Help Is This PPD and Is There OTC Medication That Can Help???

Updated on February 02, 2009
B.G. asks from Worcester, MA
20 answers

My sister in law gave birth to my nephew 15 days ago and she is on an emotional roller coaster. She is not concerned about hurting herself or the baby, she is absolutely gaga over him, she tried for 10 years to have him. The issue is she is crying non stop about everything, feels like she is going to be a failure as a mom, is worried about everything. I remember feeling that way with my first one but that was 24 years ago and we didn't really talk about it and I was only 19 so it was expected of me to not to be able to handle it. My sister in law is in her late 30's. I was wondering if there are any vitamins like vitamin B or maybe midol pms that she could take, she is not breast feeding, she couldn't her milk did not come in which was upsetting to her also. She is a diabetic and has PCOS. Hopefully someone will have some answers or helpful hints for us, she is planning on calling her obgyn but I hope we can get some help from the ladies with experience. Thanks.

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M.M.

answers from Providence on

Sounds like Post Partum Depression definately - she needs more than OTC - If you are in RI- Women & Infants has an excellent day program that can help her through this difficult time, she needs to go NOW... Or call her OB/GYN - they can get her ( or you) in touch with the right people.. she may need to be persuaded to go..Wishing her the best and a speedy recovery!

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S.L.

answers from Boston on

Hi!
Itis really great that your sister in law has come to you with her feelings! What a great person you are for trying to help!
I was in the same situation as your sister in law. I figured it was normal and would go away, but it didnt, I got more emotional, more moody and became a nervous wreck. I decided to talk with my Doctor about it..I actually made the appointment for another reason and then while I was there, I told them how I was feeling. I was put on a small dose of anti depressants, and I felt so much better. I do remember doing research a while back and found St.Johns Wort ( which is a herbal supplement) helps with depression, but it is not as effective or approved by the FDA. I would recommend that she talks with the Doctor, and who knows, for a lot of women this feeling goes away once the hormanes get more balanced. As you know, becoming a mom is exhausting, not only the hormore change, but the lack of sleep can cause emotions to go crazy! Does anyone help her out? help cook, clean or watch the baby so she can rest? This could help too! I wish your family the best, and I truly hope that your sister in law is back to herself soon!

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

B. it sounds like she could have a moderate to severe case of post partum depression. I have noticed with you new mums than many are having their first babies while in their thirties and I believe that may have something to do with the severity of the PPD.
In my day we were having our last babies from age 30 to 35..our bodies acted much differently than the first time mums at that age.
PPD in some degree is normal and expected and can last varying amounts of time.
It is NOT a mental disorder though the symptoms are the same. And, depending on the severity it could be dangerous.
You must tell her to consult with her obgyn and not diminish the symptoms she is experiencing. Many women are embarrassed by it and are not completely candid when talking with their doctors.
She may need some sort of anti depressant for awhile to help her through it.
It is due to a radical hormonal change . Some women suffer an extreme hormonal change which results in the more serious PPD.
I shall not go into possible behaviors caused by this condition and neither should she. Hers does not sound like the worst case ever but simply one she does need help with for a bit.
She is NOT defined by the depression...it is merely her body recovering from the pregnancy and birth and with a tincture of time, she will be fine.
Exercise, food, rest, and family/friends supporting her will help immensely.
That being said, she should NOT put off seeing her doctor for help .
She should, with help and advice, be readily able to lactate, especially after only two weeks. Doc can reccommend a lactation specialist. We did not have those to talk with..we simply put the child to breast for first five minutes of each feeding, gradually increasing as the milk came in. There may be better methods now but it worked for us back when!!!
If she is breast feeding the doctor will prescribe a med for her that will not harm her baby.
Please encourage her to not delay an appointment with her doc, yes?

Wishing all of you the best and God bless,
Grandmother Lowell

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B.W.

answers from Boston on

Be there, be there, be there

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C.R.

answers from Boston on

Hi B.: speaking as a mom and as a midwife, it's really normal for your SIL to be on an emotional rollercoaster so immediately. Her hormones are readjusting and wacky, which is why she is so up and down. She needs lots of visits, phone calls, offers to do things: relieve her of every possible expectation except to be with her baby. If she wants to breastfeed, she may still be able to with the assistance of a lot of support and help from a lactation consultant. Consider contacting La Leche League as they are a wonderful support and resource. The breastfeeding/suckling will also help release oxytocin, which is the hormone that can help stabilize emotions and contributes to maternal/infant bonding. She is probably overwhelmed by the amazingness of this new life that she waited 10 long years to have. She should continue her prenatal vitamins and yes, a stress b complex vitamin is also a good idea. Encourage, or help her to find, a new moms group that she and the baby can go to on a weekly basis. Sometimes these are offered through hospitals; Isis offers them for a cost; sometimes local libraries or children's toy stores offer them for free. If this is not possible, maybe an on-line group would at least give her a place to vent and understand that other moms are also going through this.
I have an eleven month old and I still vividly remember in the days and weeks after her birth, feeling so raw by the intensity of my feelings for her. I was overwhelmed by fears that something might happen to my husband and I and what would happen to her?, etc.
Your SIL is lucky to have you; a caring SIL. Be available to her; hug her; tell her what a wonderful mother she is; acknowledge how complicated motherhood can be and how normal it is for her to have lots of different feelings about it. NORMALIZE her experience. If it continues or worsens into a PPD then she may need additional help; at 15 days, what you are describing seems very normal.
Take care.
C.

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D.N.

answers from Hartford on

It really is impossible for you to tell if this is normal or something that could be potentially dangerous. It is without a doubt a very high stress period after giving birth and very normal to cry and feel scared, etc, but I think she should talk to her OB about this just to make sure that she is really okay, as it is a well known fact that post partum depression can be very severe for some.

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J.E.

answers from Boston on

B.,
Her emotional roller coaster like behavior is completely normal...her hormones are all over the place right now. I don't think that there is an immediate cause for concern. With my second, I cried a lot, but got over that hump and moved on. I am sure your sister will too. Her concern about being a failure is natural too, my kids are 6 and 2 and sometimes I still get those worries. :) If it's concerning enough for her to call her OB, then I am sure her OB will help her out and point her in the right direction, good luck.

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C.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi B.,
My name is C. and I know many women who have found help from biodentical hormone balancing cream. If you would like more information, please contact me. I am a rep for Arbonne Internrational and I have many clients who have had life changing success with this product.
Sincerely,
C. W.
###-###-####

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

2 weeks in... she is probably sleep deprived and just getting over the "high" of giving birth to a baby she waited so long to have. Reality is setting in. She is lucky to have a concerned person in the family such as yourself. Call often to check in, offer help and support, tell her she's doing a great job, her baby looks good, etc. Share your own experiences of emotional ups and downs so she knows that this is a normal transition period for new moms. Offer information and support regarding breastfeeding only if she seems like she is still interested in persuing that. It might be difficult to re-establish her milk supply. She will probably need to use a supplemental feeding system like one of the other moms suggested (tube taped to breast). Get in touch with a lactation consultant if she's interested in that, but don't push too much. If she is interested, please be there to help every step of the way since this can be a huge source of stress for people, and it doesn't always work! Let her know that things WILL get easier! She has to see light at the end of this "I'm a shitty new mom" tunnel. It's hard enough being a new mom, to have a chronic illness like diabetes must make things even more stressful. Her blood sugars are probably all over the place, which may be contributing to her mood swings. She might be having trouble figuring out how much insulin she needs now that she is no longer pregnant, her needs have changed. I imagine it's quite stressful. I would encourage her to give it time. Remember that antidepressants take a few weeks to have an effect, she might feel better on her own in a couple of weeks! in which case you'll never know if the meds had anything to do with her improved mood. They also have side effects. I say give it a few weeks, be there with the tissues, and babysit so she can take a nap every now and then. also, tell her about mamasource!

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Call her OBGYN IMMEDIATELY! She needs all of the support she can get. It sounds like PPD. Don't try to solve it yourself. What if something goes wrong? If she gets over it quickly, that's all well and good. BUT she might not,so better to have her OBGYN involved. That's why Brooke Shields wrote herbook, Down Came The Rain. She was thinking of killing herself. Give your SIL all the support she needs. I had my babies in my 30s. I felt like having babies is best for the more youthful or at least more healthy. I can't imagine having diabetes and having a baby, it must be exhausting. Call her OB NOW.

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P.M.

answers from Boston on

I think that because she only had the baby 15 days ago that it's all hormones. I was a basket case after I had my daughter. I'm not a crier but when my daughter wasn't breastfeeding well or gaining weight it made me cry. Also just being really tired made me a little unstable. Plus it was so cold outside that I couldn't just get out I felt trapped in my house(my daughter was born Jan 4, 2008).
Plus with the holidays it's always a tough time to just relax.
If she continues to cry a lot or start "hating" herself or the baby and is thinking bad thoughts of harming or ignoring the baby then I'ld be worried.
Congrads on becoming an aunt

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K.D.

answers from Providence on

my sister had some of the same problems she actually went to a day program in providence through bulter hospital I would suggest you encourage her to talk to her ob gyn. it is a difficult transition esp with your first and someitmes our expectations of the prefect post partum don;t quite meet our expectations my sister went thru intensive therapy and she also needed some medicine. she still sees the therapist occasionally and has found it to be very helpful..... mother of 13 11 8 and 20mths K. d

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S.S.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like hormones are on the loose! A good heart-to-heart with her ob/gyn or primary care doctor would be great right about now, I suspect.

That being said...been there, done that! I had our son at 36, just a couple months from 37. Although some women might be wiser and more relaxed in some respects as an older mom, it also does a serious job on your psyche and your energy levels! If she's been a professional woman up till now, she might be feeling like "I'm intelligent, I'm mature...why is this soooo hard?!"

Some of us older mom's are too informed for our own good. That may or may not be the case with your SIL, but I'm guessing I'm not too far off the mark. I can remember beating myself up emotionally, quite often, because I felt like I should know how to do...XYZ...already. Why? Because I'm female? Because I was older? Regardless of age, it's all a learning experience.

My husband is 6-1/2 years older than me, so he was 43 when our son was born, and we both were reduced to driveling idiots sometimes when it came to parenting! I can laugh about it now, but I cannot tell you how many arguments we had about the "right" way to hold our son or to nurse or to do just about anything else. It could have been a comedy routine! We were pathetic! However, in the moment, it was devastating.

There is something to be said for youth and ignorance when it comes to having a new baby! All kidding aside, energy, hormones and sleep-deprivation are probably doing their dirt about now with your SIL. Plus, she probably needs to verify that her blood sugar levels are all up to snuff as well.

See if she has access to a visiting nurse or lactation consultant (it took me a month or more before I got the hang of breastfeeding); be there for your SIL; help her see the humor in this new adventure; remind her that it is a learning experience (not everyone knows intuitively what to do); help her get out and meet some new moms; and help her to get some exercise at whatever pace she is able (it helps the endorphins kick in).

Did she have a C-section? If so, that's particularly a drag when you're older, too. It took me a full 6-8 weeks or more just to be able to get to the point of being able to enjoy our little one without some pain. The older you are, the longer it takes to heal! Meanwhile, I feared I wasn't bonding appropriately with our son while my husband was bonding wonderfully! I was feeling deficient in all sorts of ways...whether real or imagined.

If there is any way to help her see the humor and joy in the midst of this all, it may go a long way to recovery. Of course, that can be a fine line. One person's humor might be another person's breaking point. Be gentle with her and remind her to be gentle with herself as well.

If you can make meals for her or have someone help with cleaning, you might be surprised how that lifts a person's spirits. Or just being there sometimes is the trick.

Best of luck!

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C.L.

answers from Hartford on

Hi! My daughter had her first child at 35 and went through the same thing. Her hormones were so eratic she was questioning herself as a mother etc. For the 1st two weeks after baby her husband stayed with her to help her out. For 3 weeks after that I went to help her out with the baby, the house and giving her moral support. I know not everyone has someone to help out that way but after I went home I would call her to give her support.

I also represent a company called Melaleuca who has all natural products which include vitamins, cleaning products and so on you can check out my website if you'd like www.dancingbubbles.fourpointwellness.com or e-mail me at ____@____.com I'm not responding to promote my business. I'm to let you know that if what she's feeling is real bad she should speak to her obgyn he/she can determine best if she needs medication to get her emotional issues under control. Otherwise I recommend healthy eating, exercise and family support. The other thing I thought might help is Estroven (I took it when going through menopause and had a great deal of hormonal issues; due to a history of breast cancer I elected not to take hormones) it's natural and helps control the mood swings. She is going through a great deal of changes physically, mentally and emotionally. Keep giving her all the support you can. Good luck!

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

Fish oil and B vitamins can both be very helpful.

There is help if she still wants to breastfeed - it is VERY rare that a mom truly cannot breastfeed if she gets the right help. She could also do the formula using a "Lact-Aid" device, which is a little tube you tape to your breast, so the baby sucks your nipple and the tube - then they get the formula, but you get the bonding of breastfeeding. Check out www.kellymom.com for amazing breastfeeding resources. I think she would feel so much better if she could breastfeed. Also, I felt the same way - I loved my baby but I was a total mess - felt like I was doing everything wrong, etc. It just took time, time, time to get over it.

Also, with diabetes and PCOS I would seriously consider that she may be gluten intolerant (which can also cause emotional upheaval) - it is a systemic problem and a lot of doctors don't understand all it can do. I ordered a home test for it from www.enterolab.com - it is definitely the cause of much, much PCOS. I'm pretty sure the OB/GYN will suggest antidepressants, which I wouldn't necessarily go with until she's tried the natural alternatives. There can be nasty side effects and you don't want to be dealing with those while you're still recovering from birth!

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

Look into something called Mother Wort. It's a homeopath and is best in tincture (liquid form). Different than St Johns Wort and can work withing 20 minutes, like homeopaths do. Safe while breastfeeding.

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D.K.

answers from Boston on

your poor sister in law! She needs to call her obgyn right away. When I felt like this I called mine and she said immediately to put the baby somewhere safe w/ someone and come to her office right away. It was the best think I ever did. I wass put on a low dose on antidep and it mae a workd of difference. My baby has colic and cried 18 hours(yup 18) a day. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Tell her shes not alone maybe show her these responses and tell het to conctact her dr asap. Good luck let us know how things go!

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A.R.

answers from Boston on

B., is your sister-in-law involved in a Mom's group? I didn't have kids until my 30's and it doesn't matter how "old" you are, first babies are a scary prospect. I think a lot of her worries and concerns would be assuaged by knowing that many new mothers feel inadequate/ill prepared.

As far a meds: I found with each of my kids that the best "medication" for me was exercise. Most health clubs have child care and I would encourage her to try to put aside even 20 minutes a day on a treadmill. I think this would do her wonders.

Short of that, I think she's smart to contact her OB/GYN if her crying episodes persist. I think she's already a good Mom b/c she's willing to reach out when she needs.

All the best, A

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

It might be that her progesteron, which has a lot to do with regulating hormones is low. I would have her do a saliva test to see if that is what the problem is. If it is it is really easy to regulate and she will be back to normal rather quickly. Google Progesterone and it will give you a ton of information or go to drjohnlee.com as there is a lot of information there. Good luck and enjoy that new baby!!

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J.H.

answers from Boston on

All I can say is don't wait! It is miserable to feel this way, and she should be able to enjoy this time. I agree with trying fish oil (but you need to get the type with the higher level of EPA. I know that "Country Life" brand has the 1000mgs of EPA, which is the recommended amount for mood. The DHA levels don't really matter for mood). And I know that Vitamin B can help too. BUT, it could take weeks and for her to be feeling like this does not make for a positive experience for her or the baby. As someone with a lot of experience in this area, I strongly urge her to call her ob/gyn as soon as possible! She will be SO glad she did!

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