Potty Training - Lakeland,FL

Updated on February 15, 2008
G.A. asks from Apollo Beach, FL
8 answers

ok here is my problem my son will be 4 in may and he still won't go potty on his own he wants someone to go with him and my biggest problem is he won't even pull his own paints down, I have been for about 2 hours now fighting with him to pull his own paints down and he just will not do it, and he has to pee bad I can tell, please help me I know he is close to going to school and I do want to try and put him in pre-k, but I know this will be a problem, I just think it's ridicules and I'm getting very frustrated with him, help me I don't know what else to do I never had this problem with my daughter?

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Try buying him some special underwear that he can't use until he starts going by himself. It helps a lot of kids......But take him to the store and let him pick them out, the put them up where he sees them but can't get them. Then let him know when he goes to the bathroom like a big boy then he can have his new underwear. This also works for children that wet their pants.

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D.G.

answers from Tampa on

I have to agree with Linda. It may sound harsh, but it's not really. Just tell him that he's big now and you can't pull his pants down for him anymore and if he goes in his pants, leave him there until HE takes them off because he's uncomfortable, no one's died from wet pants, so he'll be fine. He might cry, but at this point, fighting with him for 2 hours HAS to be worse than hearing him cry for a minute. When he knows you're serious about it, he'll do it, he's old enough. I have two boys 3 and 5yrs old and my little one was afraid of the big potty and kept using the little one on the floor, I got tired of cleaning it up and wiping pee out all day long, so I just bought the big potty training seat and took the other one out. He argued for a day and then I said, well....babies needed that other potty, you have the big one now. One day later, we were all good, no fighting. Give it a try and remember, you're the mommy and in the end he just wants you to be proud of him. Good luck!!

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K.H.

answers from Lakeland on

Get him a book. There are books out there that show potty training and they make it look so rewarding to a child, and it gives him something to look forward to. Put up a board and every time he does it on his own let him put a star on the board. When he ges so many stars, take him to the toy store to show he did good.

Hope it helps

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L.J.

answers from Tampa on

I had this problem with one of my sons,my dr at the time told me to just let him go in his pants,let him wear them for a little while,when he see's that you really aren't going to do it for him,he will do it,it only took my son two times of this,and my problem was solved.......L.

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M.P.

answers from Tampa on

Hi. I feel your pain. When my kids won't do things that I want them to do, I make a game out of it. I will say..."I bet you can't go potty by the time I count to 10". They find it a huge challenge. If that doesn't work, try a reward system. Give him one M&M if he does it all by himself. If not, nothing. Good luck!

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K.A.

answers from Tampa on

Hi,
The first thing I would do is ask him why won't you pull your pants down or up?
I know you can do it you are a big boy now.
If he says I can't then say ok I will help you but you have to help me!
You pull one side and I will pull the other.
try this first and don't give in . even if he wets on the floor. He will see that he needs to help participate in this event to be successful. You can not be there all the time to pull his pants up and down and besides he has to take responsibility for his own actions. He thinks it will be to much effort on his part, so it's easier to let you do it. And if he wets on the floor it is ok! Make him clean it up and then you obviously will disinfect the area afterward. Don't get up set. This is a learning process. But hopefully he won't be that stubborn and will attempt to help you pull his pants up and down. After he has helped you a couple of days try to get him to start on his own . Go in there with him and talk him through it.

Encourage him to do it and you may even want to reward him for being able to do it , tell him in advance , say ok this time if you can do it all by yourself you will have earned a treat.
Then name it.
Good Luck,
____@____.com

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D.O.

answers from Tampa on

Hi G.,
I am a prek Teacher and I hope these tips might be helpful to you :) First and foremost, I would make sure he is able to pull them down. If he has not done this independently, I would want you to make sure this is not a motor processing problem which would prohibit him from physically being unable to coordinate that motor movement. If you have witnessed him taking off his pants for other reasons and able to pull them up and down in other situations, then my guess it that it is a typical control battle. Children at this age typically want control and if you want him to pull them down, he has found a way to have control by refusing to pull them down. Sometimes, playing games like " Can you pull your pants down before I get to the count of 5? Ready set go.. will work. But other times, it might need to be more creative. So, my other suggestion is to see if you can give him some control or "perceived control" so that it is no longer about making him do it, it is something he feels like he is in control of. For example, maybe he could choose between wearing snap and zip pants or elastic waist and just ask him "which ones would you like to pull down when you go pee pee on the potty?" Then remind him that he chose the elastic waist when it comes time to potty. If he refuses say "Oh, you must want the snap and zip pants, let's put those on". Then walk away from the bathroom and let him pull his pants down or have an accident.. If he has an accident, because he refused to pull them down, then calmly have him help you wipe up the mess and throw the wet clothes in the washer. I would also recommend that he doesn't get a new set of clothes, but that he has to wait for those pants to wash and dry (put new undies on). Then, while he is waiting, the other family members could go do something fun like go to the park, but he has to stay home with Daddy until his clothes are finished washing and drying. I would make sure they came back before the clothes were done. Try to make the consequences of not pulling down his pants on his own real and practical. It shouldn't take too many accidents before he connects that it will be much easier to just pull down his pants then to have to wait for them to be washed and dried and potentially miss out on some fun. The key to young children is to not be phased by their refusal and to remain calm and matter of fact, it works in 99% of the situations I have encountered and sometimes, children will wait a LONG time before they respond , but when they see they are not rattling my chain and I"m just waiting on them, they give up the battle. Hope these ideas help or spark another idea that might work for you!
Deb

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V.H.

answers from Tampa on

what helped me potty train my son was going to the bathroom with him. i bought him a potty seat and sat it against the wall in front of the toilet. whenever he said he had to go to the bathroom i went in with him i would pull his pants down and then undo my own and use the bathroom with him. after about two weeks i would unbutton his pant for him and he would pull them down and sit on his potty himself. about a month after that he would undo his own pants and go to the bathroom and i would just sit on the toilet( not useing it). about 2 weeks after that when he had to go i would just stand on at the bathroom door while he went. now he goes by himself but when he is done he still has to yell for me to wipe if he does #2. it was a bit of a process but he's been going on his own since he was 2 and 1/2 and now he is 3 and 1/2. he is living with his grandfather this year

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