Pregnant; Feeling Anxious and Impatient

Aaaaw! Honestly, you're so sweet! I felt the same with all three of mine. Now they're 20, 18, and 15, and any given 9 months of their lives is life a flash of light.

I know this doesn't help much, what you're going through now is a singular space in time that will never be repeated.

Congratulations, I'm so happy for you.

Seriously, hang out with us for the waiting time you have left and you might not be in such a big rush!

;)

First of all, you should talk to your OB. Always keep the path of communication open and let him/her know how you're feeling. (Sometimes extreme feelings can be signs of a hormone imbalance they would want to know about.)

Cut back or cut out the caffeine. It will amp up your nerves. Look at other sources of stimulation in your diet as well. Chocolate can be a mood booster, but it also has caffeine, so use sparingly. Try some herbal teas like chamomile. It will help with the stomach issues associated with pregnancy and also has a soothing effect.

Try prenatal yoga. The breathing and stretching are exactly what your body and spirit need at this stage. You can get a video or, better yet, find a prenatal yoga class. With the class you have the added benefit of joining a community of other expectant mothers who can help keep you calm and grounded through this experience.

Good luck.

Congratulations!

You're probably already doing this, but can you channel some of this anxiety and impatience into preparing for the baby? People spend a lot of time an energy on nurseries and wardrobes, but here's a list of things I think may be more important:

* Do you have a pediatrician lined up? If not, take the time to interview a few. In Santa Cruz (lucky you!), you probably have the option to see more holistically oriented practitioners, if that interests you -- do some research and find a good fit.

* Work out. Seriously, the birth will be easier, and your time as a new mom, will go much more smoothly if you go into it fit. If you can take a prenatal yoga class, that's also a great way to meet other expectant moms and build a parenting community.

* Make sure you have the things the baby really, truly needs. Cutesy little hats and outfits? No. A matchy-matchy little nursery? No. 10 million wipes and then some? Now you're talking.

* Find out in advance about resources like lactation consultants, La Leche League groups, doulas if you want that -- all that stuff.

* Cook and freeze some nutritious meals NOW -- you'll thank yourself in 5 months' time. Just be sure to include dark, leafy greens -- you're going to need the iron.

* Listen to music! Your baby's ears will be fully developed within a month or two, and he/she will pick up on the rhythms and melodies you play. Some people listen to classical, some people choose specific music that represents their culture -- but listen to something. Whatever you play now will be your baby's best and truest lullaby upon birth.

Congratulations!

I also wanted a baby for a long time and am 6 weeks away from the birth! I am not naturally an anxious or impatient person, so maybe this won't help you too much, but thought I'd suggest :)

I really enjoy scrapbooking. It's nothing fancy but I've been doing it since my husband and I met, so I have 13 years worth of our lives in these books. Working on the 'pregnancy' pages is fun. It lets me focus on the joy of pregnancy and the feelings I had during each step of the way. I had my husband take a picture of me every few weeks, and I put the picture with a description of how I was feeling, about how big the baby is, when I started to feel movement, etc. I put the congrats cards, ultrasounds and baby shower stuff in there too. Sometimes its better to just look forward to the next step instead of focusing on something that's a few months away.

If you like that sort of thing, give it a try and start a book!

I know you aren't going to believe me yet, but you ought to be happy for this time when your baby ISN'T in your arms yet. You have a built in crib for your baby where she grows, eats, and sleeps and you can get something, anything done. You will have YEARS of "mommy, mommy, mommy! wah-wah-wah" over and over, enough to drive you to tears when you are frazzled and tired. That's when you'll look back on your pregnancy and think that it was a magical time. You HAVE a baby. You ARE holding her. She's where she's supposed to be.

If nothing else helps you get over wanting to hold your baby before 40 weeks, this should.

You are also hormonal. Accept it and just do what you are supposed to be doing, getting plenty of sleep, eating right, drinking plenty of water and seeing the doctor. Read pregnancy books and immerse yourself in that. When you are in your last month, THEN read "What to Expect the First Year".

When you haven't slept more than a few hours a night the first few weeks, you'll wish you appreciated the 9 months you had to get used to having a baby more, I promise you...

Dawn

i was always wanting a baby. my whole life all i dreamed about was having my own little family. then i finally got pregnant and was so excited and just couldn't wait until he was here. all i thought about was my baby being here and how much better it would be and how much happier everything would be.. well after having the baby all i could think about was man i miss being pregrant because i had a special bonding with my baby that nobody else had and i had him all to my self and because all i thought about while pregnant i didnt get to actually sit back and relax and enjoy that specail feeling...
so please just relax and enjoy being pregnant. it is the most special and precious thing that you will every experence and later you will look back and want that bonding all to your self.. it the most wonderful feeling ever..
The labor should be that bad but all women are different but if it makes you feel better i didnt feel nothing til i was 4 cm and i got to get my epidural at 6 cm and i didnt feel a lot of pain. hope everthing goes well.

My daughter subscribed to a web site that described each day or maybe it was just once a week the growth of the baby. This added to her excitement and gave her something to talk about with us and her older children. I could see how that would make holding your baby feel more real. That might help you too.

I think what you are going through is very normal. It's hard to bond with our babies when they are inside of us! I am pregnant with my third and a few weeks behind you (15w 3d) and this time around I am taking a hypnobabies class. They teach you how to relax through labor and childbirth, and they ALSO teach you how to bond with your baby while pregnant. At first the classes and idea seemed crazy but it has really really helped me feel connected to the baby and feel much more confident about birth. Best of luck momma!

First of all, anxiety is extremely common during pregnancy, and not just because you're going through a big life change. All of those new hormones coursing through your body can lead to hormone-based feelings of anxiety, isolation, and depression. I suffered from it to such a severe extent that it was actually diagnosed as prenatal depression, which is less well-known than postpartum depression, but triggered by the same thing - all those pesky hormones.

As a side note, people who suffer from prenatal depression and anxiety are considerably more likely to suffer from postpartum depression as well, so make sure you tell your OB and husband what you are experiencing, so that they might be able to better monitor your moods after the baby is born.

So one thing that helped me deal during my second pregnancy was to remind myself that my anxiety was at least in part hormonal, and do some breathing exercises to help me calm down. Someone down below recommended scrapbooking, and I think that is a great idea. Also, do some things to celebrate being childless for the last time - go out to eat on the spur of the moment, go see a movie, get your nails done, whatever it is that interests you. After this baby arrives, all of that will be a lot more complicated.

Good luck, and congratulations on your impending new family member.

Leslie says it well. Remember too that you are holding your child. This is the only time you'll be able to hold him/her in this way, once they're out in the world they're out. Now the wee one is protected and warm and comfy. Appreciate holding him now. Sending loving thoughts and warmth and words to your baby, sing to him/her, pick a nursery rhyme or two and say it a few times a day with cheerfulness. The baby will know these later after birth. Pick a song or two now that will bring all the more comfort and bonding later on those nights you're up rocking him to sleep.

You're in parparation time, let it be just that - let if flow and unfold, you've much to experience yet. Let your baby have his full nine months and build strength and health. Let yourself pray a quiet prayer when feeling anxious. Maybe there is a verse or mantra or motto you can remind yourself with every day, put it up on the wall or mirror.

BE WELL and RELAX - Let the Joy In - Don't be afraid.

Get some books to read about this and other things concerning pregnancy, if you can't afford them, go to the library. Look through some sites. But don't get yourself worked up.

Sending thoughts of gentle, flowing soothing energy for you and teeny, tiny precious baby.

Think of it this way. You are always holding him/her. This way you never have to put your baby down. Sing and talk while you do dishes or whatever. When you start feeling the kicks and the moves, "play with it". I would take my hand if it was chilly (not to bad thought) and put it on my belly. DS would kick and kick. It was amazing.

Congratulations Mama! And dont worry about labor. It will go how it will go. You cant change it or anticipate it because every one is different. Just enjoy having your little one so close!

Find a support group or a therapist. While anxiety is quite common in pregnancy (and parenthood), it doesn't need to take over your life :) Sometimes, just having someone to talk to and get advise from can help tremendously. We weren't meant to do this on our own, but that's exactly what we face in the typical American society, and it can be very overwhelming.

Do what it takes to help yourself be and stay calm and give you the opportunity to REALLY enjoy your pregnancy :)