Really Need Encouragement

Updated on December 07, 2012
D.D. asks from Goodyear, AZ
8 answers

My husband wants to(OR is) participate in a MLM, I do not want anything to do with it. I don't think they are good. I don't like depending on other people to make a profit. They are just not for me. He is however being motivated, encouraged and edified by this group. He is blamming me for the lack of profit in his business because it is a team. If I don't supoort support him and this business I am pushin him to divorce. WHOA! What??

He is gone every Monday night meetings, and every third Saturday for seminars and every chance he has to go show the plan to prospects.

Our 5 yr old little girl was crying on Monday night, I asked what was wrong. She replied I have not seen my daddy all day. :( His reply the next morning was daddy is out doing something to benefit our family.

I suppor thim on everything else in life. THis is one that I joined with him, but once I figured everything out, it was NOT for me. I want to tell these people in his team to leave him alone. One MOnday night I stopped them from taking him with them because of the text that our teeangeer shared that dad was going to divorce me. OOOh that made him mad cause I embarressed him. I told the leader that night I don't care if I offened you when my marriage is being questioned I am going to fight for it.

How would you tell these people to leave your family alone when husband is being encouraged BTW his father doesn't agree with it either, and when I told my husband I shared it with him, it even made him more upset.

What can I do next?

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answers from Columbus on

Wow, I don't know what I would do. I'm 100% against those companies and I would be very frustrated if my husband wanted to do one. But neither one of us would EVER get into a financial endeavor without the complete support of the other. For him to threaten divorce, to choose this business over you, suggests that this has very little to do with you. This smacks of midlife crisis. Good luck -- I'll be curious what responses you get.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

For him to threaten divorce because you won't continue to participate in a pyramid scheme is childish. It's also short-sighted.

The only people who make money in these schemes are the people at the very, very top. If your husband is required to put money into this company in order to get anything out of it, he's getting scammed and he'll never see a return on that money.

They're aggressive and unfortunately family values isn't an asset for them. A friend and former neighbor tried to reel us in several months ago, thinking we'd go for it because my husband had been out of work for a while. They were shocked that we didn't lap up working with them nor did we lap up their products. Too bad for them we've seen this shite before.

You need to sit down with a financial counselor... a real one from a real bank or a place like Edward Jones or JP Morgan Chase or Morgan Stanley Dean Whitter. You should also sit down with a marriage counselor. It's that serious. He's trying to emotionally blackmail you into following through on a bad, bad, bad decision.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I think you should ask your husband for counseling. People can get caught up in the pyramid schemes REALLY badly - as in loosing their families, quitting their jobs and never getting paid a dime. Did you know that less than 1% of people in MLM even ever qualify for commission? It may be legal but it is nothing other than a big fat Ponzi Scheme.

I don't buy from companies that do MLM and for sure I would NEVER be ok with DH doing it. EVER!
I hope you can get him out of there....

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Okay, first you need to distinguish between Multi-Level Marketing (Direct Sales), Ponzi schemes, and pyramids!

1) Pyramids are illegal.

2) Ponzi schemes do not involve a product that people get for their money. Madoff had a Ponzi scheme - people paid money but got nothing back. The top investors got paid with the investments of the lower-down folks.

3) MLM doesn't "depend on others to make a profit" any more than any other brick-and-mortar business. My supermarket doesn't make any money unless people buy the stuff on the shelves! Neither does my lawyer or my doctor or the local movie theater. There are good MLM companies, and a lot of terrible ones. There are good/bad restaurants, good/bad department stores, good/bad stockbrokers. And all of those companies have a lot of levels so they are multi-level as well! Take the supermarket - between the farm and the consumer, we have the many layers of harvest, food broker, manufacture, packaging, transport, warehouse, advertising, overhead, staffing, materials at point of sale, bricks & mortar, and much more. And if the CEO is making a lot more money than the worker bees, and the worker bee has NO chance of making a lot of money, it's a corporate model with is the worst pyramid of all. If, on the other hand, distributors make more money that the president, if they can rise up based on their own efforts rather than corporate largesse, then you have a great MLM company that exemplifies terrific values.

Some of the best companies are MLM companies - Mary Kay, Avon, Fuller Brush, Reliv, and many others. Check the Direct Selling Association for the top 200 companies invited in for their ethical business practices, good compensation plans, and happy distributors. And find out how they've been written up in the nation's business magazines. You can always find something negative on the internet, but that's often from disgruntled distributors or people who've been kicked out because they were unethical. Use objective sources. For example - if Business Week and Forbes have written them up, if Success From Home magazine has featured them prominently, if they have a high distributor detention rate (15% is the norm, so if you find one with a 50% or 60% retention rate), that's awesome. (Most regular companies can't claim that they have kept 60% of their employees over 20 years, for example!) Are bonuses only for those who have been in the company for a long time, or is there a pool of bonus money open to new people as well? Do some people make more than the person who sponsored them? If so, that's a GREAT company where people get paid for what they do, and all the money doesn't go up the line!

Your husband may be in a bad MLM and you should definitely investigate. It's not just whether people are getting a product or a service for their investment. I'd look at the up-front investment ($25 is great, $15,000 is ridiculous), whether that investment is guaranteed (e.g. a 1 year 90% buy-back is phenomenal), whether there is FREE training, whether there are unreasonable restrictions on commissions and overrides and bonuses such that those often pass up to the upline or (worse) the company if you don't do a b or c, if there are quotas and monthly minimums, and a lot more. Is the company publicly traded? If so, there has been no complaint by any of the 50 State Attorneys General. Again - go for official information and not random internet claims.

A crying child is normal - that doesn't make him wrong. But threatening divorce and the public stuff is wrong. Leave your FIL out of it for now - that's going behind your husband to involve his father.

I think your problem is communication with your husband. If you want more help identifying things to check about the company, let me know.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

I'm so sorry, sounds like a cult to me. Scary!!!



answers from San Francisco on

Hang in there. I know its tough. I would sit down and tell your husband how you feel. Tell him that you though this was the business for you but as you have researched it further, you changed your mind. Tell him you are happy he is excited about this but you have major concerns and just don't think it is right to start a business without everyone on board--the whole family--including children~ This will change family time, finances, home life, stress etc. in both negative and potentially positive ways. Then see what he says....Tell him how you feel and go from there.



answers from Salt Lake City on

I would have to completely agree with Diane. Do some real research, not all MLM are bad. I am involved with doTERRA essential oils, and it would be considered a MLM. I do make money, and it is not a scam. Besides I am helping my family and friends with it's amazing products. Do your research and hopefully he will listen to your findings and you can move in the proper direction from your results.

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