My daughter recently turned 3 and I started the potty training process.
To get her excited about it I bought toys at the dollar store and targets $1 and $3 bins. So every time she would use the potty I would let her pick a wrapped toy out of a box.
Yesterday, I have no idea how she did it but she peed 6 times within 30 minutes and filled the bowl up and would scream "yay, toy". I know this wasn't smart on my part. I probably should have gone about it differently.
Obviously it's not her fault but now she's going to expect a toy every time when she pees. I'm worried about confusing her now.
I was thinking of making a potty chart and every time she goes she gets a sticker, and maybe after 3-5 stickers she gets to pick out a toy.
Is this a bad idea? Like I said I know I probably went about this the wrong way. Is there any other suggestions to how I can fix what I started? And do you think I messed up the process of getting her potty trained? I'm worried now that if she doesn't get a toy after she won't use the potty.
Thank you for the reassurance. I was thinking I messed up. I don't know how she's filling the potty a zillion times in 30 minutes so maybe I should just stock up on toys and let it play out for the month until she gets it.
Elena I was shocked too. She really did pee that much. There's no way she dumped water in it because I was watching her every time. I think she would just stop peeing and hold it in and then repeat. I was surprised myself.
Personally? I'd keep up the reward per per until you're pretty certain she "gets" it. Find something with a zillion pieces and make each piece a prize.
What about a wooden puzzle
Set of tiny dolls?
Scented pencils or crayons?
Then, once she's solid, switch to the stickers.
Good luck!
Its all temporary.
I bet you can clap and twirl her around in your arms and that will be greater than a dollar store toy :)
Next you go shopping for cute under pants.
IMO, people push potty training very young and after your kid is 3, you start to feel like your child is never going to get it. Or that's how it seemed to me. But she WILL. My DD was not able to potty train effectively til 3.5. So keep trying, but keep it low key. I'd take away the stickers and the drama and just encourage her to keep trying. If she asks for a toy, I'd tell her "now that you know what to do, a toy is a sometimes thing. Our new goal is dry all day."
IMO, , offering any reward or bribe for expected behavior is a mistake. I trained two kids with no candies, no toys, no nothing. I feel that by offering rewards, you are telling the child that they are doing this thing as a favor to you, and that they can do it or not, based on whether they feel like it or not. My philosophy was that the reward of being toilet trained was not sitting in your own pee and poo anymore til somebody got you changed on their schedule, and getting to do your toilet business in private, rather than getting your diaper changed where ever you were, whomever was watching. This may not be a popular philosophy, but it worked just fine with my own kids, now 16 and 20.
Our daughter learned pretty quickly that "All gone" (in a cheerful voice) meant no more. So if I gave her a small plate of cookies, once they were gone they were ALL gone. None in the cabinet (that she could see or find) nada..
So she learned to either eat slowly or skip a reward of an item. She loved high fives. She loved 5 more minutes"..one more story that night.. etc.. A reward was only every once in a while and it was a surprise. Never to be expected. And lots of verbal appreciation and noticing good behaviors were great for her.
FYI, what goes along with this type of thing is also noticing but not bring angry about missteps, mistakes, accidents etc.. This includes you and dad admitting your own mistakes and mishaps. followed by a proper way to take responsibility in a proper manner. "Oh no, I dropped my cup! I should have been watching my step. I will get a paper towel and wipe this up". "Dad is upset because he did not get up on time and now will be late for work. Lets make his breakfast really fast so he can eat it in the car." "Oh no, I forgot my grocery list! Next time I need to remember to put my list in my purse and not leave it laying around. "
"Oh , I am sorry you could not get to the potty on time. What will you do next time? "
"Wow, you went to the potty on your own all day no accidents! High five! "
Your solution sounds perfect! I don't find anything wrong with a reward system of some kind.....although I would explain that she is moving toward being a big girl and shouldn't always expect a prize for going to the bathroom!! Maybe pick an end date of the prizes and take her out for icecream to celebrate that she is now a big girl and fully potty trained hence an end to the prizes!
If you switch up the prizes to stickers she will survive. Also, sounds like she already gets how to do it, so just commit to how long you feel like rewarding and call it a day. My kids only got rewards the first few times until they got it. After that, hugs and high fives were fine. My mistake with my first was dragging it out into games too long so she didn't feel like complying. She got it right away when her dad was firmer with her.
Looks like you found a motivator that works for your child. Great! I think switching to a sticker chart at this point is a great idea. First, make it 2 stickers to get a toy. Then in a day or two make it 3, then 5, etc. Eventually, you'll be able to do away with the toys.
The only thing I would be concerned with her holding it in is a possible UTI.
I would start switching up the rewards and make them random and surprises. One time is a dance around the living room with mom. Next, an m&m. Next a toy. Next a few extra books. Next a giant hug. And on and on...
I think the most I ever did and just in the beginning (probably only with my first) was to give one M&M if they made an attempt. I didn't associate it with actual success. That's a lot of pressure (well, it would have been for my kids). I just did it the first day to make going on the potty fun.
I think when pee and poo is tied to toys it is a bit funny - but whatever works for you. It should be more that they are ready and the transition should be quite quick (it was when we waited to train a bit later) so hopefully she'll pick this up pretty quickly and it won't be that big an issue :)
If you can change it up slightly - like one bigger thing or as you say this sticker system .. go for it. At some point you're going to have to break her of the expectation anyways - she'll have to learn you just pee and poo and don't get gifts. I have heard moms doing as as another mom below mentioned 'Now we get to go pick out fun big girl panties.." etc.
She'll be fine if you adjust it. Kids always are :) Good luck!
Has she figured out how to pee a little then hold it a few minutes? Or is she finding a cup and the "big potty" for her "pee"?
lol. don't sweat it mama. My son started doing the same kind of thing because I used candy.
At this point you need to have the "You're a big girl now" talk. No more toys for pottying. She is expected to use the potty. once I knew my son "could" do it, but was working the system, I knew it was time to stop using the bribes and get firm. It's her job now. She should be expected to use the toilet, not given a party.
Look at it as a positive. She can do it! She gets it! Yay!
I'm curious about how she could pee that often in such a short period of time. Are you sure she didn't dump water from the sink or tub into the potty? A few drops, I could understand. But filling the potty like that? Something seems off.
If she filled the potty with water from the sink, then it seems she's demonstrating that it's more about the prizes than the learning-to-use-the-potty.
So now might be time to switch from "getting a toy" to the ultimate goal of potty-training, which is staying dry, keeping one's clothes clean, getting to the point where pre-school might be an option, etc.
Try switching the prizes now from "every time you use the potty" to a grander goal, like staying dry for an entire day, or staying dry for 2 days, then 3, etc. You can tell her that big girls don't get a prize every time, but now that she can use the potty she can go to pre-school, or not have to worry about diapers, etc.
