Need Help with Potty Training Regression!

I know it's frustrating, but don't let her see that you get mad at her. If she really does have a UTI or diabetes and can't control herself, it just makes her feel worse. If she's doing it for the attention, she's getting the payoff.

You could set a timer and every time it goes off, she needs to try to go potty - don't ask if she needs to, she HAS to go and try. And you may need to do pull-ups at bedtime and nap time. My oldest wet their bed until they were 9 years old. Hang in there!

My 4 year old regressed recently as well. He was too busy playing and would wait too long to go, so after talking it thru with him, I started taking away what he was playing with or something else important to him that he could earn back by staying dry. It only took a couple days to get back on track. Good luck--that is so frustrating!

Hi R.,
My daughter is 5 1/2 and she went through this too. It started when she was 4 and her little brother was about 3 months old. She started having small accidents every few days and then it increased over a few months. I thought it was behavioral and related to her brother being around and her getting less attention. Well, about 5 months after it started, she came down with a 105˚ fever and was extremely ill. We took her to the doc and they did all kinds of tests and sent her in for blood work. She peed her pants 3 times that day and we found out she had a bad UTI. Talk about mother's guilt! I got angry with her for her accidents and was very frustrated as well. Well, after going through all that and getting her on antibiotics to clear it up, she got another one, same fever and everything about a month later. And again a month after that. I think she had about 5 of them and then we put her on a maintenance dose for 6 months which she just ended. She also had to be tested for urinary reflux which is not fun at all.

Anyway, long story short, she never really complained about her pee burning or having pain related to peeing except for a couple of times, but she didn't cry or seem too bothered so I didn't think much of it. Also, when she had the fever her low back would hurt in her kidney area.

To get her over this I have had to make her pee every 2 hours (which sucks, I know, especially when you have 3 other kids), but it's better than the alternative! She's pretty well used to it now and doesn't fight me as much as she used to.

I hope this helps. Oh yeah, my daughter used to hold her pee forever before all of this started and never had nighttime accidents. She would wake up in the morning and not go for a couple of hours! That is the problem. When they hold it for too long it makes the walls of the bladder thicker (or something) and makes it so they can't get all of the urine out which becomes dirty causing the infections. That is why I have to make her go every 2 hrs and make sure she lets it all out without holding back so it will retrain the bladder.

Sorry this was so long! Good luck!
S.

Just in case I would make sure she doesn't have an UTI.

My daughter is doing this right now too. I did take her to the doctor and had some tests done. She was okay, but he did say that if they are having accidents at night when they previously were not, it's more likely to be something physiological. I still don't know why my daughter is doing it, but the only thing that has worked for us is taking away things that matter...toys, certain clothing items, and princess panties. If she stays dry, she earns them back. Unfortunately, as soon as she gets everything that matters back, the accidents start up again. It's definitely not a physical problem for her. I've recently started holding her responbile for cleaning up herself and the mess, and changing her own clothes. The least amount of attention we give her about it, the better she does. Since your daughter is wet at night too, I'd definitely have her checked out for UTI, diabetes, and kidney reflux. Better to be safe than sorry.

Hi R.,

I have a four and a half year old girl who did the same thing - I guess it happens a lot when you add new siblings. I used to try to keep my cool too, but when she was in the fourth pair of pants in one day, it's hard to stay calm. Here's what I did. It's kind of a pain in the BUTT, but it worked for us. Make a little chart and hang it up by the potty. Let your daughter pick out the stickers she wants to use. Write on the chart different times of day: after she wakes up, before school, after school, before lunch, after lunch, etc. You make the call for how frequently. We started out with lots of designated 'potty times', then relaxed a little once things started going well again. For every time on the chart, she must sit on the potty and try. She can put one type of sticker for just trying, one for actually going. That way you can sort of keep track of when she usually has to go and drop extra potty times accordingly. This gives her the attention she is craving and rewards her for going with the fun sticker chart.

Hang in there and good luck!

T.

My daughter finished potty training late. When she was 3, and we were using panties like you, I finally made the decision to put her back in diapers and wait. I knew that eventually all healthy kids potty train. I would rather change a diaper than clean up pee off the carpet, etc. So, the first time I changed her diaper after making the switch she asked, "You're not going to yell at me?" This broke my heart! I was furious, and rightly so, for the frustration potty training can cause, but needed to be a happy mom for her, so I just backed off. Best decision I ever made! :-)

Have her checked for a bladder infection. My daughter has a long history of bladder infections and her only symptom is loss of bladder control. She never has pain or a fever. When you go in to the doctor make sure they culture the sample and not just do a urinalysis (they will do the urinalysis too). Also,just to rule out diabetes, give your daughter some juice about a half hour before your appointment. The urinalysis will detect any sugar in her urine if its there.

Is she in preschool? My sister had the same problem. Her daughter one day decided she no longer wanted to be potty trained and she went back into diapers. What my sister did was sign her up for preschool since that is what she wanted to do since her brother was having soo much fun in school. Then My sister told her that in order to go to school she needed to be a big girl and go in the potty. Within a few months she no longer needed diapers and now she is in school and loving it. Potty training just has to stay positive and it needs to be their choice.

Before getting angry again I would take her to see the pediatrician because she may have bladder issues. It is better to know for sure. Maybe put on pull-ups for sleeping. I always swore I would never do it myself but I have a few friends that have had no choice but to do this with their daughters. I would do it if I had too and I just might have to because I have a 4 1/2 yr old boy who is still refusing to potty train no matter what I do!!!

I'd do diapers at night and help make sure she goes potty often during the day.

Everyone's potty trained eventually. It's nice when it's sooner, but what's 6 months in the long run....

It would be wise for you to take your daughter to a pediatric urologist. She could be wetting because she has a bladder infection, or there is something physiologically wrong. If there is something physiologically wrong, your pediatric urologist will know how to diagnose & treat the problem.

Also, don't ask your daughter if she needs to go to the bathroom. Instead, have her sit on the toilet every 2 hours throughout the day whether she needs to go or not. This will help ensure that she is emptying her bladder. There are some wonderful pediatric urologists at Primary Children's Medical Center who can help you through this problem. It's worth it to try. Good luck!

Training pants at night and schedualed potty times durring the day-

I have my son sit on the potty every hour to two hours for five minutes- If he doesn't want to take the time to go potty we decided to make him take the time. He puts up a little fuse and then gives in. - The training pants are a little more expensive but it will save you the time in washing sheets and once you get her back to using the potty good, which with schedualed potting could be quickly, she may be able to get through the naps and night dry again. If you have any left over-you still have little ones that you can use them for.

I am not a training pants advacate, but I am in a similar situation with my son, but it is with the pooping.... and fighting with my son as much as I was and the instant anger/rage wasn't worth it on my end. We are now back in big boy undies and schedualing more potty time... A clock set for every schedualed potty time helps you and your child to remember...

Have you had her checked out for any type of physical ailment. Both of my daughters had kidney reflux, where urine goes back up the tubes to the kidneys and can cause some pretty dramatic results. Any type of bladder problem, even minor; can contribute to accidents. There can also be psy chological reasons. My oldest daughter used to regress and had accidents after each visit with her father. The stress that came from leaving me and the environment being so different all factored in, and the accidents were the physical manifestation of her insecurity. If your daughter is having UTI's or Bladder infections that can make a difference. Also, You can actually cause things to be worse if you limit her liquid intake too much, It is actually better to make sure she is well hydrated throughout the day, and limit her intake near bedtime. For example, my kids have nothing to drink after 6pm. Another thing is that if there are any constipation issues, that can contribute to wetting accidents. Something else may be that she is sleeping to deeply, which is great; but perhaps you need to wake her at times through the night. My younger daughter seemed to have her accidents shortly before waking up. We discovered that she would start to be conscious and have to go the bathroom before she was completely awake. So when she napped, we watched for her to stir, and would get her to the bathroom. Often I could do it by carrying her and putting her on the potty, and I could get her back to sleep for a while afterward. Some children just have a wetting problem and you may just wan t to invest in some good nights, or pullups. I have to do that with my 7 yr old. But she knows that those are only for accidents. We have had many discussions about her still needing to go pee when she notices it and not just using the pullup because it is there. Sorry this message is so long, but I hope I have given you some ideas. Good luck with everything, and hang in there!

R.,
I think the first thing you need to do is not ask. Every 2 -3 hours you need to make her sit on the potty and try to pee. Most of the time she will go. I am having the same issue my 2 1/2 yo son is going to the potty regularly at daycare and will be dry in his underware all day long. But at home we can't make it through breakfast. When I ask if he needs to pee the answer is always "NO". I have stopped asking and started to tell him it is time to sit on the potty. This has really helped he still hasn't stayed dry all day but most of the time we can make it through lunch.

Full time working mother of 2 wonderfull children a 21/2 yo son and a 1 yo daughter.

I would have her sit on the toilet every hour and try to go. Have a timer, that goes off. Tell her that when she stops having accidents and you can trust her to go on her own then you will stop the timer thing.

At night, I would wake her up at least once to try to go to the bathroom. If she get used to waking up and going the problem might be stop.

The problem might be attention as well. Even if it is anger some kids like attention. Perhaps, a story just for her at nap time and bed time. It doesn't have to be a long one just something to say she is special. The timer, telling her to go every hour and waking her up to go will be giving her attention.

I can image you are very busy, maybe she just wants a little of your time to herself. Just a thought, no judgement.

This happens more than most know. The little one sees the new baby as getting more love and attention and wants to be the same. My mom told me when my older brother was a year, he was potty trained then my other older brother came along and now she had 2 babies. Both brothers were again potty trained, then I came along 14 months later and she now had 3 babies. This is more common with closer aged babies. Your older child will train again soon and things will be fine. Each child has to have the one on one with both you and your husband.

The little sweety just got all confused. A lot has happened in her life recently. This happened with a girl I used to babysit years ago. What worked for me was taking the control of toileting away from her. We went back to the routine that we used in the beginning of training. I set the schedule for when she went to the bathroom, which was about every 20-30 minutes all day. She would get so frustrated with me, but I repeated to her everytime, that when her body remembers how to only go in the potty then she could be in control again. We also had talks about listening to her body even when she's asleep. She is a little young for this one but it will kick in sooner than you know. The idea is to help her know that when she starts to toss and turn at night and get all uncomfortable it is her body telling her that she needs to go to the bathroom. And if she wakes up in the night take her to the bathroom, no question, even if she says she doesn't have to go or if she just went 30 minutes ago. Those things worked well with my own daughters.
I hope you find something that works for you and your daughter. There are certainly few things as frustrating as cleaning up toileting accidents all day.

As a mother of four I can let you know this is common. The new arrival is a big change in the house and children tend to show their inability to handle changes as well as adults through behaviors such as wetting themselves. I would put her in pullups while sleeping. I would take note of the fact that there is more going on in your house and the focus is not her as much. I would have her sit on the toilet more often, not just ask. Before starting anything that will take any amount of time have her go to the toilet so it doesn't interupt your activities. You may also point out the fact that being a big sister is a wonderful thing and such a big help to you. Let her know that she needs to get her accidents under control so she can teach her little sister how to be a big girl when she gets a bit older. Include her into the situation as a big girl. Good Luck!!!

It sounds like she is feeling a little bit out of control in her life and potty is a great way to get your attention and her mommy back to her instead of baby. My older daughter did this, my younger daughter did this. I didn't sweat it. She will eventually be potty trained and life will be good! She probably feels just as bad as you do, ease the stress for both of you and let her wear pullups. She will let you know once she is feeling more secure that she doesn't need them. I would forget that being 3 and 4 really isn't that old and they need to be babied too! Good luck!

Make sure she does not have a chronic bladder infection. My 4 yr old daughter had one, but I just thought she was regressing for whatever reason and finally after several months of nighttime wetting and frustration she had terrible abdominal pain one night and we went to the ER and they diagnosed bladder infection, or UTI (urinary tract infection.) I felt terrible I hadn't noticed it before, but she didn't ever complain of burning when she peed or anything. Anyway, it wouldn't hurt to check it out. Good luck.

Okay, I posted the same question on here a couple of weeks ago. I took her to the pediatrician and he said she is having bladder spasms - the accidents are catching her by surprise too and she just can't react fast enough. She has started medication to help relax her bladder so she can be in control. It's only been about five days but it seems to be helping.

I can't stress this enough - this can totally effect their self-esteem and this is not a discipline issue! Do not shame her or make her feel bad about herself. My daughter's peditrician says that only VERY rarely is regression on potty training by their choice, and usually then there are other out of control behavior issues giong on as well. Love your daughter and know that she wishes to stay dry too and she wants to make you happy. Help her know she is a good girl and that she is doing a good job trying to be big. And take her to the dr. and get her checked.

i have the same problem. she is child number 5 and i am prego with number 7. she was completely trained also and waits to long during the day and pees her pants but she always makes it in the bathroom thankfully. she wets the bed every night and about half bought her naps. finally, i bought pull ups after washing every blanket we own and she wakes up dry every night. strange???

Go with it. Make it her decission. I tried to push mine at that age (had her baby brother so regressed too). So I would say: make it into a choice. You either take yourself potty or you go in this tiny tiny, uncomfortable diaper. I think the more you are like, hey, I could careless either way, the more they choose to be grown up and independent. the more you resist and fight about it, the more she will resist and want to be a "baby" again. So adopt a "you decide tactic" and have it very easy for her to get at her underpants (like a drawer or box in the bathroom) and I bet she will decide to be dry.

Get her a watch that has an alarm that can go off every two hours or so and when the watch beeps, she has to go to the bathroom. Then reward her when she does. She needs to be responsible for it herself and this is a good way to teach her. Not only because potty training can be a huge power struggle and kids sometimes rebel when they feel out of control, but she needs to be in tune with her own body because only she can tell when she has to go or not. If you live in the Denver area, I can give you the number to a pediatric urologist that uses this program and has the watches.

Regression happens to the best of them. My main frustration with my oldest was that it took over 18 months to get her trained to the point that I can take her places without worrying too much. She'd do good, then regress, do good, then regress. This last time, it was due to the new baby. In a lot of ways, she just needs attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. Negative attention is still attention. Our pediatrician told me not to let potty training be a negative experience. When she regressed last time, I just put her back in diapers. She was as stressed as I was, and getting mad would have just added to that stress. She did the diaper thing for a few months, then I totally restarted the process. I know it sucks to go back to that, but it's SO worth it to preserve some really hurt feelings. My daughter is the same age. She never has to go if I ask her. But if I tell her that she just needs to sit on the potty and she doesn't have to go, she knows I mean it. And usually, she goes. It will get better, just remember that she has fewer outlets to express her frustration with any changes in her life. Regression is totally natural for these little ones. Try to be patient. Good luck!

My niece did this and my sister-in-law was so frustrated so she finally put her back in diapers and just forgot about trying to make her use the potty. A few months later her daughter came to her and told her she wanted to use the potty again and she's been potty trained ever since without an accident. My advice is to just go back to diapers (or pull-ups) until she decides she wants to use the potty again. Getting angry at her is giving her attention - albeit negative attention - and I'm sure that's why she'd doing it. She needs to decide for herself to use the potty. Forcing it is only making matters worse.

Hi R., I ran a day care for a few years!! I've seen this behavior! What i use to do is give my little ones XXXX_TRA Hugs and kisses and reassure them they are loved they are lashing out at something and most of the time it's lack of attetion. And then I woud reward them after potty,with NERDS Candy. And Then I would tell them if you dont potty during nap time, I will have a special suprise!! Which was always their favorite snack. I Hope this helps. K.