Seven-year-old Still Wetting His Pants

I would have his doctor check him out. He's a little too old for these kind of accidents. One of my daughters has an enlarged bladder and renal reflux. She has trouble to this day (she's 16) getting the signal that she needs to go to the bathroom. And, often she can't just take a "maintenance pee" like most people do - you know - go even if you don't feel like you need to just because you won't have the chance for the next few hours. (To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if she physically couldn't or mentally couldn't!) For most of her childhood, she simply was unable to pee until her bladder was really full. Now in her teen years, she is more able to do this. But she had accidents in public several times over age 10!

She was what the doctor called an infrequent voider - someone who pees only twice a day. She was about your son's age and what I did to encourage her to go 5 times a day was to make colorful numbers and put a magnet on the back of them. Every time she peed, she got to put one on the refrigerator. She liked doing it. Oh, and the numbers had her name on them. It was just a silly little reward system that worked for a while.

Whether or not your son has some medical problem causing him not to realize he needs to go, finding a way to reward him for going to the bathroom before he has an accident could help prevent them. Maybe you buy him a watch that has an alarm and set it for two hours. When it beeps, he has to go to the bathroom, no matter what he's doing. When he comes to you, with dry pants, to reset his alarm, he gets some kind of reward. That will be fun and novel for a while. And it may get him used to the feeling of having dry pants.

Also - strong word of advice - if you take him to a urologist, go to a PEDIATRIC urologist. That's very important. Urologists are used to dealing with grown men, not children. Cardinal Glennon has a good team of pediatric urologists. My daughter doesn't need to go there anymore so I don't have a current name for you. But they have a good pediatric urology department.

Have you discussed this with your child's doctor? My mother experienced this with one of my sister's. She thought it was entirely just my sister not taking time out. It wasn't the case at all!

What actually was happening was that my sister didn't get that "urge" to go, to know that she had to. I do not know what the official diagnosis was, but they had to do an outpatient surgery where they went in and stretched her bladder. She was put on some medication for a little while and then she had to re-train her bladder. It took a little while, but it worked. She was cured of the problem.

That certainly is NOT saying that your son has a medical problem, but I strongly encourage you to explore that as a possibility sooner rather than later. A doctor will know what questions to ask and then would know what tests to perform just to make sure.

Good Luck!

T., I have 3 boys 13, 11 & 9. My 11 year old did the same thing at that age except it was poop....he never wanted to take the time to go so he would poop in his pants. I feel your frustration! He eventually got over it and doesn't do it anymore. It possibly could be the same stage. I would talk to your peditrician though and make sure it isn't something else. Hope this helps a little :-)

We had an issue with that too. Same thing, fine unless they were playing and he didn't want to leave and miss anything so he just ignored it until it was to late. I also thought it was an attention play at the time. My son loves money so we started throwing change in a jar and everyday that he had no accidents he could get 1 piece out for one day dry, 2 pieces for 2 days in a row dry and so on. My son was same age as yours, possibly that will work as a type of incentive, plus he gets extra attention for "good job" instead of "why again" moments. hope it helps you

If it is a problem with his just not wanting to stop playtime. How about rewarding a dry week with something small that he would really look forward to (ice cream or a small toy), don't make it too hard for you to reward him, I'm sure you know something that will work. Then maybe it will come naturally.

My granddaughter had same symptoms and has grown out of them at age 9. We stopped her from eating and drinking after 6 or 7 pm and made sure she had plenty of water to drink during day, more fruite and vegetable intake. Doctor said her bladder needed inflating by drinking plenty of water and minimal juices and no soda. Be incouraged to put up with the discipline of self and anyone who helps in caregiving of your child. I DEFINITLY AGREE ABOUT THE DOCTORS VISIT

I have a daughter the same age as your son with the exact same problem. About 18 mos. ago her pediatrician referred us to a urologist, they checked her bladder function and had me chart her for 6 weeks. Everything appears to be normal with her bladder, the problem is that she's a holder. She does not like to stop playing to go, and when she holds it too long the bladder builds up into an "angry muscle" (as the doctor called it). As a result, when she finally does go to the bathroom, her bladder doesn't let it all go. And so it comes out gradually in little accidents later in the day. And when she has obvious accidents (big wet spot on her pants), if I ask her about it she plays dumb. Your son's situation could be similar. To retrain the bladder we put her on a schedule of going after every meal and at least once in between meals. Also she is to sit on the toilet for at least a minute to make sure it all comes out, there are some breathing exercises that help as well. The bottome line is it works when she sticks to the schedule. It's getting her to stick to the schedule that's the hard part! I am still working on that one. I have made a weekly chart that she puts a sticker on for every time she goes. She did great for one week, and she got a reward at the end of that week. The next week she lasted about 2 days! At this point I have left it in her hands, I will ask her every now and then how she is doing just to keep her reminded to stay on top of it. She has gotten better, but I think the motivation and desire needs to come from her. So I have given her the tools and it's totally up to her to use them. My biggest fear is that her friends will catch on and start making fun of her, maybe that will be the motivation she needs. I have learned that me constantly asking and telling her to go have demotivated her in a way. So for your son, I would try the schedule with the chart and reward and see how he does. I do think it is a good idea to have your pediatrician check him out first, that is where I started. Good luck and remember to be patient, I know how frustrating it is - I'm still frustrated, but I now keep it to myself!

Have your son checked out by a Urologist, I have seen children his age that have a bladder condition, or sometimes an extra covering on the bladder that does not allow them to feel full and the urge to go, IT just happens, comes out and they do not realize till wet.

Hi, T.. I would highly recommend speaking with his doctor. He may have a bladder infection or something medically causing him to have this problem. I know of a little girl who had this problem and they said to have her stop and start when she was going potty. That starting and stopping practice strengthens the muscle. I would have him start doing his laundry himself if it is a control issue, but only after you are sure there is nothing causing it. I would think it would be embarrassing enough for him that the kids at daycare know. He may need to be taken to the bathroom and told to try every hour or two for a while until it gets better. If it has been occuring for a long time, then he may just have an immature bladder and it will have to develop on its own. Check with the doctor for their recommendations. Good Luck!