Preschool for My Daughter??

Yep, tell your husband you are a business owner and must give your business your attention. Then put your daughter in a preschool. He does not understand that preschool is about much more than learning a few ABC and 123s that he thinks you should be able to cram into your day; it's actually MUCH more about social skills; learning to follow directions; learning to stop one activity and move to a different one when asked; and learning to do all these things when directed by a person who is NOT your parents. These are vital skills for being ready for kindergarten. You can't provide all that even if you want to, because you are running a business with younger children who require your attention.

Your husband, by the way, should be doing homework with your son at least some of the time--maybe most of the time; he should help you visit and look into local preschools for your daughter; and he should stop the "You're home, you have time to do this" attitude. I'm sure he means well but he has no real idea of what you have to do all day, does he?

I would strongly consider preschool since it sounds like your daughter doesn't see you as enough of an authority figure to want to cooperate when it comes to trying to get her to listen and pay attention. My daughter is better cooperating for other adults than she is with me and teachers are trained to be able to handle kids this age in a classroom setting. Not that she does NOT cooperate for me, but her being at home is more about her doing her own thing when able, and preschool is more structured, which she needs. My daughter is also 4 and will sometimes give me a hard time or dawdle and stall when I'm trying to get her to do something, but NEVER for her teacher! I've always felt that for most kids, preschool is essential for getting ready for kindergarten, so they can learn to be okay being away from mom, being in a larger group of kids the same age, and being expected to listen to a teacher and take directions. I would also see what other responses you get and consider sharing them with your hubby so he may see your side of it. I always love how some men seem to think that just we are home with the kids we have all this free time on our hands and are not pulled in a million directions all at once.

You are already working hard to watch 4 other kids during the day so how would have the extra time and energy to "work" on teaching her more than a few minutes here and there? I would put her is some kind of preschool program even if it is only 2-3 half days. She needs the classroom structure to be ready for Kindergarten. I started K with no preschool and felt like I was starting behind all the other kids. My son is in K now and he will follow directions in a group setting but would give me a hard time at home. Even easy homework is a battle. Preschool taught him a tremendous amount about following classroom rules and getting along with peers.

Also, working at night is not a good idea-- both you and your daughter are too tired (people usually concentrate best in the morning--even night people like me) . Maybe you could get the little ones to color or "play school" for a short while but that is just a temporary measure.

It seems like your daughter might benefit a lot from having a peer group of kids her own age, and from having a new authority figure and a new structure/routine. Assuming she'll be starting kindergarten next fall, she'll be expected to sit down and focus on things for a much longer period of time. I'd be less concerned about her knowing specific things, and more concerned about her developing concentration and listening skills. Preschool sounds like a great solution for you guys.

I agree with Miranda. Put her in somewhere 3 days a week. She needs the social skills that are expected in Kindergarten. And the letters, numbers, etc. won't hurt either.

And BTW - you seem to have one job as a daycare provider, remind your hubby that a preschool teacher is a second job on top of the first one. Perhaps he should be teaching her at night when he gets home?? :)

She has outgrown home child care and is ready for more interaction and challenges. Call your local schools and find out if there are still any openings in their pre-K classes. Our Pre-K class added a new one this week and lost 2 last week due to work transfers for their parents.

If she knows how to write her name and knows her basic shapes and colors, I would lay off the formal lessons. I am a teacher but currently a full time SAHM and my son does NOT want me to teach him anything. He resists and fights pretty much every time I try. I think our kids (yours and mine) need us to be moms more than teachers. I believe in the value of preschool for socialization and following a routine and rules in a school-like setting, and I am guessing she gets some of that routine already with your business- things like you take turns, wait for the teacher to be ready before you ask a questions, standing in line, etc. Honestly, she needs time to play and explore. Try making your "lesson" with her be artsy creative kinds of things that the younger ones can't do, if you do any lessons at all. She doesn't need worksheets and stuff- there'll be time for that in kindergarten. Don't sweat it! And good luck with the hubby. I don't think he will like my idea.

As a mom of 4- 3, 5, 7 and 9 yrs. old- I think you are fine! But I do have some advice if that's ok. I agree with part of the responses you've received but not all. We had our older kids in preschool 2 days/wk. It was ok- fun, expensive and not very educational (which was ok except for the expensive part). Because I'm an active mom- taking the kids to museums, parks, playgrounds, biking etc..., I realize that they get as much stimulation from hanging out, even going grocery shopping and everyday things- just being together, especially if they have a sibling or a few to play with. When I pulled my 3rd kid out of the 2 day preschool, I did worry and everyone told me "you have to get her in preschool, she needs kids her own age to be with".... when I took a deep breath, I decided NO- I would take her and her little bro around with me just running errands and it was FINE- better than fine - it's been great! Now she's in Kinder and I notice how grateful she seems to be able to go to school- where for other kids it's routine, like "yeah whatever, I've been in school for years". Basically what I'm saying is keep doing what you're doing! and maybe she can be more of a helper to mommy at your day care and she'll feel so good about herself. Kids do not need preschool- if the parents have to bc of work fine. If there are no siblings or kids around or fun things to do, or maybe a depressed mom who doesn't like to take them anywhere, then preschool is super important, BUT you keep doing what you are doing - and what a great fun stimulating environment for her to be able to be around toys and fun and artwork all day everyday. It will make Kinder. so special when she goes!!! Best of luck..

She needs preschool.
With her own age children.

You have a business.
Your Husband has to realize... you are not ONLY there for your daughter... but HAVE TO attend to the other kids there.
You are not a one-on-one, Adult in the house with your child. There are other kids there.

Your daughter needs interaction with her own age children. And learning from a "Teacher." It will prepare her, for Kindergarten.

I am a SAHM.
I also home schooled my kids.
BUT they both went to Preschool. They LOVED it. AND they learned a ton and it PREPARED them for Kindergarten. Thus, because they went to Preschool, once the went to Kindergarten, they adjusted.... well.

Your Husband, has to be willing to realize the benefits for your child, of a Preschool.
You have a Daycare. And those kids are younger.
Your child is ALMOST 5 years old!
That is a HUGE difference, developmentally, with the other kids you care for.
My son and daughter, entered Kindergarten at 4 years old, and turned 5 shortly after. They were perfectly fine, and ready.

And your Husband, is wrong.

Your Daughter, NEEDS Preschool.
And some Preschools, have year round enrollment.

IF your Husband was the one doing what you are doing, and the expectations of schooling your child at home... I bet, HE could not even do that.
It is NOT easy. Not when you are a childcare provider in your home. Your responsibilities are per the other kids there. Who are much younger, than your own child.

Ask your husband to do it since he thinks it's so easy. She needs social interaction with kids her own age. My son goes to preschool 3 hours and day and it's perfect for him. Maybe look into some part time programs for her.

You should definitely do preschool and this might help your night time problem too. When my daughter started preschool she was so tired and started to sleep really well though the night in her own room. Tell your husband if he wants some alone time with you at night... your daughter needs preschool. :)

Some school districts offer a free transitional kindergarten program for kids with birthdays around this time. Check your district office.

My mom was a SAHM of 5. I didn't know my letters or how to write my name going into K. I knew the alphabet as a song only. My siblings and I all learned to read by 1st grade. I know it's a bit different now adays, but I think your daughter will be fine. I think it's good she's playing with your niece who's almost 4. I love to see my 3 year old boy playing with his cousin who's a year older.
My son is in preschool. It's only been a couple of months, but I haven't really noticed huge changes in his interest in learning. He can write his name on the computer but has a hard time handwriting. I think it will come.

I agree w/other responses....your daughter has outgrown your daycare & needs to be around kids her own age & learn age appropriate social skills. The more you try to 'make' your daughter do K readiness books the more she's going to fight you on it. And doing it in the evening when everyone is exhausted is probably not the best idea. I see you live in Albany, I live in El Cerrito. Go on Berkleley Parents Network & look under prschools. I have had several friends send their kids to Little Village preschool right by Cornell school. The kids were happy & completely ready for K. Good luck!

I don't understand why there's fighting about it and why she's winning. You tell her to get her books and sit down for the lessons. She either does (great), or if she doesn't, then it's off to her room. This is like anything else - she does what she's told or she's punished. I don't see why this is any different than anything else. You might also try getting your 4 year old niece involved!

Put her on a schedule, even though the other kids aren't. Writing time, reading time, drawing time, paper cutting time, playdoh time. If she knows what she has to do every day, then it might be easier. She is going to need to be able to sit and do work once she starts K and right now you can ease her into the schedule.

Set the timer at the beginning of every hour. Everytime it dings, tell her its time to do work, even if it is you reading the alphabet to her.

Teaching preschoolers can actually be fun. Hopefully you can find some creative ways to teach her basics (letters, numbers, shapes, counting).