration out on your child or not.

1 mom found this helpful
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