One Year Old Wakes up Screaming Every Night

Updated on July 27, 2009
C.M. asks from Gilbert, AZ
14 answers

Hi Moms-

I have an 11 1/2 year old with an interesting sleep problem. We have been doing the "No-cry sleep solution" and it has improved his sleeping habits during the day, but at night we have had no luck. During the day for his morning and afternoon nap and to get him to go to sleep for the night (usually about 6:30-7), I can put him in the crib and he will get comfortable and fall asleep. Usually it takes less than 15 minutes. I have even left the room a few times when he is still awake and he is okay with it. If he cries out, I go back in to his room he sees me and he will go to sleep.

The problem we are having is that every night he wakes up screaming at about 1AM. Like clockwork. I can try to feed him, not interested. I can change his diaper, does not help. I check to see if he is hot or cold, seems fine. He can find his pacifier if he wants it, but usually he just chews on it for a minute or two then spits it out. I try to rock him and he wants to sit up because he is outside of the crib. I can try to co-sleep with him, again he is not interested in sleeping, he just wants to sit and scream. I occasionally give him Tylenol because he is teething (the front teeth). Last night I tried everything. I even took his temperature to make sure he was not sick. He just kept sitting up (with his eyes shut) and screaming. He is tired (I think that is why his eyes are shut) and will lay down and "play possum" and when I get up to leave (up to 20 minutes after he stops moving) he wakes up screaming again. I am not sure if he is having nightmares or what, but does anyone have any suggestions to help him sleep between the hours of 1AM-3AM? Please note when I say screaming I also mean he has tears and seem genuinely upset at something.

I am not a mom who will let him cry-it-out, so please don't suggest it. I am doing my best, but after almost 12 months of not having a good nights sleep, I am at my wits end!

What can I do next?

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

These sound like night terrors. I don't have advice on how to handle them, but they may be addressed in Pantley's book or website and I know there's a lot online to get you started.

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T.A.

answers from Santa Fe on

Hi,
I am sorry you are having this problem and I can sympathize. I have had this problem with my two older boys. When the oldest was about 1.5 years, I found that the only thing that would help was putting on one of the childrens shows to help them snap out of it and calm down. He then wouldn't sleep for another hour or so but at least he was calm. My three year old would wake up delirious and screaming and there was nothing I could do but sit with him and make sure he wasn't hurting himself. It was frustrating and tiring and awful but eventually it passed - even though it seemed like it never would. After a couple of years, my five year old started again with screaming and running around the house freaking out and I thought it was night terrors. It was alwaya about 1-2 hours after he fell asleep initially. I did loads of research and I started to realize his legs were bothering him, that he was having growing pains or some form of RLS. I found out that magnesium / potassium is good for the leg twitching and also helps with calming for sleep. I also found out that increasing iron rich foods could help with RLS. So I have him on child friendly supplements and eating more spinach soup, red meat etc. His night waking stopped almost immediately. I was amazed. I went to Lenya Reese in Santa Fe and she gave me the proper amounts of the vitamins my son needs to take for his age. She's really good with natural medicine - I would recommend going to someone like her to see if there is anything you can do. It really is a long process of elimination. I wish you luck and hope you get some sleep.

t

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A.Q.

answers from Phoenix on

Oh, I feel for you. My son was not a good sleeper either. He woke up every 90 minutes for no good reason until he was almost a year old. I never could do the cry-it-out thing either. With him, my husband and I had an "every third time" rule. That meant that every third time he woke up, it was my husbands job to get up and help with him. I'm a stay at home mom and my daughter is two-years older than her brother, so even though I didn't have to "go to work" the next day, I still had some pretty big responsibilities that I couldn't sleep through. Once he was on board, it was so helpful.
But for what you're going through, it was actually my daughter's experience that seems to fit more. She was diagnosed with night terrors quite young. We co-slept and sometimes in the middle of the night for no reason, she would pop up and crawl, fast. If we didn't catch her in time, she would either barrel headlong into the wall at the top of our bed or right off the bottom of the bed onto the floor. We kept out mattress on the floor so she didn't have far to fall if it happened. It was even more scary to witness when she learned to walk. At times she would scream and cry. You could tell that whatever it was that was going on really freaked her out. Like I said, she was very young so medication wasn't an option. We did some research and talked to our Dr on multiple occasions and finally decided to attack it nutritionally. I didn't change her whole diet, just what she ate before bed. As a before bedtime snack she would get white toast, bananas, or strawberries and them some herbal tea. She was still nursing, so I did that right before she went to bed. I don't know why, but it worked pretty well. The episodes became less frequent and shorter. I was told that she would out grow it, and by the time she was two she had completely.
I don't know if this is what your dealing with. It could be as simple as a case of growing pains and habit. Still, if it goes on for much longer, it's worth a talk with you doctor about what might be going on. Sounds like your due for your one year well-baby soon.
Good luck. And be careful to take care of you. If you need to call a gramma or someone to babysit so you can get some rest, do it.

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A.D.

answers from Tucson on

I would call the doctor. There could be a lot of different things going on. Also it might help to push his bedtime back a little bit later.

I had this exact same problem with my little guy and it lasted about a month, then just went away. The only thing I did differently was make sure I kept the nighttime routine and pushed his bedtime back by half an hour. His doctor said it might be night terrors, which have no known cause and there's not much you can do in the way of stopping it when it's occuring. They are also harmless to the child (albeit downright scary for the parents) and the child will not remember them in the morning.

Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Yuma on

Is he aware of you when you enter the room, or does your presence not seem to affect his crying? If it is the latter, it may be night terrors.

My son had night terrors and would scream and cry but never seemed to know we were there. Reason being, he was still basically asleep. We were told to leave him alone and let him cry it out because he wouldn't remember it the next day anyway. I COULD NOT do that. I would stay with him and rub his back and try to soothe him. I just wanted to be there in case he woke up and make sure that he didn't hurt himself. Night terrors stink because they make you feel helpless, but they do pass eventually.

If it isn't night terrors...I'm sorry to say that you are doing everything I would do (my daughter was not a great sleeper at that age). I did memorize her favorite book and when she woke up I would occasionally recite it. That seemed to help calm her down sometimes and I didn't have to turn on the light to read. Good Luck. I know how hard it is to get very little sleep.

I know that nap time is a prime time for moms to get things done, but if you are a stay-at-home mom, maybe you should try and nap when he does sometimes. It can saves a tired mommy's sanity.

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M.A.

answers from Tucson on

Wow I don't know what to tell you as it sounds like you have tried most everything I would have suggested! But I do just want to give you my sympathy-- sleep deprivation sure does suck! My daughter is 16 months old & we coslept most of her life, though now she's on a separate bed in our room. She is similar in that she goes to sleep around 7 (though it takes her about an hour or more to fall asleep, and we have to be in the room with her the whole time!-- so count your blessings there I guess!) but she wakes up usually some time around 11-1AM also. However we are lucky in that I can nurse her back to sleep or sometimes just lying next to her with a comforting hand on her helps. The only thing you didn't mention that I wonder if it might be worth considering would be the environment of the room? For example are there any small light sources or noise sources that might wake him up? I've noticed my daughter sleeps better if the room is pitch dark, slightly cool (not cold though of course), and with a little white noise to block outside noises (we just use a small fan in the corner of the room). You might play around with adjusting those elements (lighting/sound/temperature) and see if that helps?

Also for your own sake, I hope you are able to nap occasionally and get some extra sleep to account for the time lost in those wee-morning waking hours. I am a different mom when I get some sleep! I have even had my husband watch her some mornings just to let me get a little extra sleep. I never knew it before I was a mom, but sleep is worth making a priority in your life! :-) If nothing seems to help, you might want to consult your pediatrician or a child sleep specialist for tips. Best wishes to you and your family!

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B.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Our daughter had night terrors when she was about 5.
It's very hard to watch!
If you decide that is what is happening with your son, you might want to find a way to gently wake him up. After months of dealing with the screaming in the middle of the night, we discovered that if we took our daughter and set her on the toilet, she'd go pee and that would wake her up enough to go back to sleep. Nothing else we tried seemed to make much difference. Even though she seemed mostly awake, we could see the exact moment when she woke up.

good luck

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E.K.

answers from Flagstaff on

I applaud and support your intuition not to let him cry it out. I also agree with a lot of the advice you already have on here. Could be night terrors, which will pass. I agree with trying to get him to wake up if this is the case.
Could be the teething, the front teeth are horrible! And with teething comes stomach upset. I recommend Teething Tablets and Gripe Water (I like Wellements organic gripe water for colic). Those will help if teething is the problem. I agree that you should go to a Naturopath or Homeopath who could help you out as well.

Just remember that it's all temporary, and you will get a good night's sleep again eventually (sooner rather than later if your boy is already sleeping through most the night!). Hang in there!

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L.M.

answers from Tucson on

I love it when people say "oh you HAVE to do something or they won't do x, y, or z!" My son didn't do CIO and amazingly enough, somehow when he was developmentally ready things smoothed out. YOU OP, are to be commended for listening to your intuition and realizing that your son needs something other then crying for hours. There's a reason why Ferber recanted his advice some years ago.

To the OP....I 2nd maybe taking him to a homeopath or naturopath or even someone who does craniosacral work...which worked wonders for my kids, or a chiropractic who has experience with small children. It also could be night terrors and something having to do with where he is in the sleep cycle at that time of night. Perhaps some chamomile tea or valerian root or chamo extract would help too when it wakes up...Herbs For Kids makes both of those in dropper bottles that you could give to him when he wakes up.

This WILL end, but try some of the great suggestions you've gotten here.

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T.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like he may be having night terrors of some sort. Look into it. Touching them can make it a lot worse! My niece had HORRIBLE night terrors, but has eventually outgrown them. My daughter seemed to have slight night terror mostly when overtired. Check it out, it might help a little

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P.V.

answers from Phoenix on

Sounds to me like a "night terror." Children between 18mos-3 can start waking up after about a couple of hours with blood curdling screams. My boys did this for awhile. They really aren't awake, which is why he isn't responding to any comfort measures. Even though they are scary, usually my boys would scream and run around for what seemed like an eternity, and then suddenly fall asleep. I have heard that waking a child up before they would wake up with a night terror sometimes helps.

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S.S.

answers from Tucson on

The regularity of his waking tells me that something is going on. I would suggest a trip to a homeopath. They can figure out what's going on by listening to all the symptoms you have shared, especially the time he is waking. They will recommend a remedy and you will see this begin to disappear. I applaud you for honoring your intuition, you're correct what you describe is not a reason for having such a wee one cry it out. Here in Tucson go see Dr. Theresa Cisler and PLEASE tell her I sent you.

If you can't find her number send me an email: ____@____.com
S. Silver from ProActive Parenting dot net.
Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

I agree with the recommendations to talk to your pediatrician about night terrors, but if that's not where the problem lies, maybe also consider if he's getting too much sleep during the day? If he's taking two daytime naps, maybe that's just enough extra sleep to have him wake up a little more than he would like in the middle of the night, disoriented because he's still really tired?

Hope things improve for you all.

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A.L.

answers from Flagstaff on

HI C.,
If I were you I would contact Naomi Aldort. She has a website and her contact info on there. She has helped me greatly and her book is absolutely fantastic!!! Even if she can't tell you what is going on she can give you the tools in how to accept it. And she would never tell you to let him cry it out.

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