Preparing for #2.... - Lake Stevens,WA

Hi Jennifer,

My daughter has 4 children, each born 22 months after the one before, and all C-sections, and all (after the first one)a bit premature! They are now 8, 6, 4 and 2. Kids are really resilient and they did just fine being cared for by their Dad and grandparents. The last 3 were each in a NICU some distance away from their home for 10 or 11 days, so the separation from their Mom was lengthy as she had to stay near the hospital. It does help a lot to have grandparents around! I hope you have people around who can help with childcare. They came to visit Mom in the hospital as often as we could make it happen. Try to get your little boy used to being with his caregiver so that person is familiar to him. I wish you the best!

I would say that it is time to "practice" leaving him now. Who are you going to be leaving him with when the time comes? Try over night now. It will be harder on you than him. You will call to see how he is doing. He will be fine--surprise!

When you come home bring a gift home for him. Make a big deal over him. He will be the big boy now.

Congratulations on both the big boy and the new baby.

I would suggest that you have some trial time away from your son so he will kind of know what to expect. Whoever it is that is going to have him during that time (grandma?friend? family member?), have them take him overnight or for the weekend a couple of times before you are due. It will have the combined benefit of helping him be more comfortable away from you for a short period of time, and you can take advantage of the alone time with you and your husband before you take on 2 kids at home. I have made it a point to have my daughter spend overnighters at Grandmas house from about age 6m on so she would be comfortable there, and it paid off last Christmas when at age 15m she had to spend 2 weeks with Grandma while I had emergency surgery and recovery. She did great and hardly noticed I was not there.

I was in the same exact boat 2 months ago. Second Csection with a 20 month old. The best thing I did was start explaining to him what booboos are so that when he saw me hurting and laying around that he wouldn't freak out. I will honestly say that his reaction to my Csection was the hardest part if it all though. He was mad at me for not playing with him and then picking the baby up but not him.
Definitely get help for at least the first 2 weeks. You won't be able to do alot of things for your toddler. But I will say all in all my recovery was tons better than the first. I was in labor all day and pushed for hours with the first Csection and could't walk much even a week after. Whereas with this one I was going up the stairs easily after a few days!

Best of luck to you.
L.

Your recovery will be much quicker, you will not have gone through hours labor. My first c-section was after almost a 40 hour induction I was exhausted. The second c-section was nice I could plan everything and I knew what to expect.

Your little guy will be fine just tell him your going to the hospital to have the baby, two year olds bounce back pretty quick.

You've got great responses, but your story sounds exactly like mine too. HOpefully #2 won't be in the hospital as long as the first and your husband won't have to take 3 weeks off.

Get your little boy used to climbing up on Mommy, stop picking him up, because you won't be able to afterwards. Also, since my son was only 2 yo when his sister came, we had my MIL come and stay at our house with him so that he would be sleeping in his own bed and in familiar surroundings. He of course cried as we both were leaving, because we'd never done that before, but we called him a few minutes down the road and my MIL had distracted him with a movie (Toy Story his favorite) and he was fine. The next day my MIL brought him to the hospital to visit me and see his new sister and he did great and went back to our house with her just fine.

We were fortunate that our daughter learned to eat faster than our son and was able to come home from the hospital with me after 4 days. Our son was in the NICU for 10 days. Apparetnly girls develop the sucking technique in the womb earlier than boys.

I don't think we brought our son a gift, but I can't remember. Don't worry, even though you will, kids are resiliant, especially at such a young age.

Good Luck and congratulations!

Hi J.-

I've had three c-sections and each time the recovery seemed faster and easier. For me the first one was definitely the hardest, but with the second and third I was up and around within days. I think the most difficult part about having a baby and a toddler to take care of is just reminding yourself not to overdo it. Though I never had any problems, I probably did do too much too soon. I'd say not to worry about it too much. Just make sure to listen to your body...and don't be afraid to ask for lots of help!

Good luck!

Very brief history: First baby born with shoulder dystocia 12/95. 14.5 months later (3/97), second born emergency c-section... terrible recovery both times. #3 was born a few weeks before #2 was turning 3 (2/00) with a planned c-section and #4 seven years later (2/07), also planned c-section.

We didn't have many problems at all with the 2 older kids when their sibs came home at a young age. #1 was very little, but I had never been away from him when I had #2. I left him in the care of my mother and my husband came to the hosp as soon as he was off work and didn't leave. #1 came to see me as soon as it was over and we got clearance from the hosp staff. When #3 came along it the same story, only it was nice because Mom came to the hosp about 2 hours after us. As soon as the surg was over, #1 and #2 could see their brother and myself. Seriously not long from admitting to having baby in your arms. Recovery was EASY compared to the first section. I didn't have to recover from labor too and I already knew what to expect from my own body. The kids ajusted well. Honestly, the hardest one for the kids was my last. #3 was used to being the "baby" for seven years... he's still ajusting if you ask me, but at first it was okay. Again, the surgery went as expected and my recovery seemed easier still.

Regardless, I'm sure that everything will work out fine.

Hi-
I had our second baby this past June. My oldest daughter was 2.5 when baby sister arrived. I had a c-section w/ both. I had many of the same concerns you've expressed. We had never left our daughter for more than a few hours and certainly not overnight. I was so nervous and emotional about it. I talked to her little by little over the last couple months of my pregnancy about where mommy and daddy were going to be and focused on the positive fun side...she got to play her cousins and aunt and uncle and could come see us whenever she wanted. I was most worried about bedtime as I was the only one who ever put her to bed. She did so well, it almost made me sad!! They grow up fast when new baby arrives!
As far as the second c-section it was MUCH easier and faster recovery than the first time. Mostly, I think this is because you'll know what to expect this time and be prepared for how you're going to feel. You will still need others to help a lot for the first couple weeks so you can recover, but you will be amazed that it's easier this time. Prepare your toddler that you'll have a big owie on your tummy and it will be sore. They can't fully understand and get excited about being w/mommy and seeing new baby so, cover your tummy with pillows to protect yourself!! I'm sure all will go well for you. Congrats this is an exciting time for your family!!
Best of luck!

You are reliving my scenario. My son was 23 months old when my daughter was born via c-section. My second, with my first c-section being an emergency c also. We had not left my son overnight, except one time on our anniversary. My husband didn't stay in the hospital with me after our daughter was born. He went home to our son. I think it worked out perfectly. I was able to really bond with our new daughter and he was able to assure our son and get him ready to meet his sister. We had my mother-in-law stay with our son while I was giving birth and then bring him to the hospital for a quick visit. Then my husband took him home. I was able to just spend time and get to know our daughter. The nurses are there to take care of you so you don't need your husband to run and get you things. It was nice to have that time with her. Our son spent the first 3 days in the nursury after his birth because he had breathing issues so it was really nice to have my daughter in the room with me and everything was so easy- breastfeeding, etc. You will also be amazed how much easier the second c-section is to recover from. I think it's two things. One- your body has been through it before so it's not as sensitive and two- you have a toddler to take care of. Make sure you have help for the first couple weeks because you will be slower moving around, but be sure to get up and walk as much as possible, as soon as possible. I think it really helped me to not be laying around all the time. It was a luxury with the first baby, but you can't really do that with the second. I also think moving around more and sooner helped my body heal faster. You are going to have your hands full the first year, but they are such a joy when they are close in age and can play together. my kids, boy and girl, love playing together. They share the same interests at this point and so it's really fun to watch. Congratulations!

I have a 2.5 year old and a 10 month old, girls and I was pretty nervous about the transition with the new baby. I got a few books about being a big sister and about having a new baby, and read them to her. She was only about 18-20 months old when we started this (about 2-3 months before the baby came) and I wondered if she would understand. It seemed like she did - especially as the delivery date drew near. She was 22 months when her sister was born. We talked about it with her and she seemed really excited, and very interested in babies.

As for the c-section, I had two c-sections and I really liked that I knew the date and how to have coverage for my daughter when I was in the hospital. At her age, she really wasn't too freaked about it or anything. We happened to have a huge snowstorm that day & week so she couldn't visit as initially planned and that was a little h*** o* her as she got quite needy when I got home. Speaking of which, she was VERY clingy needy for about 3-4 months after that.

As for the recovery, you will find that recovery is MUCH better with a planned c-section. I really found that to be true, as did many of my friends in the same position. It is still hard though, and I thought the hardest part was that for several weeks I was unable to lift my daughter and that meant not being able to put her down, since I couldn't lift her in and out of the crib. And it also meant not really being alone with her for awhile, and I missed having 1-1 time with her. Also, with the not lifting thing - there are creative things you can do. For awhile, I thought I couldn't even get her into her booster chair at the table, but then I put another chair next to it and she was able to climb on that and then we could get her into the chair without lifting. Look for things like that!

In a lot of ways, this transition will go smoother than you will think. It is amazing how the kids adjust. Hang in there, it will be really fun once you see them start to make each other laugh!!!