Opening Presents

Updated on November 21, 2006
T.K. asks from Tinley Park, IL
18 answers

I'm having my son's first birthday party soon (next weekend). My husband and I are figurine out all the last minute details and are trying to figure out if we have to open presents at the party. Their will be 60+ people there. We would prefer not to since the party is at a hall for 4hrs and the time will go by so fast. Thoughts?

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So What Happened?

The party went well. My son enjoyed himself and playing with his friends and cousins. We ended up not opening up the gifts. That evening when we got home my son (we) opened a few and we finished opening them the next morning. We sent thank you notes with a picture of him eating his cake and then each person got pictures of our son opening and/or playing with the gift that they gave him. I didn't get any negative feedback from anyone about us not opening the gifts.

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S.V.

answers from Atlanta on

Nowadays, I've seen most parents NOT opening gifts, as it makes a comparison on who gave what, which is better,etc. In addition, most want to keep some toys for later as the kid has too many open toys already. It is always nice to send a thank you card after you have finally settled down from the party to thank everyone for the gifts they gave at the party.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Although 60 people is a HUGE party--I think it is very rude not to open the gifts at the party. A friend of mine just went to a first birthday that did not open the gifts and she was shocked and mad!! It's all part of the first birthday party! If you are worried about kids being disruptive give them a "job" like cleaning the paper for you OR pass out coloring books and crayons to the older kids--which would probably give the parents a hint too!
Also last week I helped my sister at my niece's first bairthday by keeping a list of the gifts like at a wedding shower. I'd suggest you do this to help with thank you cards!

Just my thoughts..
L.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

No you won't have time. I had a party for my son at one year at a restaurant and we just enjoyed spending time with everyone. Do it when you get home.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

I struggled with the same issue at my daughter's third birthday party. We rented out the entire public pool for three hours. It was the kind of pool that has teriffic slides and diving boards. When it came time for cake, the kids had to be dragged out of the pool to sing. After singing and eating cake, the kids ran back to the slides. I did not want to eat away the time to get them back then open gifts so I discussed my options with the older Aunts and we decided to let it be. My baby did not open her gifts until the next day and the kids had a wonderful time. If I would have had the party at my house, I would have opened the gifts, but because we were under a time crunch, I wanted the kids to spend as much time in the pool as possible. In your situation, what kinds of activities are you going to have for the kids to fill the four hours? you may find that opening up presents will fill some time, unless you have a clown or a magician working overtime. Good Luck and Happy Birthday to your little one!

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Unless you know that the kids that are going to be there are well-behaved I would definitely say no. We opened presents here for my daughter's first birthday last December and I will never, ever do it again. Some of the kids were not well-behaved and their parents didn't discipline them so it literally was a free for all. I didn't know what was from who and I was thanking people for things that they didn't even give my daughter. Mainly it was my nephews who were the problem and when I told them to please wait and not tear open the presents until I had read the cards, my sister got mad at me for "disciplining" her boys. But there were other kids there that didn't listen either. It was a nightmare. So, this year we are having her party at Chuck E Cheese and bringing home all the presents so she can open them on her actual birthday. And like you, we will be pressed for time so it's probably better that way anyway. Hope this helps. Have fun!!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

I never open presents at our parties, mainly because some people might be embarrassed if they give a more modest gift.
In addition, in your case, I would not even consider opening gifts at such a large party.
Amy

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Donna, but I am from the South too!
I had never heard of this or realized it was done until we went to a birthday party here a few weekends ago and the gifts were not opened. My daughter is 6 and she kept saying, "I wonder what he got, Mom! I wonder if he was excited when he opened mine!"
We felt that it was incredibly rude to save it for later.
-Amanda

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K.

answers from Chicago on

When people go to a party even though 4 hours may not seem long but you should have enough time. I would get someone to write down on the envelope who gave what,a person who shows the gift and then puts it in a bag,and then have kids on the floor gathering up the garbage in a bag....that way they are sitting and each take turns with picking up the little pieces. It keeps those wild children a bit calm because they get to see the gifts and help. Since you have to clean up its a great way to get the gifts put away,paper cleaned,and knowing what your son recieved. Also make sure you give someone camera duty so you don't miss any of the fun. Have a fun time.

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C.R.

answers from Chicago on

I would open the presents. I always like to see the recients response to what I gave. Those that are interested will watch and the rest of the guest will be fine socializing. Same with the kids. I wouldn't expect them to all be sitting there watching. Have someone help you keep items organized so it is easier for you to write thank you notes. Having someone video this also is a help later on.

It will work out just fine.

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I also think it is rude. The gift giving is as much for the giver as the reciever! If someone is kind enough to give a gift then you should make the time to open it in front of them, UNLESS you specify in your invitation that you would rather open gifts WITH THE PERSON at another time. This first became the norm with wedding gifts (which I thought was aweful) but now is normal for other gift giving times as well! Is it finally going to happen with Christmas too?? Bleh, what is wrong with our generation?? =(
With that many people a 1 year old is going to get overwhelmed very quickly, I don't think you want the memory of a screaming baby for his 1st birthday. =) Make it light and fun and be sure he has a nap. I also agree, 4 hours is WAY too long.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

4 hours is a VERY long time for a kids birthday party. I'll be surprised if you're not pulling your hair out after an hour LOL. Just my opinion but I think its terribly rude not to open the gifts while the givers are there, but then agan I'm from the South and we do things a LOT differently. I can just HEAR my family if I ever said "no, we're going to wait till we're alone to open your gifts". I'd probably be disowned!

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J.

answers from Chicago on

These answers are really interesting! I think the custom of having parties at a "place," where the time is limited (usually it's 1-2 hours), makes it really hard to open presents at the party. When we have parties at home, we open gifts; when they are at a rental place, we don't. Now I feel terrible that people will think it's rude. We had my son's birthday party at a children's museum last week and only had the party room for 1 hour. By the time food/cake was done there was 15 minutes left, and another group waiting, so we decided to skip the presents.

But 4 hours is a long time, and a 1yo party is more for the grownups than the kids, so why not do the opening there, and whoever isn't interested in it can socialize/play in another area.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

I am have my daughter's 1st Birthday this weekend at a restaurant for family and friends. 4 hours for you party is a long time actually so you would have plenty of time to open gifts. Just depends on your guests- I have older family that love to see what the kids get and like to see your reaction to what you give etc... so for birthdays we do open at the party if there is time and space.

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I.L.

answers from Chicago on

We just had our daughter's birthday party at a place in Mundelein. We wanted the kids to be able to play as long as they could without taking the time away to sit and watch our daughter open presents. We had a bunch of younger kids so there was no way that they would sit still to sit and watch. We just figured it was more about the kids having fun that day!! So, I think that if you bring them home it isn't rude, at all!!!

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V.

answers from Chicago on

I just went thru this last Sunday with my daughter's 1st Bday party. People want you to see their gifts. Open them. Yourself. your son is one and really doesn't know how to open them anyway and will be too distracted playing with others. If you open the gift and say a heartfelt thank you, the guest will be pleased, then, then next day I took a picture with her and it, to be included in the thank you note. And you don't have to show everyone the gifts, opening them with the giver is fine--then put them on the gift table to display. That way, your husband can open half, while you do the other half, and you'll get done quicker. Divide and conquer is the key. Good luck and have fun!

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

You should most certainly open the presents there. It is rude to take the gifts home unopened. Every time I'm at at party that they don't unwrap the gifts I can't help but feel that it's very disrespectful to the guests. I agree with another poster opening the gifts is as much for the recipient as it is for the giver. If you don't want to open gifts because you've invited a lot of people then write "no gifts please" on the invitation. That way people are just there to celebrate with you & not obligated to bring a gift. If you don't feel obligated to open it at the party the guests shouldn't feel obligated to give one. At 1 you will be opening the gifts so it should go pretty fast. If you have older children there have them open the gifts. Ask someone to write down what the items were and from who or have them tape the card to the bottom of the item. Then put the unwrapped gifts out for everyone to see. This way people don't have to stop to watch the gifts being unwrapped, but can see what your son received.

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C.

answers from Chicago on

I think it depends on the number of people you have at the party. If the party is around 20-25 or less, then I think you should open presents at the party (at least the gifts given by your guests). People will want to see him open them. It's like a right of passage (opening your first birthday presents) that everyone can enjoy watching. I guess you could say the same about his birthday cake. If you have more guests than that, then I can understand the time contraints.

I just had a party for my 1 year old 3 weeks ago (20 people). 4 hours was plenty of time. You greet for half an hour. Make sure people have drinks. Snack. Marvel at your little boy. Open presents, then cut the cake. The whole party took about 4 hours. Then he was definately ready for a nap!

Have fun! Congratulations! And make sure you take photos! I suggest assigning 'picture-taking duty' to someone you trust to take good photos. You don't want to miss capturing the magic moments!

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Y.

answers from Chicago on

Based on the two other posters you have two scenarios. If there are going to be lots of children there then I would wait. If it mostly going to be family and other adults I would take the time to open them so they can see. If you decide to open them later I would video tape it or at least take a picture of him opening each present. maybe you can send a picture of him opening their present with a thank you card so they can see what his reaction was like. Just a thought.

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