My question is similar to that of Paula, who's two year old doesn't want to go to bed. My friend has a daughter that just turned three and she refuses to go to bed, she gives my friend a hard time, pitches fits and cries. The biggest problem is that when my friend tries to ignore all of her antics her daughter will cry to the point that she makes herself vomit!! I've pretty much advised her as many of the women did in Paula's case, but what do you do when your child makes themself sick on purpose just because she knows mommy will have to come in and clean her up and most likely she'll end up sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed? My friend gets help from her husband but not as much as I think she should. She's done most of the raising of her child on her own. I just thought some of you might be able to shed some light on this situation that I could pass on to her. Thanks so much!
Try doing activities with her in the evening that will make her tired such as taking her to the park or something like that. Take her a warm bath around 7 or 8 and read her a bedtime story until she falls asleep. This or something else tiring will make her tired and fall asleep at a time that is appropriate for her age. I hope that this has been helpful.
S. W.
A small child shouldn't be helping to clean up poop and vomit - it's too difficult to make sure they get sufficiently cleaned up afterwards and you can spread some pretty nasty germs. If you want them to help clean up from accidents that are just urine, that's at least safe. I'm not sure if it's the wisest thing to try shame them into doing what you want, but at least the urine accidents aren't going to spread illness.
I'm concerned that this child is allowed to get so upset that she is vomiting. That isn't come sort of child "manipulation" - there is definitely something wrong there. No child should have to get to that point where she is that distruaght before someone comforts her. To allow a toddler to get so upset that she is vomiting (assuming she isn't physically ill) is *beyond* neglect.
I'm not sure if this is the response you were looking for but in my house if you make a mess then you help clean it up. Maybe if she has to clean up her own vomit, she will stop. Works in my house! Good luck!
Has your friend tried playing soft relaxing music at the child's bedtime. In pre-kindergarten and kindergarten soft relaxing music helps the children to take a nap at quiet time.
P. S
I feel for your friend! How hard this is to have your child going through this! I agree with the other responder that she is too young to clean up her own vomit. I did wonder about why she ultimately gets to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed though? I think there may be some other ways to handle the issue other than totally giving in and allowing her to sleep with her parents. I also don't think a 2 year old can make themselves sick "on purpose". However, it is not outside the realm of possibility that she is getting herself so wound up that she in turn throws up. It sounds like there are two extremes here (clean up her own "waste" or sleep in parents bed). Does she sleep in her own bed/crib during nap times? Is she extra clingy otherwise? I would encourage her to try to find a happy medium to begin addressing the issue. Your friend may want to try some of the following: a special night light, bedtime toy, blanket to help comfort her. Checking on her when she is crying, briefly comforting her, and then putting her back to bed. Use these items for naps as well, and encourage her to have a "lovie" that she uses when she is upset to soothe herself. I feel most children will adopt quickly to the cry it out method (if used within reason), but this is the first I've heard of a child getting so upset they throw up.
If she has been sleeping with her parents when she is upset, it will take some re-structuring (and this can be awful for parents) to get her happily back into her own bed. The hardest thing to do is to have to "un-do" bad sleep habits- however, with perserverance, it can be done! Best of luck to your friend.
Hi, K.!
We were just talking about kids making themselves sick yesterday! LOL
My friend's three year old will make herself sick if she is forced to try a new food (she only eats a VERY small variety of foods anyway). I told her a story that I had heard years ago from a single mother of three boys that they would always poop in their pants when they were potty training. She was at her wits end with it, and finally she had the epiphany to start making them clean out their own underpants. She said you'd be surprised how quickly they stopped pooping in their pants! So I suggested this to my friend with the child vomitting at the dinner table. Maybe this would also work with your friend. In my opinion, strong-willed kids need to be shown at an early age that they cannot always manipulate a situation and get what they want; that should always be consequences for their actions.
Good luck to your friend!
