1St B-day Party & Opening Gifts

Updated on July 02, 2008
K.B. asks from Frankfort, IL
24 answers

We are having my sons 1st b-day party away from the house in 2 weeks. We are having well over 100 people, which is why I decided to have it elsewhere! My question is this: I would prefer to not open the gifts at this venue. Is there any proper way to go about this? Is it rude? We will have the party for 4 hours and to open all those gifts could take up most of the party. If someone really wants me to open their gift, I have no problem doing that. I don't want to seem ungrateful. Any tips? thanks SO much!

Wow, to the VERY few of you that decided to criticize my question instead of trying to give helpful tips to keep things move smoothly at the party, which by the way is my 1st child, so I haven't done this before, this I have to say: Hopefully when you need some guidance, hopefully people aren't as harsh as a few of you have been. Too all others, you have all been so kind! thank you...

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So What Happened?

This past Saturday we had my son's 1st b-day party and did not open gifts. It was a wonderful day and so stress free. When Dillon finally woke up after the party we opened gifts of the people that came back to the house with us. For each gift I open, I hold it by him and take a picture. That picture, along with a wallet size professional picture of him will be included in the thanks you's which will start going out tomorrow. Everyone stated what a nice time they had and no one got upset because we didn't open the gifts. Thanks to all who gave honest positive feedback!!

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Most parents will understand. I have been to many parties where they have taken the gifts home unopened. It is just too much for the birthday boy to deal with. I wouldn't worry.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

People like to see there gifts shown off at a birthday party. If you don't open them there I think some people will think you invited them just to get a gift. They will probably not come up to you and ask you to open their gift you just may hear about it later. You also could have made it gift optional.

Just my option

S.

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D.A.

answers from Chicago on

DON'T DO IT!!! I gave in to extreme pressure from family members at my son's 1st birthday party. It ended up making me stressed out trying to chase my son around, my son started to cry because he didn't like all the attention AND I had no idea who gave him what present! We haven't opened gifts at our son's birthday parties since. I'm simply amazed at the number of people who responded that you're being "rude". First of all, it's a party for the child (or children). Anyone who's ever been around children, especially a baby turning 1, knows that the kids don't give a hoot about gifts. And for those who said you should've specified "no gifts", I did just that for my child's first birthday and EVERYONE brought him a gift. I suggested donations to the children's hospital where he had surgery at 11 months. We did get a few donations but TONS of presents. face it, when there are 100 people around your son, he's not going to care at all about opening gifts. He'll either be thrilled with all the other people or sleeping - that's what kids do!

Don't give the negative people another thought. You have to do what's right for your child. If it seems like he's interested, by all means give it a try. But this party is a celebration of his life, not a gift grab. If anyone's upset or offended, you can very simply explain that he's not up for it. We open ours the day after the party now and my son STILL doesn't care. He's turning 5 this month, though, so maybe he'll care this year!

Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't see how anyone would have a problem not opening gifts. Especially ifthe time is taken up with other things, like games, cake, etc.
I wouldn't open any gifts at all though. If someone comes and requests your child to open their gift only, I would politely say that you're doing that later, but they're more than welcome to come over to your house and watch them open them later.

Have fun!

N.M.

answers from Chicago on

We didn't open gifts at the party, and have only now just begun opening gifts since my son's now 4. Any younger and they really don't care. Just be sure to keep track and send thank-yous, and I think your guests (all 100 of them) will send thank yous to YOU for not opening so many gifts! :)

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

We really did NOT want to open gifts at our son's first birthday, for a number of reasons... And we've been to plenty of birthday parties where presents were not opened (makes it much easier on the kids who are attending the party, as they just don't understand at that early toddler age that every present is not for them). BUT we had family members who insisted on having gifts opened and ended up having to open gifts anyway. It was a circus... just what I had wanted to avoid. It was too difficult to keep track of who gave what gift and I missed my son opening most things anyway because I was busy attending to the party/cake/drinks....

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H.J.

answers from Chicago on

With a party that large, no one should expect you or the child (especially a one year old) to open gifts during the party. I had about 25 people at my daughter's first birthday party, and the opening of the gifts at the end really served no purpose but for others to see who brought what. The kid could care less. Just make sure you send out thank you cards, and you're good!

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

I personally would not mind if I went to a party and they did not open gifts but you do have some people who care so maybe try to fit in the schedule or just play it by ear. I always make the time to open gifts just to avoid anyone feeling bad. For my daughters 1st birday party we also had it in a hall and only for 4 hours as well. So I just scheduled everything to fit. first we served the food then we played games then we sang happy birthday cut the cake opened gifts said our thanks you's and then did the pinatta. I think it was in that order. Anyway the parents usually open the gifts because I know when she was one she did not open the gifts she did not know what to do. I hope this helps.

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

It is totally okay not to open gifts with the size of your party. When you send out the thank you cards it might be nice to remember who gave you what so that you can specifically thank them for what they gave your child.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

Your poor child will have enough going on with that many people around without having to deal with gifts (and what's the big deal with seeing YOU open them anyway?). I have never been to a 1st (or 2nd for that matter) birthday party where gifts were opened. If people think it's rude or ungrateful, that's their problem. Just remember to send thank you cards.

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B.W.

answers from Chicago on

I have always opened up gifts at home. While I have never thrown a party as large as yours, I suggest you do the same...
My philosophy is that this is a celebration of an event, not the gifts. and this also alleviates a show down of who gave what...good luck with your decision and have fun at your party, I mean Child's party, remember it is about him, focus on him and let HIM have a good time....

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

I had the same problem at my little ones and what we did was have all the younger kids at the party help you give them a present have them open it and stand in line and then bring them to the one year old that way everyone gets to see the presents and it saves time

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

A 4-hour birthday party with over 100 guests for a 1 year old? Wow, you are way braver than I could ever imagine to be! Under those circumstances, I don't think anyone will be disappointed that you aren't opening gifts at the party. Since you are having the party somewhere other than your house (some sort of facility, I assume), perhaps you could set up a gift table sort of how it is done at a wedding?

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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

Of course you don't open the gifts at the party! Stick with your gut instinct. The stimulation from a 100-person party is enough for the little guy. I can tell you from experience that unwrapping the presents will be of no interest to him. If you try, the gift givers will certainly be disappointed b/c your son is not going to get too excited about their gift (not because it's not great, but because he's too stimulated by the party-goers). If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can thank everyone for coming and explain why you're going to reserve package unveiling for the next day.....when he can focus on the presents and not all of the people. Best of luck!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Who is this party for???? If you don't want to open the gifts then you should have put 'no gifts' on the invitation. People spend a lot of time trying to pick the right gift for a child. Not allowing them to see the child responce is unfair to the gift giver. It is also unfair to your child to expect a responce at that age to so many gifts. Sorry to be so unsympathetic, but a wake up call is in order here.

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Parent Magazine said, you are not to open gifts when the party is some where another then home b/c your press for time.
My daughter is 2. and we did the same thing,her 1st Birthday party was 85 people and we had it somewhere else and didn't open gift till the next day at home. It will be OK, don't worry, have a great party!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

We did not want to open gifts as we ahd about 70 adults and 30 kids under 5 at my daughter's first birthday. My MIL insisted and even after we told her no made an announcement that we were about to begin opening gifts. The only one who actually watched was my MIL! The kids were going nuts ripping through the presents, my daughter was way overstimulated, and I did not get to say hello to one person or even come close to enjoying my daughters first birthday party because I was too busy trying to keep gifts with cards and so forth! Luckily, we spent her actual birthday on the beach in Jamaica and trulygot to enjoy it! Point, I would not open gifts!
Serena

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

WOW, I not only think its wrong but rude. One mother went on to quote Parent magazine but, again this is their opinion and not ALL parents opinion. Another mother went on to say that it takes up to much time away from the party but this is part of the party. Alot of parents also take up their time in picking out a special gift with alot of meaning behind it. We also had 60+ people at my son's 1st party and had a family memeber voulanteer to pass out cake/ice cream while the gifts were being opened. Good luck on your decision you make.

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

We did not open gifts at my daughters first party...just too many. If I were to be a guest at your party with that many people (gifts) I would be SO happy that you chose not to open the presents! I'm not sure if you really need to announce that you will not be opening gifts, or maybe just casually mention to people as they hand you the presents that you aren't going to be able to open it there, but appreciate it and then send the thank yous out later. You have the perfect excuse not to if anyone asks...the time issue. I'm sure any guest would agree

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

We didn't open gifts either. We just had too many and didn't want to take up the entire party time opening gifts - plus, as others have said - it's just 'too much' on the little ones. For our Thank You notes though, we had our DD hold a 'Thank You for Sharing My Special Day with Me' sign and took a picture of her holding that, surrounded by a ton of her still wrapped presents (or you could do them unwrapped if you prefer). We then had them printed like xmas card style and included our own personal note in the white space of the card. Hope that helps.

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C.B.

answers from Chicago on

We, as a society, are getting more selfish and less considerate everyday. Proper etiquette and good manners are a thing of the past. It's rude to not open gifts at the party. It's definitely easier, but not right. Being rude and inconsiderate of the time, thought, and expense other people went to for your child seems to be the norm these days. I find it very sad.

Every event I go to that gifts are not opened irritates me. The next time I am invited I spend less money and usually buy a gift card. Why should I be bothered if they can't be.

I have three children. I have always had large parties and have never once not opened gifts. If you plan your time you will not have a problem. I usually have someone help cut and pass out cake while my children or myself open gifts. That way two things are being done at the same time. You may have less time to sit and socialize, but the party isn't for you anyways.

If you have time to serve cake, you have time to open gifts.

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think anyone would mind the fun part of a first birthday is the 'cake smaching'. What I would do however is take a picture of your son opening each gift or with the opened gift and include that in the Thank Yous so everyone can 'see' him opening it.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

K.,
I was recently at a first B-Day party with about 50 people, so a bit smaller than yours, but for the same length of time. The hostess had a place for the gifts, but didn't even try to make time for opening them, which honestly, EVERYONE appreciated! :) We were thrilled to hang out, eat, watch the baby eat his cake, enjoy our own, then head out. Most of the people left pretty quickly after the dessert anyway because we had already been there for 3.5 hours! The only ones who did stay to see him open gifts were his grandparents. This went much more smoothly than the others I've been to where they try and cram everything including opening gifts into the time slot. People get bored, the baby gets cranky, but you still feel obligated to watch because the hosts are including that...I say don't bother and MOST people will be totally fine with it. But remember, you can never please everyone! :) Good Luck, and Happy birthday to your little one!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

We don't open gifts at our parties either. As the kids get older-- it's a better option anyway since the little ones get upset and the guests get bummed if the recipient is less than overjoyed. HAHA

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