Hi Mamasource Moms,
Ok, I know this should be a learning experience for both my son and me, but does anyone else out there find potty training frustrating? UGH! My son is 3.3 years old. He has a new sister who is 5 months old. Right about the time I went in the hospital to deliver, my son showed very promising signs of being ready and able to potty train. We did everything to assist in the process, even though it was a very difficult delivery and time with me being in the hospital. My son was really into it and is even completely potty trained (with the occasional accident) at daycare. When he comes home however, he resorts back to going in his pants. I guess that's where my frustration lies. I KNOW HE CAN DO IT!!! We have tried everything...potty charts, treats, HUGE toy rewards, extreme enthusiasm, awesome underwear, etc. I understand that the new baby doesn't help matters and this may be playing into the issue, but does anyone have any suggestions as to what we can do? I'm sorry for my frustration, but I just cleaned a huge wet spot out of my couch! LOL. Help!
Hey D.-did you try DVDs?? My son absolutely LOVED a couple of them...watched them for months even after he'd been fully potty-trained. Here they are:
1. Elmo's Potty Time
2. Bear In The Big Blue House Potty Time
3. It's Potty Time (for him)
They are all great & fun to watch. You'll crack up at Elmo sitting on the potty!! Good luck & hang in there!!
HI D.,
Just sounds like regression on your son's part- a new sister is on the scene. It's normal for kids to regress when there are major transitions/changes. Maybe lay off him for a little while and then he will just do it (b/c he does know how, but all the changes are temporarily holding him back). *C. (used to be a psychotherapist who saw children. Now I am a business owner with a 4 yr old son and 27 month old daughter
After all you've been through, D., this is going to be small potatoes! A lot of boys, though they seem to "get it", choose not to use the potty till they're close to or over 4. I don't know why this is. Everything the parents do to try to hurry it along or get the original commitment to stick seems to prolong the process. I'd talk with him, explain that this is something he will do when he decides he's ready because he's getting to be such a big boy, and leave it up to him. He definitely sounds like a kid who wants to be in charge of this. I'd tell him he'll have to wear pull-ups or diapers to protect your furniture, but that when he wants to, that can all change. Be very nonchalant about it - NO PRESSURE and NO BIG HOOPLAH when he does it. My doctor daughter and 3 of my grandsons were nearly 4 or some weeks past their 4th birthday when they finally began to do this consistently, though it was clear they knew how and could if they wanted to. This growing up and gaining independence is a tricky business and, you're right, baby sis has probably complicated matters but hey! the world doesn't revolve around him. That's part of what he's coming to grips with. Your relationship with him, his self-esteem and sense of being unconditionally loved even when he disappoints you - these are things you need to guard.
Hang in there, D., and enjoy your miracle children. They'll be grown all too soon! God is definitely good!
SAME STORY HERE!!! I had my second, and when I did, potty training went out the window. He was almost done. He regressed. It's natural, because there is a new baby in the house. There was NOTHING I could do to make him go back. So we went back to pullups when needed, and just took him to the potty every 2 hours or so to keep him dry. After about 6 months, he just started telling us he had to go -- out of the blue! He's doing quite well on his own, just like most people said he'd do. Relax, he will come around -- but on his own time. He needs to get readjusted. A new baby is a BIG thing to them. It will happen! (I didn't believe it either....)
It will happen soon enough. No worries! It's my understanding that boys sometimes are harder than girls and train later too. Give him some time. He has been "de-throned" with the birth of his little sister. Encourage his thoughts about being the big brother, that he is not a baby anymore and big brothers use the potty at home as well as at daycare. Make sure he is getting plenty of mama time too. I think he might be just trying to keep his place by getting negative attention. Have you asked him why he goes in his pants? Maybe he is "too busy" and has to be reminded? It could be any number of things. I have 3 girls. Two trained at 2 1/2 no problem...#3 was 3 1/2. She finally tld me she was afraid of the potty. She is 25 now and STILL flushes and runs out of the bathroom LOL! Be patient, don't make a big deal out of it. He will get it.
D.; its ok, first of all most kids dont get the full sense of it tll around four, they will revert back when thngs in household change its perfectly normal, be patient like you were in the beginning, be the good mom you were before the baby came, you did it, when different situations come into our lives we no longer are able to deal with certain things like we used to, its ok, he will catch on, and yeah its hard when you have to clean it up, especialy when your time now is divided, and have like no time, you are doing well, keep up the good work, he will get it, he will find a way to deal with it, and in time he will get it back, its not lost its just adjustment to a new life, a new world , a new mommy, im sure he dont want to make the mess, he may be just as busy as you are enjoying the new life and he may miss you sooo much he dont want to take any time away from you even to go potty, its ok, its how kids deal with things, keep up the good work and patience is the key, it will happen, he has it, he just is learning to deal with the changes in his life, and remember 4 he wlll have it down by 4 you got some time yet, keep smiling, and have a wonderful day , D. s
This was me two years ago. My pediatrian told me this:
"You can't make him go in the potty". Basically--- leave him in pullups if you need to, ignore it for a month. Don't talk about it. Don't punish him. Don't reward him. Make it a complete non-issue.
We did...and he was totally trained 3 weeks later.
My sister was in the same type of situation. Finally out of exasperation she asked her daughter when she was going to go on the potty. My niece's response "when I'm four!" On her fourth birthday she started going on the potty and never had an accident again!
