Potty Training Help - Bellingham, WA

Updated on September 11, 2008
A.P. asks from Bellingham, WA
17 answers

My daughter will be 3 in a few months and I've just started getting serious about potty training. Our problem right now is that even if she tells me she needs to go potty and we run to the potty, she won't go once she is sitting there. Instead she sits there for a couple minutes, then says she is all done and wants to get up, and then two minutes later she pees on the floor. How do I get her to go when she is sitting there. Everyone just tells me to use praise and stickers and candy and such, but that only works if she will actually go at lease once on the potty. I guess what I'm asking is for any tips to get her to relax enough to go while she is on the potty. Any suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your suggestions! There are some great ideas in there. You girls are so smart! I love the bubbles and temporary tatoo ideas. She would love that. I felt at my wits end yesterday when I posted this, but last night right before bath, I tried putting her feet in warm water while she sat there, and she did it! Finally. I don't want to depend on something like that but it was really rewarding for her to get to put a sticker on her chart and call grandma to tell her the news, and now she is super excited about the potty training. She went again this morning too. We were out all day, which makes it hard, but I think we might be on to something. Thanks so much for all your suggestions!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Seattle on

one of the things i did with my twins was to run the water in the sink as pp have said. I would also put temp tattoos on them and it took just as long for the tattoo to work as it did for them to go potty. It helped out tons and yes they did look like little pirates but it gave them time to relax and go. They are fully day and night trained and it took about 2 days to get done. Good Luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Find some kids books about the potty and have her read them while she sits on the potty. That way she will stay on it longer and is more likely to pee in the potty rather then getting board, getting off the potty, and then peeing her pants.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.N.

answers from Corvallis on

I recommend a book called "Diaper 3 before Three" by Dr Jill M. Lekovic. We had all kinds of trouble with our first, did all the rewards, ect. It turned into a huge power struggle. I read this book and have been having much better success with my second. (currently 2 1/2) We've been working on it for about 3 weeks now. She is dry at night and naps with occasional accidents. The biggest suggestions are NO pull-ups so they feel wet and no rewards because going potty in the toilet is just what we do. It is an excellent book! In the beginning when my daughter was impatient to sit we read stories and she likes blowing bubbles while she is sitting there too. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Seattle on

reading books while they sit on the potty can help a lot.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

It depends on what your daughter likes. We try singing songs and reading books to our daughter (we're just starting potty training). The other thing that sometimes works is telling her to sit on the potty while you go get a new daiper/underpants.
I am interested to here other responses since more tricks are always welcome.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Seattle on

I promise, A.- she WILL go - and all will be well ( do you notice I did not say which day???--) - ok, two suggestions from special ed preschool: ( I worked with 3,4,and 5 year olds for over 20 years- and have recently opened a preschool in my church- so -- I DO know what you mean):
suggestion 1. have a bottle of bubble soap and a bubble want on the back of the toilet - or in a zip lock bag- it can only be used when she is sitting -- trying to go -- she gets to blow bubbles while she sits!! - this blowing on her part will really raise your chances of having her go- and it distracts her enough that she is likely to relax and actually pee.

suggestion 2. Have a small trinket - that she has never seen- a new one ( it can be a toy from McD - as long as she hasn't seen it) and put in in a brown paper bag - that is her reward for peeing-- you can even use single sticks of chewing gum - or fruit chews as time goes on and you are scaling down the surprises toward a daily treat for being such a big girl

Blessings,

J.
( Mom, grandmom, preschool teacher --- aren't little guys the BEST?)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Spokane on

A.,
I had the same problem,except she would pee a little bit and then say she was done and then 5 minutes later pee on the floor. So, what I did (because I was so frustrated) was when she sat on the potty I wouldn't let her get up until she finished going. I told her she needed to get all the pee pee out. You could also read her a little story or something while she is sitting there to get her to sit there longer. With my other little girl I would just sit on the floor and read a short little book, well usually about 3. I guess it is just being able to come up with something to make her sit there a little longer. Good Luck!!!!! I know how frustrating it can be!!!!!!!!!

A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Angie,

It sounds like she knows when she has to go and doesn't mind actually sitting on the potty. Maybe you can try isolating a special toy or something that she really likes, just for potty training? You might have to take it away from her completely for a week or so, so that she would be much more motivated to get it back. Let her know that she can play with it, but only if she uses the potty. Try making her laugh, or tickling her and see if that helps her relax, and the second that she starts to pee in the potty, make a BIG deal about it! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Spokane on

Try reading stories to her while she sits on the potty. She might relax or sit a little longer. Later on, if you use a reward (I used Jelly Belly's) make sure she gets it ONLY when she uses the potty. A couple of times I gave my son a few jelly beans just for trying then, as time went on, only if he actually went. If he was being resistant, I would sit would the Jelly Belly's and talk about all the flavors. It would sent him running to the potty. Hope this helps! S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Anchorage on

I know what you mean when my daughter was 3 she would sit on the potty and get back up. I tried praise and potty treats, which were great but she didn't ever go on the potty, she would let us know when she had to go, but was still getting up and using her pull up or diaper to go in. I finally waited until she was dry all night and got her up in the morning, when I knew she had to go and sat her on the potty. Well she started to cry, because she had to go, but thought she needed to go in her diaper. I held her there until she couldn't hold it in anymore and as soon as she went in the potty we praised like no other. She was so excited once she realized that was what we wanted her to do, and she never looked back. She was fully potty trained in a week with under 5 accidents. I know it is not for everyone, since that might only terrify some kids, but it worked for her. You know when your kids are ready and how to read the signs, so just keep working on it and eventually it will click. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.D.

answers from Portland on

Hi Angie,

Sometimes helping a child transition to using the toilet is hard work, both for the child and the adults involved. I would encourage you to move toward a "working with" approach called Toilet Learning. This is different from stickers and incentive programs as it honors the child's abilities and individual development; the emphasis is on the whole process, from learning the body's cues and signals and responding to them, to the actual "going to the potty", cleanup, and self-care (wiping, washing hands, changing clothes after accidents).

Here's a very helpful web article with information that is simple but very easy to use:

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

A "potty training" technique, though still very popular, focuses primarily on the "product" and the use of positive reinforcement to continue to elicit those behaviors. Although our culture relies on this sort of thinking (which sounds like it should make sense and is very appealing) there is clinical evidence that actually disproves the pop psychology of "positive reinforcement" as a tool to affect long-term changes in action or behavior. Check out Alfie Kohn's "Punished by Rewards" if you are interested in finding out more about this topic.

Ultimately, we want our children to learn to use the toilet for their own edification and growth, not to please us. And please, never use punishments to try to "teach". Taking a beloved item away from a child only to make them "earn" it back is heartbreaking to a child and makes the process of using the toilet an emotionally high-stakes situation. Our children need encouragement and a low-key attitude from the people they trust in their lives, and not to be punished for their failed attempts at trying new and challenging things.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.R.

answers from Portland on

hi angie!

my daughter will be three in october so i know just what you are going through. the fact that she is telling you she has to go, but then goes on the floor right away after is great. keep praising her! mine just went on the potty for the first time by herself. i mean she took off her clothes and diaper and got herself up there all by herself and went without letting my husband know.(unfortunately i missed it due to work) anyway, what i am trying to say is that i don't personally agree with candy rewards, but you have to make that choice yourself. i shower her with praise, even when she goes on the rug, because she didn't go in her diaper, which is the whole goal anyway, right? positive reinforcement! try not to force her. i just say "let me know if you think you want to go on the potty and i will help you." normally she just sits there for a couple minutes, she likes the door closed. then she likes to wipe and get down and flush. no pee. no nothing. but it's still great that she showed interest. be patient. the diaper is a big security blanket! let it be her choice. the transition will be much smoother. i hope this helps and good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Seattle on

We read books on the potty which works sometimes. At least he'll sit there for the story!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Spokane on

I would say try turning on the water in the sink, let it run loudly and maybe that will get her to go. also maybe try telling her to tighten all her muscle like a body builder or something and then tell her to relax all of them, maybe this will get her to unconsiouly relax that muscle. maybe also try having her wash her hands in warm water b4 she sits down, maybe if she is at emergency status, she will have to go. hope it helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

Any distraction technique to keep her seated will help. If I cannot bring a toy or a book soon enough, I just start to chat with my 2 year old. I talk about her friends, the park, the dogs .. you name it! I have found that the only way to relax them is to actually have them concentrate on something totally different. My little one also loves to sing with me while she sits there.
All the best!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Anchorage on

we did this 2 weeks ago...no more diapers! it seemed to take about a day for him to figure out that he was going potty and then to make it to the potty. still working on that a bit. but i found that if i left him in the bathroom on the potty by himself with some books or toy catalogs, he was more comfortable to go. i know i have a hard time performing before an audience! =-)
good luck..this too shall pass!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Try the "It's Potty Time" video!!!! (It has a picture of a Bear on the front) It was the only thing that helped both of my kids figure the whole potty thing out. (Be forewarned. It is extremely annoying ... picture adults acting/singing like Barney) But, it was totally worth the pain of listening to songs like "he's a super dooper pooper." My kids got the picture quickly after that video. Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches