Ready for Preschool?

Off the cuff...I'd say she sounds ready.

A BIG part of preschool is learning appropriate social interaction under gentle guidance. Kids naturally learn from each other as well as the adults. If your daughter's only examples are infants and younger toddlers...she has no role models of older children, or children who themselves have role models in older children. Crying that's appropriate for a one year old, when mimicked by a 3 year old is a raging tantrum. Her tantrums *may* merely be her acting as she sees is appropriate. Of course, they could be because she's bored, tired, insecure, jealous, not getting enough attention, going through an independant phase, being asked too much of, etc. Generally when I have a this or that question involving my OWN child, the answer is yes. No, not one or the other...but a combo of all of the above. Sigh. They just don't make it easy on us, do they?

One thing to consider...is going halfway. This can also let you be more flexible in your preschool choice...since many preschools are preschools only, and not preschool/daycare.

What WE did (the caps are because every family is different), was to start my son with 3 days a week in preschool half days. Then his primary daycare provider picked him up and he spent the afternoons with her. We gradually lengthened the days and increased the number of days in preschool. Our PCP continued to pick him up one day a week, because we chose to keep her as an important influence in his life (and to give me an afternoon off! although, it was mostly because we wanted to keep her and my son together).

That might or might not work with your schedule. But if you or someone else you trust could pick your daughter up from one and take her to the other...she both gets her "special time" at big-girl school, and the comfort of the familiar. So too, you may be better able to tell where she's "at".

Just a thought.

I.,

I have to agree with Susan about the communication...talk to your daughter and her Dad about a game plan. Being a big sister is hardwork, and can be confusing to a toddler. As a big sister, I was confused being 3.5 and not getting WHY my sister got ALL the attention...but, my parents found ways to include me in the NEEDS of the baby and make me the 'big helper'.

To the preschool thing, it's all about the kiddo. My son will be 3 in July and I put him in preschool two days a week for four hours. But, he was REALLy ready to be around kids his own age and I found a local program that seperated the kids by age/peer group...no age mix. My liitle guy loves it! His verbal skills have improved ten fold and he loves hanging out with the guys at school.

I used to work in a preschool and yes, some kids just aren't ready for that kind of environment. Especially with tantrums and seperation issues but, if you find a program and a great teacher this might help your girl get past her sibling frustration.

Work on the sibling stuff and do research on your local programs...couldn't hurt to find out.

Good luck!

With all the changes at home, it's best to keep her as close to her routine as possible. Changing to another place will make matters worse. The more time that she can spend in a home, the better. No one can teach and love her like you, but a home sitter is a better than a school.

2's engage in what is called Parrallel Play. A 2 year old child will play with toys next to another child, also playing with toys. When one of them takes the other's toys, it's all over. There is no cooperative play between them. Ihis doesn't occur to around age 4, sometimes older 3's. Your daughter has the rest of her life to be in school. let her enjoy this time to just be her and figure out herself. If you're worried about "curriculum", offer to help out the sitter for fun things to do. Sensory, gross and small motor development, music, and repetitive games and chants are great activites for her age. There is so much that can be taught at home.

I work at a daycare. 2 year olds do not need socialization. They need love, attention, consistency and guidance. At this age, they are all about themselves, what toy they want and when they get to eat. There is little one on one time in daycare, especially when teachers can have up to 24 kids in a class. A group of 2 year olds don't interact together, they steal toys, throw tantrums, occasionally bite in between stortime and crafts. I know that sounds harsh and grumpy but it is a reality. I sadly see it everyday.

Hi I., I am a daycare provider as well also a mom for 25 years, and I would have to agree with your provider, 2 1/2 is to young for preschool, preschool is usually from age 3 to 5, if your daughter throws tatrums, she doesn't have the maturity for preschool. If you feel she is not being stimulated look for a home daycare that offers preschool activity's and does kindergarten rediness, that's what I offer in my daycare. This provider really needs to work on your daughter's tatrums, they will get worse as she get's older if there is no counsenquiences for them, I have 5 kids right now in my care and none of them throw tatrums, I nip that in the bud day one, and my kids know I will not tollerate tatrums, a lot of parents think they are normal, but it's actually a fit of anger. Give her a little more time, in daycare, work on the tatrums, becasue since preschool is not mandatory, I doubt that they will keep her, since you pay this provider ask her to start working with your daughter. Does she know all of her colors, alphabit, does she count? these are sll things your provider should be helping her with, but not all providers offer an educational inviroment. If not try and find one in
your area that does. J.

I would say leave her where she is she is still young why rush her. Also you will be making things for yourself more difficult having 2 drop off & pick ups. If your daughter is having a hard time adjusting another new change may not be the best idea right now. Another thing to consider is she will most likely bring home way more germs/viruses if she is at an actual daycare center. If your worried she isn't getting enough out of daycare buy some learning games & activities the dollar tree sells a lot of great things and ask your home provider to use a few a day. I have 3 kids now 17,15,& 6 the older two didn't go to pre-school until 4 years old and my youngest started at about 3.5 in a parent participation school part-time only 2 days a week they all have done fine. Pre-School should be about learning how to share & get along with others not just learning ABC & Numbers these things can & should be taught through every day play. Good luck

As a mother of 3 little ones..... I would hold off on the preschool until she is a little older. The last thing you want to do is set her up for failer. If she is experssing herself with tantrums that should be addressed before going to preschool. Both of mine have done preschool at 4 when they were really ready to be able to express with words and come up with a direct solution to what the issue is. And with her little brother try to involve her in helping and being a big sister is cool and fun and that you make mommy and daddy proud of her with all her help.. It helped us....

There are probably more than 1 reason for her recent behavior:
- frustration, communication ability/inability per her age, being the oldest amongst younger kids, boredom, adjusting to her sibling (for sure), she is now in the twos' stage and its developmentally hard by nature, lack of structure (being 'busy' is not the same as being appropriately stimulated), lack of sleep and lack of naps, over-stimulation, lack of food, being tired etc.

And at any given time, ALL these things can really tweak a 2 year old.

I personally think, it would probably be nice for her to be among her own age group. BUT, at this age, many preschools or daycare facilities have "mixed age" groups. Or, it may be segregated by age, thus, different classes. So, you'd have to look into that... and see what school format would be best for her.

Going to her 'own' school, may be a bright spot for her... something special JUST for her, and yes, away from her sibling. This is beneficial as well. My daughter, started preschool at 3 almost 4 years old...BUT at a time when I was going to give birth to my 2nd child. My daughter LOVED LOVED LOVED her preschool and going. It was her own special time... and her own special friends and activities. But, she was ready for it per her age. She even told me she wanted to go to school already.

But, yes, like any child, they tantrum. But what is the cause? What is the trigger? There is always a cause and a trigger. So figure this out. EVEN IN SCHOOL, a toddler can do this... but that does not necessarily mean they "cannot" go to school. BUT, you have to gauge her 'readiness' and maturity for it. EACH child is different, no matter what their age is.

Have you simply ASKED your daughter what is wrong? Why she tantrums? Why she feels a certain way? Just talk with her and ask her, without judgment.
AND if she needs helps in adjusting to her sibling, which is common... then she will need more time with you and quality time. Somehow.
Bear in mind, that 'complete' adjustment to a new sibling can take time.... sometimes years. (my sister was like that). So it is an ongoing process....

What does your Hubby think?
talk with your daughter about it... see what she says... although she is just 2, she can perhaps in her own way, say something as to whether she likes or does not like her current situation. No matter what, a child likes to know they can have some input or at least have help about it.

If it were me, I would figure out what is triggering my child to be angry/frustrated and acting out. Then, I would consider my options and research it and preschools I have in mind, Then I would visit the preschools, with my child. Then I would review it and see where my child would fit in best, then I would discuss it with Hubby of course, then I would see what my child thought and how she reacted, then I would make a decision. AND in tandem with this, help her to adjust to any difficulties she may have in adjusting to being an "eldest" sibling (they can feel pressured by it and stressed), and then I would make a plan for helping her... perhaps a cute little calendar just for her and Mommy so that she knows that you both have plans together and she has something to look forward to.

PERHAPS, since she is the 'oldest' one at her home-care... maybe she is getting too much on her plate and too many expectations placed upon her???? Maybe, is she made 'responsible" for the younger ones? Or scolded more? Or stressed in any way? Is she HAPPY there? You might want to consider these things too. If there is only ONE care-provider for those 6 kids, maybe your daughter is by default, expected to 'assist?" I don't know...
And maybe she is just too busy there? Not enough down-time or nap time or what not. Is your daughter's "busy time" just self-led, or is there a routine and schedule and structure to the day? Some kids need this, or they get frustrated and 'lost' in the shuffle.

Really, ask your daughter what she does there... ALL day. And if she is happy there? Next, WHY does your daughter tantrum 'over every little thing' as they Provider says? THEN, what is done about it? What does the Provider do at these times, how does she discipline or not? Your Provider, MUST know why she is having tantrums. Or maybe she just needs more attentiveness.

I know for you, since you are a working Mom, you 'need' to put your daughter somewhere... I know it's not easy...

*On second thought, maybe changing her care provider now and having a new sibling all the same time, might be too much 'change' for her. I don't know...

All the best,
Susan

I think with all the changes in her life, with her brother arriving, the last thing she needs is another change. As long as she is happy there, I'd leave her there. A preschool will not tolerate tantrums like a daycare will. Also, the fact that she is the "big girl and/or helper" 3 days a week is good for her. I have found that when kids go into preschool (under 3) they get put in the "baby" catagory which will not help her progress. If you feel very strongly about her going to preschool, talk more to them about where she will be placed and what kind of activities they will be doing with her. Bottom line - you have to do what you feel is best for your daughter. Have faith in your feelings and make an educated decision! Good luck!

I just posted something similar to this myself, My daughter who is 2 1/2 started preschool (3 days a week) last Wednesday. She was also in a home day care environment and now transitioning to a more school based learning environment. I think that's the whole point.. the fact of her moving on to a school will enable her to inteact with children her own age and learn to be a little more independant. It's great for them to start learning NEW things and participating in classroom educational activities instead of watching T.V, videos or playing all day.