Re-toliet Training

Sounds like he has regressed somewhat. You mentioned lots of change in his life. That change is probably the reason for it. Go slow. Don't push. Celebrate if he does what he should. Don't punish if he doesn't. Without anger or punishment in your voice or actions, have him help clean up the mess, and suggest that doing his poops in the potty would eliminate the need for cleaning up the yucky mess.
What kind of "rewards" did you try?
Some kids are good with a tiny treat (a singe m&m or lifesaver candy) EACH TIME. Some kids (older ones usually) do well with a sticker chart where they get a bigger treat (toy, trip somewhere) after a certain number of successes. Is there something that he Really Really wants (a train set, basketball, nerf gun, lego set) ?? Buy it. Show it to him. Explain that it is for when he no longer needs "pull-ups" and can use the potty full time. (no criticism or judgment - just matter of fact). Keep in mind throughout, that if the same style isn't followed at dad's house on the weekends, it will take longer. If mom and dad are recently separated, he is going through a lot, and is probably just trying to maintain some control of SOMETHING in his life, so don't force or punish.
Best wishes to you all.

Well when I was pregnant with my daughter I had to really get my son toilet trained and I had the same problem. Pee was fine - but the poop...not so much! Well I had him stand in the bath tub and clean his own underwear. I felt bad at first - but I had to get him fully toilet trained for his daycare. It WORKED! He got tired of that and he did it. He is now 13 - and to me it was like yesterday. Good Luck - keep me posted.

A.

Look up "anal retentive" He's too old to be pooping in his pants. What's dad doing to encourage the boy? I see so many potty-training inquiries that have to do with mommies only. I have three boys and told my husband "take care of it"...they want to be like their dad (and this is where they learn to leave the seat up...) and dad should take some responsibility for the toilet training. I do not agree with punishing, as it only builds shame and discomfort. Praise when he does, and make him clean it up when he doesn't. ie, he poops his pants, then gently explain and show what he must do: dump the poop in the toilet, wrap the soiled underwear in a baggie, throw it out or rinse soiled clothing in the sink, then put in the washing machine...all the steps necessary to teach what's involved when all he has to do is sit on the toilet, wipe and flush! Easy!
He should also be able to bathe by himself at 4...with some supervision...a knock on the OPEN door every few minutes. I would iron or do bookkeeping in my room which was just outside the bathroom while they bathed themselves. I would assist with the water temp but would announce "it's your private time, I will be just outside the bathroom working"...and then he picks out his pajamas, brushes teeth. It's the most tedious job I've ever held (except for hotel management, those whiners)
but it's imperative that we raise responsible, honest and decent human beings. Communicate this to mom and dad and children. It's everyone's concern, not just yours to shoulder.
God bless you in your task and I wish you many blessings.
S.

Grandma, you are doing a good thing.....be patient with this child. More than likely he is reacting to some change in his life; some psychological stress. Toddlers and preschoolers react to stress by "regressing" that is, going backward in development to a more comfortable "baby" stage, because that is familiar to them. Fix what is going on in his life.....make his home life as smooth and stable as possible....and the potty problem should fix itself. Don't keep nagging him about it because you will only add to his stress level. Bless you!

J.,
My daughter had a similar problem. I spoke with her pediatrician about it and was told that my daughter would try to hold it because she thought it would hurt to go poop. By holding it, she would become constipated and it would hurt when she went (which would usually be in her pants). I was told to give her Myrolax (1/2 a capfull) every day to soften her stool and allow her to go without it hurting. My daughter is now 6 years old and I still give it to her daily. It's tasteless and I mix it in her applesauce everyday. I used to sneak it in but she saw me do it once and I told her why I was doing it and she was actually fine with it. We don't have a problem with it at all anymore unless I forget to give it to her. Hope this helps. Best wishes.

I'm only putting this out there: sometimes reverting back to pooping in their pants is a sign of stress from the changes or something more. I'd start asking him questions that make him talk about what happens at school and on weekends....good luck.