Seeking Help with My Almost 14 Year Old Daughter

Updated on August 23, 2008
M.F. asks from Moores Hill, IN
17 answers

My oldest daughter will be 14 in Feb. She has not started her period yet and she is very concerned with that. She is feeling like she is getting left behind and puberty is never going to find her. lol... She is very thin, weighing only 90 pounds, and I am thinking that may be one of the reasons why she is late hitting puberty. I dont know. She has all her friends that have had theirs for a few years now and her cousins who are the same age started when they were 11 and 12. Is this something I should be concerned with? She has started puberty but just no period.

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So What Happened?

Yaaaaa!...she finally started her period in March. The bad part is, now she is asking why does this have to happen every month and she wishes it had never come at all. lol. poor kids. She does feel like she fits in more and is more "in" with her peers.

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S.W.

answers from Evansville on

Boy is she lucky! :) I was 10 when I started, but my cousin was 2 weeks shy of 18 before she started..just depends on the person. I wouldn't bee too worried about it. I know when you want aomething it is hard to understand that life can be easier without it, but I would try to explain it to her anyway. It is just one less thing she will have to worry about right now. She is in a confusing time in life..who needs a period and hormones in the mix too?! Hope she feels better about it soon!

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C.C.

answers from Lexington on

I was 14 and didn't have my period either. My mom said that if I didn't get it by my 15th birthday that she would take me to the Dr. I got it 2 weeks before my 15th birthday. I was around 100 pounds. Tell her not to worry.

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M.L.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Consider taking her to the Dr. If you are uncomfortable taking her to "the" Dr., try taking her to her family Dr. It very well may be a combination of her weight and just being a late bloomer. It would be better to know for sure though.

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

I wouldn't worry... she sounds more normal than most kids these days. When I was teenager (mid-80s) most girls hit puberty and started their periods at like 14-16 years old. Today the age has dropped so the average is like 11! There are many theories why, but no one knows for sure. Everybody is really different... I wouldn't be in a big hurry for the painful cramps and other bothersome effects to start!!

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A.W.

answers from Lafayette on

Tell her to count her blessings...she's not missing anything. I was 17 before I started mine.

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K.G.

answers from Lexington on

I would suggest a visit to the doctor's office for a physical just to reassure everyone that she is in good health. It maybe that she has such a low body fat amount that it has delayed her period...some athletic women have this problem.

When did you start your period? how about your mother? The females on your husband's side. It maybe genetic that she starting later due to an anscestor who also started later.

The doctor's office for a physical is where I would start.

Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Evansville on

My oldest daughter started hers at 13, my middle daughter who will be 14 in March just had her first one last month.... no 2nd one yet. It took my oldest daughter almost a year to get on a regular cycle once she started. My niece is 13 and she has not had one yet either. Each child is different so I wouldnt be too worried yet.

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K.H.

answers from Louisville on

I wouldn't worry about your daughter until she turns 16, that's when she should go to the OBGYN doctor anyways. I didn't start until I was 14 1/2 and I was already well forming elsewhere. Just relax and it'll come and enjoy the period free time!! :) Hope this helps, good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Huntington on

I would say there is absolutly nothing wrong with her. Just like anything else in kids.....they do it at different ages!!!! I didn't start mine until I was 14 1/2. I had breasts when I was 10-11. I went from like an A to a C over the summer. So pretty much with training bras...I went straight to wearing a C when I started wearing bras...and actually having to wear one!!!!

I know how it is when you are young and you want boobs, periods, and leg hair to shave....to be just like the big girls.....but just assure her that once it starts you can't get rid of it!!!! NONE OF IT!!!! I would take her to like a Youth Health Center for young teens. Let them check her out if it would make her feel better.

Also, I don't know if it is true or not.....I have heard that most girls start about the same age as their mother or even grandmother!!! Think about that!!! Hope this helps!!! TELL HER TO WAIT AND ENJOY THOSE PERIOD FREE SWIMS AND EXERCISE THAT GETS MUCH WORSE WHEN YOU START!!!! :)

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S.B.

answers from Huntington on

Alot of girls start later than others ......nothing really 2 worry about,but if it continues 2 bother u discuss it with your Gynocologist.Everything will be just fine.

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R.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't think it is her weight I was that size at that age and I am 108 now. I started my period at the age of 11. I would suggest taking her to the family doctor just to make sure she is alright.

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

tell her to enjoy the freedom while she still can. once it comes it doesn't go away till she is an old woman. it can be such a hassle every month...i was 10 when i got my 1st period and i've hated it ever since.

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L.N.

answers from Indianapolis on

My Daughters both started at 14 and I was 14. It does tend to be a trait that follows mother/daughter. I felt so out of it when I was the last of my friends(in the 60's) to start so I made sure my daughters knew that they may not start till around that age. That seemed to help them not feel too out of the loop when all their friends started at 12ish. My one daughter was very small also and was quite irregular for a long time. /Dr said it was not enough body fat to trigger regularity. She never has become regular(age 27) even though she is now "normal body weight.

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S.

answers from Louisville on

I didn't start mine until after I was 14, but the age does seem to be getting younger all the time. My mother actually started at 10 and my sister started at 12--so I was definitely the late bloomer of the family.

Here's a thing from Kotex that is interesting. It says first period usually starts between 9 and 16 and after the weight has reached 100 pounds--so it looks like you might be right on with your assessment.
http://www.kotex.com/na/talk/teen/girlthing/qa.asp

Best to you and your daughter. I so remember being one of the last ones to start.

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A.P.

answers from South Bend on

It really is different for everyone. I was 16 when I started mine and I was tiny too about 93 pounds I think. She should enjoy the freedom she has while she can, cause she won't know how her period is going to treat her. My sister, who started hers at 16 too had really hard periods, where as I didn't even notice them. Maybe she'll luck out like me:) Either way, don't stress it overly much. It'll happen- nature is just taking it's time.

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V.S.

answers from Louisville on

Hi Mariene,

u need'nt worry abt your daughter. I hv a daughter of 14 yrs and she too had the same problem. but she was lil' overweight. I too was worried n contacted my gynac who advised me to just chill n relax, since u need'nt worry till the age of 19-20 as in some cases it takes that much time. she's now attained puberty n all's well. only after 20, we need to take any medical help. u can be supportive n make her understand, in the meanwhile.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I've heard that the period is triggered by the persentage of body fat on a female. When I started reading your question I thought, "Is your daughter slim?" and you answered. You can try takeing her to see your GYN. I'm sure He/she can explain it a lot better then I can.

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