My husband and I have been debating lately on wether or not to try for a 3rd child. We both love our sons very much and they are the center of our lives, but we'd really like to try for a girl. (Even if we had another boy, it'd be fine though.)
My problem/worries are about how the pregnancy would go. My 1st pregnancy was wrought with complications from high blood pressure, anemia, the placenta tearing away,premature labor and a host of other things. I ended up delivering by emergency C-section at 36 weeks. My 2nd pregancy was less troublesome but after 12 hours of non-progressive labor, I had to have C-section #2 where it was discovered that my pelvic bones will not open far enough to allow for natural delivery. (he was actually STUCK in the opening, trying to get through the birth canal.) I do realize that IF we go for #3, I am destined for another C-section, but the possibilty of complications scare the life out of me. We almost lost our oldest son, and I almost died in the process, and if my doctor had not been competent enough in her job, things would have ended up a whole lot worse.
The OB who delivered my first 2 children no longer pratices in this state, so I would have to start over and develop a trusting relationship with a new doctor.
Has anyone had 3 C-sections? I'm afraid of the damage it may do, and since I'm a very high-risk pregancy, I'm terrified of the complications that are prone to arise. I would appreciate any advice or input.
Thanks everyone. We're still in the "I want to, but...." stage, but nothing has been set in stone yet. I've told him that IF we decide to go for a third child, it will be before I'm 30, so there's a little over 2 years left to finish the discussion :P
Don't have any advice on the c-sections but I also am considered very high risk pregnancy and would like to offer my dr.s information. His name is Dr. Sumners and he is affiliated with St. Vincent's Womens Hospital. His phone number is ###-###-####. He delivered my son at 26 wks and I have also spoken to other moms he has delivered. He is an amazing man! Good Luck!
I haven't had any c-sections, but I'm right there with you. Two years ago this Christmas our youngest son died just before birth -- medical malpractice issue. I also nearly died -- even had "last rites" from a priest. We can't be sure how much of the complications were from bad medical care and how much has a risk of recurrence in a future pregnancy. My first pregnancy was easy -- no problems. I really want another, but am also afraid of leaving behind the two I have.
The best advice I can give is to collect all your medical records and go see at least on Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialist to get a highly-educated opinion on what your risks are. If you need the names of some that I think are good, please feel free to contact me.
I've also seen some suggest adoption. We are in the middle of that right now. It is not quick, it is not painless, and it is not inexpensive (although it can appear that way if you aren't struggling through the middle of it) -- but it can be a great choice. Just like a pregnancy - it can have its ups and downs and challenges. If you want to talk about any of this, feel free to contact me.
Whatever you decide, best of luck!
S. ,I would really think hard about this ,I was a high risk tried for a girl and carried her dead 4 months,and My oldest son was 32 hours in stay labor ,it was really bad tore my bowel wall on the inside, so when I was with my 3 child the doctor said because this baby was much bigger than the first I had to have a c-section .So only you can really decide if you are willing to risk it because your third may be fine to carry ,you just never know how our body would do ,I would seek medical advise first .Because where your life is at risk not good your boys need you so please check with a good doctor first .I do wish you the best of luck because I would still love to have a little girl !!!but there is no way for me to .God Bless you and good luck .
I've been very lucky with 2 very uneventful pregnancies with very healthy babies. Now I'm pregnant with our 3rd.. I'm hoping it's as easy as the other to. I'm not saying this to gloat... just stating so you know that I truly do not know what you have experienced. (just being honest) That said... I have had several friends with very difficult pregnancies. In all their cases, they decided to either stop having children or decided to grow their family by adopting. If you truly want a baby girl please check into adoption -- there are tens of thousands of little children/babies just waiting for someone to take care of them. International adoptions are somewhat easy and painless to do these days. Due to the circumstances of our friends, my husband and I have discussed what we would do in the same situation and both decided that adoption would be better (no risk for mom or baby).
Hi! I am J.,33 yrs old with 3 kids and 3 c-sections!Here's a little about how it all happened.lol. I married the love of my life immediately out of highschool who was stationed at Ft. Bragg. Then we immediately got pregnant with our first child! he was born in April of 1992. I wasn't dilating fast enough and after all day of labor they did an emergency c-section because his heart rate started to drop! He was born healthy at 9lbs.5 oz. I however had some trouble recovering as fast as normal. Then I tried for a vaginal delivery with my daughter in Jan of 1995. She was born a week early and after all day of labor she was wedged in the birth canal and of course c-section! She had a hematoma on her head where she was wedged but that did go away! I however developed pnuemonia and went back in the hospital the day we were released! She was 10lbs 9 oz! Inever had justioal diabetes either! Then after we thought we were done we decided for 1 more! My baby Miah was born feb.27,2004 and we scheduled the c-section!!No Labor!! She was 2 weeks early cause she was soooo big .11lbs 8 oz!!! I recovered fine. She weas also breech and she came out not breathing,very jaundice and had a red blood cell problem that mysteriously fixed itself.So she spent 1 week in ICU.She gave us a scare but she is great now!!The pregnancy was very draining but all my scars healed fine! I just don't have a flat belly!! Anyway, I hoped this helped!Good luck! The 2 older kids are almost 12 AND 15 so they help out a lot ! Take care!J.
Hey S.!
I went thru the same decision making although I didn't have C-sections both of my preg. were very hard on me. My first I almost died of dehydration and had to have a pic line (put in thru the jugular(sp?) for 4 wks that is all the nutrients I got out of a bag it was awful then I got preeclampsia and he was delivered 4 wks early(now a healthy 6 yr old) My 2nd preg I went into labor at 27 wks and had to be in bed for 10 wks constantly contracting and visiting the hospital 2-5 times a wk to have my labor stopped he was delivered 3 wks early and is now going to be 3 next month. I would love a 3rd child just like you but I have weighed my options w/ taking care of my 2 what would happen if either one of these situations arose again who would take care of my kids (my husband works lots of hrs) who would get Avery to school, who would get them lunch. After these options I have decided it is too risky for me and my family to do it. We have talked about later on adopting because we both want more children. Good luck w/ your decision!
I've only had one c/s (which was plenty!) so I can't speak from personal experience. I knew a woman here who had three c/s though - she's now moved out of town. I think she said she had trouble getting the babies through her pelvis for some reason. She labored twice (hoping to VBAC the second time), and then just scheduled the third c/s. She actually said that the third pg and birth went more smoothly than the first two. I didn't know her through her first 2 births and never discussed all the details. YMMV.
I'm 40 and pregnant with my third. I had two C-sections for each of my boys. My husband was done, but I counln't commit to not having another (even at my age). Well, God decided for us. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure last year, and couldn't take birth control. We used other methods, but obviously they weren't as effective. Surprise, number 3 is on the way. I pray that if this is Gods will for us to have another, that he will bless us with a girl, and watch over this pregnancy. The first trimester was worst than my others, but my doctor is great and monitoring me carefully. If God wants you to have another, he will take care of everything. that doesn't mean it will be easy, but that HE will be with you through it. I think you need to consult God for direction and trust Him for wahtever he wants for you.
As much as I long for a girl to complete my family; I have to temper my wants for what God wants for me. God knows what is best, and I have to trust that.
I will pray for you. God Blessings <><
J.
Hun, I know what you are going threw. My husband and I just decided to have our third child. THis will make it three c-sections for me. What made me decide to have our third, well... he have two girls and wanted to try for a boy. But if it's a girl we are fine with that too. I am due in July and the one thing that really made it ok was, I know my history and I wasn't going to stay with the first doctor I found until I knew... with out a doubt that I trusted that doctor and they really knew their stuff. I look at it as I am more expierenced with the difficulties and I know how my body has adjusted and in some ways how it reacts. So, I look at it as I have to take it easy, I have to be very cautious to my bodies needs and I need to let the doc know every weird sign that may develop throughout my pregnancy.
I have two girls, Emma will be three in February, Abigial turned one this September and we are haveing our third in July.
If you are not completely sure, consult an OBGYN before you try to get pregnant. Find the one you like and talk to them about your concerns.
I haven't had 3 c-sections...infact I only had one...my last child. But I have had 8 kids and I'll tell you this...no two pregnancies are the same. And if you have a skilled and competant doctor then things will go a little better than if you don't have a skilled and competant doctor. I can actually help with that part of things. Here in Lafayette, at the Arnette by Home Hospital is Dr. Shinn. He has experience with high risk pregnancy. My 7th pregnancy nearly killed me...I was living in Indianapolis at the time...we were pretty certain that if I got pregnant again I wouldn't make it. I got pregnant again...he kept a very close eye on me and because of him...I made it. He is the only doctor in this state that I ever actually liked...and I swear he must have been a plastic surgeon in his past life because you can't even see the scar where he did the emergency c-section. He's easy to talk to...excellent bedside manner, great sense of humor, he knows his job and he does it VERY well. If you do have another child, I seriously recommend that you consider him.
Hi S.,
I understand where you are coming from. My 1st pregnancy was very rough and my 2nd one (5 years later) was twins and a C-section. I was scared to try again and my husband said if it was meant to happen we would not prevent it but would not try. It did happen and even after having a C-section years prior to this pregnancy I was able to deliver vaginally. I think you should try for the 3rd child if both of you are wanting another one. Technology has advanced so greatly that its just totally unbelieveable. I was able to develop a very trusting relationship with my new doctors and all the doctors and midwives in that office. I would do it again. I had my son(5) when I was 32 and now I am 37 and have had my tubes tied but am wanting another baby so badly, but its too expensive to have the tubal reversed. So my thought to you is don't prevent it but dont try, let nature take its course and dont be scared of having another C-section. I truly believe once you are or do get pregnant you will enjoy every moment of it.
Hi! I only have 2 children and neither were c-sections, however, I have 2 close friends that have both had 3 c-sections. Everything was fine- in fact, the third one was the easiest for both of them. My husband and I toy w/ a third too (we have 2 boy and I desperatley would love a girl- boys are fine too though). So, good luck in whatever you choose to do!!
S. - I had a c/s myself but I think if I have a small pelvis (which isn't why I had the c/s but I think that may have complicated it a bit) and I have to have c/s in the future I'd only do 3 unless my DR said it was ok.
The group I go to has several OBs who specialize in high risk care and if they don't feel like they're the best to handle it they will forward you to a maternal-fetal specialist.
It's Women's Health Alliance in Carmel. They're number is ###-###-####. I saw Dr. Amy Moon but call and talk to the scheduling department (preferably ask for Diane who is Dr. White's scheduler [Dr. White did my c/s]) and talk to them and see who'd they recommend. They're always taking new patients.
Good luck!!!!!1
S., You are a very brave lady....!!!
I have two beautiful boys, I had 2 C-sections, and the second pregnancy was very very hard, pre-eclampsia and many complications. I do not know how old you are, and that is a very important factor. My husband and I made the decision not having more babies. We wanted to have another baby very badly but, we thought about all the pros and cons, and I do not feel ready to go through the all process again... so we decided not to. I want to raise my babies and see them grow up and enjoy my family, and I know that it would be very risky to have another child at my age (I got married late in life and of course I have two boys of 6yr old and 8 mo old...while my friends have teenagers and grandsons!!!!)...
I do not want to discourage you, just I suggest you to think about it and ask about your plans to a very good doctor
..Good luck in your decision!!!!!
Alejandra
