Sex After the Baby

This too shall pass. New babies are exhausting and, if you are nursing, even more exhausting physically, because making milk is work for the body.

Try to look at it this way: this has nothing to do with how attractive you are. A low libido may be your body's way of saying "boy, I do not want to get pregnant right now!"

I can't tell you how to feel about yourself, but I'll tell you what helped me. Taking walks with Kiddo in a front pack (good exercise) to just get out of the house. Eating well and making sure to get in a balanced diet of proteins, good grains and fresh fruits and vegetables. Drinking tons, and I mean tons, of water (no soda, no caffeine... so that way I could nap with my son, or at least not have my appetite suppressed or feel irritable).

Your husband is tired too. Don't take this personally. This is a huge change in one's life, and if this is baby #2 or 3, even more so. Life shifts quite a bit with baby #1, but I did find as a nanny that it was Baby #2 that made the parents look like deer caught in the headlights.

Rest, be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that this is temporary.:)

You didn't mention how long it's been since you had your baby, but it does take time to start to feel like your old self again- often not until you start getting a decent amount of sleep each night. Then you can start taking care of yourself again, and will start to feel sexy again. Hang in there, it won't be like this forever :)
Also wondering... could you have post-partum depression? If you think you might, talk to your OBGYN- they see it all the time, and can give you medication that will help. I had it, and medication makes a big difference!

Its hard now, but it will get better. You just have to take it one step at a time, and one day at a time. As for losing weight, bundle up the baby and put them in a baby carrier on your chest and go for a walk. It will do you and the baby both good to get some fresh air and exercise, and enjoy the scenery. Before you know it you will be losing weight. You have to make a little time for yourself every day or else your just going to crash. When the baby is napping, you nap. Then you will feel more rested. Dont feel like you have to get everything done all the time. Not going to be the end of the world if you dont do laundry for a day or so. No biggie, just take it easy and relax. And once you start doing that, getting some exercise, and extra sleep from the naps, start drinking more water, and vitamins, then you will start to feel more energy and better about yourself, and then comes the sex. You just have to make time for that too. Make yourself a schedule and give yourself a break :)

I feel like my daughter sucks the life out of me. I have ZERO time for myself. Now that she naps a little better I find it somewhat easier, but I can honestly say sex is very rare. My daughter is 8 months and I can probably count on 2 hands how many times we've had sex since she was born. My husband usually leaves for work anywhere from 6-9am and gets home around 7pm... sometimes later, rarely earlier. (he works on a tv show)

It's easy to feel unattractive when this happens, but i'm seeing it does pass and it does get better. I used to get so depressed thinking he didn't find me attractive anymore or that he was bored with me... truth is... we're just tired.

Yes, taking care of a new baby is a life changing experience. And it can be overwhelming and exhausting. After being up all night and day, sex is the last thing on our minds. But as the baby get older, he will be easier to take care of and you will have more time for yourself. He will sleep longer at night, take a few naps during the day and there will be plenty of time for rest and sex. The baby weight is not just going to immediately fall off. Some people are lucky and it do, but for most people it dont. If a diet is neccessary, you will have time to plan and follow a diet when the baby get older. You will have worked out a schedule by then.

Having a baby is a huge change!
1. Don't look in the mirror.
2. Take a shower every day and get dressed first thing in the morning. Being a mother is a full time profession - get dressed as if you were going to work - ie, take your job seriously. It's okay for the baby to cry for a few minutes while you take a shower - don't bring her in the bathroom with you just to torture yourself - she is safe in her crib.