Seeking Nanny 911

Hello, this seems like something you need to speak to the daycare staff about. Tell them about his change of behavior and that this way of talk is not acceptable at home. Ask them what their disclipinary rules are for this sort of talk. If they have none, or the problem continues or gets worse, I would suggest finding a different daycare. Daycare should not allow this type of talk from 3 year olds, and a good daycare will teach them to speak in a respectable manner. He certaintly can't talk that way when he begins school, and daycares are supposed to be a stepping stone for children to get used to a school environment.

D., IF i was in your place i would find out a different way than daycare. You should look into a private daycare or pay someone else who you know that stays home. I am a SAHM but i use to work and my oldest was in daycare it was the best thing not having her there. She picked up things that she should never have known but you have to do what you have to do so if you have to work then look into someone who stays at home or something like that for him.
T.

This is going to sound harsh, but I'd look for another daycare center. My daughter is also 3 and at a center with rules and behavior expectations. They police the language and attitude. Ours is also "strong willed" and it is amazing how much we've learned from her daycare teacher about which methods she is most likely to respond to.

Your situation sounds SO familiar. My son is the same way. He is in the 2 AND 3 year old room. They combine the two ages. I see such a huge difference when he is home with me on the weekends than during the week. A few weeks ago my parents came to visit and I had the WHOLE WEEK with him. It was so nice and I really felt like my son was being the boy we all knew and loved and not the boy with nasty habits we pick up at daycare. I guess this is the reason we are deciding to take him OUT of daycare. We are about to have another boy and can't really afford it... but either way I learned my lesson and would rather be the one raising my two boys from here on out. Don't get me wrong, I think there was a lot of GOOD in daycare. What they teach, the social interaction, etc. He learned SO much there and I am grateful for the teachers and time spent with my child. But it just isn't for me anymore, and some of the other children rub off on him too easily. I hate feeling like OUR family values, manners, etc. will only be followed on the weekends or when he isn't in daycare. It's a hard decision to make. I think once the new baby is older, I would like to find a child to watch in our home so that my oldest son has someone to play with. That is the one thing I will miss for him, the social interaction.
I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure that it is also his age as much as the daycare environment. MANY children who go to daycare pick up nasty habits, just like they will when they are older at school. It just takes time and patience on your end. I'm sure that when my son is older, he will go through this again in preschool. Good luck!

It sounds like you are doing an awesome job as parents. I know lots of kids who are awful for the parents, but great at daycare. If you are unhappy with the boundaries of your daycare then I would try to find somewhere that went along more with your values. However, as your child gets older, he will always be confronted with people and situations that you won't approve of. Also, at this age he wants to assert his independence, and I think he is just testing YOUR boundaries. All we can do as parents is try to provide the best environment for them to learn in, and we have to always set the example for our children. As a kid who went to a private Christian school and then a public school, I heard the same words and saw the same bad behaviors at both. It was my parents example that really taught me right from wrong.

D.,
Maybe there is a problem at the daycare. It sounds as though something is going in the three year old room. I would drop in unannounced. If you don't see anything then, I would probably start looking for new daycare. Your son is learning bad behavior there.

K.

i would suggest putting him in a different daycare, where they have rules and don't allow those things.

I say find a new daycare!!!

Can you find an in-home care place for him instead of a day care? (Ie. a stay-at-home mom watching kids in her home). He'd probably have more supervision and interaction with an adult (and hopefully well-behaved kids) there than in a day care. I know it can be a little more expensive, but I'm guessing in your case it would be worth it.

I think the first thing I'd do is speak with the adults in the classroom. Address your issues with them since he only seems to have this bad attitude and mouth during the week. There has to be another child in there that's a problem and he's picking it up from them. Or, god forbid, the adults in the daycare.

Hi D.,

I agree with the other posters here, you may have to find a different daycare situation. Sounds like there might be a ringleader in the group.

That being said...
My kids have always been at home with me and have pcked up the same words from the play places at the fast food restaurants. I think it's partly the age.

We reminded them that it wasn't OK, then we tried time outs, then we put things into time out, then we told them that if they were going to have garbage words coming out of their mouth, we'd clean out their mouth with soap or put hot sauce on thier tongue because theose words were not OK. Even went as far as to put the hot sauce on the counter. Never had to use it. The sight of the bottle was enough.

You're lucky that he's better when he's at home. You must be great parents. Good luck!!

Unfortunately when dealing with day care, you kinda have to roll with the punches.'Teach a child in the wau of the Lord and he will come back to it'. As long as you are teaching him at home, there is hope! Instill a consequence/reward system and maybe he'll be able to overcome the tragic environment of daycare behavior. He may even help other kids to be sweet and kind as well. But in defense of daycare,as my son has not been, kids pick up alot of stuff on TV. It may seem harmless but alot of cartoons are not nice. Even Charlie Brown uses the word stupid ALOT. Good Luck.

Boy have I been there!! And now my daughter is almost 7 and in school and it doesn't get any easier I hate to say. But if you can nip this in the butt now, it will be a smoother ride when he starts school. I agree with the other ladies, you might want to find another daycare or find someone that baby sits out of their home. Have you talked with the head person at the daycare yet about your concerns? What I did with mine was taught her that the same behavior I expect at home, I expect at daycare, the babysitter, a family members home, etc when I'm not there. Words like shut up and stupid are 'dirty' words in my house. I gave her alternative ways to say shut up like please be quiet, I'm reading or what not. And as she got older, she knew that if she even got a warning for bad behavior that I was going to be very unhappy and that was worse than time out for her. Now I'm dealing with what she picks up at school and trying to get her to understand that not all parents have the same rules for their kids and I still expect her to act properly no matter what. But you are on the right track to get this taken care of before it gets way out of hand and starts happening at home.

Good luck to you and I hope you find a solution soon!

S.
Funny story for you......
My daughter is almost 7 and came home the other day and told me the neighbor boy said the "S" word. I had to giggle a bit casue I was thinking sh** but no, he called his brother stupid! So still till this day she knows that isn't a good word.