Seeking Other Moms with Raging Hormones, or Those Who Have Gone Through It!

You arent crazy! I am your secret twin hormaonal sister. Sunday night I spent about an hour sobbing over the amazing race. monday night was spent arguing over money. tuesday night all i wanted was footrubs, backrubs, hugs, loves, attention (after the arguing the night before mind you)and last night i was in tears again because my hubby didnt answer his cell phone when i needed him. This is also my third child, my husbands first. i have caught him and my kids (12 and 9) making the "cuckoo sign" to each other. some nights i laugh, some i cry. Have i mentioned crying? :) I keep telling myself that this oo shall pass. It has been a long COLD winter and thewinter blues arent helpng. in thelong run it is ALL WORTH IT and we will someday look back and laugh. or cry. :)
GOOD LUCK!

I think your being normal and his response is normal. He doesn't give you what you want at times because he doesn't know. Some men are just simple and don't understand. I personally never asked my husband to get anything at any hour for my cravings. I'd get it myself unless he was on his way to the store or something. As for the onion rings he should have brought home what you wanted and I'd be PO'd for having to go out or you could have let it be and just had none but in either case you could have brought it up and told him you were upset but then he may think you are nagging. It's just an irritant and I know it must be upsetting but will it matter in a week? Don't stress over it and if you want it done right you know now that you just have to do it yourself and he has a flaw that drives you nuts. We all have things about our other that we don't care for. I think your hormones and reaction was normal and normal to get upset. My husband wouldn't go back either and I know he wouldn't offer to go back out because it's not an issue for him which is sad that he wouldn't care enough but I think men are just blind.

My hormones also spiked way out of control and I would cry/yell and so on at a blink of an eye. So it is normal for preggo women to feel that way, but personal that does not mean we get to turn into the center of the world and get whatever we want. So you need to find some calming/relaxing moves to help you through those crazy hormon moments.

The only time I would ask something from hubby is when I did not feel like cooking supper when preggo. I was usually in the mood for fried chicken so he would stop by KFC and pick up a bucket of chicken. He sometimes got the sides I asked for and other time he forgot, that is nothing to get upset over and really you should just let it go. If you have to say something oh did you get the onion rings, and he says no I forgot, then go ok well next time I would prefer onion rings I am not a big fan of these fries. Do some calming moves (breathing deep in and out or whatever works for you).

As for the back/feet and so on rubs just ask, no one is a mind reader, even if you make gestures how are they really suppose to know without us asking. You can say hey my back is killing me could you rub it for awhile, or I have been on my feet all day and could really use a rub.

If you keep 'blaming' the hormones/being preggo on all your requests or outbursts your hubby is going to start thinking negative thoughts about the baby. Women do have to go through A LOT when preggo and the hubby SHOULD try to help out as much as possible to make it easier BUT we should not take advantage of that and it does not give us the right to yell or get angry for things that in the long run don't really matter.

The best thing you can do is to ask for certian things like back rubs, don't expect him to remember everything when going for takeout so write him a list and underline those onion rings.

My husband--a wonderful father, a great husband on the whole--is just not the solicitous sort. He doesn't buy me flowers, he doesn't half the time remember anniversaries, and he claims it's ok, because he's a good dad and husband. Sometimes, I buy this. When I was pregnant, he "dealt" with me--overly hormonal, and very, very anxious--but I wouldn't say he went out of his way. I have friends whose husbands backrub, and go out at weird hours to buy craving food, and who totally coddle and treat them like royalty when they're pregnant. Not mine! Even after I've given birth (and I had long labors) he didn't see it fit to buy flowers until I asked for them! Anyway--point being--he sees me as a strong, capable woman, and you're absolutely right--he totally doesn't get how much onion rings mattered to you vs. fries. Totally doesn't. BUT--and this will be the hard part for the remainder of the pregnancy--he can still be a good guy. I had a hard time remembering that, but now that I'm not pregnant and my hormones are a little more normal, I can tell you some very good guys are just like that. It irks you, but he's still a good guy.

I understand the hormones. With my daughter that is how I was. I would get so mad at anything and yell or cry. I specifically recall being so angry that I was balling uncontrollably and my husband asked what the problem was (I had been yelling at him) and I said "I don't know I am just frustrated with feeling angry for no reason". He also usually made me go and get my own cravings as well. I craved Dairy Queen blizzards (cookie dough) and he made me go and get them. He wouldn't even bring me one to the hospital after either child was born. I don't have any advice for you however other than when you feel yourself getting so frustrated try closing your eyes and putting yourself in that "happy place where the blood pressure drops" and think to yourself, if this is the worst thing that happens I guess it will be okay. I know it is easier said that done but it can be done and know that you are not crazy just a normal raging hormone pregnant mamma. Good luck and this too shall pass and it will all be worth it in the end as you know.

Wow-- you sound just like me when I was pregnant! My husband was very attentive to me when I was pregnant with our first, but when I was pregnant with my second eveything was old news! As far as the hormone thing, my husband ALWAYS says I'm overreacting and I'm not even pregnant! Any reaction I have to things, he thinks is too much-- but if he has the exact same reaction, then it's ok and totally appropriate for the situation. Men! LoL Must be a guy thing!

Hugs to you hon. Yes, you are crazy - but that's ok. And you know what? It's ok to laugh about it. We are women and we go through A LOT to make us crazy. So you have every right to be mad about getting the fries. Burger King fries suck so I completely understand. How could he?! It's not like you didn't tell him. Now if it were the first time EVER that he did something like that then I'm sure it wouldnt be a big deal. But by the 99th time you're like WHAT THE . . . !!!

It's a process that as time goes on it gets old. And your pregnant and dealing with AGAIN. Bad combination for hubby. Tisk tisk on him. He's not gonna change. He'll do it again,and again. Maintain some level of even emotion if you can. I know you want to slap him silly until he gets it. But he's man. He won't ever get it. I wish we could control our environment but sadly we can't. We can only control ourselves. He'll remain clueless until the end of time. Count your blessings that he's around and not hanging out with some sleezy stripper and getting her the fries instead of you. Take a deep breath - it will be ok : )

I've cut and pasted this email titled - WHY WOMEN ARE CRABBY.

Subject: why I'm crabby...

Why Women Are Crabby

We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that
anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it
brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra
contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our
backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those
budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear
little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in
places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was
about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF
he did it right and didn't end up with his lit
tle cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water
for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John .
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with
the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day
making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd
our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our
blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we
had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar . Calm down and push.' Just one more good push' (more
like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!*
hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling,
mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that
'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering,
wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our
early 40
's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds'
or the aforementioned Nether Regions or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your
sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so
easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad
crabby. You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me.

Send this to some bright women you know and make their day!!! And to the men who
cause it all. Make them laugh a little.....

GOOD FRIENDS ARE THE RARE JEWELS OF LIFE...
DIFFICULT TO FIND AND IMPOSSIBLE TO REPLACE!

K., This reminds me of a story I heard on NPR. A man was taking a class in advertising. He had an assignment to create a study on a products and how that product worked for its consumers. So he picked himself as the product and his wife was the consumer. So he had to interview her and asked what she did and didn't want in a "product" (ie. husband). She wanted something like honesty, humor and understanding. So he asked how can I be more understanding? When have I shown you that I am understanding? She talked about when he comes home on business trips. I think when you come home from the airport and you put your things away I feel like your being considerate and we are a team. And he asked how does that make you feel and she said It makes me feel really loved. So the point is for women the simple act of putting the suitcases away equals that were a team and you truely love me. So your onion rings weren't just onion rings. They were (for you) a symbol of caring and love. But for him it was an inconveinience to go through the drive thru again. To him it was just onion rings vs. fries. Let him know that onion rings mean you feel loved.

Debbie

Hi K., I am 36 weeks pregnant and I can relate completely to everything you have said. It is nice to know I am not the only one. My fiance is not very understanding at all. He basically acts like being pregnant no big deal. Why are you so tired? Why don't you get up earlier, to get more done? I figure you can't expect much, plus unfortunately they will never get to experience the joys of being pregnant. He will be lucky if he makes it through this alive. When I was expecting before I called Wendy's and yelled at the manager because they did'nt put cheese on my chicken sandwich. Its been nice to vent, good luck with the rest of your pregnancy anfd beyond let me know if you want to chat. A.

Get the book She's Having a Baby- And I'm having a Breakdown

even though he's not having a breakdown, it'll explain a lot of your behaviors to him.

http://www.amazon.com/Shes-Having-Baby-Im-Breakdown/dp/06...

And if he's gonna be dense about your moods and needs, you're going to have to be blunt and spell it out for him.

How nice of your husband to offer to bring you something home for dinner so that you don't have to cook. He took your daughter with him too, to help lighten the load while he was gone so you could maybe have time to get some housework done.
Sorry sweetie, but not only do I feel that you are WAY over-reacting, I think the opposite is true and your husband has been very generous with his time and thoughtfullness.
Must be hormones -- just try to put things into perspective. He could be a cheating louse who expects dinner on the table when he gets home, then goes out with "the boys" coming home to wake you up for a little 'nookie at 2 am, lol!
Next time, try to take a deep breath and realize that it's only french fries (which are bad for you anyway). :-)
Sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but I feel that sometimes these forums give us a way to get a wake up call when we need one.
Best of luck and I hope you're feeling more like yourself soon. :-) One last idea -- do you exercise regularly? I find that a daily exercise of at least 20 min at a higher heart rate really helps to keep myself positive. Must be the endorphins or something -- but I can tell you it DOES make a noticable difference.

VERY normal...at ;east to me. I have 2 girls- 4 and 2 and am preg with my 3rd. I react the same way to "little" things like that. It is a huge deal when you want something specific and you think you're getting it but don't. Guys don't understand this...should they? They have never had these cravings or feelings so I bet they do think we are insane. On the other hand, my hubby will run out for anything I ever want. I have to ask him for backrubs but he is pretty willing to do it. Best wishes...just try to calmly and VERY clearly voice your needs and wants...he'll eventually understand.

K., it was interesting reading your post and all the replies. Raging hormones - they come and go throughout our lives! If this continues after you deliver your precious baby, you may be in need of hormone support - natural progesterone cream - to help get you back in balance. I've been using a cream for 12 years (no more menstrual migraines!) and my daughter started using it for raging hormones at 19. If you have questions or want a recommendation, let me know.

Be blessed!

Hi-
I don't watch Dr. Phil but I like what he says: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

All of the "nagging" might make you feel justified, but it won't make you happy. Letting go of the small stuff will. Believe me, I've been there and what I've learned is that you need to count your blessings. Every night before you go to bed, go through the day and give your thanks for what went well or what you liked/loved, etc. I bet your husband pops up every now and then in that thankfulness speech.

You mentioned you were a cancer survivor - that is alot to go through along with pregnancy, childbirth, raising a family, etc etc. Try to give him a break - write things out for him if you need to. Give yourself a break - go for that walk to de-stress or get that pedicure in or drink that latte ... whatever it takes within reason. You deserve happiness but sweating the small stuff is not how you will get there. GOOD LUCK!