Nighttime Potty Training--4 Years Old Is Too Old!

Just keep him in pullups until he is capable of waking at night to go to the bathroom. He's only 4. His bladder has not caught up with his growth yet. It will happen.
Do not make him feel bad. Just clean up after the messes and since he's in pullups it shouldnt' be too hard.
Doctors don't usually see this as a problem until a child is 8 or 9.

Some children's bodies "get it", some don't.

When he's ready to move onto nighttime underpants, here's one suggestion: make the bed twice. First layer- waterproof sheet, fitted sheet (add top sheet if you use one)... on top of that, the same- waterproof sheet, fitted sheet, etc. This way, if you have to strip the bed at night when he's wet, there's already another bed made beneath.

Be patient and remember that he's the only person who can control this.

Try not to be so hung up on his age. It is not a big deal at all. His body isn't ready. Put him in pull ups for the night and don't make a big deal out of it. Less stress for him, less stress for you :)

Um, he's 4, and there is a tiny area of hte brain that has to mature before a child can stay dry at night. for some kids it comes immediately, some kids it doesn't come until they are 8yrs old.

pull ups aren't work, you'd have to do just as much work to put undies on at night. He's not ready, you can't night train (and this is comin from someone who is all for elimination communication and had kids out of diapers by 18mos)

He's only 4, back off and let him mature a bit, he will outgrow it. Night wetting can't be controlled by many kids, you can't train it.

There was another question about this earlier today. If he's potty trained during the day, that's all you can do. At night it's physiological. There are lots of kids in pull ups until 5-6-7-8 years of age. Don't punish him or make him feel bad and, unless you really enjoy changing the sheets, don't take him out of the pull ups.

Good luck.

Wait... what? A prescription for a test? It's totally normal for a four year old boy not to be night time trained. Why would your doctor think there's a problem?

Sorry that you're tired of the pull-ups. But until your son is biologically ready, you don't really have a choice. (well yeah, you could do diapers... same as pull-ups, or you could change sheets every morning) You didn't miss a window and there's no training you can do. You just have to wait -- like the rest of us -- and one day you'll realize your son has woken up dry for two weeks.

In case you didn't realize that this is normal... do a search on here. Tons of people wonder when their kids will night time train. Personally, one of my daughters is almost there and the other has woken up dry maybe once in her life. They'll be four in two weeks.

Hang in there!

There are a lot of posts like yours on this forum.

The thing is, it doesn't really matter whether "you're sick of it" or not. At 4, his bladder physiology is NOT ABLE to hold it all night.

There is no such thing as "nighttime potty training", there is only "nighttime dryness" that comes in IT'S own time--not yours.

I suspect the "test" is lip service to a frustrated mother. Not having nighttime dryness at 4 is not in the least unusual. It's also not unusual at 5, 6 and sometimes 7 and 8.

What "window of opportunity" do you think you missed?

I think you need to keep using Pull Ups and not make a big deal of it and when he has a week of dry mornings, it will be over.

There is really no such thing as nighttime "training."

Kids go through various stages of development to get to where the bladder signals are "loud" enough to shout them awake during heavy sleep, to where the bladder sphincter is strong enough to stay locked against nighttime leakage, and to where the body has learned to reduce the output of nighttime pee. All of these have to be accomplished for a child to stay dry at night, and not one of them is within his control.

Some children will continue to have this problem until they are well through elementary school. I've heard of a couple who reach puberty before they can control it. And believe me, if they could, they would! No child wants to be a bedwetter.

Sleep cycles themselves can change as a child grows up, becoming heavier or lighter. But that sleep is incredibly important for health and brain development. Stick with the overnighters for as long as necessary.

I agree with the others. Leave him alone, he'll get it. This isn't something that YOU can control--HE does. How can changing a pull-up in the morning be too much work? It would seem like changing his sheets every morning would be even more work. My son was over 4 also when he stopped wearing them at night. Relax, it will happen-just not on your timeline.

Night time dryness, is not something that is BIOLOGICALLY attained, until even 7 years old, and is normal.

Pull-ups, is USELESS for night time, because it does not hold much and leaks. It is not made, to be used for night time.

My son is 4, and uses a night time diaper for night time and naps.
My daughter, was already 5 and still was wet at night, slept like a rock, and used night time diapers. No biggie.
She even had a dream once, when she was 7.... that she WAS on the toilet, until she felt herself wet.

I just use waterproof bed pads directly under my kids, then the sheets do not get soiled and it is easy clean up.

Night Time dryness... is a physiological/biological maturity, of the organs and brain.

It is better, for a child to get sleep, than be woken up, to go pee. That is just me and what I do with my kids.
Everyone is different.

My daughter, before she was 6 years old, then had the bladder maturity and development... to 'know' when to get up and go pee. On her own. But... she still had night time pee accidents here and there... until she was 7. She is 8 now, and is now 'really' much more aware. And has very rarely, miss cued, her needing to get up and pee at night.

My son, is 4... and still has not gotten there.
No biggie.
Per our Pediatrician, this is normal.
Until 7, night time wetness, happens.
Some kids are even longer than that.
My Husband, had pee accidents at night, even older.

stop trying to train or worrying about training and when he is ready he is ready, Never had to do training with my daughter or my son never had to wash sheets, never did the pullups at night, just let them figure it out and they did. Daugther was almost 5.5 when she did it son was a bit earlier at 3.5

Try the overnight pull-ups and stop worrying about it. It is perfectly normal. Eventually he will have a dry pull-up morning after morning and he will let you know when he is ready. Skip the test. You are going to make your son think something is wrong with him. I'm not sure why you think you missed a window of opportunity? 4 years is not too old. Please don't wake the poor angel. He needs his sleep. My son was almost 6 when fully trained.

Actually, 4 years old is NOT too old. His body probably just isn't ready...my pediatrician has said that at 7 years old we would worry/test for any abnormalities. A lot of times bed wetting is genetic~both myself and my husband "suffered" from it as children as did our parents. Don't make a big deal out of it because it's normal. Def use pull ups to save your sanity and his sleep! Best wishes...

that's like asking a 10 month old to get up and walk... I mean they are 10 months old already just do it! Or for a 14 yr old boy to grow a beard or a 14 yr old girl to start her period. I mean he/she should be at puberty now, right?
But not that easy - I am surprised your doctor did anything about this for a 4 yr old and mad at your doctor for not telling you the FACTS.
The fact is that night time dryness is controlled by a HORMONE. MOST kids do not develop that hormone until they are 8 yrs old. That hormone is what makes a person able to not pee when they are sleeping. There is NO window of opportunity with sleep training dryness - it's the body saying that it is ready.
Bed wetting is common, even in older children.
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/potty-training-seven...
Kids have accidents at night long past the time they achieve daytime dryness. Indeed, 22% of all children are still wetting the bed at night at age 3, and 10% are still wetting the bed by age 7. “Children can’t stay dry at night until they start producing a hormone that signals their body to stop making urine at night,” McCoy says. “That doesn’t happen until it happens.”

Give him some more time. I have friends that have kids that wore Pull-Ups until they were five. Some kids sleep really deep and don't know they need to get up and go to the bathroom.

My son is a freak of nature. He NEVER gets up and goes to the bathroom when he wakes up. Sometimes he's up for HOURS before he goes to the bathroom but when he does WATCH OUT!

I have to agree with Adansmama: don't get too upset over the issue. As someone who is having major potty learning issues with her own four-year old, I have found that my consternation has caused me no end of stress and created confusion for my son. I am just waiting for him to let me know that he's ready.

I also a have a friend whose son is 5 1/2, and he just started getting through the night without getting wet!

My daughter is almost 5 and wears pull ups at night...she's been potty trained since 2 1/2. Some kids bladders take longer to mature then others. I still get up and use the bathroom and night so I can't imagine it's easy for my daughter to go 11 hoursnwithout going.

You didn't miss the window, he's just a heavy sleeper and his body isn't ready to hold it all night. He'll get there. I wouldn't worry until he's 8 or 9. Don't wake him up to pee... put him in a night time pull-up or diaper and let him sleep.

In our case our son was potty trained by night and day at 2 1/2 and our daughter not night trained until about 6 or 6 1/2. Different kids, with different bodies... and yes, our son is a light sleeper and our daughter could sleep through a bomb exploding.

Don't feel bad about missing some widow and don't make him feel bad about it either. He's not unusual, and he can't help it.

I agree with everyone that you need to let his body decide when it is time. However I understand that you want your son to get up and use the bathroom at night, rather than change bedsheets or buy pull-ups. I think if you relax and let his body do the work and realize this has nothing to do with what your son it not trying to do, that his body needs more time, I think you might feel better. I know all us mom's want our kids to be on the "normal" path, but there really isn't a "normal" path. Our kids do things when they and/or their bodies/minds are ready. Take some deep breaths and let your son know the bathroom door is always opened at night, put a nightlight in if he needs one and one night he will surprise you. Hang in there.

You just need to wait this one out. Chances are that nothing is wrong with him. This is soo common at this age. I would not worry about night-time wetting until age 6 or 7! Sorry.

He is still really young to be dry at night. A lot of kids are not consistently dry until much older. Keep the pull up so you don't have sheets and bedding tow ash every morning. I can think of a thousand other things I'd rather do than peed sheets and blankets.

If he is dehydrated from not getting enough fluids, if he is a sound sleeper, has a weak muscle that controls flow, all kinds of other things, then he is going to be wet almost every day. Make it easy on ourself. Just take a breath and relax. It will eventually go away. He will stay dry at night some time in the future.

4 years old is not old at all. Many children take awhile for their neurological responses to stimuli to mature - ESPECIALLY when most children are very deep sleepers. Most pediatricians will not be worried until this continues after 8 years old. Yes, it can take that long for the nerves and responses to stimuli to mature!!

It took both my boys until some time close to their 6th birthdays to finally be dry all night. It took my second boy longer than my first. It's a physical maturity of the bladder and body and not anything done on purpose or anything you can do any tricks to get to stop or a missed window of opportunity. You can limit liquid closer to bedtime but that will only go so far. There will still be accidents. We just got the pullups and didn't make a big deal of it and it went away on it's own. The more we bothered them about it and tried to make a big deal of it the worse it got.

It's normal for a child to not have control over their bladders and bowls (more their bladders) until they are about seven years old! Waking him up at 10:30 to go to the bathroom is cruel; let him get the sleep he needs.

Instead, try this:

No more liquids past 7pm and have him use the toilet right before he goes to bed and first thing in the morning when he gets up.

My oldest is almost 13 and still wets the bed. I did it until I was 15. Its just something that kids need to outgrow. Pullups and goodnights are good for nighttime. There are pills that sometimes the dr will prescribe, but they dont work very well. if when hes older he is still doing it then there are buzzers he can wear to try and wake him up.

I was in the same situation with my son. My doctor told me that it is not unusual for this to happen until the age of 6-7 years. But, even though it should have, it didn't make me any less frustrated when the accidents happened. I had my son in a pull up at night until he was 5 1/2 yrs old. At that time he didn't want to wear them anymore so I let him stop. He did still have accidents, but less frequently about 2 x's a month at that point. But I can only tell you - getting upset with him only made him feel worse then he already felt when the accident happened. He will out grow it. My son did! I still make sure that the last thing he does before going to bed is try to use the bathroom. Good Luck! Be patient.

Things have to click on the child's brain. I had a friend who had a son that was 14. It may be medical or maybe his body has not matured enough yet. Less stress can lead to more success!!

A friend of mine recently told me that she would put her son in underwear with a pull-up or diaper over it. This way he could still feel the sensation of being wet, which would wake him, but his bed stayed dry. After a week of this, he started waking on his own to go to the bathroom, and, she never had to change sheets in the middle of the night!

Just watch his fluid intake... maybe nothing to drink an hour before bed time. My youngest still peed the bed on a semi regular basis at age 4... I wish I could sleep that hard, haha.
Do what you have to do to protect the mattress, set him some dry pj's out and tell him if he pees in the night and gets cold, to put on his dry jammies and get in bed with you. That's what mine did. I can still remember that faint smell of urine. It's an endearing memory.

a chiropractor. heard that has stopped many bed wetters....

cut yourself some slack...I'm not even going to read the other responses because I don't want to happen upon someone saying that that is too old and their kids were dry at_________.....believe me, that would drive me crazy (if there are any!)....why would it drive me crazy? Because I have twin boys who are about to be six on June 16th and they still need pull-ups at night, yep, both of them.....I guess that's why I'm not freaking out about it because if it was just one, then I might worry that something is wrong but it's both. They do occassionally have dry nights so I'm hoping that sometime in the near future their bodies are just going to be ready....until that time, I'm not making a super huge fuss about it, I know it will happen, they won't be wearing pull-ups in college after all....these are my second and third kids, my oldest is almost 13, God has given me enough wisdom this time around to know that small things like night time pull-ups are way down on the "this is serious" scale :-)

Some kids have smaller bladders and if your child has allergies this can affect the nighttime bladder control as well- I had two boys that wore pull ups and had occasional acidents until about age 6 but now they are 10 and 12 and perfectly fine. As long as the doctor doesn't find a problem I say just go with it and try not to make it a huge deal- it will just make your child feel bad. In the whole scheme of things is it really that important? In a few years you will be saying no it wasn't! If you are worried about the money part, try rewearing the dry pull-ups another night- good luck!

I can sympathize. My daughter turns 7 this week and is almost never dry at night. We have tried cutting out liquids after dinner and waking her to pee but she is like your son - sleeps like a rock. It is not her regular waking time she won't wake even if she is sleeping in wet sheets. Even when we woke her up in the middle of the night she never really woke up - and was so upset about being woken that she would refuse to go - sometimes even refuse to sit on the toilet. We considered the alarm but figured it would only serve to wake everyone else up and/or thoroughly irritate her. We are just waiting it out at this point. If it really starts to bother her, we'll consider medication but at this point she understands that she needs to wear her pull-up and is ok with that. She has outgrown traditional pull-ups so we have switched to underjams or goodnites.

One trick is NOT to restrict fluids, but rather to push fluids. It's easy for a bladder with just dribbles in it to leak out throughout the night. But a full bladder sends a LOT of signals to the brain. Typically, expect 3 or 4 nights of accidents as the brain learns to interpret the strong signal. If you make the bed "twice" (matress protector, sheet, matress protector, sheet) you just pull off the first set and -voila- dry sheets.

4 IS young, however, to be full night trained. Typically expect a MINIMUM of 1 year after 100% day trained with no reminders (maybe 1 accident every few months) before a child's neurology is ready for night training. Some go early, some go late, but the average is 1 year after 100% day trained.

I thought something was wrong with my 5 yr old too. Wet pullup everynight. Finally i got a plastic sheet and got rid of the pullups. And we had lots of changing sheets in the middle of the night, but it gradually got better. I think it was 6 months before there were no more accidents. Its the same with anything else with kids, taking binky away, bottle, making them sleep in their own bed. It takes patience and persistance. Good luck..

My daughter is 8 years old and has been out of pull ups for a couple of months. Yes, wait it out.

She and my son are DEEP DEEP sleepers! We also have bedwetting in our family so my dr. said to keep her in pull ups to ensure she was getting a good nights sleep.

1 down 1 to go! :-)

By the way, night time training normally is not achieved until somewhere between 5 and 7 yrs of age. Yes, some kids sooner but that isn't the norm.

*Just to add - my son just turned 6. He is still in pull ups and will be until he can hold it at night or gets up on his own. He needs his beauty rest ;-) so no big deal - he won't be wearing them forever.

Best wishes!!
M.

At 4, it's actually pretty common for kids' bladders not to be mature enough to be dry through the night. Day and night training are two different processes. Day training is becoming aware of when you need to pee and getting to the toilet. Night training isn't about waking up to pee, it's about the bladder becoming mature enough that it doesn't need to be emptied at night. If he's consistently waking up wet, I would just diaper him at night and be done with it. When he starts waking up dry, I'd stop diapering. Medical testing is really a waste of money at this young age, I wouldn't suggest that til six at least.

im in the same boat! my 4(5 tommorow) year old still does not get up to use to bathroom! and even when i get and take to bathroom he still will pee on himself! andi cut his fluids at 8!

When you enlist in the military you are asked if you wet the bed after AGE 12. There must be a good reason that they have set the bar at that age. My daughter's pediatrician said she would not even worry about it until then. We had to use diapers until almost age 12. Nothing worked, even getting her up in the middle of the night, she still woke up wet. My son wet the bed until age 8. Both my children can sleep through anything and anywhere. Only problem it ever made was sleepovers and we managed to get those worked out by a discreet talk with the other mom ahead of time.

There's no such thing as nighttime potty "training". Here's how it works biologically - the body makes a hormone that condenses the urine at night (that is why your pee is a darker shade of yellow in the morning). As kids grow they generally start to make more of this hormone and that is when they start holding their urine through the night. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that bedwetting in children is the result of not waking up to pee at night. However, kids who don't wet the bed don't wake up to pee at night - the have enough of the hormone that their urine properly condenses at night so that they don't have to pee. Some kids just develop enough of the hormone at an older age. There is no such thing as "training" the body to do this. You simply have to wait it out. There are ways to help with medication and alarm training, but mostly you just have to wait. Know that this is in no way your son's fault or your own. It is simply how his body is made. Put him in pull-ups and put on a happy face about it - the last thing you want is for him to feel shameful about this, because THAT can lead to some serious long-term problems.

I don't know your child, but my first was very hard to potty train as she was developmentally delayed (multiple ear infections, had meningitis as infant), thus, less mature.