Potty Training Advice Please! - Merritt Island,FL

I did pull-ups until my son was dry every night for a long time--at least a couple weeks. No need to be a hero and change bedding every day/night. It will happen when his body is ready. By the way--this may sound gross, but I re-used the dry pull-ups for the next night. They are very costly and my son went to bed clean.

You can't train this one, unfortunately.
They will wake up and go at night when their little bodies are ready. Period. No amount of effort you put into it will "train him". That's just how it is.
And boys take longer.
My DS will be 6 in June, and he still wears a pull up at night. We are getting to the point where he will get up and go sometimes at night...but not consistently yet. And he hates the pull up, but we laid down the law. He needs to be dry in the morning for 2 weeks straight..then he can wear underpants. Every other time we have tried, I've found myself changing his bed at 3am.

My DD, however, is 3.5 and is night trained. Sleeps in her panties and we have had no issues. Her little body was just ready for it, and she did it on her own with no prodding or routine from us.

So just keep waiting mama. It will happen eventually.

I don't think it's backtracking at night. There are different things going on developmentally - and nighttime waking cannot be "trained" - you just have to wait it out. Like walking, talking, etc. My son was pretty "slow" in this area (I hate that term but can't think of another one at the moment!) and was still wetting at night well into elementary school.

I wouldn't deal with the mess. He's not going to sleep well if he's wet - and sleep is essential for all kinds of health and brain development reasons! We went through the "layering" of putting on a sheet, a waterproof pad, a second fitted sheet so we could strip off the wet layers and still have a dry sheet already on the bed. We also tried the alarm system, waking him up to go pee, and everything else you can think of. No one slept. No progress was made. All we got was tired and cranky!

We spoke to our pediatrician and also a pediatric urologist who said you just can make this happen. I'd consider letting him start in underwear with a pull up on top (although the underwear will get and feel terribly wet), or try a pull up with the underwear on top (better). Talk to him about all the things he's heard from everyone else about pull ups being for babies and underwear being for big boys - tell him it's just not so. Try to find some new vocabulary. Tell him there are different rules at night because the body goes to sleep and so does the "I have to pee" feeling.

Tell him all the things he's doing that are so awesome, but let him know that nighttime dryness is about his body, not his wishes or his willpower or his smarts, and he can't make it happen.

No reason to deal with a mess...keep using the pull-ups, and just let him know they are the "night-time undies". He can wear regular undies over them if he wants!
The thing is, nighttime trained, isn't really "training" at all. It is completely biological in nature, and some kids just aren't able to stay dry until 5, 6 or even 7 years old. They aren't being lazy, careless, or defiant. They just aren't able to hold it through the night, and they aren't waking to go potty. Give it time. He will get it eventually, but there is NOTHING you can do. So, at least keep the pee confined to a pull-up.

If/when you decide to do nighttimes in underwear, this is how to help your nights go a little easier:

Buy two waterproof mattress protector fitted sheets.
Put one on bed, cover with fitted sheet/sheet.
Put second one on over made-up sheets and then put on second fitted sheet/top sheet.

When the child wakes wet, you can quickly pull off top sheet, fitted sheet and waterproof/protective fitted sheet, then you have a made bed to get into after changing.

If he really doesn't want to wear the pull-up, I'd say try it for a week or so and see how successful he is. My son was done with nighttime diapers about 2 months after he learned to use the potty and requested underwear at night; I wanted to capitalize on his being motivated and perceived this as as 'window of interest', so we bought the mattress liners and went for it, he was successful. (He was about 3.5 at the time.)

You can do other things like have him hold off on liquids after a certain time in the afternoon/evening, have him go potty once before the bedtime routine and once right before bed, or wake him before you go to bed to use the toilet. If he's getting it most of the time, honor his desire to stay in underwear. If not, gently suggest that the pull-ups are 'available' if he wants to use them. I would normally say that if a child isn't interested, to give it a little time. I also feel strongly that if they ARE wanting to make a positive change, even if it's a bit challenging, to honor his desire to do that. If he is driving the train on this, then give him your confidence and faith that he really wants to learn how to be dry at night. That's what I would do.

Our son day trained at 3 1/2 but he couldn't make it through the night and stay dry till he was 7 1/2.
He just slept very deeply and didn't wake up to go to the bathroom when he needed to.
It has to do with bladder size/maturity, how his brain signals a full bladder, etc.
No amount of WANTING to be dry through the night made it possible until he was physically able to do it.
And some of his friend had bed wetting problems till they were 11 or 12 yrs old.
I didn't want to deal with a pee soaked bed every morning so he stayed in pullups at night till he woke up dry for a solid 2 weeks in a row.

I asked a similar question a few months ago. The response I got was largely one of, hey mamma, you lay down the law on this one. It took about a week, but he stopped asking for underwear at night. We put on pull ups, because ""sometimes" the pee pee sneaks out of you when you are sleeping."

He manages to stay dry at naptime at school and on the weekends, but he has a drenched pull up every morning. We aren't there yet. Maybe in due time.

DS is 3.

Best, F. B.

Can you give him a "night challenge"? As in, "Honey, that's so wonderful that you want to wear underwear at night! All you need to do is wake up with dry pull-ups, and then we'll move to underwear. It's okay if it takes a little time. This is a big, exciting challenge, like climbing up a big, tall mountain, and defeating a great big dragon. If it takes a couple of weeks, that's okay."

And then, invest in some of those rubber sheets. Sooner or later, you're going to need them.

My daughter is going to be 4 soon as well, and isn't night trained even though she has been day trained for 2 years now. Lol. (Though, staying dry at night is more of a hormonal development milestone, and less of a learning one... But there are things you can do to make sure he is ready to be night trained when his body is ready.)

My DD isn't a fan of pull ups... So I started letting her wear underwear, but she has to wear plastic pants over them. (You can find them by cloth training pants in the children's section.)

Depending on how wet your son is in the morning, you may want to get the training pants too. They are basically thicker underwear, so they will absorb more f the pee than regular underwear. The downside is that it holds the moisture against the skin, so you want to make sure you get him out of them as soon as he wakes up, wipe the area clean with a wet wipe, and allow it time to dry out to avoid rashes. The PLUS side is that after switching to this method, my DD started waking herself up and calling me to help her to the bathroom. (Our hallway doesn't have any electric outlets, so it's dark at night.) I think it may be because she can actually feel that she is wet, instead of everything being absorbed by the pul-up. She rarely actually wets the bed, and only wakes up damp from a little bit of dribbling instead of a full-on accident. Lately she has been waking up dry more often than wet, so I'm happy.

Plus, it's a heck of a lot cheaper than pull ups! Lol. Though, I'd you decide to stay with pull ups I would recommend he Pampers easy-ups brand instead. They are a little softer and not as thick/stiff feeling, so maybe they won't bother him so much.

Try an incontinence pad on the bed instead. It is less expensive than Pull Ups, and he won't feel like he is wearing a diaper. He may be more aware that he has peed if he doesn't have the Pull Up on.

My brother wet the bed till he was 12. Not saying that to scare you lol but to tell you what my mom did with his bed. First get a good plastic mattress cover. The kind that zips. Then a washable mattress pad. Then make the bed like normal. She then had a smaller waterproof pad that she put sideways across the mattress and a sheet over that all tucked in. When my brother would wake up wet they just had to whip that top layer off.
That will help with that part.

My advice for the actual training is nothing to drink after supper except a little water when brushing teeth. I would take him to the bathroom before bed. Then walk him in again when you go to bed. Lights on really low and don't be chatty. Just walk him in help pull pjs down, wipe hands with a baby wipe and then back to bed. Up again same routine in the middle of the night when I would go to the bathroom about 3. And we were up for the day about 7. You can gradually drop those extra potty times as he gets bettor at it. But it sure knocks of the wet beds sooner

mine is 8 still in a pull up at night.. she will not wear undies to bed until she is dry wearing a pull up for at least 2 solid weeks.

pull ups cost money but so does doing a load of wet sheets every day..

so put him in a pull up until he can stay dry at night.. it is not bad behavior.. he is sleeping and his brain doesn't wake him up..

do not punish or scold.. or praise when he is dry..

I have been dealing with this same issue with 3 year old DD. She really wanted to wear underwear but she kept having accidents in the night. My doctor gave me great advice: I told her that when she woke up with a dry pull up for 3 nights in a row she could sleep in undies. She did have dry pull-ups for the next 3 nights, so the undies were worn 1 night successfully then the next night she had an accident. I told her it was ok and we went back to pull-ups for about 2 weeks, which were wet every morning. I didn't make a big deal about it and told her it was ok she could use pull-ups for a long time if she wanted.

Then all of a sudden 3 dry nights, so we again did undies. She made it 3 nights then accident, back to pull ups, immediately she had 3 more dry nights, then back to undies and she has been dry in undies for 3 weeks now. Hopefully this is it!

I agree with other posters that they are either ready or they aren't; you can not "train it". And my friends tell me that if my 3 year old keeps it dry for another year, still I should expect a reversion back to pull-ups at some point because they sleep sooooo deep.

I would let him try undies if he wants, after 3 nights, but don't make a big deal if he has an accident. I also give 5 M&Ms for every dry night, because yes, it is absolutely worth it! ;) Good luck!

What about waking him up when you go to bed to go pee then? Eventually you could switch to just going in to ask him if he needs to go. It might help him recognize the sensation of a full bladder in his sleep.

If you search this topic using the search option you'll have all our previous answers. I wish you the best but in all kids there are biological things that happen when they happen.

YOU cannot make his brain suddenly start producing the chemical that tells his kidney's that he's asleep and to stop producing urine. YOU cannot make his bladder clinch when he's relaxed and asleep. YOU can make him clinch it when you wake him up to go so he'll sit there for half an hour and not dribble a tiny bit. Then as soon as he's asleep he relaxes and out flows the pee.

So you just have to wait it out. There is nothing you can do except fight it. One day he'll wake up dry and then the next night he'll be wet. Then next week he'll wake up dry then he'll pee every night for a month.

His body is growing and some kids aren't dry all night until they're teens.

Things YOU can do that will slow his growth down.

Limiting fluids can make him dehydrated. That makes urine stronger and it is harder to hold. So he pees more often.

Less water in his bladder does not fill it and does not send any signals that he's full and needs to go. He should sleep all night, normal people do, and if he never feels full he won't wake up for sure.

If you wake him up every few hours all you are teaching his body to do is wake up at that time. He clinches his muscles as soon as he wakes up. As soon as he goes to sleep he relaxes and pees.

If you wake him up every few hours and he pees, that's only training his bladder to pee at those times because he's still making the urine. Not sleeping and training his brain to stop making so much urine.

All in all he needs to be like a normal person, go pee before bed, sleep all night, wake up, take the wet pull up off, take a quick rinse off shower, dress for the day and enjoy life because he's full of energy from a long nights sleep.

Also, doing laundry causes your water bill, electric bill, gas bill, laundry soap, dryer sheets, bleach, fabric softener, etc....to go up. Pull ups are less than .50 per night unless you're frantic and waking them up to change them. Which most don't do it. They let them sleep so they get their rest.

So by spending more money doing extra loads of laundry you're costing yourself more.

We buy a box of 28 or 30 pull ups per month. That's about .50 each. I'd rather spend that then waste my time doing the same 2-3 extra loads of laundry per day. I have a life and it doesn't include that.

My kids always slept like rocks so they don't get up at night and pee. It was just a matter of getting in there before they woke up, waking them up and directing them to the bathroom. It connected the dots, I am waking up, I have to pee, I need to get to the bathroom. Did it a couple times, no accidents after that.

There's a growth hormone that kicks in for many, but not all, during the toddler years. That hormone slows urine production during the night, allowing children to sleep through the night without peeing. A few unlucky kids don't get enough of this effect until adolescence. But until then, the volume of pee produced during sleep is greater than the volume of those little bladders.

It's not actually a matter of "training," although some kids can learn to wake up to use the bathroom. Others are just sleeping too deeply to wake up. I can't wake at will, can you?

It's perfectly normal for a child his age to still need a pull up at night. Many kids don't stay dry through the night until they are 4 or 5, sometimes even older.

Is his pull up usually wet in the morning? Can you tell for sure that he's going while asleep and not first thing when he wakes up? If so, he definitely still needs the pull up.

If he often wakes up dry, or if he is choosing to pee in the pull up before getting out of bed, then you can try out underwear for a few days and see what happens.

If he's only worn the underwear for one night, don't consider it backtracking. He proved he wasn't quite ready yet.

Underwear stays, but use a "just in case" Pull-Up over the top of them until he can stay dry and wake to use the potty at night.