Sentimantal Gifts from Old Boyfriends

I have jewelry from a few boyfriends. I keep the pieces but don't wear them. Maybe my daughter will want to wear them one day. I'm wearing my mom's dinner ring given to her by her first husband. I have no sentimental attachment to my mom's ring, but it's beautiful.
I would certainly not give it back, but if it makes you uncomfortable to wear it, then don't. Put it away. One day you may have use for it.

I'm not sentimental over gifts or anything else from exes. Because they're exes for a reason. If it were a piece of Grandma's jewelry that I'd never wear, I'd keep it in my jewelry box because I loved Grandma. But if it's a ring or necklace from an ex....nope. I'm not keeping a torch lit for their memory. Sell it on Craigslist. Let someone make some new memories with it.

If it were a family heirloom type thing, then sure, give it back to the sister
But WHY... mail it to his sister, now?
I mean, that would be kind of weird.
It has NOTHING to do with his sister. And even if you gave it to the sister, she will tell her brother (your Ex) and/or give it back to him. And then he will wonder WHY... now, this is happening????
Do you see, the soap opera or drama it could create?
It is so, unnecessary.

And if you do send it to the sister, you will be putting her in an AWKWARD position. AND she will tell her Brother, AND if he is now married to some other woman, then it will create a REAL bad awkward situation with his Wife.
Do you see, how too drama filled this will be?
You will be burdening someone else (your Ex and his sister), with something from the PAST. And it is not their responsibility to deal with it. From you.

I have gotten rid of all the things I had from my 1st major serious type boyfriend. It means NOTHING to me. After the fact.
He even handmade some things for me. So what. I tossed it.
There is no reason for me to keep it.

So does your Husband even know, that that necklace is from your Ex?
And if he knows, does it even matter to him?
Or do you keep it a secret that it is from your Ex?

It should not be so complicated.

Just sell it.
If it means nothing to you, then sell it.

Keep it and wear it, and be happy! It's nice and expensive - who cares who gave it to you before you were married? Everyone has a past. You should not feel weird wearing it! Wear it and enjoy your nice piece of jewelry!

If you feel weird about wearing it - or if your husband feels weird about your wearing it - it's time to pass it on.

Not to boyfriend's sister, though. If it's been years, boyfriend may be married, and his wife may not appreciate this old gift coming back into the family.

I suggest that you donate it to an organization that could get money out of it.

Frankly, I have a mostly scorched-earth policy with most things or correspondence from old boyfriends.When we're done, we're done. Nearly everything my ex-husband gave me was donated to a local sort of 'free box' at the hippie co-op; I didn't want the memories and other people got to have some really nice things; gave the cds to musician friends. I left my wedding band out in the woods somewhere in Forest Park with a letter I never sent to him; this was for my closure only.

I think Mary's suggestion of donating it would be appropriate for the reason she cited.

The only thing I have left from any previous relationships is a set of mixing bowls, and I do think of the guy from time to time, but there are no unresolved or nostalgic feelings. Just "smart guy, he gave me something I could use".

How long have you been married? How long has it been sinse you were actually in a relationship with the Jewelry boyfriend? It honestly sounds like you still have feelings for this boyfriend. Those of us that are married, we do not associate this much feeling to anything to to do with old boyfriends.

Sure, we may hear a song and recall a time or an experience, but we quickly remember the good reason we are with our spouses. We may come across a trinket and recall all that went along with receiving it etc. But honestly, I have either given away those things, thrown them away, or I have some odds and ends packed away with other childhood memories and when I come across them, I laugh that I still have those things and lesson learned! I actually have shown our daughter those things and she just shook her head. My mom even has some old notes and trinkets from WAY, WAY back in the day. I love to look at them and ask her to tell me the funny stories about those "old guys".,

"I would never sell it."

" have only worn it a few times while married to my current husband and feel weird when I do."

" I was thinking of mailing the necklace to his sister"

3 questions for you. Why? Why? Why?

Why not sell it? You do not feel like you can wear it.

If you honestly feel weird about wearing it? Then you need to figure out why you still have ANY feelings about him and you need to decide how to get past that.

Why on earth give it to his sister? To be honest, that sounds like you are trying to somehow have contact with him by using his sister.

Sell the piece of Jewelry and then either donate the money or consider if you may want speak with a professional about what is REALLY going on here.

It was a gift.
Don't read anything more into it.
If you like it, wear it.
If you don't like it, sell it at a pawn shop.

I have kept my things. I haven't told my husband who bought them. Not keeping secrets; it's just nothing to report. If it comes up, I'll tell him; it just feels weird to think about settign aside time to tell him that.

He was married for a long time before me, so I accept that some of his stuff was bought by her and that she's even worn some of the shirts and sweaters that I wear. We don't discuss it.

If it makes you feel that uncomfortable, maybe you should put it up for a while, just give yourself a break from it. Take it back out when you're ready. Unless your ex is dead and having the jewelry would mean a lot to his sister, I wouldn't bother her with it.

I recently offered to give my ex his watch back, only because it was his favorite back then and I don't wear it.

I'd keep it , and wear it occasionally when it matched my outfit. LOL - it's a peice of jewelry. Unless it makes you miss him when you wear it.

Why does it make you feel weird? I have a nice necklace from an old boyfriend and I did wear it for a long time just bc I liked it. I'm completely and totally over that boyfriend so it's just a necklace I think is pretty. I'll likely give it to one of my daughters to wear someday. I did think I was going to marry this guy and it was a meaningful necklace at one point but it was so long ago that now it just doesn't matter. Is that how you feel about this ex? I do have another ex I felt even more strongly about that if he'd given me a nice piece of jewelry, of course he didn't bc he was SO cheap, maybe I'd feel a little funny. But even then I don't think I would. He doesn't matter anymore either. So I really think wearing it or not depends on how you feel about the person and how long ago it was. If it's nice and you like it and have zero feelings, don't feel funny. Wear it. It's from an old friend. Who cares? But if it's a bit raw or it makes you think of him in a way that your husband wouldn't like, then just sell or donate it. I wouldn't bother sending it to his sister... Too weird.

I had a ring (not engagement) from a former BF. My now hubby didn't like me wearing it, which I totally understood. So I took it to a jeweler & had the stone reset in something my husband picked out.

This might be an option, or if no stones, having it melted & recast? T.

This was before you married. It has nothing to do with your husband. I can't actually understand why you feel weird wearing it, but your feelings are your feelings.

I would NOT give your husband power over you in asking him about whether you should keep this necklace. This is YOUR decision and if you give this over to him, he may think that other issues are his choice too, and you may wish you hadn't given him that kind of idea.

I would only give this necklace to the sister if you actually know her. And I'd call her first and talk about it with her. I would NOT talk to her brother...

Are you friends with the sister? If not, then I wouldn't send it to her. I wouldn't feel very loyal to my brother if I kept something he had given a former girlfriend.

Why won't you sell it? Personally, I would sell it and then donate the money.

If it makes you (or your husband) uncomfortable, then I would get rid of it. You could sell it and donate the money to a women's shelter if you would feel awkward about sending it to ex's sister, and don't want to 'make' money off it.

I like the idea of having it melted down and recast, if doing so would change the meaning it holds for you.

I still have a necklace my first love gave me. :) I never wear it (because it's pretty hideous. Lol.) but it holds only fond memories for me. Our relationship ended well, and we remained friendly acquaintances for years. I am not the least bit interested in him any more, but it is a nice memento from the past and lives in my memory box.

I would see about bringing it to a jewelry shop and trading it in for something else. A friend of mine had a platinum wedding band from a previous marriage and he was able to get a good deal on another piece of jewelry in exchange for it.

I think it would be weird to send it to the sister. It was a gift to YOU, you are no longer together, why does it hold any meaning at all? Have you never moved on from the relationship, emotionally? I have a shoebox filled with photos, letters, cards and a few small trinkets (including a semiprecious ring) from old friends and a few old boyfriends. These are sweet mementos to me, something I cherish but honestly hardly ever think about.
If you don't like it and if it makes you feel weird just give it away. You can try to sell it but unless it's VERY valuable you're not going to get much.

I still have a couple pieces of jewelry from exes. One piece the ex told me flat out to please keep it, he wanted me to have it. Our whole relationship didn't suck and we actually are friends now all these years later. The other one I didn't feel bad keeping because he had stolen enough from me when we were together that I felt it was a fraction of what he took. I like it.
My husband has no problems at all with me having them or wearing them. I wish the ring still fit me. Sadly it's too small now, other wise I would wear it. I have considered having it remade into something I can wear since it doesn't fit me.
Your husband would be silly to be jealous of you wanting to wear it. That person is a part of your past. There had to have been some good times or you would not have been in the relationship at all. It's not like wearing a piece of jewelry means you are going back to him. All it means is you have a nice piece of jewelry from a person that was once in your life. Nothing more.

I think I'd talk to hubby and ask him what he thinks. I also would think about taking the piece to a jeweler and have it remade into something else.

A pendant or bracelet. Something you and hubby design together?

I wouldn't give it to the old boyfriend's sister. I would take it to a reputable jeweler and have it recrafted into something else, like a ring or pin, or perhaps have it converted into a charm bracelet or something like that. Everything old is new again, especially since you would never sell it.

If I had any jewelry from an ex I would definitely get rid of it and convert it to cash to be used as a final act of at long last making me happy.

None of my breakups ended pleasant. LOL

I still wear mine from time to time. If I was going to mail them to anyone it would be back to the giver, but I could see that causing some hurt feelings possibly.

I received a sweet opal ring from a boyfriend. I still have it. It brings back sweet memories of a first love. Nothing more nothing less. I have worn it but I have never really cared for opals! But I would never give it away again very sweet memories.

I still have jewelry my ex husband gave me. I wear it when it matches my outfit. I don't feel weird in any way about doing so.
He had a couple of beautiful rings that had been given to him by an ex girlfriend. It didn't bother me in the slightest for him to wear them.