Pet Loss Help!!

Updated on November 04, 2008
D.C. asks from Milan, MI
8 answers

My husaband and I took in a kitten about 2 weeks ago that we found abandon outside. We feed the kitten newborn kitten replacement milk, and it seemed to be doing fine. The kitten was active, playful, and everything else. after about 1 1/2 weeks, the kitten started acting lazy, sleeping all the time. I made an appointment for the vet for the following day. The next time I went to feed the kitten, it wasn't moving. I called the vet, they said it was too far gone, and there was nothing they could do. I sat with the kitten on the floor, and held it as it passed. My 6 year old was at school. When he came home, he asked for his kitten. My husband and I explained that he was sick, and didn't make it, but that he had a good life here, and that he loved him. He was calmed down a little by the fact that the kitty went to heaven. He is still upset, and still talks about it. This is his first experience with death, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. He keeps saying he wants another kitten to take his mind off it. I don't want another kitten. We already have a beagle and an adult cat. The only reason we got the kitten was b/c it was abandoned. I don't want any more pets. How do I handle all these feelings, wanting another cat etc? Any help or advice would be GREAT!! Thanks so much

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answers from Detroit on

Get him a stuffed cat. Maybe a webkinz or something and tell him that your older cat would not like having a new kitten in the house, also that when the cat gets older the dog may chase it. So along with the stuffed cat if he takes care of the webkinz online and can keep it healthy for a while then you may consider getting another one, but right now you don't want the little kitten to be forgotten, but want to give him the respect, because he was a member of the family.

Good luck
Chelle E

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

Do you think your son would be comforted by a stuffed cat that looks like your kitten? That may allow him to hold on to the life a little longer and let go in his own time.
Just a thought.



answers from Detroit on

There is a great book called when a child grieves. It has a pet chapter, along with many other chapters on grieving. I highly recomend it.

Essentially it points out that a child goes through all the emotions we do as an adult, with one complication. The child finally realizes that life is not forever so they also worry about everyone they know. It is important that you and your husband talk about how much you love him, and plan to be around for him for a long time. If you or your husband travel then you need to make sure you have lots of contact with him during that time.

Get the book it will really help, it is available at your local library and if it is not then have them get it through the library exchange. I know springfield twp has it.



answers from Detroit on

Get her another kitty.



answers from Detroit on

If you don't want anymore pets, stick to it and tell them NO. I keep giving in and have 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 suggies, 1 hamster, and 4 fish, and my kids still want more pets. My problem is that I LOVE animals and have 5 kids who all want their own pets. Of course, only get pets if you can afford them and always get your animals fixed so they can't breed. It is your choice as the parent, but whatever you decide, stick to it.



answers from Detroit on

Ouch. I am sorry for your loss. Everyone says that the best way to get over the loss of a pet is to get a new one. Maybe one of those battery operated rescue pets would work? I've seen commercials.




answers from Lansing on


You might want to check for books on grieving and children. The last time I looked there was quite a selection and were geared to a variety of audiences. Once you find a couple of titles you think might work, try the inter-loan system through your local library.

The ideas other moms had were also a great place to start. I hope they help your little boy to start dealing with his grief.

Good luck.




answers from Detroit on

Hi D.,

I have not read the book suggested by another memeber... but it certainly sounds like a great place to start.

In addition, you may want to help him find a way to express his grief. Maybe through coloring pictures or writing stories about the kitten. Often times children have a difficult time knowing how to express all the emotions they have inside and get frustrated. Offering him tools to help him move through the process will be beneficial.

Also, keep in mind this is still pretty fresh. He may only be 6, but he is still grieving. His world is fairly small right now.... there was probably a lot of love attached to that kitten. Think about how you might feel if a close friend died ... I'm guessing it will be similar to how he is feeling right now.

I'm guessing the wanting of another cat will pass eventually...but it is obviously part of his grieving process right now. Helping him express his emotions in another way may take the emphasis off wanting another cat.

You can also remind him that although your other cat and dog can not replace the kitty, they still need love and attention.

Sorry for your loss.

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