Quirky or Something More

I don't think many of the things you said sound like she's autistic, but I suppose she could be. You'll never know until you get her tested.

She does sound like a bright child, regardless, and I'd agree with others, maybe some ocd issues or whatever. My child is two and she knows many things above and beyond others twice her age as well (abcs, #s, colors, matching, etc)....perhaps she's in need of more stimulation.

You'll just never know until you get her tested. If she is, you will be able to cope with it. Just don't wait too much longer...I can't imagine the stress it causes...not knowing if she is or not.

Good luck.

If you find out she's not autistic, you might want to push to have her tested for being gifted or obsessive complusive behavior. Gifted children can act pretty funky when they are bored. They need a lot of things to keep them busy and challenged. Doing puzzles, counting, and the alphabet may not be enough for her. Gifted love to learn, experiment, and explore. You might even want to start teaching her basics on drawing. Like drawing rabbits, dogs, houses, shapes, etc. She might even be repeating herself, because she thinks you didn't hear her the first time. My son gets very angry if I can't repeat what he said to me like a tape recorder.

I urge you to have her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Her actions could just be quirky but you've described several different ones that can be indicative of autism or other developmental disorders.

My grandson, who is now 7, was recently tentatively diagnosed with being somewhere on the autism spectrum. He started having speech therapy thru the school district when he was 2 1/2 and is still unable to speak clearly enough for most people to understand him. He was diagnosed with apraxia of speech. He's been in the school system ever since. He's also very angry which caused the school district people to suggest he had ODD, opposition defiant disorder. Maybe he has that too but treating the ODD disorder has not changed his behavior at school, tho it has at home.

Developmental disorders are very complicated and the field is new. It's always best to get help as early as possible. I suggest it's also best to get an assessment so that disorders can be eliminated as a cause of behavior so that you don't continue to be concerned.

The school district is mandated by federal law to provide, without charge, diagnosis and treatment for any disorder that will negatively impact the ability to learn in school. They start evaluations and services as young as newborn.

My daughter and her husband at the time decided to wait and see about their son's lack of speech. It's possible that if he'd started speech therapy sooner he'd have better mastered speech by now. At 7 he's entering special education 2nd grade primarily because although he can now say many words clearly and speak in sentences part of the time he's not able to express ideas, concepts, feelings adequately in words. He's prone to temper tantrums. Although he's intelligent he's behind developmentally.

We just learned that developmental pediatricians exist and wish that we'd taken him to one many years ago. You are on the right track, having gotten your daughter started in speech therapy and motor skill development early. My grandson would probably be further along if he'd started speech, occupational and physical therapy sooner.

When you said she is in therapy my first question is what do her therapists say? My second thought was, that although my grandson has been seeing therapists for several years they have not been thorough in their evaluation. The school district does not employ a developmental pediatrician. They are short on funds and are unable to be as thorough as some children apparently need to have them be. The field is so specialized that a speech therapist, especially a young one with little experience as my grandson's have been, would easily miss other aspects of behavior.

My grandson seemed normal as to behavior during the "terrible twos and threes." But his behavior didn't change and in fact worsened as he got older. He does have ritualized behavior that didn't seem all that serious when he was 2 and 3 and learning about his world. Some of it is inappropriate at 6 and 7. Two and three year olds engage in a lot of parallel play. My grandson still prefers to play along side other children but by himself. He likes to have other children around and will interact with them but only if they do what he wants to do. If they don't want to play tag he just runs off by himself, for example. He asks me to play cards with him which means each of us line up our cards across from each other. Once all of our cards are lined up we pick them up and start over. We may use a different arrangement but playing cards is just laying cards down and picking them up again.

You can learn much about developmental disorders and autism on the Internet. The criteria used when making a diagnosis is outlined in the professional book, DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual which is arranged by diagnosis. You can read parts of it at a time on the Internet when you google the possible diagnosis.

I wish I'd spent less time trying to learn about various diagnosis and spent more time encouraging my daughter to get a professional diagnosis separate from the ones made by the school district. An early diagnosis creates a better possibility of making life for your child more "normal." You also need to know now so that if she doesn't need further help you can relax or if she does you can expend your energy on helping her rather than worrying about her.

Mom.
I would get her assessed asap and set your pride aside as parents. There are some wonderful early intervention pgms out there for young children with autism and the earlier they are started in the pgms the better the outcome for your little girl. I work with young children and have worked with children with special needs in a learning environment and have seen what just a year of special individualized teaching and training can do for children as young as 2 1/2. Your little girl deserves to be tested, it will ease your minds either way Mom

It sounds like if she is autistic, then she would be HFA, possibly Aspie. This is my bias right here... I LOVE aspie kids, and I've known several. My god, absolute treasures. One of my (adhd) son's best friends is an Aspie, and he is just a breath of fresh air. Nothing but honesty ever comes out of his mouth. Like most Aspies, he's brilliant, and good hearted, and completely and totally blunt. If you apologize for the house being a mess he'll look around and give you an honest appraisal of how messy your house really is. He's also funny, loyal, and just a super cool kid. He just doesn't follow "social contracts". Aspie adults are also notoriously *successful* people... top in their fields because, by and large, the never bother to listen to people who tell them the "can't" do something, but just go ahead and do it anyway to the durn best of their ability, which tends to be pretty amazing. You find a lot of them in Computers/tech, and many more in Mathmatics, Astrophysics, Music, & the Intelligence field.

Strong 2nd on getting an eval. She may be HFA, but then again she may not be. Just like ADHD there are about 1000 tricks to dealing with HFA/Aspergers that make life sooooooo much easier/better. But you actually have to know what you're dealing with. Besides... how bad would you feel if in 5 years you found out she WASN'T and had spent all this time worrying?

Ask your Speech Therapist, if they think anything of her behavior?
The program the Speech Therapist works from, they usually have a host of various developmental assessment specialists.... and an OVERALL assessment can be done, on your child.

My son had speech therapy...it was just a delay, not a developmental "problem". But prior to beginning the speech therapy, they do an OVERALL developmental assessment on the child.... this was from an "early intervention" type program.
My son just was delayed in speaking. His overall development was on par and advanced in other areas. His Speech Therapist was also highly trained and educated on other developmental issues.... such as Autism and other 'problems' and she could tell if a child was normal or something else was going on.

Then again, she may just be acting like a normal active kid.... who happens to be 3 years old. "Ritualistic" behavior, & repeating words/phrases does occur to a degree at certain age junctures, and is considered normal. BUT... to properly assess whether your child is on par or not... you'd need to ask a developmental specialist... or ask your Pediatrician.

The thing is, you said you have "long feared that our daughter may have Autism...." So, before this, have you ever discussed it with your Pediatrician???
And also, if your gut instinct about it is bothering you, then do what you can to have your daughter evaluated.
And the thing is, you will always wonder about her... until you have a concrete answer to your concerns, from a professional. So why not get her evaluated???
Early intervention... is always good.

all the best,
Susan

Hi A.,
The best thing you can do for your child is to get her the help she may need. what does her doctor say about her? There should be something that was observed at a check up?. I did the same thing with my daughter. I kept saying its nothing. She is 11 now and thankfully not too late to help. She doesnt have autism but does have Add. Dont be embarrassed. The more you know about whats going on the more you can help them now. See a doctor, get second opinions, research the condition. Be your childs advocate. Good luck

Make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician in the morning. Then, call a therapist and make an appointment for yourself so that you can deal with your grief. It is very common for parents to need help dealing with this heartache, and you will need to be at full strength to help you daughter in the years to come.

You have nothing to fear and everything to gain that is meaningful for your daughter by seeking out the lable. You will soon understand that it does not matter to you what the diagnosis is, she will ne no worse off when you face it head on. She will qualify for public services that you can add to her treatment plan, but with out a good comprehensive evaluation, you don't have a plan, and you don't know what therapy she could be missing right now.

Many of us have been where you are. Lable are not the enemy, time is. You will never get these years back, and she stands to make more progress in the next five years than she will in any five year span for the rest of her life. Make it count.

You know the answer to your question, and while it might not be autism, it is something and darkness does not change anything, it will be no worse in the light, and for your daughter, it will be better.

M.

My heart goes out to you and your family because of your last paragraph. I don't have children with disabilities, but I worked for a wonderful non-profit organization for 8 years which supported people with developmental disabilities. I saw the gamut of people with disabilities (children and adults) and the family dynamic that went along with many. I learned so much about people and love love love the people I worked with during that time.

The best thing you can do for yourselves and your daughter is to get her evaluated. Not only will it ease your mind and give you a place to start, but you all will be in a better place to support her with early intervention.

I can hear in your post how proud you are of your daughter for all of the positive traits she has. If she does test on the autism spectrum reach out to the support that is out there now and educate yourselves and whomever is close to you ( family, friends etc...) They will follow your lead in how you treat your daughter. No one can tell you what your daughter will and will not be able to do, including you.

Best wishes and blessings to you~

I think you know what you have to do I just think you are not ready to face it. It is possible that there is nothing wrong but you need to get the evaluation done. Early intervention is key, and even if there are some issues your daughter with help can grow to live a very happy and healthy life. Ignoring it is robbing her of the help she needs to thrive and grow. As parents we all want what is best for our children, so you need to do what is best for your daughter. Learning disabilities are so common and treatable that no one is going to label your child. They will however be more patient and understanding if and when they know what they are dealing with. You are worried not knowing so get the answers you need so you can move past this and do whatever she needs you to do.. Good luck!!!

I am a pediatricOT and a mother of a 2 year old and a 4 year old, so I can understand where you are coming from on both levels. You are doing such a great job--despite your fears, you have gotten her the help she needs with regards to her language. Nobody wants a label on their child, but in this case, a label really isn't a bad thing. If she does indeed end up with a diagnosis of some sort, it actually OPENS doors for her, not shuts them. It makes her eligible to receive lots of different services that can bring her to the next level, and gives you access to other professionals with other perspectives that can help you to help your daughter even more than you already have. A diagnosis at this age isn't something that's going to appear on her college transcripts or prevent her from having a meaningful career--it's just a way to describe how she learns or interacts with the world around her. She is obviously a bright little girl, but she requires extra-special parenting and support, which she is definitely getting from you. An appointment with a developmental pediatrician might not be a bad idea, and you might want to consider scheduling an appointment with an occupational therapist to look into her sensory processing/sensory integration. Hang in there, and keep moving forward--you are a great mom, and everything is going to be okay!

Hi
This is truly my thought
Ask the MD. He may alleviate your fears and they will be gone, and you don't have to think about it any more. When our daughter couldn't pick her head up at 10 mo., and she was trying to crawl with her head on the floor. That is what we did. He said no problem. -- Today she is a junior at Cornerstone University on the Presidents List.
If he confirms your fears --- treatment is started and that moves you out of fear and into action to address and ease the problem.
Either way you win, but sitting doing nothing only makes you incubate a problem that will hatch. Surely you don't want that.
God bless you and your decisions.

.

Get a diagnosis. There is so much they can do - especially if intervention is early! This is not about how you feel, it is about getting her help ASAP. The earlier the intervention, the more likely she will be able to develop skills to lead a happy life - happy for her because she will have the skills, happy for you because she will have these skills and you will know you did everything you could.

I can empathize with you, A.. One of my closest students was different - extremely sensitive, both inside and out. She did not have a birthday party where she did not cry. Trying to comb her hair was impossible. When she was two, while all the other kids were playing, she spent the whole time on her mom's hip - and these are kids she knew very well.

The parents did not get her tested, since the pediatrician did not seem concerned, and this was 18 years ago before autism was heard of. Through elementary school, she made one or two friends at a time. When speaking to her, she was bright and interesting, but the things she struggled with were following directions, reading, and later, math.

It was in 6th grade that they finally found out she had learning disabilities; not through the school, so she was never labeled. It was then that she got occupational therapy (including sensory integration and primitive reflexes integration), listening therapy, cranial sacral therapy, vision therapy, and cognitive training. these took place over the course of 2 years.

Finally, she was able to do all the things that other people could, and everything changed - her physique, her social skills, her self esteem. She is currently a college Junior on the Dean's List with no accommodations or tutors. She did it!

You daughter will too. Keep up the therapies and explore what else you can do. Listen to your intuition, since sometimes the professionals do not believe in certain therapies that might work for her. There is no silver bullet; all children are individuals. Fix the symptoms, and the label you were afraid she might have, will no longer fit.

Best of luck with raising your bright daughter! Looks like you might get quite an education along with her!

If you would like to read more about my journey with my students, please feel free to go to www.pyramidofpotential.com.

It's great that you are getting her speech therapy. Early intervention really is amazing and it's good to get things worked on when they are little. If, indeed, she is showing signs of autism, you might as well get her the same help. You clearly were comfortable getting her help for speech, so why wouldn't you feel comfortable getting her help if she does, indeed, need some social therapy or some sort of sensory therapy? My twin boys got speech, PT, OT, the works... and they are going into kindergarten this fall and so thankful we got them the therapy they needed to be able to get them into kindergarten with no issues.
I know the fear of finding out something you don't want to hear about. But you can't change the diagnosis and it's better to know and get her therapy than to ignore it and have her be miserable in school later on.
Good luck and I hope all works out...

I understand your fears, I felt the same way. We had our son tested.First of all the test is not difficult, second it came out negative. We were releived.If it were positive It would have been upsetting but we would have been able to help him sooner.They said he had behavioral issues and we should seek councelling. I think thats what they say when the test is neg. and they dont know whats going on. We skipped the counselling,hes doing fine. He is advanced for his age in school but behind slightly in the social area.Overall he's a happy child. Wishing you all the best.

Have her tested. If she isnt you can have some level of peace of mind, and if she is you can begin in home therapy and getting in touch with your local school district. Early interevention is prime with children who have autism. At her age, its not really considered early so I would not wait. The things you described that your daughter is very good at are also things children with autism are good at. My SS who is 7 now who has autism memorizes movie script from beginning to end, books from page to page, can read, recite and its all memorized, not learned. Get her tested and do what you can.

Hi A.,
If you suspect there is something not right about your child, please speak with her doctor right away. Get a referral for the right specialist and the right testing. I know that no one wants their child "labelled" but if she's NOT autistic, she won't get that label. If she IS autistic, she'll still be autistic without that label and she won't get the help that she needs or would qualify for. There are therapies and strategies that could help her, please don't deny her those opportunities. Waiting longer means that she is not receiving those services, and the younger you start with them, the better the outcome. I work with special ed kids, including those on the autism spectrum and they can be very bright and accomplished, so do not let her skills lead you to believe that she is not on the spectrum. Have her evaluated. Good luck!

I think you should have her evaluated by your local school district. I know it is a painful thing to think about, but all the research points to early intervention, and she if she is found eligible she can be receiving services now. I am a special education teacher and have seen amazing success stories with early intervention. Please don't give up your dreams, just get help in identifying what your daughter needs for her to be able to reach those dreams and the ones she will have in the future.

Follow YOUR instincts on this. I understand your fears but you have to overcome them for HER. IF there is a problem, you should address it as soon as possible so she can get whatever she needs. If there isn't a problem, then you have no more worries and move on. Honestly though, she sounds like my 3 year old most of the time and I am not worried that he has autism. I understand the fear though b/c since he was born I felt I was always on the look out. I didn't want to miss any signs. However, no matter what, she's still your precious little girl so be strong and confront it. Let us know how things go!

Please have her tested for autism. Maybe it's that or maybe not, but you won't have to worry about 'what if' and you can learn to deal w/ 'what is'. I'm no expert, but I am aware that the earlier a diagnosis is made, the better the chance of getting good results from appropriate therapies. Look @ it this way: if you were worried she might have (God forbid) pneumonia or some other serious illness, you'd want to take her for diagnosis & proper treatment, right? Gather your strength and courage and do it for HER. Best wishes.

Hi there! Here are my thoughts - simply based on my own experience with a son who was diagnosed with autism ("high functioning" they called it) at 2 years old...

Go with your gut... if you feel she needs more testing, than have it done. Yale has some wonderful programs. You can pay for testing on your own with a private therapist. Speak to your pediatrician. If your gut says she may have autism and need more therapy, then listen to that. Look into a preschool program for children with special needs so that she gets the social piece.
You are your child's best advocate. Yes, kids are quirky, and yes they grow out of those things. But, EARLY INTERVENTION is key so don't wait and see if she grows out of it. Again, go with your gut.

Don't look too far into the future and compare your daughter with other children (this is very hard I know). My son is now 6 1/2, going into first grade, is reading, etc. at grade level. He is functioning just fine. I never would have thought it. He had all the same behaviors you are describing about your daughter. Many have gone away completely, some still remain, but are more manageable now that he's older.

Take one day at a time. I hope this was helpful! I wish you all the best!