Procrastinating

It was in the Family Fun magazine a few months back, to make "dad dollars" or what I call them, "mom money". (www.festisite.com click on tools, then generate money and you upload your picture to the bills) My daughters were constantly running late for school and nearly missing the bus almost everyday because they would procrastinate....and I had to keep on them to get their stuff together, make the bed, clear their breakfast dish... So we started the mom money. I made a list of things they could use their mom money on...rent a video game, go to the movies, pick dinner...whatever you want to put on your list. So they had a list of things they had to do in the morning and I put 3 dollars on the counter. When everything was done, they collected their money, but the money disappered at 8:00. (20 minutes before the bus comes) The money has disappeared more than a few times, but they have really stopped the dilly daddeling in the mornings. They are 6 and 8...so a little younger, but you get the idea. Set a chart w a time limit on when things need to be done by and when they are done, he gets money...and then make up a list of what things cost. Like I charge them $3 to watch TV. They used to sit at the TV endlessly....but now that they are charged for it, not so much. For $10 the can rent a movie and for $20 we can go rollar skating...so it's all what you want it to be. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Hello! I just wanted to be the advocate for your child. I myself am a procrastinator and was a great student, teacher, mom, friend, and wife. Everyone has a different personality and you cannot force how they get things done. Let me be clear, I totally understand the frustration, my oldest is like me and it drives me crazy. But with daily reminders of what needs to be done, I let her choose her schedule to get things done (age 11), it is her responsibility and she has to deal with the consequences of things if she doesn't get it all done. My next two kids want to get their homework done the minute that they walk in the door and never need reminders of what they need to do, to each their own!

I personally thrive and getting things accomplished last minute and get things done right. Just hand in there, and be supportative and do some of the many great suggestions people gave you, but also rememeber not everyone is the "get things done right now" type and it is okay too! I like to have a clock nearby in the morning and have a set time that I KNOW I must be ready by, visual cues are great!

Just a note of encouragement: When my son was in Junior High, he had that problem. We made up a schedule of his day, hour by hour, so that he knew when was the time he had to do everything. I don't know if that helped or not, but it made me less anxious. He is now in Graduate School working on his doctorate and still puts everything off until the last minute, but somehow always manages to get his work done on time. He graduated Summa Cum Laude with 3 undergraduate degrees in Biology, Psychology, and Theater, so when it was finally up to him alone, he was able to get things done. Keep working with your son now. That's how he will learn. Good luck.

Hi P., please tell me about your foreign language school.

I have one more idea to add to the great ones you have already gotten. In my experience as a high school teacher it is really important for students to experience the consequences of their actions. I think the ideas you have gotten are great and can help your son start to manage his time. However, it is really important for him to manage his time because he wants to, not because he is getting external rewards for it. Building intrinsic motivation will really make the practice stick. I recommend picking a couple of things that he wants or needs to do in a timely fashion and that if he doesn't do them will mean he misses out on something he likes. You also need to pick a few things that won't ruin things for the rest of the family, i.e. don't pick family vacation or even a special day out you all have been looking forward to. Also, he needs to understand that it was his actions that caused the good thing not to happen, not you taking it away (he is likely to blame you rather than accepting responsibility). As an example, I used to oversleep all the time. My parents would wake me up over and over and I would eventually get up. They always made sure I was up on time even though it took a lot of prodding. Eventually they got fed up and stopped waking me up before my Sat morning ballet class. I loved the class and I started missing it because I over slept. I hated it and started waking up on time. Sorry for such a long answer, but I hope this helps. Good luck!

Have you tried siiting down with him after school or in the evening, whenever you see him and talk about school and things he needs to do? If you touch base every day on this issue, maybe you can work on things as they come. ANother thought might be to make it an experiment...make a deal to try it your way, and do things as soon as they present themselves regardless of when the deadline is. Then, you can talk about it and seeif he feels better and more relieved, less stressed. If he agrees that he feels better, then maybe he will make the decision himself to get things done timely, so that he has less stress later. :)

Good luck, all the best! :)

I'm a teacher and I have a big file of techniques and tips for kids who need help with that, among other things. The list is for kids with ADD so you can figure if it works for them it works for everybody! If you give me your email address I'll email it to you.

i know your child is ten, but when i have kindergarten kids who have this type of trouble, it usually requires me (or another adult) to sit down with him or her and help with getting started and taking the work one tiny step at a time. for example, write your name, read directions. usually with little kids, it's a combination of not being able to plan their tasks and being anxious about completing the work. telling them to start isn't usually enough. they really need someone to sit right next to them and talk them through the process.