Play Dates

Updated on January 23, 2009
M.G. asks from Marietta, GA
12 answers

My child is now 3 and entering into the phase where she is being invited to her friends house for play dates. How does this work exactly? She has her first play date this weekend and I do not know what to expect. Do I stay there at the house to or do I drop her off and pick her up later? How long do these typically last? Do I need to bring something? Any info regarding play dates would be appreciated.

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

You stay there, and for goodness sake, help pick up the toys before you leave! Too many people don't do that.

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L.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Since this is the first one I would go or check with the Mother and ask her if she wants you to stay also ask her if you should bring something

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S.B.

answers from Savannah on

I personally would stay there. If I invited someone to my house with their 3 yr old and they just dropped her/him off I would think it was really odd. The playdate can last as long as you'd like it to. Are you just going to someone's house? Are you going to a playground?

As far as bringing anything...that also depends. I would definitely bring whatever necessities you normally bring for your child...but if you're going to someone's house I'd ask them if there's anything they'd like you to bring (like if you're going to be eating there).

Typically when I've gone on playdates it's been to a playground or somewhere for the kids to play and the moms to get aquainted with one another.

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I think the best thing to do is stay there, offer something to share that is OK with the other family, and plan on an hour. Then you can discuss with the other parent/s what works best on an individual basis, and your personal comfort level as a parent, and individual, regarding any/all aspects.
Enjoy! Now you get to find out what other "Romans" do regarding their lives/families, and make new friends too!

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A.E.

answers from Sumter on

Play dates are different and people are different. Do yourself a huge favor and call the other mom. Tell her that this is the first playdate. Let her know what you asked all of us. Sometimes, if the moms like each other, you will stay and have some coffee or tea while the kids play. Other times, you will "drop and go." Just call and find out. Also, bringing a little something for the person hosting the playdate is a nice way of saying thanks.

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H.S.

answers from Savannah on

Play Dates are a wonderful thing! I think the real reason is for the moms to get to a chance to talk to other moms. I think one thing to keep in mind is to follow the rules of that persons house. For example, If the other mom does not let her children stand on the furniture please do not let your child even if that is acceptable behavior at your house. As far as food, it might be polite to ask, but it certainly would not be expected. The amount of time a play date last seem to always vary. When children are in the picture there are so many variables. You will just have to feel that out when you get there. Hope you have a great time.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Check with the other mom to see if you should bring anything, but if she has a sippy cup or other vessel for drinking, bring that. Definitely stay with your child. Do not stay longer than two and one-half hours or less than one hour unless the other mom seems to want you to go/stay. Never ever leave your three to five year old with someone else unless you have completely checked them out and even then.....be very careful who you leave your child with when the time does come to do so. We are living in way too dangerous of a time of history to just automatically trust another mom, and it is unfortunate, but true that there is no such thing as being overly cautious these days. Play dates are a good way for you to get to know another mom and how she interacts with her own child, but until your child is much older, you should be her ever present guardian angel.

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Yeah, probably stay the first time. As you become more comfortable with the other parents, you can be more flexible. Try to become good friends with the parents, because these are the folks that can help you by watching your child when an emergency comes up, or someone has to go to the hospital, or even just when a babysitter doesn't show up.

We started playdates much earlier (age 1) and we became such good friends with the parents that we got together more frequently. There was a phase where our kids were constantly arguing with each other, but we continued the frequent playdates because we got along so well with the parents, and it was much-needed time to talk to another adult. Luckily the kids worked though it and get along wonderfully again.

Now (4 years later) when we get together, the parents might chat over a glass of wine while the kids play, or have a pizza delivered. (On the last "playdate" the grown-ups had a wonderful sit-down meal of Middle Eastern take-out and wine while the kids got to run around occasionally taking a bite of our food or their own mac-n-cheese. Then my son got to stay overnight! You've gotta be pretty comfortable with the parents to do that.)

Sometimes we'll have their kid over for several hours on a Friday night while they go out on a date, and they return the favor on Saturday.

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D.L.

answers from Atlanta on

M., I took both of my grandchildren on playdates and always stayed with them. It's not childcare, it's the children playing together & the moms/grandmoms supervising. I always brought snacks to share with the other children, our lunch & sometimes a special toy to share. It was great for all of us. We would meet at each others homes, the park, movies (appropriate age), McDonalds playgrounds, etc. It was such a great time for all. My grandchildren no longer have playdates per say, but the friendships continue on. When I went through breast cancer one of the moms came to me, supervised, brought me flowers & brownies, & truly saved me! What a blessing that friendship was. I hope you enjoy!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

you stay there with her. Not only your there if something happens and she needs to be removed from the situation fast. She is only 3. It also gives you a chance to have a conversation that goes beyond "do you need to use the potty?"
the ones I've had last one to 2 hrs, I was always the host mom and had snacks ready for kiddos. so I dunno about being the one going to the playdate.

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J.G.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Unless you know the family she'll be visiting fairly well, I would plan on staying. I think with children that young somewhere between 1-2 hours is a good visit- long enough to get over any shyness and play, but not so long that anyone has a meltdown. You probably don't need to bring anything, but if the other mom serves lunch or snacks, think about reciprocating and having their child over to your house in a few weeks.

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A.S.

answers from Charleston on

When my children were old enough to start play dates, I would stay there with them. I did this until they were age 5. This gives you the chance to make sure the child enteractes as well as to be expected(considering their age), and gives you the chance to have adult conversation. Our play dates would typically last @ 1hr. I personally think that's really long enough for 3yr olds. I would also offer to bring a snack or drink to share just to be curtious. But typically what we worked out with the other parent was, when we go to their house they would provide the snack and vice versa(when they came to our house). If the play date goes well, you could offer to host at your house next time.
Hope this helps. Have fun.

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