Seeking Legal & Moral Advice

Updated on May 05, 2008
F.R. asks from Houston, TX
16 answers

I am a wedding consultant who has been successful and I love what I do!!! I have met and made wonderful friends through every business encounter made possible. Back in the fall I was "hired" to do a wedding and start the planning process for a spring wedding. This wedding was for a very close friend's family. Due to our friendship I completely did not follow my standard protocal with her family as I always do with every bride. I have to be honest and say I was trying to keep it informal and not discuss money too much as I was made to believe the job was mine. Over the course of the fall months, I met with the clients several times at their home which is quite a long distance (several hrs on the road) from my business office. My friend (who I need to mention is not the bride)was present for most meetings and planning was underway. I spent many hours compiling and formatting unique ideas and for their special day. I consulted each time before any decision was made regarding centerpieces/backdrops/arches/candles/ceiling drapes/etc etc. in whole from the church to the rehearsal and all the intricate details in between. Upon aggreeance via email and phone from the bride and family I continued with my work. I constructed and provided a finished copy of what I refer to a contract depicting each detail from start to finish with exact prices. The family was thrilled and finally a check was written and I was told everything was great and the few items left to decide they would consult with the groom & father. Again~ my negligence to still keep everything informal I never made mention of getting signatures anywhere to document their acceptance of my work. Two weeks later, I received a call from the family asking me to again drive to their home to re-discuss the ideas from the last meeting (when check was given) At that time I had never in my professional line of work experienced what I like to call a meeting from hell. The women (who I had only had dealings with until this point) never said a word and the groom and father tore apart my ideas and were rude and unprofessional.(which is perfectly fine I am use to this and welcome it in my work-just wished it had happened a lot earlier) They insulted me and basically called the shots and told me what I was worth. They acted so nasty and "above it all" I cried all the way home. (even got lost) Two days later after more insults I removed myself from the job and told the groom this was best. He proceeded right after to tell me, "No, I am firing you." (Last word kind of thing with these 2 men) I explained I would be keeping partial monies for my non-refunadable deposit and invested work. Afterall they had the packet which contained all original ideas and ready set go plans for any other coordinator to follow apart from my several trips and many many hours vested. They agreed to a certain amount below what I asked. I refunded the majority and more than the half of what had been given with a final letter stating that upon acceptance of this money it would be closure. I immediately returned the amount I had made mention and 3 months has passed, the wedding is over I received a certified letter from their lawyer stating I was to reimburse the entire amount based upon no contract and no mention of a non refundable depsosit otherwise face going to court. I absolutely know I had been hired to do this job and I took absolute pride in it until the "insult meeting" took place. Since I received the letter I consulted a lawyer who told me I could fight it with the documentation I have (having been under the impression I had been hired) and also being able to prove they gave me the money to shop and reimburse for expenses incurred. Another plus would be to prove if any of my work had been used. Which at this point I do not have. I am totally in an uproar of what to do. Obviosuly I am getting taken advantage of since all of my time and effort can go down the waste. My fear is fighting this. What will it end up costing? (my husband wants me to fight it) and do I really have a leg to stand on for failing to get a contract signed? The lawyer stated there are always oral agreements to be disputed. Above all of this mess, my friend is the greatest and we have mutual respect for not discussing it to an extremity but she certainly does not agree with them. I will continue to pray and choose to walk the higher road but I am still confused. Hard lesson to learn. I would appreciate your feedback.

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C.W.

answers from Houston on

You didn't mention the amount of money they are requesting. Are you in Texas? If the amount is less than $5,000.00 this should be a small claims issue. Having been the plaintiff in a few small claims suits (as a g.m. of a business), I can say that my experience was usually mediation. A few of the cases were not attended by the defendant and my company won by default. If the amount is less than $5,000.00, I say fight it. Sounds like this could be just a scare tactic to get their money back. People like this should be held accountable for their behavior and unprofessional business practices. Oh yeah, I didn't have to hire a lawyer, either. I represented the company myself. Don't let them bully you. Good Luck!

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B.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi
I, just wanted to tell you to trust God. Pray about your situation and give it to him. What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes. What makes me honest? My integrity. So, pick and choose your battles carefully.
B.!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Wow that sounds horrible. You know I think the fact they did pay you is proof that you were hired by them. Other than that it will probably just be a matter of making your case and staying cool under pressure. Do you know a lawyer that can draw up an official letter for you. Sometimes just showing someone that you are able to get legal counsel is enough to make them back off. My family has done that before and it has worked. I had someone trying to sue me once and I knew that I was in the right so I just stood my ground and things worked out just fine. I agree with you, pray and give it to the Lord and He will work it out for you! Take care!

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I.L.

answers from Houston on

Hang it there, this lesson is a hard one to learn. You definitely need to fight this, if you don't you will regret allowing someone to take advantage of you personally and professionally. From a legal stand point, oral agreements are just as binding as writing ones; they are just harder to prove in court. Instead of having actual documentation stating the terms you'll have to proof the terms through the actions of the parties. You have acceptance of the work and prices by the bride taking what you call a contract and making payment and then you acted in good F. and remit money when the groom fried you by indicating you would not be providing a full refund. Did you ask for and were not provided your contract back with all your design ideas? It could be argued that the money not refunded was for the purchase of your designs in addition to your time. I. not an expert in this type of law or a lawyer, so please don't take this as anything more that encouragement. Good luck!

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G.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I say fight it. The mere fact that they paid you indicates they expected you do complete the work. I would counter sue for any money you feel you are still owed for your travels, samples or any other incidentals!

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I always hate to hear about these things happening from friends or family. Business is business though. I feel that I would fight as well. But don't rush it. Sending them a response letter from an attorney is a great idea. Be slow on responding before and after each correspondence and try to drag it out. Let time take its toll especially when it is them suing for the money. Keep things respectable on your end so you can hold your head high if you ever run into them or mutual friends gain. Good luck!!!

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B.W.

answers from Houston on

Girl.FIGHT IT ALL THE WAY...and as for Your 'FRIEND' if she does not agree with her husband, i think she should have had your back,giving that she LIKED EVERYTHING at FIRST..I don't think i could continue being friends with her until we talk about this matter ASAP,because she hired u in the first place..

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D.T.

answers from Houston on

The attorney is right about the verbal/oral agreement. Give the attorney your phone records, travel-gas records and any other paperwork of purchases. Journal a document of what was said by these men to you_it could by used against them. Then find out who the photographer was. (Check the local newspaper announcement) Alot of times the Wedding pictures are put on line for family and friends to purchase, this way you can see if any of your ideas were used. I own a tractor & trailer repair shop, I can see right through a driver when we repair an air system ($70) and two weeks later he's back saying we broke his fuel pump ($700). Use your wisdom, your husbands wisdom and fight this. You will not regret it.

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B.W.

answers from Houston on

I agree with your husband, you should fight it. But first, get a ballpark figure from the attorney about his/her fee and consider interviewing other attorneys.

Since your friend did not speak up at the meeting with the boys, do you have any reason to expect her to side with you (and against her now husband) in court? Sounds like she lost her voice during the engagement.

If you know of other friends or relatives who went to the wedding, you should interview them about it to ascertain whether any of your ideas were used. See if they have photos, afterall they probably spent a fortune on a photographer or videographer and they'll want to show it off to everyone. Apparently you weren't invited, partly out of malice and possibly partly due to keep you from knowing how much of your work was actually used. You should also contact all of the vendors and church staff to find out what happened. I wonder if any of them had a similar experience with them, if any of them had problems they may even have photos to share with you.

I have to say that I don't believe that your friend is much of a friend to let her then fiance and her now husband shaft you like this. She's given away her power to a man she's scarred and intimidated by. But if you still think she's your friend, try to get her to sign a statement when her husband isn't around. If she won't do it, then she's likely prepared to lie in court for her husband.

Best of luck to you.

In Amazon sisterhood,
B.

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C.K.

answers from Houston on

I am sorry to hear what happened with you....it is very hard mixing business and friendship.....really they do deserve to be fought, but from what i understand you are successful and your F. is high.....I would not waste my time with low class people, i would concentrate on the good people out there that need your help consulting them.
What goes around comes around.
Good Luck
C.

1 mom found this helpful

D.C.

answers from Houston on

F.,

I am not an attorney but I would think that if you have corresponsence via e-mail regarding your plans, documentation of the time and expense that you put into "planning" the wedding details and they wrote you a check..in my book that means you were hired! In your work much of the payment you accept is for your time and service (outside of the money for the purchased details and items for the wedding). You put time into planning and deserve to be paid for that even if you didn't end up doing the wedding. I would think that you will want to sit down and figure out risk vs benefit here. Bad reviews by clients make an even bigger impact on a business than good ones, because most people that are unhappy with a business will tell everyone and their uncle and others that are happy with a business only tell a few (unless they are over the top happy with the business). Take a look at how much money you are talking about here and decide if it is worth it. Keep your emotions out of it because they will tell you to go after this just because they were such jerks. If we are talking less than a couple thousand, I would call it a loss and move on...the likelihood that they actually "hired" an attorney is very low and probably just a family friend. If the amount is substantially more and is part of the real expenses for items you purchased on their behalf, I would fight it because that is real property, but to move on maybe refund them all of your service expenses just to get them out of your hair.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

So sorry you are dealing with such an unpleasant circumstance.
I can tell you are a christian and so I will tell you what I know has helped me in confusing situations such as these. I think you invested your time, energy and provided them with your expertise which should obviously be compensated. Unfortunately, there are people our there who are difficult and are only able to see their (distorted) perspective without regard for others. So, here is my advise. Colossians 3:15 says "let peace be your umpire" or let it give you the direction on how you should proceed. Listen to the Holy Spirit in your spirit and see where the peace of God leads you. He will always lead you the way that will be the most profitable (in finances, peace, family, freedom from stress). Sometimes our natural reasoning says "Do this" but we don't have peace--there's that anxiety attached to it. God knows the best course for you, your family and your business. Follow peace! You'll be glad you did. Blessings!

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N.C.

answers from Houston on

I worked as a wedding consultant and got out of it after one too many matron aunts walked into the hall and proceeded to tell me how to do my job. In TX oral agreements are just as binding as written (as was held up in the Texaco-v-Penzoil case) you have a right to fight it in court and demand recompense for your time and effort put into the job as well. Good luck :)

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S.V.

answers from Houston on

To quote Tom Hanks' in "You've Got Mail"...Fight. Fight to the death. It's not personal, it's business. It's not PERSONAL its BUSINESS. Just keep reciting those words to yourself everytime you think you're losing your nerve.

Your time is valuable, and you are "worth it". They were given a service and the fact that they already took monies back says that you're arrangement has already been handled.

Aside from that, I keep askin myself---where was your friend in all this? And if she truly didn't agree with what they're doing, why didn't she step up? (I'm assuming she didn't because you didn't mention that in your request).
THese people, to put it nicely, are quite mean and vindictive and the writing was on the wall right from the start.

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J.P.

answers from Houston on

My sister is a wedding photographer and she has a website
for all to see and order pictures. Possibly you can find
out who the photographer was and ask to view the wedding
photos for documenting your ideas at work.

Wish you a lot of luck. It gets really sticky when doing
business with friends and family. I wouldn't expect your
friend to speak up for you as she now has a partner with
which she most likely will side.

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

Wow. Sure goes to show you about the importance of having a contract! If I were you, I would sign up with Pre-Paid Legal for $25 a month. They can give you some affordable legal advice, which is what you need to deal with these bullies. God bless you!

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