Potty Training Advise - Gresham,OR

I would back off. She'll go when use the potty when she's ready. I doubt that's what you wanted to hear, but it's true. There isn't a miracle trick that will get her potty trained, it's all up to her. Trust me I know it's hard, I have a 3 1/2 year old that was potty trained and has recently started pooping his pants. :(

Hi D.. I have a 2 yr old son and he is doing really well on learning the potty now. I found that I could not push and he was ready when he was feeling more independent. I have a great book that has really helped called "the no-cry potty training solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It makes learning fun and has quizzes for you and your child to determine if you are both ready. He also came into the bathroom with us when we went so it was easier for him to understand what he needed to do. He loves to flush and wash his hands afterwards. We definitely reward him with cheers, hoorays, hi-fives and a sticker. He also likes to put his stuff animals on the potty to pretend they are going. We started him straight off on the adult toilet with a baby Bjorn toilet seat adapter (great product by the way) and a stool for his feet. We also got him into the 'feel when wet pulls-up' early on so he could tell that he had gone pee. He began to tell us right after he went then we keep encouraging him to tell us before so he could sit on the potty. We also let him run around bare butt so he wouldn't just go in his diaper and think about it more (yes, there were accidents). After awhile he would run into the bathroom and yell he had to go potty. Hope some of these ideas help. Best of luck.
T.

As the mom of a 4 year old who only potty trained 3 mths ago, I sympathize with you! I have a 1 year old, too, and had been so hopeful that I would only have one child in diapers. My older one showed some signs of interest when the baby was born (his quote "babies wear diapers"), but that wore off too. We tried just putting him in big-boy pants and letting him get wet-- and he didn't care. It's easy to say in retrospect, but it had to be up to him in the end. We had a 5 yr old at our house for a week and I think that did it, seeing how much simpler and quicker it was to use a toilet, vs getting dragged away to have his diaper changed. He's not potty trained at night yet, but on the plus side: the only accident in the last 4 months was because he couldn't get his pants down quickly enough one day (button and zipper were too much to do so quickly!)... My advice (easier to give than receive, I know) is to be patient. As my cousin said to me: it will happen before they go to college. ;)

Sounds like she wants to be like the baby. This frequently happens to the oldest child. It seems to them that the baby gets more attention and doesn't have reponsibilities like going to the potty.

She may not be ready and I would put less pressure on her. Two and one half is still early for having sphincter control for some toddlers.

If you want to try something different I would recommend handling the process matter of factly if you haven't already. Take her to the potty every couple of hours and give her something to do as you have been doing. also stay with her if possible and not talk about peeing. Have her sit for 5-10 minutes. She's going to pee on some of these trips and is more likely to get the idea.

There is such a thing as too much of a focus on actually peeing. Also on giving too much praise, making it a big deal. Do you calmly praise her just for sitting? That's the first step. It sounds like you really want her potty trained. She may sense that as pressure to perform and hold back. This won't be a consciously made decision on her part. It's just a reaction to the pressure of being the big girl and having to share with the baby.

Some kids like being the big sister and are proud that they can help with the baby and be independent. Other's are more passive about all the new things. Some toddlers are outright angry about potty training. Therefore each child will respond to different methods. I think the important thing is to make going to the potty a pleasant, ordinary, everyday sort of thing. When too much importance is placed on achieving continence it usually results in some sort of resistance. Kids pick up on the parent's anxiety even when the parent isn't aware that she is anxious or is communicating anxiety to the child.

I have a friend who didn't try to potty train until her daughter was over 3. But then she had to put her in daycare and could not use the facility that she'd chosen until her daughter was trained. She put a potty chair in the bathroom along with some toys. She took her daughter into the bathroom everytime she needed to urinate. Her daughter liked sitting on the potty and so would go in there to play, sitting down with her clothes on at first. She was trained in 2 weeks. She may have been ready earlier and that's why she trained so quickly. I think it's better to train later than too early. I think that the later you try the quicker the training will go.

I wish you success. Training can be frustrating and I sympathize with you. It seems to me that 2 1/2 is early. My daughter didn't start with either of her kids, a girl and a boy until after they were 3. It did take several weeks to train them. I suspect it's because they had caretakers other than their mother and so there wasn't consistency.

There are advantages to diapers or pull ups. No running to the bathroom in the middle of shopping for example. I think that she will naturally be trained before the next baby arrives.

i would just let her do it in her own time...if you try to push it, it will only take her longer. Girls are very independent that way. I kept pushing my big girl and we kept reverting back. I learned with my 3 year old and one day she just starting going in the potty and never used diapers again...its her deal not yours...she will do it when she is ready! And really 3 is the average age for potty training contrary to what any one says...so dont worry :)

Our daughter is the exact same age as yours - she will be 3 March 17th. We are also in the same place with the potty - struggling. Sometimes its a hit but most of the time a miss. We have divied pee and poop and 99% of the time - we can get the poop. Because its predictatble. We know when she is going to go and then put her on the potty. We act very proud, give M&Ms, do the poopy dance - lots of hugs and kisses.
I dont know what to tell you about the pee - its a struggle. We do have success with 'panty parties' but it doesnt last long. A panty party is when we using cloth training panties and let her run about the house with those - 70% of the time she stays dry and uses the potty.
My other mommy friends - say just to hang in there and be patient - that it will happen all at once - when she is ready.
Good luck!

My daughter will be 4 in March and she is just becoming daytime independant now. I know how stressful it can be to wonder, "when is my child ready?" and then see a ton of other kids who did it earlier. To have a child not potty trained at three seemed like a type of failure to me, but she just wasn't ready until now. I always talked to her about it and we've had a potty in the house since she was two. I read books, read books to her, tried training undwear, did the timer thing, etc. It had to be on her time, not mine. I believe that until they want to do it, there is nothing you can do to make them do it.

As a mom and professional nanny, I know that alot of times children will make developmental leaps when they are away from you. My daughter made the potty training breakthrough when I went out of town for a few days and she stayed with my mother. My mom had bought her a little doll that came with a tiny potty chair, and they potty trained the doll together. By the time I got home, both my daughter and her doll were going to the potty consistently! L.

My daughter is just about 2 1/2 and we have started potty training. First thing is she waking up with dry diapers in the morning and after naps? If so we take our daughter straight to the big girl potty and tell her to go potty. It may take a while but she will go considering she has been holding it since you put her down for a nap or bedtime. We also reward her with a present. She really loves little golden books. I went to the goodwill and bought a bunch of them. Wrapped them up in paper and put bows on them. Now everytime she goes potty she gets to unwrap a present and I do a funny dance and sing a little song to her. It works great because she gets a learning tool as a reward, she thinks using the potty is fun time with mommy & daddy. it's also a great mental reminder, everytime she reads that book she recieved it because she went on her potty. Maybe this method can work for you! I will say this, once my daughter masters this large milestone I will throw a party for myself!!!!!

Good luck!!!

I know with my oldest daughter it was so hard to potty train her she didnt have any interest until she was three . Dont worry it is nothing that you are doing . When she is ready she will let you know , and you dont want to force the issue. Later she will be afraid to go when it is time , my suggestion is to wait she will let you know when it is time. and when she does than give her the treat. Donna

well wen i potty trained my son i told him to tell me wen he had to go potty so i went out and bought a couple things and i tould him i would let him pick one out so you start that once he got older he grue out of it hope it worke's!

Have you tried taking her to the store to pick out some "big girl panties" My daughter loved picking some out. I would stop putting her in diapers/pull ups and put her in the new big girl panties. She is going to have a lot of accidents but they dont like the feeling. The diapers and pullups hide this feeling (even if you get the cool alert ones... it doesnt register as "I wet my diaper")

Have a timer go off every 20-30 mins that will be "time to try to go potty". (That way you're not the one saying its time to try... its the timer) Give her lots of praise for trying. You could get a toy or something she wants, to be the reward when she finally goes. We went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of little toys so when our daughter tried she got a sticker and when she actually went in the potty she got a toy. She loved the anticipation to open a new gift.

The biggest thing we learned though was to get her out of the diapers/pull ups. They hinder the potty training, its like a security that kids get used to. Yes kids all go at their own pace and will do it when they are ready, but this should help get her ready to want to. Hope this helps.

I know how you feel! Our oldest daughter didn't want to go potty in the potty chair, let alone the toilet! I pushed her too hard, I think. You just have to be patient, not push her, and try different rewards. Your daughter has done it a couple times, right? So, she knows where the bathroom is and what to do. My daughter, believe it or not, loves matchbox cars, so I told her if she goes potty in the potty chair all day, she could have one. That worked for awhile. Then, she loves cookies, so that was the reward. It worked for awhile. Then her grandma said if she went in her potty, she would pay for dance classes (she really loves to dance!). That worked! I know not everyone could use an expensive reward like that. I know we couldn't afford, if it wasn't for my mom paying her way!
Do you have her in Pull-Ups, or training pants? That helps, because my daughter felt she was pretty cool when she started using them.
Do you know when my daughter used the toilet and potty consistently? She was 4 years old. This could be pretty common, especially when you have a stubborn child! I know my niece was 4 when she started using the potty consistently. You just have to be patient....

Try talking to her about all the cool things that big girls get to do that babies don't like "using the potty so you don't have to be wet or stop playing while mommy changes the diapers" add in other cool things she gets to do that the baby doesn't like eating big girl foods and having big girl treats and wearing big girl panties. just get her really excited about being the big girl and not a baby anymore.

You could try taking her to a toy store and showing her all the 'big girl' toys. Maybe even buy one and leave it unopened on a shelf to inspire her.