Passive-aggressive Notes - a Vent

Ugh.
Ignore it.
We have a guy who let's his grass get to his knees before he mows.
I wouldn't leave him a note. Geez.

But people don't like to look at that. And unkept yards do make the neighborhood look seedy.

Just address it. Get a mower or a service. But ignore it.
Now you know what this person is like. Small. And chicken!

I would ignore a snarky note whose author I couldn't identify, unless it were an issue of my or my family's safety. I would assume that, with that tone, the author is not looking for a response from me. I wouldn't mind an anonymous helpful note, but a nasty one would get nothing from me.

you know, you can buy a good used mower off craigslist & not wait to find another lawn guy.

you could also be friends with your neighbors & ask them to do it.

& you could also be thankful the city hasn't stepped in yet....& they will...as soon as someone reports your yard. I'm surprised your landlord hasn't said anything yet!

as for passive-aggressive....yes, it was....but to allow your yard to get so out of hand is not what anyone wants to live with! Every single family out there is busy....

Well it is really bad to let your lawn become overgrown. It takes and hr max maybe once a week to mow depending on how much land you need to do. Its not pleasant to look at and critters can live there snakes mice and no one wants those going into their lawn or house. And id be one of the people to leave a note. I get your busy but you have to take care of your property rather you rent or not. It had to of been a long time for itbto get bad enough for the need of hedge clippers before you could mow so you had plenty of time to find a new landscaper

I've had neighbors that manicured each blade of grass almost individually.
Their lawns did look great but it was a hobby of theirs.
I on the other hand am not a lawn person.
It's not a major hobby of mine and if I killed the weeds I'd have nothing green left.
Our first house was on 1/4 acre and we kept it cut - no one complained.
The neighborhood had all sorts of people who cared a varying degree about their lawns.
Our current house is on 3 acres and it IS a mowed pasture.
We're zoned for horses and some neighbors have a few.
Someone has a miniature bull the next block over.
When work was done on the septic system I seeded some 'no mow' dwarf grass on the bare spots and those spots stay fairly low but overall the rest needs cutting about every 10 days for about 7 months of the year.
I like a little clover in my lawn and violets.
Some chamomile smells sweet too.
Unless your homeowners assn specifies how/if you must deal with weeds I'd consider naturalizing your lawn with some low maintenance native species variety plants that will grow fine, be drought resistant and need no fertilizer or other chemicals.

Seriously - have you ever wondered about the lawn culture obsession?
You plant non-native species of plants that require coddling to grow.
It's 'tall fescue' that you have to weed and feed which is expensive and contributes to water way run off and algae blooms and then after you feed it the stuff grows so fast you have to spend more money to keep it watered and then more money again to keep it mowed, and periodically have it thatched and aerated.
The chemicals sprayed on it are bad for kids and pets if they come into contact with them - I can't imagine it's any good for the robins or bluebirds or toads or squirrels or any other creatures that are out there.
That's not even taking into account the emissions of the gas burning lawn mower and the potential for damaging your hearing if you don't wear ear protection when you mow and trim.
It's insane and a total waste of money, resources, time and effort and it has far reaching environmental consequences.
Sorry - rant over.

If I felt like making dandelion wine, I could do so because we don't spray anything.
We eat the wild strawberries that sprout up in a patch near the back.
Don't let the note leavers get your goat.
I'd ignore them and laugh as I blow dandelion fluff into the wind.
PS - Chickory and Queen Anne's Lace are lovely by the roadside when it's in bloom right around the longest day of the year - I love it when the fields are all blue and white.

I totally get it and I'm sorry. I'd send my son over to blow a few dandelions their way--

That said, this person is being much too precious about their yard. Weeds happen. They just do. Considering sand can be carried from Africa and the Middle East to areas of central and south America, and seeds also travel (which is how islands gain foliage) I think your neighbor is being a bit of a PITA about the whole thing.

When I had more time to fuss and fret about those things, I'd just offer my neighbor "I'm going to be out weeding, can I get those by the driveway for you?" before they went to seed. She works long hours and we just have an arrangement-- I can pull her weeds and we trade lily rhizomes and other plants so our yards look great together. I also look after her garden when she gets to go on her nice, long vacations, so it's a mutually respectful relationship. Easy-peasy.

ETA: Ditto B. Just don't understand the Cult of The Lawn. :)

Sigh. Your complaints are legitimate, as far as they go. And let me tell you why some people won't come to your door:

We've had many wonderful neighbors in the 30 years we've been in our house.

We've also had three families who were terrors. One had two dogs that barked for up to 20 hours a day. They laughed in our face the first time we asked nicely if they could address the issue. A couple of weeks later, they threatened my mild and gentle husband with a shotgun and arrest for trespassing (he had knocked on their front door), and when we finally complained (ineffectually) to county animal control, they made up stories about our insanity, and our mailbox was destroyed several times over the next three months. Until they divorced and moved, then life became pleasant again.

A family on the other side of our driveway for a couple of years collected dogs, had four in a tiny run. They fought, barked frequently day and night, created clouds of dust and noise whenever we walked past them to get to our mailbox. The neighbors dumped trash and oil on our property (I caught them once). They spoke to us with barely-contained rage when we asked them if they could move their dogs away from our driveway (they had 60 acres). After our request and a follow-up complaint to Animal Control, the whole thing escalated, which I didn't believe possible. I think they stirred the dogs up at every opportunity, more peculiar junk was found on our property, and our garbage cans routinely spilled on collection days. They were finally evicted, and the family that followed are fine neighbors.

There's no way we can know who's a jerk and who isn't until we make contact. I'm glad you're not. But you can understand why I probably won't make that assumption about a neighbor who doesn't appear to be living up to neighborhood standards.

You can choose to believe that their notes were passive aggressive but I would look at them another way. Leaving a note in its self is not passive aggressive. The first note was direct; not passive at all. The second sounds more like an attempt to use humor. Nothing aggressive in either one.

Now if they threatened to call the city so you would have to deal with the authorities I would more likely think it was passive aggressive. If they gave you dirty looks, put their grass clippings in your yard, or sent you a bill for treating their lawn because of the weeds that would be passive aggressive. Be glad they were direct. Consider they were saving you from the embarrassment of personal contact.

I urge you to take the time to get to know your neighbors so that you would be a good neighbor and consider them good neighbors. I suggest you make a batch of cookies to give them when you apologize for letting your yard go. Or offer to help them get rid of the weeds in their yard. Perhaps arrange a potluck after the neighborhood gets together on a Saturday to help each other with their yards.

Become a positive member in the neighborhood.

After your SWH: not signing the note is passive aggressive. Disregard my comments. I do suggest that you not let these not good neighbors spoil your day.

This is one reason I'm glad I moved out of a neighborhood that had a HOA. I now grow flowers, vegetables, whatever the heck I want in my front yard! I have a yard guy mow and edge the parts of lawn and yard that aren't my garden, and it looks...cottage-y and homey. My roses are to die for. I eat something homegrown every day (peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, spinach, bok choy, etc.) In my old HOA, I never could've had a fun, pretty, productive garden. And yes, the last few rains turned my neatly-trellised tomato plants into a massive, floppy wall of green foliage (loaded with green tomatoes--I hope they'll ripen before our first frost). Passersby have to look way past the madly blooming roses to notice the overgrown tomatoes, so I'm not worrying about it.

Having said that, I am guessing the annoying note-sender was trying to be funny and lighten up the message with humor. I love comedy --it's a hobby of mine, and I do stand-up and improv. I find that most people who don't actually pursue comedy as a hobby think they're funny when they're not. Perhaps posting a sign asking if anyone will let you borrow two goats to trim your yard would get your own point across? (And you may actually get a couple of loaner goats to do your yard work!)

The neighbor wasn't talking about the property value of the house you are renting, he meant that if you let your house get run down it decreases HIS property's value. It IS a valid point. If you don't have time to take care of a lawn you should consider moving in to an apartment instead.

I totally understand your frustration. For preople that do not live down here and do noyt understand what it is like to have a drought for months, with a dying lawn, then with only 1 rain to end up 2 days later with a yard knee high in weeds, they can keep their comments to themselves.

I have been there, We have also been out of town when this has happened..

We just put up a sign in our yard that said, "we love our neighbors, they are always so thoughtful.." Never had another note left again..

Geesh, I really don't know why it seems to be everyone else's business what you do with your own damn yard. This has happened to everyone. I wish that more folks would just mind their own business and not work so much about mine..unless of course they want to offer to help with my yard. Sounds like you have a bunch of busybodies in your neighborhood.

Not an optimal move on the neighbor's part but in fairness, he/she left a more normal note first and it still wasn't addressed for I guess a day or two. As others have said, knocking on the door is risky. We have a family in our neighborhood everyone is so frustrated with bc their house needs to be painted so badly. But no one's going to say anything bc they went beserk on another neighbor once and are both defense attorneys and threaten to sue every other minute. From your neighbor's POV, you're new and already let the lawn go. He/she is thinking "great, a renter who isn't going to care..." Maybe lots of people in the neighborhood are thinking that. So shrug it off and keep up with the lawn for now on. Everyone will forget about it. But I will say that using your schedule as an excuse is kind of lame. You're adults and you made decisions that will make your lives difficult. You have to own those decisions. Maybe renting an apt or townhouse would have been better if you don't have time for a lawn or lots of funds to easily call a new gardener asap when it's out of hand. I'm sure things will be tough the next couple of years but it's very different that your husband made the choice to go back to school now vs one of you is very sick under going chemo or you're a recent widow. Those things are tragedies and back luck. It's not your neighbors' problem that you guys are choosing a difficult path and took on a house with a big yard. So I'd keep that in mind.

"Dear Passive Aggressive Neighbor With Nothing to Do,

If you have a problem with me, come to the front door and have a chat like an adult. I'm working on finding a new landscaping company. If you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them. Clearly, you have too much time on your hands. Perhaps you'd like to volunteer your mower?

Love,
P. (See, I'm not too chickensh*t to identify myself)"

Leave this where the writer usually leaves his smartaleck notes. Hell, I'd laminate it.

Can you say, curmudgeon?

Oh? It's just that easy, huh?

When was the last time you walked up and knocked on someone's door and said, "hey, your weeds are out of control"?

Long time?

Never?

Ever see your parents do it?

Grandparents?

No?

Because NOBODY does that.

I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt, but this kinda reminds me of a child whining because an adult reminded them they forgot to clean their room.

Don't worry about it. If it was truly a problem you'd get a note from the city/town. The best thing to do is just do what you've been doing as you're able. It is clear you're doing your best.

People don't make face-to-face confrontations often. Sometimes it isn't wise to do so, but it is also a generic result of not knowing our neighbors. They don't know that you are not crazytaters people who will retaliate.

One of my hobbies is yard work. I, too, would be a person to leave a note. I see nothing wrong with it.

I have also ventured into my next door neighbors yard to water dying plants. I've planted in the yards of 'for sale' homes on my street. I pick up paper along my street.

Homes are our single largest investment. We care about them.

Why would you give a plate of cookies to a jerk?

Ignore this and continue to try to find a guy to come and mow. When you have him, then you won't have to worry about the jerk of a neighbor anymore. Don't do anything above and beyond what your LANDLORD expects. HE/SHE is who you are beholden to. No one else.

A lady moved to my town and was a renter. She had never lived in a place where the landlord didn't take care of the lawn as part of the rent. She had the hardest time with this because she was handicapped and on SSDI, for a single person of any age it's about $600 per month. She got low income housing through the state and paid her own utilities and other bills. She was totally independent so trying to find someone to volunteer to mow for her was really hard.

Her home teacher told her she was lazy and just needed to go out and do it herself, her visiting teacher told her that the bishop said no one was allowed to do anything for her because she was too lazy and dependent on the church. Again, she paid full tithes and didn't go to the church for anything.

So she would go out with clippers much like you do and cut as much of it as she could. Eventually some kids moved in next to her and they would mow her yard for about $10, with a mower she bought from another neighbor.

It stinks that people have to resort to sending you notes about your lawn. They must want to avoid confrontation.

Sounds like our passive aggressive HOA. It is a pain in the rear to keep our lawn "perfect" all year long. Just a couple days of 115 during the summer burns the grass and no amount of watering it helps until the temperatures go down again. We can water until we're bankrupt from the high bills and it'll still be an issue. Then you get the rains. You can't mow the lawn while it is raining or while the ground is saturated. It's not good for the mower. Oh and of course there are those weeds that grow faster than you can blink and won't go away.
I want to rip out our grass so badly and the HOA won't let us. I want a lower maintenance, native yard with more rockscaping.
There is no reason to be passive aggressive. I don't see the humor even if he was trying.
Some people are like that. I don't get it. There's not much you can do about it.

Depending on how I was feeling that day, I might deliberately take the note, walk out on my driveway with it, and light it on fire and smile. Then walk in my house, and hope the person who wrote it was watching. Then I might post something on the door like "Dear note-leaver, if you have concerns about weeds, the adult thing to do is come over and talk to me. I don't bite."

Honestly, if you are renting, who gives a damn about property values. If he has a problem with the weeds/lawn/etc, tell him to contact the owner and tell the owner to manage the lawn (unless that was all part of your contract). The reality is - renters don't usually maintain that stuff because they don't care (and shouldn't really). I moved out of a neighborhood specifically because too many of the houses became rent houses.