Is My Son Normal?

I wouldnt worry too much. My son didnt start really putting words together until he was about 3 years old. He did get a psychological evaluation and they said that he was barley on the spectrum. But since then he has gotten so much better. He's been in speech therapy since he was about 2 1/2. The reason I got him evaluated was because of his temper tantrums. But once he started talking more those almost went away. Not all, but most. I think they try and label every kid with autism that is delayed in any way. So don't be suprised if they say he has whats called PDD-NOS. Thats what they told me my son had. But I dont think it was right. He acts like a normal 3 1/2 year old now. Still has a little more fits than the average kid his age. But I wouldnt worry. My son doesnt like to make eye contact, but is very loving and affectionate. He was obsessed with lining his cars up and sorting things. I think thats one reason why they labeled him "on the spectrum." But since then I havent taken him back and he's been fine. I've noticed one thing that really helps is being around kids their own age. Because they see how they act and they rub off on eachother. It helped my son tremendously. I hope this helps and good luck with everything!

Who is to say that being on the Autism Spectrum Scale is abnormal? I think we have more information and different ways of looking at behavior now than we did just a few years ago. For me, what counts is whether or not a child or adult is able to reasonably function in his world. In the world your son lives in now he functions well.

My grandson is now 7 and he's now being evaluated because he no longer fits into the world of a 7 yo. I don't know if it would've helped to have had him evaluated for ASD any earlier. What is, is and we go from here.

My grandson started speech therapy at the age your son is now. He's progressed much more slowly than your son has. He's been diagnosed with apraxia of speech which involves an inability to form words using his muscles, mouth, tongue. A person who cannot speak after a stroke has apraxia of speech and frequently can to retaught how to talk. My grandson did not form sentences until the last few months but we can finally understand what he's saying some of the time.

He's had major anger issues which have worsened since the first of the year and which caused him to be referred to a developmental pediatrician. This doctor has already said that she's sure he's on the SPD scale somewhere. He was also diagnosed with ADHD within the past few months and is responding well to medication. His mother held out against medication until he began being suspended from school. He's in a special ed classroom because of his lack of speech and inability to focus.

At 2 1/2 his pediatrician said he was normal and most likely just slow in learning to talk but she referred him for evaluation which his mother had done thru the school district. He had many behaviors similar to your son, including being affectionate. I had always thought that lack of bonding and the ability to show affection as well as lack of eye contact was an important part of ASD. Not so. He is affectionate and is definitely bonded with his family. What is different is that he overdoes the affectionate gestures. At 7 he's sill patting butts and boobs. He hugs and kisses over and over no matter where we are. He doesn't seem to be able to learn more appropriate ways of showing affection.

He is not shy with other kids and walks right up to them and now says "my name is Chase, what's yours? Play tag." but then he often loses interest and goes off by himself in the park. At 7 he acts like a social 3 year old. When a toddler runs into a toddler it's seen as OK. When a 7 year old runs into a toddler he's seen as the aggressor. In reality, Chase doesn't know that he's doing anything wrong even tho he's been told over and over to be gentle. He's feeling friendly and has a smile on his face. The toddler is sometimes scared. He is getting better at being gentle. Perhaps its the meds. He plays well with preschoolers but has difficulty with kids his own age. He is still a side by side player in many ways.

Same with anger. Temper tantrums are for the most part gone but his immediate response to something he doesn't like is often to hit and kick along with saying inappropriate words. His anger is in the extreme over minor disappointments which caused him to be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder when he was 4.

He is angry less often at home and with me but we don't need to make the same consistent requirements of him that are required at school. He does obey but we do choose our battles. When we're aware he's having a bad time we can let him play quietly in his room away from other people and noises.

He does line up his cars and trucks, row after row. Since he's older he now changes the line up while at 2 1/2 he lined them up and left them. He is fixated on Hot Wheels. His cars have to be the Hot Wheels brand. He's also fixated on Bakugan battle brawlers, which are small large marble sized toys that fold up. And recently added Tech Nec Dudes and Beyblade tops. They all have being small in common and except for the Hot Wheels have games of superiority. He doesn't understand or want ot play the games, tho. He likes to line them up. The pieces don't interact with each other. He used to play with blocks all the time and still does sometimes. What all these toys have in common is that they are small, similar to each other within the toy category and when compared with his other toys very similar. i.e his interest is very specialized and his manipulation of them is very structured.

My grandson also has a good sense of humor and laughs a lot. Even tho he's now 7 he's playing the same jokes on us that he did when he was 3.

His movements are awkward. He's the kid who is always falling down or running into walls. And when he's glad to see me he still often runs at me so hard that I have to brace myself to keep my balance.

Yes, it's very sad and frustrating to have a child with autism. I suspect that the odd kid when I was growing up would be diagnosed with autism now. The difference between then and now is that there are more kids like this and there is help available so that many of these kids grow up to lead a normal life. It may not be the life we wished for them but there are adults diagnosed with Asperger's who work, marry, and have children.

Although we would like to wait and see it is best to get an early diagnosis and get started on treatment. Our family waited even tho he was very slow to talk. I often wonder if he would be able to talk better if he'd started speech therapy earlier. I also wish his mother had taken him to a developmental pediatrician earlier because in some ways I see that my grandson has stood still in his development the last 2-3 years and wonder if he might have been able to function better with less stress if he'd been understood and treated differently earlier.

My grandson is very special. He's a lover and his behavior was close to normal when he was a toddler. The difficulty is that his behavior hasn't sufficiently developed as he's grown older. We are glad he's in our family and will do the very best that we know for him. Yes, it's still scary, not knowing what is in store for him but loving him gives us the strength to persevere in doing our best for him.

Because his first visit for extensive evaluation was just a couple of weeks ago I can't tell you if they can tell at this age with any kind of certainty about your son's being "normal" or not. I strongly believe that it's better to know more about the possibilities than to be anxious as you wonder. I feel more calm in the past month than I did all those years, knowing something was wrong but now knowing what it was or how to deal with it. It's been more difficult this year because I trusted that the teacher in his special ed class knew how to deal with him but she ended up not knowing either what was wrong or how to deal with him.

Early Intervention has a good program and I do recommend being involved with them as early as possible but I also recommend getting private help if you can afford it. At least some if not most insurance plans pay for some or most of it. We're just starting down that road.

Honestly, this sounds like a normal 2 1/2 year old to me!

L.D.,

The word you are searching for is "typical" not normal, your son is normal, no matter how atypical some of his behaviors are. Calm your fears, even if he has an autisic specrtum disorder, it is not the end of the world, it will just spin a little differently. It may not be autism at all, but it is something.

You know that something is going on here, all of us (for the most part) who have kids with issues knew something was up with out kids before we could put a diagnosis on it. A diagnosis is not a lable, and the dreaded lable is nothing to vilanize. The moniker for a developmental glitch is not going to harm any child, that is an adult hang up that has zero to do with helping kids, and it actually is a factor in children not getting what they need early enough for the therapy to be the most effective. I really urge you to let go of how you are going to feel about your son's developmental status and stop trying to mold it into something that will be less painful and stressful for you, because seeing the world with clarity is going to be the most helpful for your son, and in the long run, for him, and for you, this is best (that comes from the been there, done that category of experience.)

It is generally best to get evaluations done based on the question "what is going on with my son, here are his behaviors" than it is to ask "does my son have such and such?" In my expereince as well, you will get a more complete evaluation if you do not try to guide your evaluator by suggesting a diagnostic category. For almost every other medical condition, we go to the doctor and say, "this hurts, what is wrong?" not, "do I have cancer?" The answer to that question can be just plain "no" without any chance to learn what is really going on. You don't know what developmental issue your son has, and some kids, unfortunatley, never fit perfectly into any diagnostic category and never carry any specifc diagnosis, but still need intensive interventions that will help them to have more typical developmental pattters and behaviors. What you call your son's condition is of importantance only because you will open legal doors to certain assistance programs more easily, not becuase of the treatment program your son needs, he can get all the treament he needs based on a full evaluation of all of his needs.

Many people think that if a child can do certain things that they will disqualify an autism diagnosis. The autism diagnosis does not work that way. There is no single action that any one child with autism can do that will make it imposible for that child to have an autism diagnosis, and the diagnostic criteria for the things that you mentioned do not call for complete absence, but for disfunction in those areas. A child need not have full symptoms in every single area that is diagnostic for autism to carry the diagnosis, so while I know that you are trying to make yourself feel better, and some may jump on the eye contact and affection as definitive, they are not disqualifiers, so the answer to your question on that is "no." Autistic spectrum disorders have a very wide range of symptoms and when you have met one child with autism, you have met one child with autism. There are 5 distinct types of autism, a non specific autistic diagnosis (PDD-NOS) and there are many other developmental issues that are not on the autism spectrum. Let your evaluator make the call based on what he sees.

I would suggest that you explore a Developmental Pediatrician for the most thourough dianostic evaluation if that is not the kind of evaluation he is scheduled for in august. Developmental Pediatricians can be found at children's hosipitals, and are your very best bet for an evaluation that will miss nothing, and will give you a complete treatment plan to follow that will leave you no guess work. Board certified Child psychiatrists are terrific case managers and medical providers for children with autism. Nueropsycholgists can provide good evaluations, but you will also need speech and langague, OT, and a whole score of other separate evaluations depending on your son's needs (from ENT to neurological) that would be all inclusive from a Developmental Pediatrician, who will refer your son to what ever professional he needs, then put all the evaluation data into one full scale report. Psychologists can give you some educational and psychological evaluation, but are limited in the usefulness to you in your long term search for a comprehensive plan. You will need a medical diagnosis in addition to an evaluation from a psychologist, and you will be spending a great deal of time putting this together yourself, and frankly, most of us are not equiped to do that, so my best advice to you is to seek a Developmental Pediatric assessment by a Developmental Pediatrician from the start. Again, this is from the been there, done that (twice) category of advice.

M.

Have you talked to the speech therapist about your concerns? He/she should have plenty of experience with autistic kids to be able to tell you if your concerns are warranted.

Sounds to me like he is a normal little guy! Good luck mama

I understand how you feel, but please don't be scared of Autism Spectrum. My 8 year old was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 4. Yes it's scary, but through the years we have met children on the spectrum who range from completely interactive and by all appearances "normal" to non verbal and nearly completely unresponsive to their environment. Getting a diagnosis or "label" does not change your child at all. He will be the same sweet and affectionate boy that you know now after being diagnosed. The only difference will be that you will now have direction and information available to you to help him through whatever challenges he may have in the future.

My son is ready to begin 3rd grade in the fall in a regular classroom. He has some things that we are working on with him but in most ways he is a "normal" 8 year old boy.

Don't worry, it will all work out in the end.

Best of luck,
K.

Sounds completely normal to me!

If he had periods of INTENSE concentration (30 minutes to 2 hours) on something that's NOT tv/movies/etc, I might think adhd... but you said he's got a normal 15 minute tops attention span, which is dead on target. ((You can't dx adhd off of activity level until MUCH later, because at that age it's *normal*. Instead you look for what's abnormal, like hyper-focus, or "opposite caffiene reaction" - meaning if you gave him a can of coke or cup of coffee he'd go right to sleep instead of getting wired))

Aspie? Maybe. But again, unlikely. Not without intense focus.

What you've described, to ME, just sounds like "perfectly normal active toddler".

Don't dread or delay getting your son evaluated. First, he may be "normal" (what's normal, anyway?) except for the speech delay you already know about. Second, he may have some sensory processing issue(s), which often accompany autism but can also appear separately from it. Or perhaps ADHD or some other neurological problem with which you can get him the proper therapy. You will want to know earlier, rather than later, about anything that might explain your son's behaviors, so that you can help him adjust.

Autism spectrum can mean anything from profoundly affected to having some characteristics that barely nudge a child onto the spectrum. That label didn't exist when I was a child, or else a younger sister and I would probably both have been placed on the spectrum. Particularly if a child is high-functioning, it's not something to dread, although there can be "interesting" tics, habits, preferences or delays that a child may reveal as he grows.

But autistic kids can also be wonderfully gifted in their particular ways. Many brainy computer programmers, engineers, scientists and artists are on the autism spectrum (Asperger's types), and they are often able to focus and specialize in their areas of interest to a higher-than-"normal" degree, allowing them to succeed spectacularly in their professions. Autism can be a strange and wonderful gift. Early intervention will often be helpful.

I wouldn't be qualified to diagnose him even in person, much less on the web, but please, don't worry about this. Take care of him and pay attention to who he is, but don't worry--it serves no purpose. The world is a lot more complicated than just "normal" and "abnormal." Even if he does get diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, he obviously doesn't have the worst problem that some autistic kids have--namely, difficulty in bonding with or feeling affection for other people. You've already dodged that bullet and frankly in my opinion that's the most important one to dodge. Being able to form healthy relationships is really fundamental.

When I say the world is more than just normal and abnormal... well, actually, let me point you to a website to help illustrate what I mean:
http://www.tecweb.org/styles/gardner.html
Dr. Gardner is a Harvard psychologist who identified seven different types of human intelligence. Everyone has a different combination of these seven intelligences, and so everyone learns in different ways and achieves different things. There probably isn't anyone who excels in all seven kinds; basically everyone has a different mix. For myself, I'm off the charts in linguistic/verbal intelligence (I speak multiple languages) but kind of a dunce in spatial intelligence (I get lost easily, got a D- in the only architecture class I ever took, etc.). And from the way you're describing your son, it sounds like he's on the weak side in verbal but very strong in kinesthetic intelligence. In other words, you may have an athlete and/or a craftsman and/or engineer on your hands, as opposed to a budding novelist or translator (high verbal) or scientist (high mathematical/logical). So, for a "baby athlete" or "baby craftsman/engineer," your son is normal.

Now, he may well need some extra help to develop his verbal abilities, because they don't come as naturally to him and verbal is an important skill to develop. But it's really important, both for your own happiness and for his, to not focus too much on the areas where he's weak--that is, to not see him as deficient or a problem child just because his personal mix of weaknesses and strengths isn't a mix that you (or for that matter the public school system) are used to dealing with. It's really important to give at least as much attention to the areas where he's strong. Get him involved in kiddie sports and I bet you'll be blown away by his talent, and also you'll be more rested because if he has a way of working off all that energy on a soccer field or wherever, he won't be bouncing off the walls at home. Don't worry about "is he normal"; instead, ask yourself "does he have enough opportunities to do the things he really loves and is really good at?"--such as sports, crafts activities (i.e. making things, hammering nails, taking stuff apart and putting it together) and so on. My granddad was an athlete and engineer--he went to MIT on an athletic scholarship. So really, don't worry about your son; don't worry about whether he fits your or someone else's idea of "normal." Just help him be who he is as best he can.

Your son sounds exactly like my 7 year old when he was younger. He had his speech therapy through preschool and was all caught up when he entered kindergarten. He did get pulled for reading and math because the go go go made it hard for him to sit and pay attention to what was going on. It was just to review in a one on one setting of what they did in class. Same for 1st grade. Because of the awesome memory math and numbers are easy for him. My son will remember phone numbers faster than my 9 year old. I did ask the doctor to give him the ADHD label just so he could keep the extras he gets at school because he really does need them. I only did that because after 1st grade he didn't qualify for the delayed development label anymore. I do not medicate (not yet anyway) because he has no social issues and he really is advancing with school.
So yes your son is normal. I wouldn't worry about it but I would definitely get him evaluated just to be safe. He might just need a little something extra and better earlier than later.

He sounds totally normal at this point compared to lots of boys in my huge extended family. Energy level especially. Every 2 1/2 yo child I know jumps all around the house to the cupboards the toys every couple of minutes-which is why I get livid when my child development fanatic friends start saying they have disorders because of it. This behavior is the definition of "toddler". Many healthy boys in our family didn't talk at all until 3 and didn't have long attention spans for games and toys. The list of things "right" about him are the crucial things-humor, bonding-doesn't seem detached. Some kids are slower on some stuff and even out when they get a bit older. BEWARE of looking for all the things that could be wrong. Get several opinions if you get him evaluated (I would wait on that for a year based on the things you list) do NOT let the first person down the pike diagnose him with something and take the news without questioning it.

From what I read in your post I don't see anything that sounds like autism except the "not playing with toys." I think you would need some one to watch him playing to know if there are any specific red flags in how he plays. I know my kids both like to play with household items (plastic containers, wooden spoons, etc) and kids under 3 have a short attention span (10 or 15 minutes is a long time to such a little kid). My son, now 4.5, is also a high energy kid who rarely sits still unless he is sleeping or ready to sleep. He also tends to be hyper if he is overtired (adjusting bedtime earlier helped a lot). Kids often develop unevenly and many times I was watching for something and it took a littler longer than expected. For example at age 3 I was watching for my son to do more pretend play and play more with other kids but I didn't see it until 3.5 to 4. Putting my son in preschool at 3 helped him a lot too.

What you describe sounds more like ADHD than autism but he is much too young to diagnose for that (ADHD is not usually a valid diagnosis until around 6 or older). If you are worrying definitely do the evaluation you have scheduled. Also see if you can figure out where your fears and any gut feelings you have could be comming from. If you can identify any specific behaviors you are concerned about then you can ask the person doing the evaluation. A specialist who has met and observed your son can give you better answers than anyone who has not met him.

I agree with Amy J. He sounds like a 'typical' (not 'normal' -- an offensive term to parents of kids on the spectrum--implying that autistic kids are abnormal!) kid to me.
My son was REALLY high energy at that age--he's 7 and he's still high energy. Always on go. My great nephew (4) is even more so.
As for the toys--maybe get some stuff that mimics the 'real' stuff he likes--puzzles with opening doors, measuring sand w/ cups in a sandbox, etc.
ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT!
I think it's great that he is getting speech therapy now and that it's helping him.
Sometimes it's really hard for parents to admit and seek the help that their kids need. But if he needed a band aid on a cut, you'd put O. on, right?
Remember that if it turns out he IS on the spectrum, he is the same playful, loving, affectionate kid that he was the day before the diagnosis!
Beware of comparing your child to other kids. That's never a good idea. Enjoy him for who he is--quirks and all! Bets of luck, mama!

I think he is a boy who at 2.5 years old is not going to keep still. My son is three and is non stop unless he goes to sleep. I would not worry with the talking thing. Kids do this at different paces. I would tell you to have him around other kids his age. I would think that is a good thing to help out with the talking. My son did not talk much at 18 months but started to pick up with the talking within three months after he started going to the babysitter. My son is my only child so I can understand the concerns that you have. I do not think he has autism but make sure so you have a peace of mind.

I'm no doctor, but he sounds totally normal to me. I have 3 sons and 1 daughter. They are all different in their own little ways. My youngest is almost 3, a boy and sometimes his speech is great, sentences and all, and the next min I can't understand the words that are coming outta his mouth, lol. He will sit and play with his trains/cars etc, mostly with friends here, but he does get into other things as well. They are curious active little creature !! It's normal for them at this age to shy away from strangers. Mine hides behind my leg to people he doesnt know well.

Take a deep breath, I'm sure he's totally fine. No matter what, he's your son and he's perfect !

God bless you all !

I think he is perfectly normal.
My son also received speech therapy and when he began talking he had a huge vocabulary but no sentence like speech. Now, at 3 he is still slightly behind in speech. His vocabulary is impressive (he would say anaconda or python or cobra, boa constrictor... when I would just recognize a snake and that goes for any animals, dinosaurs, cars...) But his sentences are still imperfect like "me go outside now, please".
Any household item, dad's tools, real life object attracted him more than his toys (but this is changing, now)
My son had always had a high ability to focus but at 2 1/2, 15 minutes with the same toy is a very normal attention span.
If he is so affectionate and loving, I don't believe he has autism.
If his activity level is really that high, that may be ADHD but, in my opinion he is just a very active healthy little boy.

I don't think there's anything to worry about. My daughter was much more interested in cabinets, drawers, etc than her toys when she was that age. It's just a toddler thing. Kids develop at different rates and his language skills don't seem too far off. For example, my nephew hardly talked when he was in his two's, and he is now a super-smart adult. There are good parenting sites that give you the range of development you can expect. If you continue to be concerned, you can consult your doctor but I don't see anything here that sounds alarming. The fact that he interacts so well with you suggests to me that he is just fine.

Updated

I don't think there's anything to worry about. My daughter was much more interested in cabinets, drawers, etc than her toys when she was that age. It's just a toddler thing. Kids develop at different rates and his language skills don't seem too far off. For example, my nephew hardly talked when he was in his two's, and he is now a super-smart adult. There are good parenting sites that give you the range of development you can expect. If you continue to be concerned, you can consult your doctor but I don't see anything here that sounds alarming. The fact that he interacts so well with you suggests to me that he is just fine.

This sounds very much like my 2 year old son. My son is a busy boy. He is constantly doing something and on the move. He loves to help around the house so his dad and I give him little chores to help us...even something as small as throwing away a magazine makes him feel like he was a super helper :)

My son doesn't play with his toys for long periods of time. The longest he plays is with his tool box of tools when he pretends to be fixing something or when he is riding his powered tractor in the yard. Otherwise, he moves from one toy to the next.

My son also doesn't talk much. He has approximately 90-100 words that he uses on a regular basis, rarely linked together. Oddly, I know the count because I have been keeping track of them. I did have a concern that he wasn't talking like he should for a not-yet-2 year old so the pediatrician suggested I make a list and then reassured me that Quinn is above average for an active boy this age.

I personally do not think you have any reason to be concerned but definitely seek professional help if it is reassuring to you.