Ladies I have asked my husband for a separtion. I feel bad because he doesn't have a job but he never has a job. My son is young so I think it is better for everyone now to make a clean break. There are other issues like communication, other people outside the marriage and etc.
My biggest problem besides breaking up the family is what do we do with our house. He said he could give me $1000 month but that would make everything still really tight for me paying the mortgage and other household bills (which makes me think what was he going to do anyway about the mortgage!!). Should I walk away from the house, try to sell it, or maybe rent it? We live in southwest suburbs and have a decent home but I know I can't afford it by myself and $1,000 isn't going to last long. Any help would be wonderful. And yes I have prayed and about and I think it is what is best for everyone.
Well let me say my husband does get contract jobs but then he gets laid off and gets depressed. I have tried to encourage him but nothing has helped. It has been like this since we got married. We have gone to see a counsler but at this point in time, I'm tired of trying and just want to be happy. I think renting the house is the best probably the best option right now and moving some where I can afford. If we get back together, we will still have our house. If not then we will conquer that when we get there. Thanks ladies for all your advice!!!!
Lawyer.
That said... If you want to keep the asset, and can't afford the mortgage, lease it.
If you sell it, your husband is entitled to half UNLESS in a division of assets you 'get' the house free and clear, but that requires lawyers, quit claim deeds, etc.
So I'll say it again... Lawyer
Sell the house and get a place you can afford. Make a home for you and your son on what you can do yourself. Any money he gives you can be used for extras, but don't count on it for basics.
If he doesn't have a job then how in the world can he give you $1,000 per month?! Is he printing money down in his basement?
Sorry, but that just doesn't make sense, and it sounds fishy :(
Go to court, get everything documented, in WRITING, make it official and legal. That's MY best advice. Don't mess around, especially when it comes to child support and custody.
I moved out to an apartment I could afford. I left my unemployed ex with the house. He quickly got a job.
If he doesn't work then he doesn't have $1000 per month. That is fact. He will not give the money. I would say you need to file separation papers and get full custody, then go for child support. He needs to help support his son. If he is not working then they will set minimum wage child support on him. It is less than $200 per month.
If he has a huge income on his tax papers though they will assign him more.
So, even if he is not working they will assign him some, not near as much as you need for your living expenses.
You both need to decide what it is you want out of this separation. Is it time for you both to get used to filing for divorce? Is it time for him to have a wake up call, get on the right track, then perhaps get back to working on your relationship? What is the purpose of the separation?
If it is to eventually file for divorce then you need to think in lines of division of property, he would get half the house sales proceeds. I would not do anything official until you have asked an attorney what legal options you have.
IF
The attorney may tell you that he is half owner and can support or totally block the sale of the property for years.
The attorney may tell you to move away and let him take over the house. You will want you make sure your name is off it so when hubby lets it get repossessed it won't be on your credit score.
An attorney may also tell you exactly what hubby's legal responsibilities are in a legal separation.
There are tons of questions that can come up but an attorney who is knowledgeable of divorce and separation will be your best Ali.
Do NOT expect everything to go your way. You will have to work full time and be able to fully support your children on your own and not be dependent on hubby for anything financial. Or he may be able to get full custody. It is happening more and more nowadays.
I, too, was wondering how he'd give 1k per month if he's not had a job, never has anyway. It seems you're already on your own, just with an extra person in the house to clean up after and feed!! It may be tight but you can probably do it. However if you cannot then move to an apartment or a rental you can afford.
I want to address Jenny's comment below - you shouldn't be snippy - you don't know the situation......what if both AREN'T willing to try to work at it - unless one of them is abused they should stay in an unhappy marriage - that's a good model for the kids.....
Its important to have counseling and legal advice before making any changes. My husband was unemployed for three years so I understand your stress in trying to decide what to do next. Thankfully he eventually did get a job but I have seen neighbors separate over this issue.
