Party Foods

Updated on May 29, 2013
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
23 answers

We went to a party yesterday at a new friend's house, with a new group of friends. It was the first time I've been to a party where everyone brought store made foods --I made a blueberry cake, yum! It got me thinking, why have I never gone to such a party, when for them it was all normal? I'm serious. Whenever we have dinner with family or with our regular friends, almost everything is homemade. Nothing was homemade yesterday, not even the potato salad. It was all from the deli at the grocery store. Do most people just not cook? I was just so surprised that I was the only person who bothered to make anything.

I'm also curious if anyone thinks it's a social class thing.

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So What Happened?

Invites went out three weeks before. All SAHMs.

Everyone loved my cake.

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

What kills me is the store bought items that people serve right in the deli containers. Are we raised by wolves!!!???

4 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

If someone told me to bring the potato salad I would buy it too because I don't know how to make it and I have no interest in learning since I don't like it😊. If on the other hand, I was ask to bring an appetizer or dessert I may make it if I had the time but I may just pick something up at the store. I didn't think it really mattered one way or the other.

4 moms found this helpful

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Isn't it more important that friends found time to get together and enjoy each others' company? Isn't that what matters, and not the source of the food?

Your post, whether you meant it to or not, gives an impression that you're a bit insulted that only you "bothered" to cook. Is that enough to make you stop seeing them again? And why did social class leap to your mind?

Oh, and three weeks' notice for the invitation means nothing. Being an SAHM means nothing either. These people might be, well, busy. Having three weeks' notice and being an SAHM does not create an expectation that they MUST then cook. That expectation would be a bit old-fashioned, no?

8 moms found this helpful
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C..

answers from Columbia on

I don't put a higher value on something that is "home made", in general, so for me it wouldn't be an issue of whether or not I "cared enough" (which is what I assume you meant when you said *bothered*). If I'm there and I've brought what I'm supposed to bring.... then you can assume I cared enough.

For me.... I figure out what I am supposed to bring (if it's a specific item requested or if I am just responsible for a category and then I pick the actual dish). Then, I figure out how to get the best possible version of that item with the least possible effort and money. I'm a business woman, so that's how my brain works. If I can MAKE it better, then I make it. If I can BUY it better, then I buy it.

To make something home made for the sake of it being home made is ridiculous and a waste of time, in my opinion. Now, I make a few dishes that can't be duplicated. They are absolutely fan-freaking-tastic and in high demand at family functions. I would make those. But if it's potato salad? I can buy potato salad MUCH more cheaply and quicker than I can make it. I'd rather do a million things than peel and boil potatoes.

I don't know about it being a "class" thing..... I'd say I'm right square in the middle of middle class, if that helps determine.

6 moms found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Huntington on

It might have just been a timing thing- Memorial Weekend is so busy. I felt like we did not have a second to sit down! So maybe everyone opted for store bought due to the busy holiday weekend.

In my area, mostly party foods are a mix of homemade and store bought (99% of store bought from Sams or Costco). I think that even though moms are so super busy these days, it has kindof become "in vogue" to make instead of buy (think Pinterest). I also live in Utah where there is a huge LDS (Mormon) community and all my extended family is LDS, and "doing it yourself" and being self-sufficient is a very big thing for the LDS. Many garden and can some of their food, the women's group usually gathers and publishes ward cookbooks and has "homemaking" demonstrations monthly where women learn all sorts of things from crafting, cooking, canning, gardening, etc. Anyway, it is basically the culture here to make most of the party foods from scratch.

I DO think it is funny when people apologize for a food item being storebought. My friends do this a lot. Hey, you brought something to the party! You came! And your store bought potato salad is just as good as homemade so stop feeling guilty! Some people love to cook, so we do... no need to feel bad if it is not your thing!

4 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Miami on

Well, I cook 6 nights a week (mom has everyone there for Sunday dinner) and we all pack lunches every day. So... when it's time to go to someone else's home it's a 50/50 shot that I will make something and it is entirely dependent on what they ask me to bring. Appetizer? I'll probably make it. Dessert? Buying it, definitely. Bottom line is that it's fun to get together with friends. If I have time to cook, I will. If I don't, I will order something "nice" and bring that.

4 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I like to go to potlucks specifically because in our group, most people make their food homemade. I hate deli potato salad and macaroni salad. I had a potluck party once and one of my friends brought deli salads and NO ONE ate one bite out of either. Another time a friend of mine was supposed to bring "chips and dip" and I swear, she brought one snack size bag of chips for about 12 of us. I almost died. Thankfully I had a couple half eaten bags in my own pantry we used. I guess that's off subject but I hate that about potlucks. I would be surprised like you were if I went to a home party and it was all store bought and potluck.

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

If it is an Impromptu party, everyone just runs out to get something. I think it just depends on how much time people have. Personally, I do not care where foods come from. I am at a party which means I do not have to cook that night.

Why would you think this is a "social class" issue???? I guess then if it bother you that much, find new friends to party with.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

No, it's just so much easier to clean up after getting store bought...lol.

Maybe you could have a party next time and have it be "bring your favorite recipe and a dish of it to share" then everything would be homemade. It might start a new trend.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

I really don't love to cook. So I will often bring something store bought or serve sides that are store bought. But I won't serve it in a plastic container!!

Cooking takes a lot of planning, time and energy. So I understand when people don't cook. I do think you shouldn't try to pass it off as homemade when you bought it! :)

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It's not a class thing. My cousin (a SAHM of one) and her husband are very well off, have a beautiful home and love to entertain but they NEVER cook. They always order trays of food and desserts. My sister and brother don't cook either. My husband finds this strange because all of his family events are potluck, family style spreads where everything except the wine is homemade. His brothers and sisters have varying levels of income and success but they all love food and cooking, as do I. It's just not for everyone.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Maybe in this group of friends, no one has the time or an interest in cooking from scratch. What was the response to your homemake blueberry cake? Sometimes my husband prefers store bought food when he doesn't know the cook (how good a cook they are or what the sanitary conditions they prepare food in). Interesting question.

3 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

J., my cooking stinks. I ALWAYS take something store bought if it's not cut up veggies. I don't know what you mean by "social class thing", but if it's not people being too busy to cook, it might be because what they buy actually tastes better. That sure is the way it is for me LOL!!

3 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Some people don't feel comfortable making food for others. Worried it might not be what they like. Or you might be right they might not cook.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from New York on

It's not a social class thing.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

It depends...if most of the people work, it's easier to buy pre-made food.

I always make everything, but I have the time and a little know-how.

I know other people who really never learned how to cook. My cousin buys pre-made meals for her family all the time. I never do.

2 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I'm petrified of bringing my cooking to other people's homes. I tend to be very experimental in my cooking, but I don't know that people outside of my family would appreciate it. So, I always bring a store-bought dish to potlucks. The only time I have brought my own creation was when I did a sweet potato souffle and brought it to Thanksgiving. It was a hit.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

We prepare food but is that cooking? Fish sticks (or steamed fish IF I have time to buy fresh), frozen veggies and bananas, etc. Dinners take 10-15 minutes or so to "make." We have a baby and 4 littles. It's crazy @ dinnertime! I don't have time to cook during the day. I just try for nutrient groups and something balanced.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I can't eat MSG, my daughter has Celiac's, my granddaughter can't have dairy. Potlucks are difficult for us. If the food is homemade most people never look at the ingredients and if we ask does this have MSG, dairy or gluten they give us that wide eyed shocked look of 'I don't know'. If the food comes from a deli it will usually have an ingredients lable on it and I can check for myself.

I used to LOVE potlucks but now I tend to stay away from them because I don't want to get sick or have my family members get sick.

I am always surprised at the number of young people who do not know how to cook or just don't want to cook. The just buy processed food and heat it up.

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My SAHM friends all make food from scratch because they have the time and because it is more affordable. My friends who work full time buy pre-made convenience foods because they don't have time to cook, but they have the extra money for convenience. I would prefer the homemade, personally.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

I think it just depends on the group. We used to live in NY and when I was there, it was rare that someone would bring something homemade to an event. I think some of them felt like that wasn't as nice as a store bought thing??
Now we live in Seattle and I tend to see more homemade things at parties. But its probably just the group. We had a BBQ yesterday and all of the things that were brought were homemade - including the salsa and guacamole.
A lot of people don't like to cook, or don't feel they have the time, I think that's all.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it has anything to do with social class. I think some people like to cook and others don't, also time is a factor as well. Sometimes homemade is more expensive after you buy all the ingredients and it takes a special skill to make everything. I didn't start cooking till I was in my 40's. Prior I would have brought food from the store because I doubt anyone would have wanted anything I made. Also, scratch cooking is a lot of work and takes time. Some people may trade their time to just buy something.

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I love to cook and always bring homemade goods to a potluck, party or an event. I also love to bake, have sold Pampered Chef tools for over 20 years and love to be in the kitchen. I have been to events where nothing is homemade - just depends on the crowd.

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