My daughter is three years, one month, and has been potty trained for almost half a year. Two questions:
1) Any tips or suggestions on night training? Before potty training, she'd always wake up in the morning with a dry diaper. However, since she stopped wearing diapers during the day, she usually wakes up with a wet diaper (sometimes VERY soaked). She has been telling me for weeks that she wants to wear her underwear to bed, but I can't get her out of the habit of drinking water before bed. She stayed dry the first night we went without a diaper but had an accident the following two nights. I have a waterproof mattress protector but it is still a hassle to wash all the sheets and blankets.
2) Recently she'll refuse to go to the bathroom when I can tell she really REALLY has to go (telling me that she doesn't need to go and then having an accident a minute later). I basically have to lead her to the toilet and pull her pants down to get her to go. Also sometimes she will tell me she has to go potty, but she won't go unless I go to the bathroom with her (and then has an accident if we don't get there in time). Until recently she had no problem going to the bathroom on her own and getting there before it was too late. Looking for any tips or suggestions on what is going on or what I can do to help her. I honestly can't think of anything that would have triggered this.
Thanks!
Try something like "Let's sit for five seconds. One.....two....three...." and if she hasn't peed, then thank her for her effort and move on. Tell her to use the potty at appropriate times - before going out, before a bath, before bed, vs being on a timer.
Nighttime still eludes us. DD is good in the day, but she sleeps heavily at night. I am not worried about this. It is not the same as daytime training.
Most kids aren't potty trained at the age she is now. So she's far far ahead of a lot of kids.
Kids don't "potty train" during the night time. When she starts staying dry every morning for weeks and weeks....that's when she can wear underwear.
You're the mom, tell her no, she has to wear a pull up during the night time because her body isn't ready to stop making urine during the night.
Her kidney's are supposed to sort of turn off when she goes to sleep. If she continues to make urine during those sleep hours she has no ability to stay dry. It's a chemical action by her brain, not by anything she does or does not do.
Drinking fluids has very little to do with being dry or wet in the morning. If her kidney's stop producing urine she'll be dry no matter what she drinks. Being dehydrated makes her MORE likely to wet during the night.
When we wake up most of us have to go straight to the bathroom to urinate. That's because our kidneys just turned on and made then filled our bladder as we were waking up. Some kids are so out of it right when they wake up they don't go straight to the bathroom. That's when they wet their pull up.
If she's soaked that means she's still going all night. She's just not physically ready and there's not much you can do to make her brain produce the chemical that shuts the kidney's down while she's asleep.
She is three. 3 year olds like to refuse to go potty. It's what they do. Totally trained two year olds will start having accidents at 3. It's a super distracted age, and 3 year olds are stubborn..and they do this weird magical thinking thing where they think they don't have to go when they do, etc.
best thing you can do is just let her have accidents. Don't say anything. It's her responsibility. With that said, make sure you have "house rules"...everyone goes before leaving the house, we pee before dinner, etc. But do not power struggle here. Use distraction or choices to get her to go.
As to night time, I used cloth diapers at night and my kids night trained 6 months after day training. I told my daughter she had to wake 5 nights dry and then she could wear her favorite undies to bed.
Hi J.,
Regarding #1: Night-training is an entirely different process than day-training and for most kids happens well after being day trained. Most kids aren't able to be dry at night until age 5 or 6, and it's normal to be even older, too. It doesn't matter whether she drinks before bed. I never limit my kids' fluid intake -- I want to make sure they stay well-hydrate. If your daughter really wants underpants at night, you could consider pull-ups or a cloth alternative like Super Undies (www.superundies.com).
Regarding #2: I've heard that potty training involves a lot of "one step forward, two steps back." This was certainly our experience with our daughter. Subtle changes and not-so-subtle changes can affect potty training (new bed, new home, new room, new sibling, new school, visitors, new nanny, etc.). You could try doing a reward/sticker chart for using the toilet on her own, but she's still young! You can indulge her, in order to prevent the accidents, or just let her have the accidents and see if she'll figure it out. One thing I've read that helps: Don't make a big deal out of accidents. Do praise your child for using the toilet independently. Good luck!
What's going on: she's still only 3.
If you know she's hydrated -- don't let her have water before bedtime. If you do, be prepared to wash the sheets every day. She might have a "habit," but you can still tell her no water right before bed. Have her drink it an hour before or so.
Just keep the diapers on her at night until she's dry through the night.
She's three... that is the trigger. She is stubborn and is trying to assert her independence. She also has "better" things to do than take time out for the potty. Just be patient and consistent... don't make a big deal out of accidents, just have her help clean up and change her clothes (she will learn that this takes longer than taking a potty break). As far as "night time training"... this has nothing to do with being toilet trained. It can take a long time for the neurological connection between the brain and bladder to be fully developed during sleep. Many kids don't fully develop this physiological connection until they are 6 or even older. My older kids (ages 5 and almost 8) still wear pullups to bed. Most pediatricians will say to not even worry about it (and there is very little you can do) until about age 6. At that point you can try alarms that have a "pavlovs dogs" effect. I have heard of using chiropractors or acupuncture to help, but this would only be used once it is considered to be extreme (past age 6). If you thing she has the ability and the desires, the obvious reason is drinking too much water before bed, and if staying dry at night is that important to you and her at this point, you will just have to cut back the water. If that doesn't work, she just isn't physically developmentally ready yet.
Using the potty is a lot of work to her. If you can, allow her to go around in a shirt and bottomless. That will make it easier for her, less work.
My DD is 3.5, and has only recently been wearing underwear to bed. I asked a similar question about night training months ago, and most moms told me that kids can't control whether they pee at night or not. I looked it up, and it's true... There is a hormone that they will begin to develop when their body is ready, that tells their kidneys to concentrate/ stop producing the urine to reduce he need to go... It also tells the brain to wake up if there is too much to wait until wakefulness.
I can't say much about the going potty without you part. My Dd is exact opposite... She will REFUSE to go on the potty if I try to watch. Lol.
Make sure she drinks plenty of water during the day. Stop water at least 30 minutes before bed. Then go to the bathroom last thing before getting in bed, and just a sip. During the day, if you go to the bathroom, have her go too. That way you can hopefully avoid any accidents and you are modeling good habits.
She's pushing boundaries. Set a timer and let her know when it goes off its time to go potty no matter what (try doing it too to see if it helps if your timer goes off. Say mommy's timer is telling me it's potty time I'll be right back No matter what your doing) bribe her my daughter wanted new sheets for her bed we told her once she was totally trained for the day time we will get them and we did. Our daughter was super easy though she trained herself on her 3rd birthday we went out and got panties as I was going to do it the following weekend and she decided she wanted to do it then. In 2 days she stopped having accident for the most part and after day 1 never pooped her pants. Night time took at most 6 months and she wore panties to bed. I told her after 2 weeks of constant dryness waking up we would try it
You're the parent. She only gets drinks when you say she does, and she goes potty when you tell her to. It's not a negotiation.
1) Stop allowing her anything to drink 1 hour before bed. Have her go potty last thing before bed and first thing when she wakes up.
2) MAKE her stop whatever she's doing and go potty when you see that she needs to go.
You're in charge, not her.
I have 3 year old twins girls. Who has been potty trained for about 7 months now. I stop giving them liquids at lease 30 minutes to 1 hour before bedtime. If they get anything to drink it is a few sip of water not a full glass.
Make sure that you baby goes to the bathroom at lease 2 times before putting her down for the night. My girls do not wake up in the middle of the night for water which is a big help.
My daughters love Sofia the First, Doc McStuffins and Dora. So I bought stickers of their favorite cartoons, and gave them as rewards. Try giving her a sticker as a reward for being a big girl going to the potty and when she goes without you she get two stickers.
My daughters have been sleeping in panties for 6 months. I waited about a month of dry pull-up and then stop the pull-ups all together. I get a few accidents maybe one a month from one sometimes both. But for the past 3 months we have had dry mornings.
Good Luck
No such thing as night training. Don't bother. When she is consistently dry you can ditch the diapers. My kids have always taken a cup of water to bed with them every night and drink all night long. Even so, my oldest stayed dry all night just before 4 and my youngest just after 4.
My youngest also has regular accidents at 4 and a half. If she chooses not to go when she "has the feeling" then she misses out on life for a few minutes while she takes extra time to change and clean up. I don't get involved anymore. When she makes the choice to use the potty instead of having an accident, we "pause" whatever we are doing so she is rewarded by not missing out. Wet pants though, and we continue with life and she misses out. I encourage her to go when I can tell she needs to, but she is old enough to be in control of the process.
Sounds like she is doing great for having just turned 3!! My son just turned 5 and has been potty trained for 2 years and still wears a pull up at night. I guess my point is that I would not be too worried about it at this stage in the game; this is totally age appropriate behavior. And, ask your ped about night time potty training... mine says there is no such thing, and that his body is simply not biologically able to hold it all night long right just yet.
