Screaming for Attention

Updated on December 05, 2008
S.T. asks from York, PA
10 answers

Hi, I have a 6 month old son, and it seems that he is starting this screaming anytime I leave the room or am not paying attention to him. He even does it sometimes when I am feeding him, if I am not looking at him or watching Tv while I feed him. Is this normal? Is this just a stage he is going through? It is very time consuming. Should I just let him go? He is not crying, just screaming or grunting, I say it is more on the whining side. Help, I cant get anything done.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice. It's helped alot. Ive been stressed out and I think he feels that. When I am calm so is he.

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S.P.

answers from Scranton on

You have to ignore this behavior, or he will keep doing it. Reward his good behavior with attention. When he yells or screams, you need to show him, that it will not get him anywhere. He is learning how to get his way.

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C.P.

answers from York on

Hi!!

Is he just testing out his voice? He probably has just found it and is trying to figure out what it does - is he learning that everytime he screams you come running?? My daughter use to do that - and gradually I just let her scream till her little heart was content - she "talk" to her toys the dog anything that was around - and sometimes nobody.

I personally think it is just a phase - but be careful - at about 6 months baby start to form habits - so if your son learns that everytime he "talks" you come to him - it could turn to crying and tears whenever you stop.

It isn't until about 8 or 9 months when babies learn that objects still exist even when baby can't see them - expect this sort of behavior again then - when baby starts to realize you still exist when he can't see you, then he wants to see you all the time!!! He learns the emotion of "missing" you!!

Kids are so much fun and it is amazing to watch them learn - enjoy and keep up the good work!

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Just saw this message and wondering how you are doing with your son? He must be a year-plus at this point. Have you resolved the screeming issue?
A concern I have is for the TV being on while it is meal time.
I know how tough it is to shut it off, but really, turn it off and slip in a CD, listen to a story or some nice music at meal time. This is just a bad habbit to develope, watching TV when you are eating, I mean. If it is not on (especially at meal times) this will show him that you are there for him 100%. What ever is on TV can wait.
Everything elce that others refered to as far as ignoring etc is soooooooooo true, he 's starting to minipulate you, be careful! Remember who is the mom!

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

At this age, he is just starting to learn that you and he are separate human beings. What he hasn't learned yet is that when someone is out of sight, they haven't stopped existing. Try to put yourself in his shoes and imagine how scary it would be if the big creature that you depended upon to stay alive suddenly disappeared. Be gentle to him as he figures this out!

A lil Dr Sears article on baby cries: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp#T051204

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T.G.

answers from Dover on

Hi S.! First let me say that I am a 36 yr old SAHM to 3 kids (10, 7, and 2). My older 2 never did the things that my 2 yr old has done. And one of those things was the screaming when I left the room! I saw that some have said that he is just testing his voice. I don't know about that. They may be right....but it sure didn't feel like that to me. My daughters tested their voices too....but not the way he did. I truly believe he was mad when I left his sight.

This was very annoying to me. It is hard to get anything done! You can try leaving him in his swing or bouncy chair where he can see you....or on the floor within sight of you. I would do this and then he would still scream because I wasn't paying attention to him.

The only advice I have is to ignore him. If you keep going to him every time, he will develop the habit of doing it and it will be harder to break later. It took my son about a year to finally stop doing it all together. I know that is a long time. Maybe someone else will have a better idea. I just learned to do what I needed to do while he screamed. (earplugs may help :) But around the time he learned to crawl really well, he was doing it a lot less. By that time he was able to come find me and that became a game for him.

There is hope and he will stop eventually.
Best of luck!
T.

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L.G.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi S.,

Is your son the first or second child? My oldest daughter was fine if I was'nt always near her,she was a happy,curious baby.She was pretty content.My second daughter was very clingy,and would really scream hard if I left the room or she could'nt see me.I always told her I loved her and her sister and I would never leave them and give them hugs and kisses.They felt secure in my love and affection for them.It was a phase, she went through.She of course grew out of that phase,Thank God. She would holler even if it was my sisters or Mom watching her it didnt matter, it wasn't me.They have both turned out to be wonderful,kind,caring,smart women and I am very proud of them both.Now I have never had a son,maybe he just wants attention constantly,but if you start to let him holler and go about your business he will eventually give it up because he sees it isn't working any more.I know S. at first it will be trying,frustrating,and think he is incorrigible,but believe me in all my 52 years on this Earth,it has proven to work on boys and girls.Just make sure it isn't anything medically wrong.As long as you don't give in to him,he will be more secure,confident and better for it.He will grow out of it.Just keep giving him hugs and kisses and know that you are always there for him and he feels secure . Try 10 minutes at first,then 15,then 25 and so on,he will stop.But again,make sure he isnt suffering with something medically wrong,like his tummy hurts,his ear,or anything like that.Good Luck and God Bless!Let me know if you can.
L.

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J.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi S.,
My daughter would do the same thing. Just remember that they don't do that unless they need something from you. It's ok to leave him go for a FEW minutes. Here's how I solved the problem.....
I put my daughter in a bouncer seat...we used the baby papasan. I would make sure that she was buckled in and I would carry her around in that. I'd set her down on the floor in it while I cooked or did whatever I had to. I'd sing to her as well about what I was doing (mom-my's swweeeeeping the floor...da da da). Once singing or running the sweeper no longer worked, I'd pick her up and hold her. Sometimes you just have to get things done (like go to the bathroom), other times, just let certain things go and hold or play with your baby. I had several older moms tell me NOT to do what I did o I'd regret it. I hate to tell them that my kid seems more well adjusted now (than their kids...who happen to be my friends), simply because I gave her the attention I felt that she needed. No, your son most likely wont turn into a psycho killer because you make him cry a bit, but when you can, look at him, sing, cuddle, play. i f you choose to leave him cry, only let him do it a few minutes, like 1-3 at first. Mine is only one opinion, and I wish you luck.

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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello Stacy, My son and daughter have both done the same thing. My advice is to just ignore him. Eventually he will learn that it is not going to work but as long as you go in and give him the attention he will continue to get all upset when you leave the room. What i do if my son starts to scream is I put him in his crib with some toys untill I am done with what I am doing. if he is distracted he doesn't even notice I am not around. I hope this helps.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

S.,

My 5 month old daughter does this! She shrieks to get our attention and it can be really annoying when I am trying to get dinner ready or if we are all trying to watch TV at night. We tell her "Shhhh...we can hear you if you use a quiet voice." Does it work?...Well, sometimes! If I talk to her when I'm working and keep her so she can see me when I'm doing chores, it helps. My son went through the same thing at about the same age, so I think this is just a stage that all babies go through as they find their voice and learn to use it to get a reaction from the people (and pets!) around them.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 8 mo. old son, and right around 6 months or so he started that squealing too. For him it was just a new discovery. He loved just hearing himself make that noise, he still does it occationally but for the most part as soon as he started making other noises it died down. So don't worry as he learns new noises the sqealing should fade out.

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