Scared of a Stillborn Birth

Updated on April 20, 2011
R.P. asks from Aurora, CO
13 answers

I am 38 weeks & 5 days. This is my fourth pregnancy yet third birth child. Our first child was born healthy and I had no major health issues but he died from SIDS 6 weeks after his birth. Our second child was healthy as well however she was born with a very small partial cleft pallet in which was a pinhole at the crease of her top lip. We decided when she turn 1.5 we would get the surgery done in which we did & its unrecognizable. I had health issues as I had w/our first yet she & I was being monitored throughout the pregnancy & after birth. With our first two I had very high plateletes that were associated with a blood disorder that I inherited, hypothyroidism, and upto 27-30 lbs weight gain for both pregnancies. They both came 2 weeks early from the due date.

Now this last child, is healthy also but there were issues at 31 weeks that there was fluid near her lungs & heart, but now everything seems to be just fine. My platelets are way down to normal, there's no signs of hypothyrodism and my weight gain has been over 45lbs this pregnancy and feel really good because I am active like my when I was pregnant w/my son yet far from tired like with my daughter's. I have heard that during the last month the baby is suppose to slow down w/movements because of less space yet it seems like hers has not decreased at all! In addition, she is well past the first two on timing (they came 2 wks early) but were full term and I have had practically every sign/effects associated with pregnancy that I didn't have with the first two. I want her to come out healthy with no problems and even more so grow beyond to bury her parents not the other way around.

My question to you is...if my child is very active could this cause a problem of her being stillborn? I am so scared that because we already have had a history of problems w/the first two and since we already have gone through the after affects that there could be something that may go wrong here again. I have prayed on it often & hope God answers my prayers. I would greatly appreciate any feedback...Thanx!

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So What Happened?

Hi All,

I went into labor four days and 7 hours. Baby Zavia came into our world healthy at an even 7.0 lbs, and 19 inches long on April 27, 2011 at 6:27pm. Baby & I are doing well. Thank you for your care & concerns ladies, it was very much appreciated!!!!

R.

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L.F.

answers from Denver on

I think that if she is very active shes far from still born. I would take her activity and be very proud that she is moving around.

Updated

I think that if she is very active shes far from still born. I would take her activity and be very proud that she is moving around.

1 mom found this helpful

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

How hard this must be for you. I am so sorry for the loss of your first child. I had similar feelings after my first grandson was born. A dear friend of mine had a grandson born just a few weeks after mine. They both had the same first and middle names. Her grandson passed away from RSV at about 6 weeks of age. It was so stressful to me. I would sit and watch my grandson breathe while he was sleeping and I was not able to sleep at all.

As my daughter had more children I would catch myself being distant from them and thinking things like they might die and I didn't want to get too close to them so it wouldn't hurt so much. I had lots of leftover issues about this friends grand-baby passing away. I had a hard time opening up and getting attached to the rest of them until they were several months old.

My sister had a stillborn baby her first pregnancy. The baby was not very active then just stopped moving. She was 8 1/2 months along. I think being very non active is a sign, not too much activity.

I think if you talk to your doc about your fears he might be able to do something to help. Is there some type of monitor that you can wear? That will keep track of the baby's heart beat?

Perhaps playing some CD's that are uplifting and calming might help too. I find that when I am stressing out if I put some Peaceful Ocean Surf in the player or something soft and quiet I can drift off to sleep much quicker than without anything. During the day I often turn on local religious music. It doesn't have bad language, questionable topics for the daily trivia questions, rude comments about this politician or that business. It's pretty much enjoyable, since we have 3-4 of them I can always find one playing good music, I don't listen to the preaching on it. I do like some of the programs though like Money Matters.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My daughter just gave birth to her third child. She said this pregnancy was different than her other two. This baby was very active right up to delivery. I wouldn't think that being active would be cause for concern about still birth. In the pregnancies that resulted in still birth that I've heard about the baby was inactive and then not active at all.

My daughter's first two were early. this one was 2 weeks late. Every pregnancy is different. If your doctor says everything is OK, I'd trust that it is. worrying doesn't help and only makes life more difficult for you.

5 moms found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

I have had stillbirths. You will be fine. It is great that the baby is active! Has your doctor asked you to count kicks? If there are less than 10 kicks in a 2 hour period, you need to contact the doctors office.

Here is a sight that explains it in more detail.
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/kickcoun...

I will be praying that this birth goes smoothly.

4 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Every pregnancy is different. I have a 7 month old boy who was super, super active throughout the pregnancy. I went 41 weeks and 6 days before going into labor and then labored for 2 days - so he was 42 weeks and 1 day by the time of his birth.

He never stops moving, not even in his sleep. He moves around so much in his crib it is crazy - and did since birth. I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son and your difficult pregnancies but try to remember that each pregnancy is different. Share your fears with your doctor and consider getting a doula to help you during labor.

Praying for a healthy baby and mama and a safe delivery!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

I am sorry for the loss of your baby! I think in this pregnancy, try to just relax and enjoy the last few weeks. An active baby is always a good sign---so best wishes on your delivery and I will be praying for you to have a happy, healthy baby!

Take care,

M

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I think it's normal to be anxious because of your 1st 2 experiences, but a very active baby is a sign of a healthy baby. Every pregnancy/ every baby is so different. Problems with your 1st 2 don't mean that there will be problems with your 3rd. Next time you see your OB, tell him/her your concerns. Maybe hearing there's no reason to worry from a doctor will make you feel better :) Congratulations on the new baby!!!!
Blessings.

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K.P.

answers from Memphis on

Active is good. It's actually somewhat of a myth that "babies stop moving before birth" -- this lack of movement can actually be a sign that the baby isn't doing well, and is conserving oxygen. Yes, as the baby gets bigger, there is (usually) less room in the uterus, so the movements are more constricted, but if there is a sharp decrease in the baby's activity, then you should get checked out because there may be something wrong.

Do daily kick counts, and that will help ease your mind. [Just google "kick count" and you'll find instructions on how to do it, and even handy sheets you can print out to check off.]

2 moms found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine the anxiety you must feel all the time.

The other moms are correct. A very active baby is always a good sign. All of my children were very active, even through labor.

Good luck to you. I would love an update to let us know when you have your sweet baby :-) I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.W.

answers from Denver on

I just wanted to cry for you and all that you have endured. You must be a very strong woman and my heart goes out to you and your family. I would certainly be very paranoid in your shoes too.

It sounds to me though that this newest baby is perfect! Two of my 4 kids were EXTREMELY active until the day they delivered, no problems. I think this is your time that you can sit back and enjoy without worry.

God's blessings to you and your healthy pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Denver on

I think you will be fine, God will help you through this! Be strong, try not to worry.
All babies are different, you know that, your baby is good and you will have another sweet gift to tend to!!!!Yay...... I will pray for you.
I have personally had six successful births, 9 pregnancies, ALL of them have been different, none of them even remotely the same. Actually, the slowing down happened sometimes, not every time.
Have faith and know God loves you!!!!

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S.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My goodness, you have been through a lot. No wonder you have worries and anxiety. Have you thought about prenatal and postnatal counseling? Just a therapist to talk to who also is very knowledgeable about pregnancy? It's a WONDERFUL resource to women who have had traumatic events and complications with their babies. If you are interested, please message me and I will get you lots of information.
I think you will be okay, and an active child is still a healthy sign.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm so sorry about your first baby. What a terrible loss. Now is the time to be positive. My babies got incredibly active the last month. I think it may have been that they had nowhere to go and I felt every movement even more, but they also all had hiccups five times a day for the last three weeks at least. God bless you and your little ones.

1 mom found this helpful
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