PPD - What Is Normal and What Needs Medical Attention?

It sounds like you are feeling extremely overwhelmed and kind of want that ideal that does not really exist. Because you are feeling this way, you should call you OB/Gyn and tell them about it. It is better to take care of things and try to improve now than wait and se if anything changes in the next few months. Possibly just a few counseling sessions will help. A friend of mine had a much worse case and was hospitalized. However she denied it for over 4 months before that happened. You know something is wrong. Call now to at least talk about it.

Hi A.,

I had PPD with my first child and didn't realize it at all--my mother did and sent me straight to the phone to call my OB. He put me on a hormone patch (like for menopausal women) until my 6-week PP appointment because yes, this is often nothing more than our hormone levels going completely out of whack after delivery.

If that didn't work, they would have looked at anti-depressants, but this did the trick. In fact, my mom said there was a difference in me within TWO HOURS after putting the patch on. I was afraid to take it off when the time came, but I was fine.

Please call your doctor and ask about this. Going from 1 to 2 kids is so, so hard--much harder than going from 2 to 3 or more. Don't wait to call. You should not suffer any longer. And I went through the same thing with the breastfeeding/2nd baby/1st child sobbing & jealous. It happens to almost all families, and everyone WILL come out unscathed, trust me! Just take care of this for yourself now.

Hugs...

Hi A.,

I went through something very similar. Breastfeeding was a nightmare and was making me resent my son so I stopped after the 2nd day and never looked back. For the first 5 weeks I cried all the time and even told my mom I made a mistake and didn't want my son! I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't have that immediate bond with my son that everyone talks about. I told my OB about it at my check up and she put me on Lexapro, which helped ALOT, especially with the anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed. I took it for about 2 months and then was able to cope on my own. I also kept telling myself that I was a good mom and we were going to be fine...it was my mantra! My son is now almost 3 years old and we are best buddies and have a very special bond which I think somehow came out of the rough start we had. As far as your older son is concerned, he can sense that you are stressed out and upset, and he is responding to that in addition to the normal feeling of jealousy that comes from having a new baby in the house. If you can start working on feeling better, he will pick up on that too. Once you get settled into a daily routine, and if you can get him into the "big brother" role by having him "help" you with the baby, he will start to come around. This will probably take some time and trial and error, but it will come. Another thing that will help is try to make some time to take care of yourself-get a double jogger and go for walks (once your OB says it's OK). It calms you and them at the same time, and I think one of the reasons that I didn't need the Lexapro for so long was that I tried hard to resume exercising to relieve my stress. Remember, a happy mom makes for happy kids (another one of my mantras!). There is nothing to be ashamed of in any of this, and if someone tells you otherwise...shame on them! I wish you the best and hope that you feel better very soon! :)

HI A.! I bawled my head off for 10 days after my daughter was born. I loved her but she turned our household upside down and I didn't know what to do. It was terrible! Slowly it got better. Part of what helped was making NEW routines instead of holding fast to the old ones and having them be disasterous.
My friend, it's time to make a new normal. You are right to incorporate the whole family and it will take your son some time to adjust. One thing that we realized was that we couldn't forgo our normal discipline just because our 3.5 year old sons life was turned upside down.

Absolutely talk to your doctor. So many women try to tough it out for a couple of weeks and it turns into toughing it out for MONTHS. You may not need any meds, but sometimes talking to someone who knows exactly how you are feeling can make alot of things feel right again.
BLESSINGS on you, mommy! I hope things get easier VERY soon!

Please contact your physician about your feelings. I was the same way after my twins were born last year, and talked to my mother about it. She suggested I just wait it out, and that things would get better like they had with my daughter. Unfortunately, they didn't get better....they just got worse. Thank goodness my m-i-l was watchful and came over to help as much as possible. By the time I finally sought treatment, my boys were almost 7 months old, and I was spending at least half of my day locked in the bathroom crying, I didn't sleep, and my hair was falling out. It took several of my friends, and a few of DH's family members to get me to realize that I needed help. I started on Pristiq, and I felt the difference within about 2 weeks, and it helped so much! I was sleeping, and because of that was better able to care for my children and myself. After about 2 months, I felt great, and then found out I was pregnant again. I weaned off of my meds, and am still feeling good, though I know I will probably need to go back on them after the baby is born.

I know that things are hard for you now, but please know that things will get better! Seeking treatment/help is not a bad thing, and medication isn't always needed.

Good luck to you!

I just posted a question just like this a few days agao. I have a 2 1/2 year old son and just had our daughter 8 days agao. I to couldn't stop crying when i got home. It has been ok the last few days but i never know how im going to feel each day. I was told that its normal for this to happen the first couple weeks. If it lasts longer than that than i should contact my dr. It will take time but i just keep thinking that within a few months my son will be adjusted just fine and soon he wont even remember this trasition period. Bed time at first was a nightmare and now i found that it helps if we put the baby to bed togeather first and then i let him pick out a book or two to read to him in his bed, we say our prayers and give hugs goodnight. that way he still gets some one on one mommy time and so far it seems to work ok. If the baby is crying its ok to let him cry for just a few minutes while you put your older son first. I also try to let me son be involved as possible. he will get me the diapers and wipes and help feed the bottles. Dont be stressed about breastfeeding. I personally dont enjoy it and have been pumping and doing a combo deal of breast milk and formula. By the time she is 6 weeks old she will be mostly just formula since i go back to work and dont have the patience for pumping. Some people dont agree with that but its my choice. There is nothing wrong with formula at all. I know a lot of people that felt this same way after thier second was born and all got over it quick. Hang in there. You are not alone. I also bring my son to daycare everyday to keep him in his normal routine. That helps to so that i can try and catch a nap during the day and have the extra bonding time with the baby. things will get easier. Congrats on number two and just think within a year they will just love eachother and will love growing up togeather.

I personally would like to say KUDO's to you for having a second child! I only had one because 2 tired me so! :) Next be easy on your selfyou aren't superwoman! It's okay to make a mistake and for one of them to cry or both of them,they're children,they WILL cry sometimes.Be kind to you.When you feel good,they can feel good too.Step three,there aare a million ways to solve this issue,medication(since you have trouble breast feeding)It's not a big deal,women all over the world do it by bottle sweetheart.If you can breast it great,if you can't no big deal.I personally couldn't and I don't feel the slightest bit bad about it!My son is 6'2" and 200lb body building!:) I'm sure the other mothers will have some awesome solutions that I haven't mentioned as well.Be good to yourself and hang in there.Take a triple(3 person) (bath&nap time! :)

I am sorry. Lack of sleep alone is difficult. The renovation by itself would tire me. I would contact your doctor about your feelings. One thing that my sister told me that helped with the older child adjusing to the new baby is to tell the older child that the baby will look up to him. The baby loves to watch you and what you are doing. See the baby watch you...he is learning from you. It is great to be the older child. There are many good books for older siblings with a new baby. I really like "The New Baby by Mercer Mayer".

It has only been six days. Cut yourself some slack. I remember crying
a lot after #4 because no one really acknowledged her birth. Family wa s
like Oh another baby, so soon. I got over it but when I look back I thought
it was crazy to cry over that. Hormones.

I look around today and notice that everyone wants everything perfect for
their kids.They shouldn't be stressed, los a game, etc. That is not the
real world.

Go with your gut. Newborns really do not require a lot. Spend the time
with the older one. Everyone will adjust. I think sometimes Moms expec-
tations are high. Relax, breathe and enjoy the men in your life.

If you feel the crying goes beyoung the normal post partum hormones,
call you doc.

Call your OB. They can help you determine how serious this is. While all of what you are feeling can be VERY normal after pregnancy, this might be a little more than normal. You are right to seek counsel, and I think this is the perfect place for it. We can give you our honest opinions without the 'sugarcoating' we sometimes do with our friends in person :).

That being said, you are wise to think about this, and should make an appt. with your OB today. It surely won't hurt. As to breastfeeding, RELAX! Sure, we all know breast milk is awesome. But so is formula for those who need it. Maybe do some of each to take the pressure off? He would still get the benefits of your milk, but you can give yourself a well-deserved break.

Hubby is right that you can't pretend the baby doesn't exist, but maybe he could jump in at bedtime, or some other time, as well if he hasn't already? Don't forget to tell your older one that he is lucky to have a sibling, and the baby is lucky to have him. You will never regret giving him a brother (once you get through this patch :)).

This will get easier, but it is okay to need help, and to get it. Also, the poster who said some of this is tied to sleep deprivation is right! Any way you can get someone to stop by for an hour or two so you can get a nap in? At least do it when hubby is off work for sure! I know it is hard to give yourself those breaks, but please try!

Best wishes.

It's best to call your OB office and talk. I was hit with the crying after 3 of my 4 babies (the other one slept all the time and so did I, so there's a definate link to lack of sleep). I was 42 when I had my last baby and the crying hit me on day 7, so this could just be the normal hormonal turmoil.
This is common and the doctor's office can clearly help you determine if there is a need for medication. My sister ignored the symptoms and ended up hospitalized (she had moved out of state just before the baby's birth, so no family or friends)
Let big brother help with the baby by getting a diaper, washcloth, etc. You can still read bedtime stories while nursing the baby- I've done it many a night.

You are in the midst of a very stressful transition period. Its unfortunate that you feel you cant share with friends & family but I want you to know this is a common and most likely a temporary state. It's a mix of hormones and a load of stress. Sometimes the biggest problem about our problems is how they make us feel: inadequate, guilty, frustrated, angry, sad. What are you telling yourself? Are they thoughts of criticism & blame? You sound like a very loving mom who has set extremely high standards for herself. Can you cut yourself some slack? Anti-depressants can be helpful but did you know you can change your chemistry other ways? Deep breathing is a very effective & rapid way to change your chemistry. It sends more oxygen to your brain cells & triggers the relaxation response. Negative thoughts & self talk trigger a release of stress hormones. Guide your thoughts & self talk to a kind & more gentle place, how you might comfort your children or a friend. When I had PPD a nurse told me depression was the result of repressed anger. It took me a while to figure out why I was angry. We live in a society where we are conditioned from birth to repress our feelings & that results in a lot of pressure that has to go somewhere. Crying is a natural release but it cant be the only one we lean on. Ask others for help. Get hubby to pick up a bunch of your favorite comedies & hire a teen or sitter to play with big brother. Stress cant be avoided but it can be balanced. Congratulations on your new son!