Seeking Moms W/experience Transitioning Toddler Away from Nursing to Sleep

Updated on July 23, 2008
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
3 answers

Hi Moms- need some help with transitioning my son (now 15 mos) from nursing to sleep to falling asleep w/out nursing. A bit of background (sorry for the long post) - we had a LOT of trouble re. nursing for the first 4 months. I got Shingles right after having him, and was told to "pump and dump" - screwed up his suck, and hurt a LOT, needed a lactation consultant, and finally SUCCESS! Then my husband's company laid his department off so he did some consulting - we moved around a LOT while DS was 4-8mos old. I was so glad to nurse, I didn't want to stop, and I think I needed the comfort as much as he did. We co-slept out of necessity, but enjoyed it.

Now he's older, doesn't sleep through the night yet. He does have his own room (sleeps on a queen mattress currently, which I often fall asleep on when nursing him during the night - sigh). I still enjoy the closeness, but not sure if this is the best situation for all concerned - and I'd REALLY love to sleep for 6 hours straight!

I don't want to Ferberize him, and I just got a few books on baby sleep habits, but wanted to find out if any moms out there transitioned an older child, how they did it, how long it took, etc. He's an easygoing baby by nature, but is also very determined & focused when he wants to be.

Thanks for your help in advance!

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

my preemie son couldn't nurse for 6 weeks...then, we were very sucessful for 18 months. He was disinterested and ready to wean around 16 -17 months...I transitioned him (now 5 1/2yrs) when he was about 18 months. I dont remember how i weaned him, bit now he's ready for kindergarten and I did. I know this information helps none, but, the nursings got fewer and fewer and the days between got longer until, he started to fall asleep in my arms and then in his bed, rather than sucking. I remember pulling my nipple out of his mouth 10 mintues in, then 5, then 2... all while lying on the floor in his room.

I weaned my daughter in the exact opposite way - she/we were done. She had enough and was no longer inerested at 15 months. we just stopped. She would bite, I cried.

It is a work in progress, just be patient - it takes more than 1 week!!!!! if you are in pain, please pump and save. message me if you have additional questions.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

You dont' have to Ferberize. We night weaned (while co-sleeping) so it can be done. You just need to be patient and you may need your dh's help. Check out this article by Jay Gordon, it's great and was very helpful for us: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp Elizabeth Pantley now has a book out on toddlers -- No cry sleep solution for toddlers (something like that). Her baby book was great and full of info / advice.

Mine didn't sleep through the night until he got all his teeth. Night weaning was a big help though. We continued to cosleep until he was about 2 1/2 and then he moved to his own room and sleep there (through the night) now.

Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

We just went through this with our two year old. She's always slept with me and my husband and never really slept through the night; she'd wake to nurse a couple of times a night but never fully wake, since I was there sticking a boob in her mouth as soon as she started to stir.

We're pregnant with our third and I definitely don't want two babies in my bed. First I had to get her used to falling asleep on her own. So I'd nurse her until she was nearly asleep and then put her in our bed. For the first few nights she'd whimper a bit and have a hard time falling asleep. My husband and I took turns standing at the door to the room until she fell asleep. After a week or so she was able to put herself to sleep without our presence.

At this time I also stopped allowing her to nurse at night. When she would fuss I would just tell her something like "Goodnight Meara, love you" and turn away from her. She adjusted to that just fine.

After a few weeks of this and getting her excited about a big girl bed, we bought a little bed from IKEA that's just the right size for her now & will grow wih her. She helped pick it out & put it together. The first night she woke up crying after only a couple of hours; we brought her into our bed for the rest of the night. Each night thereafter she stayed in her own bed a bit longer.

It's been about 2 months that she's been in her own bed and she sleeps there most of the night but comes into our bed for a couple of hours in the morning. I have to admit that I've been lazy about keeping her in her bed; it's easier to bring her in with me than trying to keep her in hers. We do need to start, though, since I don't want to be dealing with this in October when our new baby comes.

Good luck & I hope you're both able to get some good sleep. We found that it did take some time; it was a process. We don't believe in allowing our children to "cry it out" so we committed to taking our time with helping Meara adjust to sleeping without us. I think she'd probably still be in our bed if we weren't expecting another.

Good luck!

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