My daughter's lost their father and I am looking for some parents who have either gone through this type of loss or any type of loss and how to help my children deal with it better....
I am sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your daughters. We have had many deaths in our family and I received wonderful advice from our elementary school counselor. My girls also were very comfortable talking with her. I also gave them each a blanket and told them when they needed a hug from the person that had passed away to wrap it around them and think of happy memories.
Sincerely,
B. H.
J., you have delt with a loss too, the best way to help your girls is to not hide your grief. get some help fast even if you don't think you need it think about it in relationship to your kids
L.
first thing is always keep positive thoughts, i know it is hard to do since you have spent so much of life with that person as well as your girls. it is important to let your girls get some sort of closure by attending the funeral. one thing i recommend is going to the library and checking out some simple kids books on death. when i lost my mom it was very important for my son to be there, he was her first grandchild. i also bought him a little angel holding a baby and that was his grandma symbol. something he could still hold on to and talk to. encourage your girls to still try to talk to there dad, even though he may not be around physically. also have them look up at the clouds and have them try to find his cloud, remind them that he still watches over them from his cloud. this way it helps the girls to understand the importance of physical loss but never forgotten. keeping memories alive is very important.it seems or even sounds a bit traumatic the whole funeral process, but as long as you approach things in a delicate and more focused on the childs mind frame then things will be okay. if you happen to need any additional advice on this or even someone to just talk to about this you can email me at ____@____.com.
I am so sorry for your daughters' loss. Since you worded it "lost their father" - I am assuming that you 2 were not together and you are not experiencing the same feelings. My son was 10 when daddy passed. There was 10 months of illness, so there was time to prepare for the inevitable. The first year is the hardest. I found it best to make sure that stuff that daddy would do was incorporated into our future plans. Things that daddy liked were celebrated when we started feeling down about things. Special candies, a favorite place to visit at certain times of the year etc. 10 years later we are still doing these things in remebrance. I may not have been close with daddy either - but it is for the kids. As long as daddy was good to them - keep your feelings to yourself.
Dear J.,
I am very sorry to hear for your families lost. When my children were 3 and 5 I lost their baby brother while I was 7 1/2 mos pregnant with him. They both got to see him and it was a very hard time. We then lost their grandma to cancer. My son who at that time was 5 said he hated that people had to go to heaven. Tough, though stuff. We have worked through it by talking about it openly, visiting the cemetary where they are buried often, bringing things to let them know we are thinking of them. I also found a few great books, had them ask me any questions they had and had to explain the whole heart stop beating thing and try not to freak them out.
If you would like to talk further, please e-mnail me.
J.
My daughter passed away in March and my other children were really upset. Their school told me about a program called The Good Mourning Place. It might be worth looking into. Sorry that I don't have any contact info anymore.
You may want to talk to your children's Dr. and see if you can recommend a support group for them. A friend of my lost her mother and her daughter was very close to Nana. She found a support group and it was very very helpful. This was in Ireland, so I don't think the name will help.
Best of Luck.
