Seeking Help for My God Granddaughter Sleeping Habits

For Pete's sake, what is wrong with people, that they would hit a child for not sleeping at a "right" (for adults) time? Spanking makes a child upset and angry - is that what you want at bedtime?
In many years of parenting I never put a 3-year-old to bed that early. She probably just doesn't need as much sleep. See my earlier response to another question re: a calming bedtime routine. Getting mad is counterproductive. What you all want is to feel good and comfortable at the end of the day.

My heart goes out to the dear little boy mentioned elsewhere in this column, whose mother put him to bed on a "non-negotiable" basis so that he vomited, he was so upset. Any punishment or routine that breaks a kid like that is too harsh. Schedules and clocks are arbitrary and can always be changed - I thought we got rid of that controlling stuff in the '60s (I was a '50s kid and can still remember how much I hated being put to bed by the clock). Choosing to have kids is, in part, a decision that schedule are not as important as other things. The kid's welfare should be the important thing, not a number on a clock.

Does your goddaughter still take naps? When our 3 yo daughter naps during the day, it is a nightmare to get her to stay in bed at 8pm and sleep through the night and/or in her own bed. Maybe the kiddo is outgrowing them...

My oldest would always try to sleep with me but I never let her unless she was sick so that I could keep an eye on her. I would walk her back to her room and read a book or just lay with her for 10-15 mins then go back to my bed.
A few times though when I woke I found her with a blanket and pillow sleeping on my floor. Bless her heart, she snuck in when I was asleep... so I would pick her up and take her back to her bed.
I was just afraid that it would become a problem if I started, so I just never started it.
A set routine is probably going to be her best option. I too also have always had my girls calm about 20-30 mins b4 it is the start time to their bedtime routine. Lower the TV, lower the lights and talking quietly always seemed to work for me.

My son was the same way. At four years old, he is finally sleeping in his own bed.

We found that creating a new routine for bedtime eased our son into sleeping on his own. At a specified, non-negotiable time (7 pm), he is given a bath, then read a book in HIS bed, then I turn out the lights and lay with him until he falls asleep, at which time I leave the room.

Mind you, the first night of this new routine, my son literally vomited and was hysterical, but we stuck to our plan, and within a week, he learned what to expect and he also understood that there is no negotiation, no drinks, no food, no talking, etc.

Also, we put a flashlight behind my son's pillow, so that if he wakes up at night and can't go back to sleep, he can find his way to our bedroom. That puts him at ease. And if he does wake up at night, I return him to his bed and again lay with him until he falls asleep.

I think kids like my son fear sleeping and sleeping on their own because they never learned to fall asleep on their own. To teach him how to fall asleep, I told him to close his eyes and think of something that makes him happy. Seems to work like a charm.

Wish you luck! It's a difficult transition for both mom and child, but worth the few nights of chaos.

My 4 year old son has a very set bedtime routine and I think that really helps. The one that we use is: pajamas, snack, potty, brush teeth, story and then bed. Since he likes to read/look at books, we let him sit in bed with a pile of books for a little while. He usually ends up falling asleep within 15 minutes.

I think keeping kids calm and quiet right before bed helps them fall asleep more easily and making sure she is tired. Perhaps 7:30 is too early of a bedtime and the little girl is just not tired. There is a website that talks about how much sleep a kid at each age needs (Not sure of the site, but google hours kids need to sleep and you will find it.). If her bedtime is too close to the end of the naptime (if she still naps) it may be too soon for her to fall asleep.

Keeping the bedroom a quiet and dark place can help too. We have classical music playing and room darkening blinds to keep the room dark. My son picked out his bedding and has favorite stuffed animals to sleep with.

Hitting anyone is never an answer for anything and will just continue to associate bedtime as a negative thing.

Do they have a bedtime routine? Bath, books, a song, a prayer--- whatever? Is bedtime consistent? Has mom tried staying with her until she sleeps?

Consistency is key. I lay down with both my kids after a soothing routine at the same time every night (of course there are occasional exceptions). The rule is that she must lay down and there is no talking.

I think Elizabeth Pantly's "No Cry sleep solution" has some good ideas. Don't expect any book to solve it all for you since the children don't tend to read the book....

Good luck and thanks for stopping her from hitting her child. Let's raise a more peaceful and respectful world!