Refusing Milk

Updated on September 24, 2008
J.A. asks from North Wales, PA
26 answers

My daughter turned two on Saturday. I decided that she did not need to be on a bottle anymore after the age of two. It was a decision my husband and I came to months before her birthday.
She only drinks milk out of the bottle three times a day. She drinks water from actual cups or cups with straws.
So, when her birthday came, I offered her milk in a cup. She refused it and asked for the bottle.
Long story short, it is now Tuesday and she has still had no milk and is still refusing to drink milk any other way but with the bottle.
I realized there would be protest.
What I would like to know is will this lack of milk harm her? Has anyone else been met with heavy resistance when removing the bottle? Did your child eventually give in and drink milk from a regular cup?

UPDATE: Still no milk drinking as of Wednesday. So, it has been 5 days now. There is no compromise here with me. She can have it in her cup with the straw or in a regular cup. I think I will try the chocolate milk idea AND the OJ idea.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

She really never took to milk again. We have begun giving her vitamins that are calcium fortified (at the recommendation of her pediatrician) due to her lack of interest in milk. I just make sure to provide her with as many foods as possible that contain calcium as she won't eat eggs, cheese or drink milk.

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B.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Good for you in sticking with it and not giving in and giving her the bottle!!! It is hard sometimes to do the right thing. Are you a milk drinker and if so have you tried to give her the same cup that you have with milk in it so that she can copy you as you drink? My daughter is into eating and drinking the same foods and drinks like I am if it is possible. Chocolate milk might be good to try but there is also that chance she won't want white milk after tasting it. Good Luck and remember each age brings its challenges but they do eventually get worked out and you move on to the next so just have patience.

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A.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.

I had the a similar issue with my 2 yrs olds, I transfered mine from a bottle to a soft tipped cup, I think Gerber makes them since it is soft it's a little easier of a transition.

They stopped being interested in milk altogether though so I also put a tiny bit of 1/2 sugar choc syrup for a little flavor.
I was able to get my 3 yr old off the choc milk while potty training and she will drink regular milk, but does perfer choc milk (so do I) so, it's not perfect but it worked for us

good luck,

A.

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would say to refuse to give her milk in the bottle. She is old enough to drink it out of a cup. Tell her if she wants milk, she will have to use her cup, if she doesn't want to do that, she won't get her milk. This won't last more than a few days. She will eventually want her milk so bad that she will drink it from a cup.

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J.N.

answers from Williamsport on

My cousin had this problem with her daughter as well. The Pediatrician told her it would not hurt her to not have milk for awhile and just "stick to your guns." Eventually she will realize that the bottle is no longer an option. If she likes her milk she will eventually give in. if you give in and give her a bottle you have lost!

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Since you held off so long with the bottle she is deeply set into a strong habit. She's going to dig her heals in at this picky age, unfortunately. You can now offer her half a complete chewable vitamin at her age to help supplement anything she may be lacking. Calcium is important in a child's growth so if she won't drink the milk for now (keep offering it to her and give her nothing else at each meal) offer her other dairy products like cheese squares, cheese slices, string cheese, yogurt, flavored milk, milk in her cheerios, cheese added with her food like ham and cheese sandwich, broccoli and cheese, any veggies and cheese, etc. Do some research online for other dairy product foods to help get her calcium in until she finally gives up her power struggle and gets thirsty enough to drink the milk.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
Events, happenings and chat!

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Lots of foods have calcium in them so not drinking milk for a few days or even longer won't cause any damage. It would be good to offer yogurt and cheese and OJ with calcium though. When my daughter weaned from the breast at 13 months she refused any milk of any kind or flavor. She ate tons of other dairy items and my pediatrician was fine with it. At 5 my daughter still really doesn't like milk. She occasionally likes soymilk (that's all my son will drink) and on rare occasions she'll drink a few sips of cow's milk for preschool snack. We can't really blame her though as my husband and I don't like milk either. She'll be fine nutritionally.

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J.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter did the same thing when we took her bottles away around 20 months, and refused to drink milk from any cup (I tried them all!) until she turned 3! My pediatrician told us that lack of milk isn't a problem - but to offer calcium rich foods in other ways. You KNOW your daughter likes milk though, so this is just a power struggle. Be persistent in offering her milk from cups, but don't force it. She will hopefully come around eventually, but in the meantime offer cheese, yogurts, broccoli, calcium fortified fruit bars, drinkable yogurts (my daughter's favorite is Yoplait Kid's), etc. They even make calcium fortified Goldfish crackers! Put milk in everything you can - scrambled eggs, oatmeal, fruit smoothies in the summer. We also give our daughter a daily chewable calcium supplement. What worked for us to get her to drink milk again was to finally get persistent. When our daughter originally put up SUCH a fight, we figured, "oh well, she won't drink it". Now I wish I could go back and just keep trying. Put milk in a cup and offer that ONLY at every meal (and limit other fluids throughout the day to encourage her to drink the milk). Tell her that "big girls" don't drink from bottles. We'd encourage our daughter to just take one sip, and give great praise and clap when she did. After several months of her only drinking a few sips at mealtimes, she'll now drink a full glass at dinner. She still drinks a drinkable yogurt at lunch, however.
Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.,

My 4 year old did the same thing. When I took the bottle away at 17 months she did not drink milk ever again. She had gotten a stomach virus and wound up in the hospital and they gave her juice in a bottle. That was the last time she drank milk. Anyway, she is 4 now and we give her a lot of dairy foods. I am having trouble getting my 17 month old twins off of the bottle. They are, like her, refusing to drink it out of a cup. I am thinking I am going to have to do it cold turkey for them also and just give them dairy products too. Good luck!
R.

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J.K.

answers from Harrisburg on

She will be just fine. Put the dairy in her diet in other ways. Or feed her calcium rich vegtables to get her intake to what it should be. Dont' worry about her protest. She will either drink milk or she won't. She's 2, and she's trying to have a power struggle. You don't need to reason with her, you don't need to make concessions to her either. The bottle is gone, the cup is here to stay. Throw away (recycle/donate) the bottles. If she sees tham she will think that she can have them. At 2 her logic and reasoning skills are only in their basic stages. Don't worry about her happiness as yourgoal...it didn't work out that well for Verucia Salt :)

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R.G.

answers from York on

J.,
I have posted on this general topic several times. Here is some great information to help you decide how to proceed with your daughter's diet.

*********

If she has a varied diet, you shouldn't worry. Dairy is probably the worst way to put calcium in your diet since pasteurized milk products have been altered by the process as to render the calcium almost unusable by the human body. Water is still the best way to hydrate. Avoid juice if you can, as it's not necessary for hydration, or nutrition.

Here are some options for calcium rich foods to add to her diet if she's not already eating some of them. Also, organic sources are always best if they can be had.

The calcium contained in leafy green vegetables is more easily absorbed than the calcium in milk, and plant proteins do not result in calcium loss (yes, calcium LOSS) the same way as animal proteins do.

Calcium content of foods per 100-gram portion (100 grams equals about 3.5 ounces):

01. Human Breast Milk 33 mg (shown for comparison)

02. Almonds 234 mg
03. Amaranth 267 mg
04. Apricots (dried) 67 mg
05. Artichokes 51 mg
06. Beans (can: pinto, black) 135 mg
07. Beet greens (cooked) 99 mg
08. Blackeye Peas 55 mg
09. Bran 70 mg
10. Broccoli (raw) 48 mg
11. Brussel Sprouts 36 mg
12. Buckwheat 114 mg
13. Cabbage (raw) 49 mg
14. Carrot (raw) 37 mg
15. Cashew nuts 38 mg
16. Cauliflower (cooked) 42 mg
17. Swiss Chard (raw) 88 mg
18. Chickpeas (garbanzos) 150 mg
19. Collards (raw leaves) 250 mg
20. Cress (raw) 81 mg
21. Dandelion Greens 187 mg
22. Endive 81 mg
23. Escarole 81 mg
24. Figs (dried) 126 mg
25. Filberts (Hazelnuts) 209 mg
26. Kale (raw leaves) 249 mg
27. Kale (cooked leaves) 187 mg
28. Leeks 52 mg
29. Lettuce (lt. green) 35 mg
30. Lettuce (dark green) 68 mg
31. Molasses (dark-213 cal.) 684 mg
32. Mustard Greens (raw) 183 mg
33. Mustard Greens (cooked) 138 mg
34. Okra (raw or cooked) 92 mg
35. Olives 61 mg
36. Oranges (Florida) 43 mg
37. Parsley 203 mg
38. Peanuts (roasted & salted) 74 mg
39. Peas (boiled) 56 mg
40. Pistachio Nuts 131 mg
41. Potato Chips 40 mg
42. Raisins 62 mg
43. Rhubarb (cooked) 78 mg
44. Sauerkraut 36 mg
45. Sesame Seeds 1160 mg
46. Squash (Butternut) 40 mg
47. Soybeans 60 mg
48. Sugar (brown) 85 mg
49. Tofu 128 mg
50. Spinach (raw) 93 mg
51. Sunflower Seeds 120 mg
52. Sweet Potatoes (baked) 40 mg
53. Turnips (cooked) 35 mg
54. Turnip Greens (raw) 246 mg
55. Turnip Greens (boiled) 184 mg
56. Water Cress 151 mg

Best of luck,

Rolinda
Wife, Mother, Friend

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,
She probably really associates milk with her bottle. Don't go back to the bottle. Keep offering milk in a sippy or other cup with a straw (you can even warm it up a little). She'll get it. This is just a little protest march she's on right now. What I did was get rid of all the bottles so there was NO temptation to go back. Just give her yogurt, cheese, OJ with calcium, etc. while she wages this battle. I'm betting it won't last too much longer. Hang in there! You are doing the right thing. She will be fine. She's getting too old for a bottle. Good luck!

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K.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son did the same thing when he turned 2. He was happily drinking 2 bottles of milk a day while drinking juice and all other beverages from a sippy cup to absolutely refusing milk in a sippy or just taking a few sips. The only thing that worked for me was to buy "CARS" sippy cups (because that his favorite movie) and he completely forgot about his bottle. Of course he still doesn't drink quite as much as he did from a bottle - I think the bottle was more of a comfort thing - but he's fine. He also likes sippy cups with a straw. We did fine for a few days until my four year old daughter reminded him that he drank milk from a bottle not a cup like her and I had to sush her as fast as I could. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

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A.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J....my duaghters WOULDN'T drink milk out of a cup either but instead of forcing them, I tried to supplement the lack of milk with other dairy products such as yogurt and cheese everyday. I also try to give them cereal...they get a little milk in that way too...good luck!

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K.E.

answers from Reading on

Does she show any interest in drinking what you drink? My stubborn son refused to drink milk from a cup (we didn't use sippies - he refused) but if I had a cup with a straw, he would always be very interested and inevitably would drink some of mine. Put a couple of straws in a cup of milk, pretend to drink it and see if she's curious. You might even tell her it's mommy's special milk, but if she's a good girl you'll share it with her. Add some intrige to it - maybe even call it something different like Moo Juice. Then she won't feel as if she's lost the battle! lol

K.

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K.W.

answers from Scranton on

J.,
I'd offer her only milk (no water) and in cups only for the next couple of days. She's doing this as a control thing, but she will "give in" and drink from a cup. Perhaps try chocolate milk in a cup to get her interested and get the milk in her until she starts with the white milk again.
I told my son that I got a letter in the mail (you could even produce a fake letter) that said that 2 year olds are not allowed to drink from a bottle. That milk is necessary for healthy bones and to grow big and strong like mommy and daddy. My son was fascinated in the police, so when we were out at a restaurant, I said in front of some cops sitting near us, "there are the police, they want to make sure everyone is being healthy and drinking their milk and eating their food." It really motivated him. We are doing the same thing for his third birthday with feeding himself. Sometimes he insists that we feed him, but I told him that all 3 year olds have to feed themselves. So, when his birthday comes, he's prepared that we will not help feed him anymore.
Good luck.

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

She'll be fine with the lack of milk for a short period of time, because you can't go back to the bottle. My pediatrician told me that at 15 months they should be bottle free, so she definitely needs to be done with it for now. Try to have her pick out a sippy cup just for her milk. Maybe being able to choose what she drinks her milk out of will make a difference. Stick to your guns and know that this is just a phase.

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K.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Excuse me right up front for being harsh, but you did this to yourself! She should have been off bottle altogether by 14months or so. Now you've made this part of her routine. A year ago you could have shaped her routine much easier than you can now. A 2 year old remembers much more than a 1 year old.
My only advice now is to replace the bottle with something she likes, and just throw the bottles away. Explain to her that only babies use bottles and now that she's 2 she can't have them any more. You will have to deal with some bad behavior, but she'll eventually deal with it as long as you are consistant. Remember - she's having a hard time because of your decision not to get her off the bottle sooner. So have patience - It's not her fault!

M.L.

answers from Erie on

what kind of cup are you using? That really made a difference for us. If you get the kind that are closer looking to a bottle, it may make the transition easier. Ours refused the cup too, but eventually he got thirsty and used it! She'll transition soon enough...maybe try an exercise and let her "throw away" her bottles? Or "mail" them to babies that need them more than she does?

I would think that lack of milk is not a good thing. Maybe get your ped involved and see if they have any ideas. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

TRANSITION!!! instead of doing cold turkey, why don't you start by removing one bottle (middle of the day) then then slowing take away the other two? Most likely take away middle of the day, AM and then PM. it's not just milk that your daughter is missing. it's the comfort of the bottle. i really say go back to the bottle and slowly take it away. that is usually what your pediatrician would tell you.

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J.O.

answers from Philadelphia on

i'm sorry to say this but thats why they say to eliminate the bottle around 1. the linger you wait the harder to wean from these little headstrong individuals. do not give in!!! and if anything do not give her anything else to drink. if she's thirsty she'll have to drink the milk from a cup. only offer her milk all day in a cup. good luck.

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W.B.

answers from Allentown on

My suggestion would be try a different cup that is more like a bottle well at least the "nips" would be softer. When I switched my daughter we used was gerber cups, they were blue and some had handles and some didn't and the sipper part was soft and she loved it and we gradually keep moving her to harder ones. They were similar to

http://www.gerber.com/Products/NUK_Learner_Cup.aspx?PLine...

I bought ours at walmart, hope this helps! Good Luck

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K.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son was EXACTLY the same way. He only wanted milk from the bottle! Luckily, he likes foods like cheese, yogurt and broccoli which are all excellent sources of calcium. And he takes a multi vitamin. He has milk with cereal, and will occasionally get chocolate milk in his sippy cup (a real treat). As long as calcium and vitamin D are in the diet in other forms... milk is no biggie. You can even get OJ with added calcium!

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A.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well J.,
These are tough times huh??? My daughter Jordan had the exact same issue. She's now 7 but still doesn't drink milk unless she's dipping her oreos in it!!! But when she was 2 we did heat the milk in the sippy cup up for about 25 seconds and that worked like a charm. She drank her milk like that for about 4 years. But the problem now is that when we took the sippy cup away, she no longer wanted the milk...heated up in a straw cup or not. But at least all those years she was drinking it. Hope that works for you and your baby...good luck!!!

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

my son stop doing the bottle by himself when he was seven months old. he took right to a sippy cup. he did not like to drink milk very much but does like vanilla soy. in answer to your question about the no milk thing,make sure she has calcium from other sources too such as cheese and yogurt. do not give in with the bottle thing.eventually she will drink everything out of the sippy cup. you are the parent she is the child. try the silk vanilla soy and see what she does. if she likes it the cheapest place to buy it is from sams club. do not call it soy milk,call it something else and see if that works.

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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

Welcome to the two's! She will be fine. She knows her milk was the bottle. My daughter also was bottle free two weeks before turning two years of age. Maybe give her some choc soy milk in cup mixed with reg milk just a few times a day. Cheese, yogurt, ect... calcium fortified. They are something else aren't they?! We think that we are in control, and then this happenes, and we second guess who really is in control?! Giggles. Do not go back to bottle. Cups with straws are wonderful! You are doing a great job, and she will drink milk out of a cup again. I promise.

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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son did the same thing, although it was when he was a little older and it was with a sippy cup. He would drink only milk, and only out of a sippy. Then I decided he was too old for a sippy. His brother always loved milk and still does and drinks it out of a cup. But he hasn't had milk sice the sippy went away a few years ago. We found other ways for calcium....yougurt, cheese so on,
What I'm saying is it will be fine. If you really can't get other foods into her, your ped. will tell you what to do.
Good luck

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